Chapter 24

Harriet was in hell. There was no other way to describe the ordeal Brody’s mother was putting her through. It was so exhausting, she almost looked back on the bedridden night she’d spent in his home with longing. At least she’d been able to rest then.

Now her days were spent at the modiste’s. She’d been fitted for not just one, two, or even three dresses, but twenty. This was the number of gowns her future mother-in-law insisted on Harriet having at her disposal. Less wouldn’t do, not even when Harriet argued that Brody couldn’t afford it.

“Don’t worry,” the duchess said. A sly smirk followed. “I’ll pay.”

Apparently she had her own funds. She’d also made it clear that Harriet mustn’t argue. So she hadn’t. Except when the duchess had voiced her disapproval of Harriet’s hair and suggested they order a wig. Harriet had drawn the line there but went along with everything else.

After all, despite feeling like an overused doll, she was grateful. Especially when she saw the positive effect the wedding plans had on Lucy. She marveled at everything, from the softness of the dresses ordered for her as well, to the sweetmeats she received one afternoon as a treat, to the music lessons the duchess provided.

Everything was either “brilliant” or “smashing”.

Harriet had no cause for regret. Why would she when she was to marry a duke?

In truth, she was thrilled.

At least for the most part.

“I believe I’ll go for a walk,” she told the duchess one day after breakfast. What she longed for was some time alone, away from all the fuss.

“Where to?” asked the duchess. “Maybe I’ll join you.”

“Um…” She sent Lucy a frantic look and prayed her sister would come to her rescue in one way or other.

“I was hoping you’d help me with the piece you’ve been teaching me how to play.” Lucy gave the duchess a wide smile. “It’s so much easier when you show me than when I practice alone.”

“All right.” It was clear that she had no desire to disappoint Lucy. Brody’s mother was a lovely woman. It was shocking to know that the two hadn’t spoken in over two years. She glanced at Harriet. “I’m afraid you’ll have to go alone then. Just make sure to take Fiona with you as chaperone.”

Harriet agreed and set off with the maid soon after.

“I plan to call on a friend,” she said to Fiona as they strolled. “The house isn’t far.”

They soon arrived at Emily’s home where the butler showed them to the library.

“Look up,” said the butler when Harriet failed to locate her friend. Emily was standing on a ladder, checking books against a list. Harriet thanked the butler for his assistance and he departed.

“What are you up to?” Harriet asked Emily as she moved toward her.

“Rearranging things to make space for the twenty volumes of the encyclopedia I gave Papa for his birthday.”

“The one Ada bound?”

“The very same.” Emily grabbed a couple of books and descended the ladder. “You’re looking well. It would seem that being engaged to a duke suits you.”

Harriet forced a smile. “Perfectly so.

Emily frowned and glanced at Fiona, who’d remained near the doorway. “Why don’t you go and enjoy some tea and biscuits downstairs in the kitchen? Miss Michaels will call you when she’s ready to leave.”

“Of course.” The maid bobbed a curtsey and left.

Emily took Harriet’s hand and led her to a nearby sofa. “Now tell me the truth. Something’s troubling you. What is it? How can I help?”

Harriet wasn’t sure where to begin. The last thing she wished was to sound ungrateful.

She took a seat “I…”

“Yes?” Emily pressed as she sat beside her.

Harried sighed and relaxed against the sofa. “It’s slightly stifling. I’m accustomed to venturing out on my own, to being productive. But now…”

“Planning a wedding is not as rewarding?”

“I realize it sounds ridiculous. Most working-class women would leap at the chance to switch places with me. And I’m grateful for what I have – for this marvelous opportunity. I’m not unhappy, I simply wish there were more freedom. Emily, I feel like I’m constantly being watched, either by servants or by Brody’s mother, who’s wonderful by the way. But I honestly need a moment alone.”

Emily chuckled. “Why do you think I started the book club, or rented a room in which to host it so none of the members would have to come here? Because I too was in need of escape.”

Harriet propped her elbow on the armrest and leaned her head against her hand. “I haven’t even seen or heard from Brody since leaving his home on Thursday.”

“I’m sure he’s busy with his own wedding preparations.”

“Everyone is. I’m already sick of it and there are still more than two weeks to go before he and I say our vows.”

“Harriet?” Emily took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you having second thoughts about marrying him?”

Harriet swallowed. She’d started wondering the very same thing. Were it not for Lucy…

“I fear he’s making a terrible mistake out of some misplaced sense of duty.” And because of Lucy, she was too much of a coward to stop him.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he proposed in order to save me from ruin.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever.”

“How can you say that when you know the particulars pertaining to my relationship with him? You know we were found in bed together and that—”

“You needn’t go over it all again,” Emily said. “I read the letter you sent me. The detail was noteworthy.”

