Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Winston sat on the settee in his bedchamber, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. It was so tempting to drink and forget his burdens. But no matter how much he drank, he couldn’t forget Johnny and the look that was on his face when his mother was hanging right in front of him.

Why had he ever agreed to take that blasted case?

He already knew the reasons. He was trying to establish himself as a barrister, and it seemed like a straightforward case. Yet, his actions caused the taking of someone’s life.

Winston tilted the bottle towards him. He wanted to forget. No, he needed to forget. Ever since that fateful day, he found himself retreating from the life that he once knew. He felt as if he didn’t deserve all the accolades that he had been given.

The room was silent except for the ticking of the clock on the mantel. Winston stared at the amber liquid in the bottle, his thoughts drifting back to the courtroom. The memory of Clara’s trial haunted him. The evidence seemed clear, leaving no doubt of her guilt. But now, in the dim light of his room, every detail felt twisted, every decision wrong. He had trusted the judicial system, but he had destroyed a boy’s life in the process.

The guilt gnawed at him, a relentless ache that no amount of whiskey could dull. He had always prided himself on his ability to separate his work from his emotions, to remain detached and objective. But this case had shattered that illusion.

The idea of leaving it all behind and focusing on his sheep farm was a tempting escape. He could envision the simplicity of that life, which was a stark contrast to the demanding world of law. But even as he considered it, he knew it wasn’t a solution. Running away wouldn’t change the past or absolve him of his mistakes.

He sighed, placing the bottle on the table beside him. Winston’s thoughts turned again to Mattie. She had always been there, a thorn in his side and yet a source of comfort. Their relationship was complicated, filled with banter and disagreements, but beneath it all, there was a connection he couldn’t deny.

Despite her exasperating ways, he was drawn to Mattie. He remembered the way she had looked at him on their carriage ride, her eyes full of determination and understanding. She had a way of seeing through his defenses and reaching the parts of him that he tried to keep hidden.

Winston knew he couldn’t hide from his past or his responsibilities. He had to confront his demons, face the consequences of his choices, and find a way to make amends.

But where did he even start?

With a heavy heart, he rose from the settee and crossed the room to the window. The afternoon sun burned brightly, filling the room with an uncomfortable contrast to his inner turmoil. All he wanted to feel was darkness surrounding him. That was what he deserved.

A knock came at the door .

“Enter,” he ordered.

The door was opened, and Grady stepped into the room. “A word, my lord?” he asked, not bothering to wait for a reply before closing the door behind him.

Winston found himself curious as to why the Bow Street Runner had sought him out, knowing it came at great risk to his disguise as a footman.

Grady walked further into the room. “I received word from Jasper.”

Turning to face the Bow Street Runner, Winston asked, “Is my Aunt Sarah all right?”

The Bow Street Runner nodded. “Yes, but a man fitting Isaac’s description has been seen in the village. We must be extra vigilant at this time.”

Winston felt a cold dread settle in his stomach. Isaac’s presence could only mean trouble for them. “I will inform my father that Isaac might be calling upon him soon.”

Grady looked serious. “From what Jasper told me about Isaac, he does not seem like a man that will go away without a fight.”

“Let us hope that isn’t the case,” Winston said. “I will inform White of this development and insist the footmen are prepared for whatever may come.”

“Very good,” Grady responded as he headed towards the door. He stopped and turned back around. “I thought you might be interested in knowing that Miss Bawden has arrived with her father. They are currently in the drawing room.”

Winston attempted to keep his face expressionless. “Why would that concern me?” he asked.

Grady looked amused. “My apologies, my lord,” he said, not seeming very repentant at all.

As Grady departed from the room, Winston was left alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t deny the sudden flutter of anticipation at the news of Mattie’s arrival. Despite the grave situation with Isaac, the thought of seeing Mattie brought a flicker of warmth to his otherwise troubled heart.

With a deep breath, he made his way to the drawing room. He had only seen Mattie a short time ago when they had gone on the carriage ride, but that hardly mattered to him, especially with their new understanding. They were going to attempt to be friends once more. Was that even possible?

