Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

W hen the butler escorted Violet into the morning room at the Earl of Greydon’s townhouse, she found her sister sitting next to Belinda and enjoying a lavish spread. Emmeline, Jane, and Louisa were on the opposite side of the table, and all but Louisa—whose nose was buried in a book—turned in Violet’s direction as the butler announced her presence and then quietly withdrew.

Emmeline stood and greeted Violet before asking, “Edward is not with you?”

“He was not up yet when I left,” she replied. It wasn’t until the words left her mouth that she realized how odd it was that her new husband wasn’t at her side. She had been so singularly focused on her panic that she hadn’t considered the fact that they had only married yesterday, and she was visiting his family.

“It is a rainy and dreary morning,” she added, as if that somehow made it less strange that she was there without him.

“And Edward was too weary to rise and join you?” Belinda’s lips curved slightly upward as she spoke, but Violet refused to blush at the subtle insinuation that she had tired him out.

“Uh…not at all. I’m simply an early riser and wanted to collect Isabelle as soon as possible.”

Isabelle’s brows drew together. “Did it not go well when you returned home? Did Basil make a scene? Did he refuse to leave?” Her knuckles turned white around the spoon in her hand. “I shouldn’t have stayed here last night. I should have gone with you. What are we going to do now?”

“Hush.” The obvious concern in her sister’s voice settled something inside Violet. No matter what happened in her life, her relationship with her sister remained unchanged. “I did not mean to alarm you. Basil left without a fight. He was astonished to discover that I had married, but he didn’t argue with me. Nor did he try to remain after I told him he needed to go.”

“If he left without complaint, and he’s gone now, why are you so frazzled? I expected you’d feel a measure of relief to be rid of him and assumed you’d want to bask in your success. For the first time in months, I thought you’d be relaxed…maybe even happy.”

“I am not frazzled, and I’m quite…happy.” She refused to acknowledge how relaxed and happy she’d been when she first woke up—just like she refused to admit how stressed she was about it. “I thought you’d wish to return home, so I came as soon as I arose.” She patted her hair. “I apologize if I was incorrect. I am not used to us being separated, and—” She floundered at what to say next.

“It is quite an adjustment when your family expands or changes,” Emmeline said kindly. “I experienced it when my brother married and then again when I married Sebastian. We should have made it clear that your sister can stay with us as long as she likes. She is most welcome here.” She smiled warmly and gestured at the table. “As are you. Would you care to join us?”

Violet hesitated, more than a little overwhelmed by Emmeline’s genuine acceptance of her new status as a member of the family.

“The biscuits are delicious. You should have one,” Isabelle added. She didn’t seem eager to leave, and Violet didn’t want to make things more awkward by demanding they do so.

With the way her stomach was churning, she didn’t think she could eat a single bite, but she nodded to Emmeline and said, “Thank you. I appreciate your generosity.”

Smiling weakly, Violet took a seat at the table and accepted a steaming cup of tea as the conversation around her resumed. She didn’t pay much attention to the topic, as it was difficult to keep her thoughts from drifting back to the night before.

In the light of day, she was equal parts shocked and confused by the intensity of her coupling with Edward, even though she probably shouldn’t be. She knew from experience how easily she could be ensnared by passion. Was she destined to tumble head over heels for any man who showed unabashed interest in her?

Immersed in her thoughts, she didn’t register that Edward had joined them until he appeared directly across the table from her and pulled out a chair. His normally immaculate hair was a bit wilder than normal, and his wedding attire was rather wrinkled, but otherwise he seemed calm. Not angry about being left behind. Or overly affected by their lovemaking.

For unknown reasons, she lurched to her feet and curtsied. Appalled by her awkwardness, she tried to cover her discomfort by saying, “Hello, husband. Fancy seeing you here.”

Speaking only made her actions more awkward, and she fought the blush that crept up the back of her neck. It was a losing battle, because even though she told herself to keep her mouth closed, words kept slipping out. “I’m quite sorry. I should have waited for you this morning. When I awoke early, I didn’t want to disturb you, but in retrospect I shouldn’t have left until you were awake.”

She wrinkled her nose. Rambling was making her more uncomfortable, not less.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“It’s fine.” Edward studied her closely. “I wouldn’t have minded if you had woken me up, but you are free to visit my family without me anytime you please.” He winked at his sisters. “I dare say they might appreciate your company more than mine.”

They laughed, but Violet didn’t join in.

“I—” She stopped and shook her head, not knowing exactly what she’d been about to say, but aware that she couldn’t inform him that the sexual connection they’d formed during the night had inspired all sorts of feelings within her. Even if she wanted to explain, it wasn’t as if she could do so in front of his family.

No doubt Belinda would find the conversation amusing, but everyone one else would be rightfully appalled.

When she didn’t finish her sentence, Edward asked, “What’s wrong?”

She swallowed and tried to think of a witty response. Or a way to deflect. Why was he so observant? And why did it make her want to spill her every thought? “Nothing is wrong.”

He raised his brow, while she started fidgeting with her spoon.