“Then you must surely see that he had no choice. He’s only marrying me so my name won’t be sullied.”

Much to Harriet’s surprise, Emily smiled with a hint of humor. “I truly think you’re making an issue of something that’s hardly an issue at all.”

Harriet stared at her friend. “What are you saying?”

Emily bit her lip. She eyed Harriet carefully before saying, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not…known. Your presence in Corwin’s home would not have been of much interest to anyone.”

“I’m an unmarried gentlewoman.”

“Who’s never been out in Society. That maid could have shouted her gossip from the rooftops, but the truth is, no one would have batted an eyelid.”

“But…” Harriet dropped her gaze to her lap. Was Emily right? It was true that she hadn’t been introduced to the ton. Papa had died before she’d had the chance. And Betsy hadn’t known her real name. She’d only known her surname - a fairly common one unlikely to draw attention. She glanced at Emily. “Brody insisted marriage was necessary.”

“I would advise you to ask yourself why that might be.” When Harriet gave her an expectant look, Emily simply grinned. “Think about it.”

“You won’t tell me?”

“It’s only a suspicion for now so I’d rather not say. Besides, if I’m right, you’ll be glad you worked it out on your own.”

Harriet gave her head a quick shake and stood. “Very well. I’ll heed your advice and give it some thought. In the meantime, I wonder if you might help with something. It’s impossible for me to go anywhere or do anything without others hovering over me. It’s awful, having been used to roam about by myself for so long.”

“Do you want to pretend you’re still here while sneaking off elsewhere?”

“Just for an hour or so while I visit Hudson Co. I’ve not had a chance to return there, and it’s been gnawing at my conscience. The men I worked with were more than colleagues. They were my friends. I’d like to tell them what happened and inform them of the church service in case they’d like to attend.”

“Are you certain that’s wise? You mustn’t forget that they knew you as Harry. Arriving as Harriet could make them angry. Especially if they said things to you that they’d never have said to a woman.”

It was one of the many reasons why Brody had gotten upset. Still, she felt an obligation toward Mr. Hudson and Oliver at the very least. It wasn’t right to disappear despite knowing Mr. Hudson had actively tried to replace her. Stopping by and personally apologizing to the man who’d been so very good to her was the least she could do.

“I’m aware, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

“Very well then. As long as you won’t be too long.”

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

Harriet hugged her friend and departed through the back garden without Fiona being the wiser. She hurried along the streets, not halting to catch her breath until she arrived at her destination.

There she paused and allowed herself a moment to pluck up her courage. Her hands were clammy and her pulse leapt about like a crazed rabbit. Straightening her spine with sheer determination, she stiffened her resolve and entered Hudson Co.

The editors sitting nearest the door stared at her in surprise, whether because they recognized her or because they didn’t expect a lady’s arrival, she’d no idea. She’d not known any of them very well, so it could be the latter.

Her gaze went directly to Mr. Hudson, who sat in his usual spot. He was writing something as she approached and must have caught her movement out of the corner of his eye, for he suddenly looked directly at her. There was a pause, as though his brain required a second to adjust to what he was seeing, and then he took a sharp breath. “Harry?”

She smiled. An anxious laugh followed as she clutched the reticule she’d brought along. “It’s actually Harriet.”

“But…” He blinked and then he shot to his feet. “How?”

“I’m a woman, Mr. Hudson. Not a boy or a man. I just pretended so I would get hired.” She glanced toward the print room door. “I’m sorry I deceived you. I’m also sorry I let you down by getting sick.”

“People get sick. It happens. Not really anyone’s fault, but that still doesn’t mean I could keep the position vacant.” He scratched the back of his head while looking her up and down. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

Brody had wondered the same, Harriet mused. As had Oliver. “People see what they expect, I suppose. It’s what I was counting on when I chose the disguise.”

“I’m still rather stumped.”

“You’re not angry with me?”

“Not really. I mean, I suppose you did lie, but had you not done so I probably wouldn’t have hired you. And that would have been my loss, Harr…err…Miss Michaels. You’re the finest compositor I’ve ever had. The new bloke I hired can’t hold a candle to your skill and speed. Oliver’s beside himself with annoyance.”

“I’m sorry to hear it.”

“Honestly, I don’t see how we’ll ever get that blasted book printed on time when he keeps making mistakes.” Mr. Hudson eyed her with a shrewd look. “I don’t suppose…”

“What?”

“Nah…” He waved his hand dismissively. “Forget it. It was merely a thought. A foolish one at that.”

“I’d still like to hear it,” Harriet said.

He smiled broadly. “I was only going to ask if you’d like to come back, but judging from the way you’re dressed, I daresay your luck has changed and you no longer need the earnings.”

“I’m to marry,” she informed him. “Mr. Evans has made me an offer and I have accepted.”

