Chapter 7

Of all the situations Callum had thought he’d find himself in, this wasn’t one of them.

He stared at his reflection in the cheval glass once he’d finished dressing. If someone had told him just two weeks ago that he would be losing his heart to Emily Brooke, he’d have laughed. Yet here he was, utterly smitten while she remained completely indifferent to him.

She’d said as much, hadn’t she, when he’d mentioned Anthony thinking there might be more than friendship between them.

Ridiculous, was the word she’d used.

He sighed and unwound his cravat for the third time. If only he’d not had to sack his valet, but alas, Mr. Jones had been one of the highest paid servants and one of the few Callum could manage without. He made another attempt at the knot and decided it would have to do.

“Can we please visit Rosemont House today?” Peter asked when Callum met him for breakfast.

Callum stared at the paper he’d been pretending to read. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“That’s what you told me yesterday,” Peter grumbled. “And the day before.”

It was, Callum admitted, what he’d been telling the poor boy for the past week. He set the paper aside so he could give him his full attention. “I’m sorry, but I’ve been busy.”

No. You’ve been a coward.

Peter stared at him. “She did say you could just drop me off. You don’t have to stay.”

Of course the boy would remember that. Callum attempted a placating smile. “My mother has a spaniel. I can ask her if we can stop by for a visit later this week. What do you think of that?”

Peter shrugged one shoulder. “It won’t be the same.”

Of course it wouldn’t. They’d have to deal with Mama for one thing. She’d married an artist after Papa’s death and had since become an eccentric. The fact that he’d rather visit her than go anywhere near Rosemont House spoke volumes.

It might have been different had Lady Emily written to him after the fair, but he’d had no word from her since. The future of their friendship, or whatever this thing they’d embarked upon was, had been placed in his hands. He could either act or do nothing.

Knowing what he should do, which was to put Peter first, didn’t help.

“Very well,” he said upon reflection, “I’ll take you there after luncheon.”

Peter bounced up and down in his chair, his excitement so infectious Callum could not keep from laughing.

“Thank you ever so much!”

Callum dipped his chin and returned his attention to the paper. He’d leave Peter at Rosemont House for a couple of hours while visiting Brody who lived nearby. What he would not do, was spend additional time with Lady Emily. Distance was required now if he was to stop thinking of her all the time. It was also imperative that he get his incessant desire to kiss her under control. He reasoned this would be easier to do if he didn’t spend time with her.

As had so often been the case during the course of their acquaintance, however, luck was not on his side. The moment the Rosemont butler opened the door, there she was, having just descended the stairs to the foyer.

Wonderful.

It didn’t help that she looked divine with her red curls pinned in a slightly wild updo that left some stray locks falling softly around her face. The pleasure in her eyes when she saw who’d come to call, only added to her incredible beauty.

“You’re here,” she muttered as though incredulous.

“We are,” Callum said.

When nothing further was added by either one, the butler asked, “Will Your Grace be coming inside?”

“Oh…um…I actually—”

“Please do.”

Emily’s voice, and the hopefulness it conveyed, made him forget all about the distance he’d planned on putting between them. His feet stepped forward and he entered the house together with Peter.

“It’s good to see you again,” Lady Emily said once they’d arrived in the parlor.

They sat exactly as they had on his previous visit, only this time Peter was here as well. He sat on the floor, playing with Heidi. A tea tray had been placed on the table before them.

“You too.” He watched as she gracefully filled each of their cups and wondered what it might be like to have those elegant fingers slide over his skin. A hot shiver raked his spine and his muscles tightened. Best he avoid such musings if he was to keep his body under control.

“I realize it’s silly, but I really must ask.” She’d lowered her voice to a whisper. “Did I say or do something to offend you when last we met?”

Her question caught him completely off guard. “Of course not. Why would you think so?”

“It’s nothing. Forget I mentioned it.” The smile that followed looked slightly forced. Callum cursed himself. In staying away, he’d apparently given the wrong impression. He tried to think of a way to reassure her, but before he could find the right words, she asked, “So what have the two of you been doing this past week?”

“Nothing much,” Peter said. He jutted his chin toward Callum. “He’s been busy.”

“I see.” Lady Emily smoothed her skirt over her knees. “Hopefully with something more fun than tending to estate matters.”