“It’s raining today,” she added, as if mentioning the weather explained everything.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he popped half a biscuit in his mouth and grabbed another one from the overflowing plate in the center of the table. “It was more of a drizzle when I came in. I know you—wait… it’s raining . Does that mean…do you wish to take a stroll?”

“Of course not.” She huffed. “Who takes a stroll in the rain?”

“I’ve recently discovered that I adore walking while it’s raining.”

His eyes twinkled, and she rolled hers in return.

“You do not.”

“Yes, I do. It was an unexpected discovery, I’ll admit, and I’d relish the opportunity to test its validity. How kind you are to suggest it.” He rose to his feet and swept his eyes over the other ladies at the table. “If you will excuse us, my wife and I fancy stretching our legs.” His gaze settled on her again. “Shall we?”

No one spoke as she stood up. She told herself that the only reason she wasn’t arguing was because she didn’t want to embarrass him by refusing to go with him in front of his sisters.

It wasn’t necessarily true.

“Make sure to take an umbrella,” Belinda called out, her voice ripe with amusement.

“We will return before long,” Edward responded, ushering Violet out of the room.

She promised herself she wouldn’t share her rioting thoughts or her valid concerns, and when they fell into step on the sidewalk, she vowed she would keep her heart closely guarded.

The rain fell in a steady drizzle just as he had promised, and he used a large umbrella he’d procured before they left to shield them. She missed the intimacy of being tucked into his side under his greatcoat. It was another item to add to the list of things she wanted but was trying to pretend she didn’t.

They had just turned into the park when she broke her promise to herself and said, “We’re married.”

He nodded once, his tone serious when he replied, “We are.”

“We’ll be together until death do us part.”

“We will,” he confirmed. “Are you…having second thoughts?”

“No,” she admitted softly, and even though she was horrified that she couldn’t hold onto her resolve to keep her concerns to herself for five minutes, she didn’t hold back. A part of her wanted to be honest with him, even if it scared her. “It was good between us last night. Too good. Better than I imagined. It was like we were connected—like we were one.”

He didn’t reply as he steered her toward the row of tall trees, halting when they were mostly shielded from anyone else who was foolish enough to be walking through the park in the rain.

His chin tipped downward, his lashes dropped slightly, and he studied her through them. If he was attempting to be seductive, he had more than succeeded. She wanted to lock her arms around his neck and then coax him into wrapping his body around hers.

“A healthy sexual relationship is a key component of a happy marriage,” he stated, without a sliver of hesitation or discomfort.

She didn’t want to like his poise.

Or the matter-of-fact way he spoke about the marriage bed.

But she couldn’t help it.

“It isn’t,” she started, and then stopped. She wouldn’t lie to him. Not about this. Not about anything . “I mean…obviously it is, but I don’t want my emotions to become involved in our marriage.”

“You don’t want your emotions to become involved,” he repeated. She expected him to be defensive or angry, but he was neither.

“It seems like it might be difficult to censor emotion,” he added, brushing the curls off his forehead and looking directly into her eyes. “Are you saying our coupling made you feel things you’d prefer not to feel?”

It wasn’t exactly how she would have put it, but—“Yes.”

His eyes sparkled while he struggled to maintain a serious expression, and she almost regretted her honesty.

“I cannot say I am disappointed by that development. My emotions are similarly engaged.”

She huffed. The fact that his feelings were involved was not helpful. If anything, it made their situation more complicated.

“I refuse to succumb to my emotions,” she told him.

He eased back onto his heels. “You don’t have to…I mean…I know that if I find myself falling in love with you, that love might be unrequited.”

Her mouth was dry. His words should have made her feel better, but they didn’t.

“Not might be,” she forced out. “Will be.”

“Understood.” It was difficult to tell from his expression if he was disappointed, but he didn’t sound particularly distressed when he asked, “Did you only realize this when you woke this morning?”

She nodded, and then shook her head. “I knew it already.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I should have told you before the wedding. Or yesterday, before…”

“You did.” He smiled faintly. “Maybe you didn’t say it explicitly, but even before our conversation yesterday, I was not under the misapprehension that you’re in love with me.”

“But you are under the misapprehension that I’ll fall in love with you.” She pointed at him. “Don’t lie. I know you are,” she grumbled. “Affection. Bah. Is only another word for love.”

His faint smile quickly grew into a wide grin. “A man is nothing without his dreams.”

“Be serious.” She swatted his arm in frustration. “Unrequited love is unpleasant.” She was practically an expert on the matter. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Once the words were out, a weight lifted off her chest. She couldn’t deny that she still feared developing feelings for him, but by warning him plainly and explicitly that he should guard his heart, she didn’t have to worry about his feelings.

Unfortunately, her relief only lasted until he spoke. “Your concern for me is sweet, but it’s unnecessary. There is no reason for you to worry about me or my emotional state.”

“Someone has to.” He clearly wasn’t taking her warning seriously enough if he could dismiss it so easily.

“I promise that I’m under no illusions about our marriage.”

“You won’t blame me if you find yourself infatuated?”