Winston paused briefly at the drawing room door, composing himself before entering. When he stepped inside, his gaze immediately sought out Mattie.

“Mattie,” he greeted. “I was made to understand that your father had accompanied you here.”

She smiled, and now the room was brighter because of it. “He is meeting with your father,” she explained.

“Ah, that would make sense,” Winston said, suddenly feeling very foolish for coming down to greet Mattie. “I am sure my mother will be here shortly.”

“I expect so, as well,” Mattie responded.

Winston felt nervous, and he was never nervous. Not around Mattie or anyone. Why was she causing such a reaction in him? “It is a nice day we are having, is it not?”

Mattie bobbed her head. “Yes, quite nice.”

Winston found himself at a loss for words as an awkward silence stretched between them. He took a step closer, searching for something meaningful to say. “I trust you found the journey pleasant?”

“It was uneventful, which I suppose is a good thing,” she replied. “I would have preferred to walk, but my father was insistent that we take the coach.”

“As he well should, since he is a viscount now,” Winston said.

Mattie’s smile dimmed. “Do not remind me.”

Winston cocked his head. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked .

She waved a dismissive hand in front of her. “I do not wish to burden you with my troubles.”

“It is no trouble at all,” Winston replied. “I thought we were going to at least attempt to be friends.”

A look of uncertainty crossed Mattie’s features before she shared, “I recently learned that my housekeeper, Mrs. Watson, will not be joining us at Darlington Abbey. She is going to remain behind and tend to the cottage for the new vicar.”

“Does Darlington Abbey not have its own housekeeper?” he asked.

Mattie clasped her hands in front of her, the gesture betraying her emotions. “Yes, but I have known Mrs. Watson for most of my life. She is more than a servant to me. She is a dear friend.”

“I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you,” Winston acknowledged.

Letting out a deep sigh, Mattie continued, her voice tinged with sorrow. “To add to my misery, I am not quite sure how to help my younger cousin. She is struggling since losing her parents.”

“All while you are still grieving their loss as well,” Winston observed.

“Yes, but my grief seems inconsequential compared to Franny’s,” Mattie shared.

Winston took a step closer to her, but still maintained a proper distance. “Why is that?”

Mattie’s brows knitted together. “Franny lost both of her parents,” she replied. “I merely lost an aunt and uncle.”

“I hadn’t realized that it was a contest on who had a right to grieve more,” Winston responded gently.

“It’s not, but…” Her words trailed off, her gaze dropping to the ground. “I can’t seem to focus on my own grief, knowing how much pain Franny is in.”

Winston crossed his arms over his chest. “Why does that burden fall upon you?”

“Because my father is dealing with the loss of his brother and the daunting prospect of running an estate,” Mattie said, her voice heavy with responsibility. “I do not wish to burden him any more than he already is.”

“What of your sister, Miss Emma?” he inquired.

Mattie huffed. “I fear that Emma will only make the situation worse since she is rather self-absorbed,” she said. “She should be arriving tomorrow.”

Winston studied her, noting the weariness in her eyes and the rigidness in her stance. “I have known you for a long time, and I have no doubt that you will weather this storm and do so spectacularly.”

Mattie gave him a small, rueful smile. “You are far too confident in my abilities.”

“I have always admired your strength, Mattie,” he admitted earnestly. “You are not one to sit by and let life pass you by. You are determined to live your life, on your terms, even if that means you throw a mallet or two.”

She laughed, a genuine sound that did inconvenient things to his heart. “I have only thrown a mallet at you before.”

“So you admit that you were aiming at me?” he asked with a teasing smile.

Not looking the least bit repentant, she replied, “I was, but that is only because you cheated at pall-mall.”

Winston let out an exasperated sigh. “Not this again,” he said. “We were not playing a game when I moved my ball.”

“I didn’t move mine,” Mattie remarked, her tone playful.

“You didn’t need to,” Winston pointed out. “Regardless, it might be best, for the sake of our friendship, if we let that matter drop and agree that we did not see eye to eye.”

Mattie considered him for a long moment, her eyes searching his. “I will agree, but only because I would very much like to be friends with you again.”