He relaxed in response to the sly gleam that lit up her eyes when she met his gaze. This teasing banter felt better – more like them – comfortable and relaxing. “Unfortunately not. How about you?”

She took a deep breath. “The Earl of Millfield stopped by the day before last. He came without his mother this time and thankfully refrained from staying longer than an hour.”

“A potential suitor?” Callum forced the words out from behind gritted teeth. He’d not spared Millfield much thought when Lady Emily mentioned him stopping by with his mother. But if he’d returned without the marchioness, his intentions were clear.

“Mama and Papa have insisted I take him seriously but the very thought of living with him for the rest of my life is very off-putting.” She shook her head. “As expected, Mama and Papa would like to see me married. Thankfully, they also desire to see me happy, which is why they’ve assured me they won’t force my hand.”

“So you intend to deny Millfield the chance to court you?”

“It’s already done.”

Callum breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I believe you made the correct decision.”

She gave him a puzzled look and it occurred to him that he might have revealed too much.

“Really?” she asked.

He cleared his throat. “I mean, you obviously weren’t very keen on the man. After managing to avoid marriage as long as you have, it would be a shame for you to wed for the sake of wedding alone.”

Heidi yapped with playful enthusiasm and Peter’s responding laughter drew Lady Emily’s attention away from Callum for a second. She smiled, then collected her teacup, and said, “Marriage is the done thing. I believe that’s the primary incentive for most people.”

“It won’t be mine,” he told her without really thinking.

Her gaze snapped to his. She tilted her head and her expression, which had been curious at first, gave way to surprise. “You want a love match?”

“My mother has married for love twice now, so I know it’s possible.” When all she did was stare at him as though he’d just arrived from a different planet, he asked, “Are your parents aware that you and I have been spending time together?”

“Yes.” She drank from her cup as though she were trying to hide behind it.

This was interesting.

Could it be that he had misinterpreted her response toward him? Was it possible she might have more of an interest in him than he had believed? What if she was just as afraid of rejection as he was?

It was a topic that warranted exploration.

“And have they not questioned the reason for this?”

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. She lowered her teacup and brushed some invisible fuzz from her skirt. “They asked if we were courting. I told them we weren’t. Which is true. Is it not?”

“It is,” he confirmed, for what else could he say?

“We’re friends, you and I.” Her gaze was suddenly so intense it pierced him to the core. “I would never attempt to trap you, Your Grace. I like you too well to force you into a marriage of convenience with me.”

He didn’t like what her comment implied. The idea that she believed they’d be unhappy together was more upsetting than he’d thought possible. “I see.”

Needing to shift his thoughts to something besides Lady Emily and the havoc she’d brought to his very existence, Callum excused himself and went to join Peter. He didn’t care if it was considered improper for a duke to lie on the floor while a boy and a dog took turns leaping over his legs. All that mattered was the distraction it offered, however fleeting he knew it would be.

* * *

Emily watched Stratton play with Peter and Heidi while trying to pinpoint the moment when everything had gone sideways. They’d had a wonderful walk in the park, a lovely trip to the fair, and now this. Her heart sank. It felt as though there was an ocean between them and she couldn’t figure out why.

Again she wondered if she might have said something wrong.

She snatched up a biscuit and frowned while she ate it. His entire demeanor had changed when she’d mentioned not wanting to force him into a marriage of convenience. But hadn’t he just denied that there was anything more between them than friendship?

Had he wished to, he could have hinted at their outings potentially leading to courtship. Instead he’d confirmed a lack of interest in venturing down that path with her. She’d worried he might have taken her comment the wrong way and so, she’d said what she’d said.

If only she were brave enough to tell him how she felt and then deal with the chance that he might reject her. It would save her from constantly wondering over his words and the intonation with which he spoke, from analyzing the look in his eyes when he glanced at her, and the meaning behind the occasional touch.

She reached for her tea while wishing for a way to figure him out.

“Would you like to visit again tomorrow?” she asked when he and Peter prepared to leave.

“I’d love to,” Peter said, only for Stratton to give him a chastising frown.

“Thank you for the invitation,” said Stratton. “I’ll ask one of the footmen to bring Peter over.”