Mr. Hudson whistled and rocked back on his heels. “Has he now?”

“We’d love for you to attend the service if you’re able. It will be at St. George’s. Two weeks from this coming Saturday, ten o’clock.”

“I’ll be there.” He pursed his lips. “You should know that Mr. Evans did what he could to convince me to keep you on. I’m sorry to say that I just couldn’t risk it. I—”

The print room door opened and Oliver appeared. “Apologies for the interruption, Mr. Hudson, but…Harriet?”

Mr. Hudson glanced between them. “You knew of her disguise?”

“I, um…” A deep shade of red tainted Oliver’s cheeks. “I found out by chance.”

“On account of something I said,” Harriet hastened to add. “A silly mistake.”

“Right.” Mr. Hudson nodded in Oliver’s direction. “What did you wish to tell me?”

Oliver blinked. “Oh. Just that George got angry when I insisted he try and work faster. Words were spoken and he left.”

“He left?”

“I realize I probably shouldn’t have called him an imbecile. I take the blame for that. But honestly, Mr. Hudson, considering all the mistakes he’s made, we’d have been better off if I both read and placed the sorts. Would have taken the same amount of time, but at least it would have been accurate.”

Mr. Hudson muttered a curse. “Do that for now and I’ll try to find a solution.”

“I can help for a bit,” Harriet offered. “I’ve got about fifteen minutes, give or take. Should be enough for at least one page.”

“Brilliant.” Oliver beamed. “Please let her do it, Mr. Hudson.”

“Of course, I’ll let her do it,” Mr. Hudson said. “I’m keen on success, not failure. But what about Mr. Evans? What will he say to this?”

“Mr. Evans?” Oliver asked.

“My fiancé,” Harriet explained.

Oliver grinned. “Congratulations, Harriet. That’s smashing news. When’s the big day?”

“Two weeks from Saturday, ten o’clock at St. George’s. You’re invited to attend.”

“And I’ll be welcome? Looking like this?” He sent her a toothy grin.

She chuckled. “It wouldn’t hurt for you to wash and put on a set of clean clothes for the occasion. Now, if you want my help, we’d best get started. I’ve got to go soon.”

“It’s bloody good to have you back,” Oliver told her as he led the way to the print room where James and Matthew were adding paper to the press. “Look who’s here!”

“A woman?” James asked.

“No, you nitwit. It’s Harry, otherwise known as Miss Harriet Michaels.”

“You’re having us on,” Matthew said in open dismay.

James stared her up and down. “The face is the same. I actually think it is Harry.”

“Except she’s not really Harry but Harriet. A woman,” Oliver said as though he himself had transformed her with a magical trick.

Matthew frowned. “You must have thought we were daft.”

“Not at all,” said Harriet. “You saw what I intended for you to see. No one knew.”

“We talked about stuff we’d never have mentioned to you, had we known.” Much like Brody, James looked both angry and hurt. “Good lord, we gave you pointers on how to bed women.”

“I realize that, and I’m sorry. If it helps in any way, I didn’t mind it. On the contrary, I enjoyed the camaraderie I found in your company. You made me feel like I was part of the group.”

“Because we thought you were one of us,” James insisted. “Only you weren’t. You were an imposter pretending to be something you’re not. A spy for the other side.”

“What?”

“Let’s focus on what’s important,” Oliver interrupted. “George is rubbish but Harriet’s here, willing to lend a hand for a spell. Can we please take advantage of that before she’s got to be on her way?”

“Fine,” James grumbled. Turning, he gave her his back and proceeded to fit the printing frame with a new sheet of paper.

She glanced at Matthew but he only shook his head and went to help James. Maybe coming back had been a mistake. Trudging across the floor, she returned to her familiar spot. She surveyed the table and all of the drawers containing the sorts while Oliver perched on the stool beside her.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready,” Oliver confirmed.

He proceeded to read while she set the type, her movements as swift and precise as always. The first compositing stick was placed in the form, then the next and the one after that. Harriet crafted the frame around the sticks then began filling the empty spaces between them and the edge of the form with pieces of wood so they wouldn’t budge.

The door to the print room swung open before she’d finished. She glanced up and instantly froze as her gaze collided with Brody’s.

He did not look the least bit pleased, but there was little she could do about that at the moment. She bowed her head and continued working. “We’re almost done. If you’ll—”

“Everyone out.” His voice was dangerously low. “I need to speak with Miss Michaels. Alone.”

“Can’t you—”

“Now,” Brody insisted, cutting James off.

Oliver crossed his arms. “You don’t work here anymore, Mr. Evans. You’ve no authority over us.”

Brody’s jaw tightened. “Perhaps not. But I am the Duke of Corwin, and as such, I’m asking you to let me speak with my future wife in private.”