“Good, because I think we are better as friends,” Winston said. “And I do not want to be hit by a mallet again. It rather hurt.”

She laughed again, the sound softening the tension between them. “I promise I will not throw a mallet at you ever again… even if you deserve it,” she responded, her eyes dancing with mischief.

Winston grinned. “Thank you. That is very reassuring.”

They stood there for a moment, watching each other, but Winston was not in a hurry to fill the silence with useless chatter. In Mattie’s presence, he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time—reprieve. The weight of his burdens seemed to lighten, if only for a moment. It was as if Mattie had the power to chase away the shadows that had been plaguing him.

An adorable blush crept up Mattie’s cheeks, and she dropped her gaze. “I wonder what is keeping your mother,” she offered.

“I shall go find out.”

“Thank you,” she responded.

As he walked to the door, he stopped and turned back around. “Mattie, I… I want you to know that I am here for you,” he said. “Whatever you need, whatever support I can offer, you have it.”

Mattie met his gaze. “That is most kind of you to say, Winston.”

He held her gaze for a moment longer than what was considered proper before he departed from the drawing room. He didn’t know what had transpired between them, but he felt it was a promising step towards rekindling their friendship.

As he stepped into the entry hall, he saw Elodie was standing by the door. He lifted his brow. “Dare I ask what you are doing?”

Elodie smiled broadly, her expression far too mischievous to be innocent. “I was just standing here, doing nothing in particular,” she said. “And I most assuredly was not listening to your conversation with Mattie. ”

Winston shook his head at his sister’s antics as he went in search of his mother.

Mattie dropped down onto the settee, her mind swirling with confusion over what had just transpired between her and Winston. He was starting to be vulnerable around her once more, and that worried her. He was showing her a side that he rarely showed. It was the side that she had once fallen for and kissed.

But no good would come from kissing Winston ever again.

They were attempting to be friends, and she found she needed a friend now more than ever.

Elodie entered the room with a bemused look. “What, pray tell, is going on between you and my brother?”

“Nothing,” Mattie said, attempting to sound nonchalant. “Why do you ask?”

Walking closer to the settee, Elodie replied, “Well, I was standing outside the door listening…”

“That is a fancy way of saying you were eavesdropping.”

“… yes, I was, but I heard the most distressing thing.” Elodie paused dramatically. “Winston complimented you.”

Mattie laughed. “Is that all?”

Elodie’s brow shot up in disbelief. “Is that all?” she repeated. “You two hate one another.”

“Hate is such a strong word.”

“Well, am I wrong?” Elodie pressed.

Mattie straightened in her seat, taking a deep breath. “It is true we disliked one another, but we decided to call a truce,” she explained. “We are attempting to become friends once more.”

“Friends?” Elodie repeated, her tone incredulous. “Surely you jest. You two could hardly be in the same room just a few days ago.”

“You make a good argument, but we have found all the fighting to be rather tiresome,” Mattie replied.

Elodie started pacing, her steps quick and agitated. “I do not like this. Not one bit.”

Mattie was afraid she wasn’t going to like the answer, but she decided to ask anyways. “Why is that?”

“You and Winston not liking one another was constant. I could plan on it,” Elodie said, her pacing never ceasing. “But you two being friends, that is not good.”

“Why is it not good? Shouldn’t you be happy that we are trying to get along?” Mattie asked.

Elodie stopped pacing and faced Mattie, her expression serious and full of concern. “Because if you two become friends, or worse, something more, it could complicate everything.”

Mattie shook her head. “We are just trying to be friends. Nothing more.”

“I hope that is true, for both of your sakes,” Elodie stated. “I don’t want either of you two to get hurt.”

“You are overthinking this, Elodie,” Mattie insisted.

Elodie tossed her hands up. “Or you are under thinking this!”

Mattie rose from her seat and approached her friend. “I appreciate your concern, but it is unfounded,” she said. “Winston and I have a long way to go just to be friends.”

“You certainly appeared friendly only a moment ago,” Elodie muttered.