“Oh.” Emily stared at him while her heart quietly broke. He was turning her down. It couldn’t be clearer. She tried to smile but didn’t quite manage. “You won’t be joining him then?”

“I’m afraid I can’t afford to.”

They departed, leaving Emily behind with an awfully hollow sensation behind her breastbone.

“Is something troubling you?” Ada asked when Emily joined her and Harriet for tea a few days later. “You seem distracted again.”

“It’s nothing,” Emily assured her while doing her best to feign happiness.

“You also look tired,” Harriet said. “Have you not been sleeping well?”

“If you must know, I’ve been staying up later than usual in order to finish the book I’m currently reading.”

Ada smirked. “Are you sure it’s the book that’s keeping you from your sleep?”

“Do you know something I don’t?” Harriet asked. She sent Ada a curious look.

“Only that Anthony and I saw Emily with Stratton last week. They were at the fair together.”

“Were they really?” Harriet’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers. She shifted her attention back to Emily, giving her an expectant look.

Emily waved one hand in the hope of dismissing whatever suspicions her friends might have. “Stratton’s ward, Peter, lost his parents earlier this year. He’s been struggling with the mourning process. When I realized he’d taken an instant liking to Heidi, I suggested a walk so the two could spend more time together.”

“At the fair?” Harriet asked.

“No, this was prior to that.”

“So you’ve had several outings with Stratton,” Ada remarked.

“And Peter,” Emily pointed out. “Don’t give me that look. It was not several outings. It was two. Three if we count the walk. Plus a couple of visits for tea. As well as some letters. And a bouquet of flowers.”

She added the last part when both of her friends raised their eyebrows at the mention of letters and instantly regretted it when they began grinning like fools.

“Oh, Emily.” Ada reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m delighted on your behalf.”

Emily gave her a wary look. “What are you talking about?”

Ada glanced at Harriet. “She truly can’t see it, can she?”

Harriet shook her head while looking much too amused for Emily’s liking. “I don’t believe so.”

“You’re being courted.” Ada grinned. “And you don’t even know it.”

“No, I…I’m really not. Stratton and I are friends, Ada. That’s it. Nothing more.”

“If I were to hazard a guess, it’s not a book that has you distracted. It’s him. Isn’t it?”

“He’s not courting me,” Emily told them both firmly. “He made that much abundantly clear.”

“But you’d like him to,” Harriet murmured. “Am I right?”

“I…” Emily slumped. “What good does that do when he doesn’t want the same?”

“You say he brought you flowers?” When Emily nodded in response to Ada’s question, she asked, “What kind?”

“It was an original bouquet. Very colorful.”

“So he took time putting some thought into it.”

“I suppose. But only because I was clear about not wanting roses.” She shook her head. “He and I have always been at odds. We’ve a history of disastrous encounters with each other. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy spending time with him at all.”

“But you do,” Harriet said with a soft smile.

Emily nodded. “I must confess, I miss him when we’re apart. Unfortunately, our last meeting didn’t go well. He made no indication that he’d want to see me again when he left, so it’s fairly obvious to me that he does not feel the same as I do.”

“I think you’re mistaken,” Harriet said. When Emily gave her a dubious look, she explained, “He’s a duke, Emily. He’s aware of social rules and etiquette. If he wrote you letters, brought you flowers, walked with you in the park and took you to a fair while meeting you for tea in between, the man most assuredly has an interest in more than friendship with you.”

“It was for Peter’s benefit,” Emily told them. “He’s the reason Stratton got in touch with me in the first place.”

“Don’t be daft, Emily. Had that been the case there would not have been flowers. He’d have sent a maid with the boy for all those excursions, but he didn’t, did he?” When Emily shook her head, Harriet said, “Peter wants to spend time with Heidi, and that gave Stratton the chance to spend time with you.”

“I…” Emily blinked. Could that be true?

“He’s more reserved than Anthony and Brody,” Ada told Emily. “I doubt he’d reveal his affection for you unless he was certain of your affection for him.”

The conversation gave Emily much to consider once her friends left. She took care not to let herself get too excited in case they were wrong. Instead, she re-read the letters he’d sent her and thought back on their interactions, all while searching for clues. Eventually, she gave up in favor of reading, no wiser now than she’d been that morning. If anything, she was much more confused.