He scrubbed his hand across the lower half of his face as if to hide a smile. “I would never.”

She sighed. It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do for now.

He shifted his attention to their feet. “While we’re alone, I do need to tell you something. Basil came by this morning.”

Her eyes narrowed, and her hands found her hips. “Did you send him away?”

“Yes.” He winced and then added, “Eventually.”

She did not care for his response. Her heart was not nearly steady enough for another upheaval this morning, but it seemed she had no choice in the matter. “Explain.”

“Basil…well…he forgot one of his ledgers, so he stopped by the house to pick it up.”

“Whyever would he need the ledger?”

“Because it belongs to him. He claims that taking over your father’s work was not contingent upon your marriage.” He frowned, his eyes searching her face. “He also said that…well…the business was not what you thought.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He hesitated. “Your father may not have been entirely aboveboard with his business dealings. It’s still a bit unclear, but it seems as if he—and now Basil—dealt in stolen goods or smuggled goods. Maybe both. Basil didn’t give me very many details, but he told me enough to know that it isn’t what you thought.”

She didn’t believe her father had been a criminal. He’d been honest and—“What about my inheritance?” she asked, more than a little worried about the answer. Without her inheritance, she’d have nothing.

“The house and money are yours,” he assured her. “Basil was very adamant that he had not touched anything your father left to you.” His eyes darted to the side, as if there was something he wasn’t saying.

“What else?” she demanded.

“What did you know about your father’s dealings?” he asked, instead of answering her question.

She stared at him. Her thoughts were racing. “Very little. Basil is a scoundrel though. He won’t hesitate to lie when it suits him, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants. We must go to him and demand an explanation immediately.”

“Do you know where he might be?” Edward asked.

“I—” Her shoulders sagged. “I don’t.” She rubbed her forehead as the realization of the number of things she didn’t know accumulated in her mind. “My father never talked about his work, and then Basil…”

“What if Basil is telling the truth?”

“He’s a liar,” she said through a clenched jaw.

“That may be, but he seemed genuine and I?—”

“He charmed you?”

Her jaw dropped, and her hands fluttered uselessly at her side.

“ He charmed you ,” she repeated incredulously, as she collapsed against the tree at her back. It was wet and cold, but she ignored both. “I should have known. I should have anticipated. Of course Basil was not going to leave that easily. He’s a snake. Cut off one head and another appears. He’ll never leave me alone. He’ll always be lurking. Reminding me of my foolishness.” She stopped talking and drilled her finger into his chest. “I do not trust him; therefore, you cannot trust him.”

“It isn’t about trust. We’ll discover the truth. I should have done so already. I’m?—”

“—you don’t think he’s telling the truth?”

“I don’t know, but it was reckless of us to marry without knowing more about whatever agreements were made between Basil and your father. At the very least, I should have confirmed your inheritance. Speaking with Basil made me realize you could have lost everything when you married me. What if he’d had the right to withhold your inheritance if you didn’t marry him?” He shook his head. “We don’t even know how much money there is.”

Like an idiot, she’d assumed there was plenty.

“You cannot blame yourself. It isn’t your fault,” she said. The whole mess—everything that had happened since she met Basil—was her fault. Even once she had known Basil was a liar, she had been too caught up in her anger to ask him the proper questions.

His brows drew together. “Well, it certainly isn’t your fault either. Basil should have been honest with you. He never should have put you in a position where you thought you had to marry…someone else.”

A horrible thought suddenly occurred. If Basil was telling the truth, Edward couldn’t take over her father’s business, and that meant she had lied to him. Not on purpose, but still. “Are you angry about the business?”

“Of course not.”

“I promised you work and…”

“It’s not your fault.” He stepped toward her, his expression contrite. “I’m afraid that I’ve bungled everything, and I’m so sorry. Sebastian suggested I discover more about your inheritance before we wed, but I refused. I thought it didn’t matter.” He shook his head. “I failed you.”

His words penetrated the haze of fury that surrounded her. “You failed me?”

“With what you told me about Basil, I should have questioned everything. I have no excuse for why I didn’t, other than I wanted to marry you.”

She faltered. “You didn’t force me. If I hadn’t shown up at your doorstep?—”

“—I would have shown up at yours.”

“Really?” Belinda had suggested it, but Violet hadn’t believed it.

If he had truly wanted to marry her, maybe the feelings he inspired weren’t as dangerous as she’d thought.

Or maybe they were more dangerous.

Not being able to trust her own judgment made it difficult to assess.

“The day we spent at the cottage was one of the best days of my life. I couldn’t stop thinking of you the whole way back to London. When I found out where you were, and that you were fine, I told myself I had to leave you alone because your actions had made your wishes clear.” He swallowed. “The truth is, I’m not sure I’d have lasted another day without showing up at your doorstep.”

“Truly?” She’d been prickly and angry about her circumstances when they’d met, and for some reason, he liked her anyway.

The walls that were supposed to protect her heart didn’t stand a chance if he kept assuring her that he had wanted to marry.

How would she protect herself without those walls?