“Appearances can be deceiving, especially when you are eavesdropping,” Mattie teased. “Winston was only trying to comfort me during this difficult time.”

Elodie didn’t look convinced. “It seemed more than that, but I shall take you at your word.”

“Thank you,” Mattie said.

As she uttered her words, Lady Dallington stepped into the room with Melody trailing behind.

“I do apologize for the delay, but Melody and I were looking over the new gowns that we had commissioned for the Season,” Lady Dallington said. “Mrs. Harper has outdone herself.”

Mattie ran a hand down her gray gown. “I am still waiting for the mourning gowns to be delivered, so I wore the darkest-colored dress I own.”

“I have no doubt that Mrs. Harper and her seamstresses are working on them this very minute,” Lady Dallington assured her.

“I do hope so,” Mattie said. “I do not want anyone to think that we are forgoing the mourning period.”

“I do not think anyone is concerned with that, considering the news is only just spreading around the village,” Lady Dallington remarked. “Everyone knows it takes time for gowns to be made.”

Melody walked across the room and sat down on the settee. “When is Emma set to arrive?”

“She should be arriving tomorrow,” Mattie replied. “Father intends to hire a governess to see to Emma’s education once we arrive at Darlington Abbey.”

Lady Dallington nodded in approval. “As she is a daughter of a viscount, it is expected that he should retain a governess.”

“I do hope the governess can handle Emma,” Mattie said. “She can be rather headstrong and obstinate.”

Elodie giggled. “That does sound like someone we know,” she remarked with a knowing look at Mattie.

Mattie smiled. “Yes, well, I do have strong opinions, but my sister seems to have delusions of grandeur.”

“Then she will fit in well amongst high Society,” Lady Dallington remarked.

A maid stepped into the room with a tea service, setting it carefully on the table in front of Melody. “Would you like me to pour, my lady?”

Melody offered her a kind smile. “No, thank you. I shall pour.” She leaned forward to retrieve the teapot. As she began to pour the tea, she asked, “How old is Emma now?”

“Emma is six and ten years old,” Mattie responded.

“I do not know why she cannot return to her boarding school until she is presented at Court,” Melody suggested. “We remained at our boarding school, despite Father inheriting his title.”

Lady Dallington settled gracefully into a chair beside Melody. “That was only because you had four months left of your schooling and you both refused to return home.”

Elodie bobbed her head. “I am grateful that we went away to boarding school rather than be taught by a stuffy governess.”

“Not all governesses are stuffy,” Lady Dallington countered. “It is imperative to find the right fit.”

Melody poured four cups of tea and distributed them with practiced ease. “I made many long-lasting friendships from my time at our boarding school.”

“Yes, including Josephine,” Lady Dallington said. “You two are prolific writers to one another.”

Elodie furrowed her brow. “Who is Josephine?”

Melody waved a dismissive hand in front of her. “You remember Josephine. She was there for our first year but left shortly thereafter.”

“No, I don’t recall her,” Elodie responded. “What did she look like?”

“She was tall, with dark hair, and unassuming,” Melody said. “I am not surprised you don’t remember her since she kept to herself.”

Elodie took a thoughtful sip of her tea. “That is odd, considering we spent so much time with one another.”

Melody did not appear concerned. “I’m sure you will remember her when we see her during the Season.”

“I guess so,” Elodie muttered.

Turning towards Mattie, Melody said, “We are being completely rude to our guest. We haven’t even asked her how she is faring.”

Mattie lowered the teacup to her lap. “I am well, but I am struggling to find a way to help my cousin. She is distraught over the death of her parents.”

“Give her time, lots of love and understanding,” Lady Dallington recommended.

Elodie brought her cup up to her lips as she remarked, “Winston said something similar when he was discussing this very same thing with Mattie. Isn’t that right?”

Mattie tipped her head in acknowledgement. “Yes, Lord Winston was very insightful on the situation,” she acknowledged.

“That does not surprise me,” Lady Dallington said. “Out of all my children, Winston is the one that feels the most deeply.”

“I feel deeply,” Elodie argued.