And then the letter from Seaton Hall arrived the next morning, announcing an unexpected decline in her grandmother’s health.

“Have the carriage readied,” Papa told Larrow. “We’ll depart as soon as we’ve finished breaking our fast.”

“Will you join us?” Mama asked Emily. Her voice cracked just enough to reveal what a terrible blow this was to her. She and her mother had always been close. With the viscountess not yet older than five and sixty, the idea she might soon die had come as a shock.

“Of course,” Emily promised. She loved Grandmama dearly and couldn’t imagine not saying goodbye. “I’ll go and ready myself.”

They set off within the hour and made good time with the team of six horses Papa had requested. The journey took little more than an hour before the estate where Mama had grown up came into view. Emily had last visited over the summer, during which Grandmama had appeared to be in excellent health. She’d served them lemonade on the terrace and had even engaged in a game of pall mall with Emily and her cousins. She’d also come to London once a month since then so she could participate in the book club Emily ran.

Sadly, the woman Emily found when Grandpapa showed them all to her Grandmama’s chamber, bore no resemblance to the energetic woman Emily had known. In her place was someone so frail she didn’t appear to have the strength required to last the night.

It was the most heartbreaking thing Emily had ever witnessed.

Mama choked back a sob as she went to her mother’s bedside. She perched there on the edge of the mattress and clasped her slim hand.

Apparently, a fit of some sort had occurred the previous evening. As a result, Grandmama could no longer move the left side of her body. Her speech was unclear, and the attending physicians were not optimistic. They claimed it had put a terrible strain on her heart.

“She’d like to speak with you,” Mama told Emily once she was finished.

Emily swallowed and approached the bed at a slow tread. If only Stratton were here with her now, supporting her as he’d done when he’d saved her from that horse. She needed him in this moment if only to tell her that she could get through this and that he’d be there for her after.

Having reached the bed, she did what she could to stay strong for Grandmama’s sake. It would not do for her to break down in tears, yet keeping them at bay was a struggle. Her eyes stung and a painful knot had formed in her throat.

“You…mustn’t…weep,” Grandmama murmured while slurring each word. “It’s…life. Love…and…loss. Can’t have one with…without the other.”

“It’s much too soon,” Emily croaked. Leaning forward, she hugged the older woman while taking care not to hurt her. The tears she spilled dampened the sheets. “I’m not ready to let you go.”

“These shifts in life…will be easier…once you marry. My only regret. Not a single grandchild wed.”

Emily straightened so she could meet her grandmother’s gaze. “It’s not so simple.”

“You just…need to find the right man.” The bleakness in Grandmama’s eyes was distressing. “You should have…done so by now.”

Troubled by the energy Grandmama seemed to require to get the words out, Emily tried to convince her to rest, but the old woman would hear nothing of it. Her eyes had sharpened and though she looked like she lay at death’s door, it was clear now that she had a final battle to win before she made her departure.

“Think of the future,” she pressed. “Time…is fleeting. You’re… two-and-twenty…but you’ve never been courted.”

“That’s not true,” Emily blurted for no other purpose than to appease an old woman and give her some peace. “I…I’m being courted right now.”

Grandmama snorted. “There’s no need to lie just to...make me happy.”

“I’m not lying,” Emily told her, digging herself into deeper trouble. “In fact, I’m fairly sure I’m about to become engaged.”

What was the harm in giving an old woman joy?

“To whom?” Grandmama asked with interest.

Emily didn’t hesitate. “The Duke of Stratton.”

“Ha.” The old woman actually managed what looked like a tiny laugh, if the twitch at the edge of her mouth was anything to go by. “He’s not…the marrying sort.”

“People change,” Emily insisted.

Grandmama merely sighed. “Forgive me. All this…talking has worn me out. I…need to rest.”

“Of course.” Emily gave her hand a squeeze and dropped a kiss to her brow. She then retreated from her grandmother’s bedside. When she met one of the doctors outside in the hallway, she asked, “How long do you think she has left?”

“It’s hard to say. Could be as much as a couple of weeks or as little as two or three days. Depends on her will to live, I suppose.”

Emily nodded as those words sank in. If the doctor was right, she might just have enough time to fulfill her grandmother’s dying wish.