Harriet stared at Brody. She’d not expected him to use his title as leverage, but it seemed to be working. She stiffened as James, Matthew, and even Oliver filed from the room. The door closed and Harriet forced herself to face the man who promised her everything with one exception.

Love wasn’t part of the bargain.

“What the bloody hell, Harriet?” Brody fumed before she managed to say anything. He waved his hand and she saw that he held a bouquet of pink roses. “You forced me to scold my mother’s maid for letting you give her the slip. And don’t even get me started on Lady Emily, your co-conspirator.”

“You mustn’t blame either. It wasn’t their fault.”

He stared at her, his expression baffled. “Why would you run off like that?”

“Because I wanted to go for a walk. By myself. As I’ve been accustomed to doing for quite some time.”

“It isn’t safe, Harriet. In Mayfair it might be but not in this part of the city.” He swallowed hard and she saw that he was not so much angry as he was distressed. “You were attacked not too far from here, or have you forgotten?”

“That was—”

“By thugs who thought you were male. I dare not even imagine what such men would do to a beautiful woman.” The compliment made her a little dizzy. She’d known he found her attractive – irresistibly so – but to hear him say it was rather lovely. He shook his head. “If you wanted to come here I would have gladly provided the escort.”

“I thought you were too busy.” When he gave her a blank look she said, “I’ve not seen as much as your shadow since leaving your home five days ago, Brody.”

“I’ve been busy tending to my ledgers, correspondence, and selling off items I don’t need so we can be comfortable. It’s important to me that you have your own maid as well as a horse to ride, should that strike your fancy.”

Her heart melted and she reached for his hand. “I don’t need any of that.”

“You’ll be the Duchess of Corwin. Anything less would be unacceptable.”

She sighed. “You know, we don’t have to marry.”

“What?” The word was so tightly spoken it sounded as though it might crack.

“I believe this wedding is proving a huge inconvenience to you.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

How positively unromantic. She averted her gaze and fiddled with her skirt while trying to hide the pain in her heart. This marriage would happen for practical reasons alone, and while she’d initially thought she had the strength to go through with it, further reflection had made her realize she didn’t. She couldn’t marry a man she loved unless he loved her in return.

Oh, Lucy. I pray you forgive me.

“As much as I appreciate your willingness to save me from ruin, I’ve realized it’s not at all necessary.”

“Not necessary,” he sputtered. “But, Harriet, we discussed this. Betsy saw us together. In bed and with your nightgown almost up to your waist. Of course we have to marry.”

“I disagree. A scandal would only occur if I were a noteworthy person. But I’m not, so no one will care.”

“I will.” His sharply spoken remark snapped her gaze back to his. Blue eyes, brimming with some sort of furious passion, pinned her. He tossed the bouquet of roses aside, scattering petals all over the floor, then grabbed her by the shoulders. “You told me you love me. Or was that also a lie?”

“Of course not.” How could he think so?

Incomprehension burned in his eyes as he bowed his head and leaned in, bringing his face within one inch of hers. “Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s that…” She shook her head. He would not make her say it.

“This makes no sense.” He retreated a step. “Is this about my disapproval of your coming here unescorted?”

“No.”

He studied her before asking, “Do you want to continue working. Is that it? When I arrived, Mr. Hudson asked if such an arrangement might be possible, and I assured him that I would discuss it with you. Of course, you would have to accept the ton’s disapproval, but as duchess, I’m confident you’ll manage.”

How could she not love him? “Your generosity means more to me than you can imagine.”

“All I want is to make you happy.”

“I know, but I don’t think marrying me will achieve that.”

“Why not?” The look he gave her was one of outrage and, she realized a second too late, unvarnished anguish. He looked like a puppy she’d kicked in the stomach. “If you love me as you claim, then why don’t you want to spend the rest of your life with me as much as I want to spend the rest of my life with you? It’s all I’ve been thinking of since we last parted – the joy I will find in loving you with every beat of my heart, but you’re…you’re crushing me, Harriet, and I don’t understand why.”

“Oh, Brody.” The anguish in his voice was too much. She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him to her, holding him close with all her might. “I didn’t realize. Forgive me. I thought your only motivation for marriage was duty.”

“But I told you how I felt.” He broke away from her and searched her face. “Didn’t I?”

She shook her head. “You showed me through actions, not words. But I was blinded by the hurt I felt when I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back. It stopped me from paying attention to what truly mattered.”

“Then let me be perfectly clear with you, Harriet Michaels.” He pulled her into his arms and nudged her chin with his hand, tilting her head back until their eyes met. “I love you. Desperately. More than I ever believed I would love another soul.”

“I love you too,” she managed, right before he crushed her mouth with his in a searing kiss that threatened to set her on fire.