Lady Dallington gave her daughter a pointed look. “Perhaps, but you are much more vocal about your feelings. Winston holds them in, and they no doubt gnaw at him.”

Elodie placed her empty teacup onto the tray. “I wonder if that is why he is such a successful barrister.”

“I cannot speak to that, but I do worry about him,” Lady Dallington remarked.

Winston’s voice came from the doorway. “There is no reason to worry about me, Mother,” he said, stepping into the room with a determined stride.

Turning her attention towards him, Lady Dallington responded, “I am a mother. It is my job to worry about my children. ”

He went to stand next to Elodie. “I am seven and twenty years old. I can handle my own affairs.”

“Yet you are not married,” Lady Dallington reminded him.

Winston crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, and that is by choice. A wife would just complicate my life.”

“A wife is a blessing,” Lady Dallington countered. “Look at how happy Bennett and Delphine are. Their happiness seems to radiate off them.”

Mattie noticed that Winston grew rigid at the mention of a wife. Interesting, she thought. What was it about taking on a wife that bothered him so greatly?

In a gruff voice, Winston said, “Not everyone has Bennett’s good fortune.”

“Sometimes one must forge ahead, making their own path, and not rely on good fortune,” Lady Dallington advised.

Winston uncrossed his arms, letting them fall to his sides. “Do we truly have to discuss this now, considering we have a guest?”

Lady Dallington shifted her gaze to Mattie, her eyes warm and kind. “I daresay that Mattie is more than a guest. I consider her as family.”

Mattie offered Lady Dallington a grateful smile. “Thank you, my lady,” she acknowledged. “I feel the same way.”

As she reached for the teapot, Melody addressed her brother with a playful grin. “May I offer you some tea while Mother is interrogating you?”

“Tea would be wonderful,” Winston replied, his tone softening.

Melody went about pouring a cup of tea and extended the cup and saucer to Winston. He took it with a nod of thanks.

Lady Dallington placed her teacup onto the table. “I want what every mother wants, and that is for all of my children to be happily wed.”

“Getting married does not ensure our happiness,” Melody argued. “Even if we were most fortunate to find love, which is rare and elusive in high Society, we still must live our lives, which have no guarantees of being carefree.”

Winston took a sip of his tea, his gaze thoughtful. “Melody is right. Happiness is not guaranteed by marriage alone.”

Lady Dallington sighed softly. “I understand, but my marriage to your father has brought me immense joy. That is what I want for each one of you, especially since life is difficult.”

Mattie watched the exchange with interest, recognizing the deep bond between them all, one she was grateful to be a part of despite their disagreements.

Elodie spoke up, her tone decisive. “I doubt I will ever get married. I see no point in losing my freedoms for a chance at love.”

“I support your decision, Sister,” Winston stated. “Perhaps you can help me run my sheep farm.”

Perking up, Elodie declared, “I would greatly enjoy running a sheep farm.”

Lady Dallington let out a heavy sigh. “You two are incorrigible,” she stated with exasperation in her voice. “I do not know what I am going to do with either of you.”

Finding herself curious, Mattie asked Elodie, “Do you know anything about sheep?”

Elodie’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “I know if you see a sheep on its back that you must roll it to its side,” she replied. “Other than that, I am at a loss. But I can learn.”

“Why don’t you focus on the upcoming Season first?” Lady Dallington asked. “You never know, you may enjoy all the social events that London has to offer.”

“I truly doubt that,” Elodie responded.

Lady Dallington turned her attention towards Mattie. “Did you speak to your father about my offer to host you for the Season?”

“I did, and he is still mulling it over,” Mattie said. She didn’t wish to reveal that he hadn’t been keen on the idea, but she hoped he would reconsider—for her sake.

With a reassuring smile, Lady Dallington remarked, “I am sure he will see the wisdom in it. It would be a wonderful opportunity for you.”

Mattie returned her smile, albeit a bit forced. “I hope so,” she said, though doubt lingered in her mind.

Fortunately, Elodie must have sensed the tension because she interjected, “Well, if you don’t attend the Season, you could always help run the sheep farm with us.”

Winston chuckled. “Indeed, the more the merrier.”