Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

L ater that evening, Edward found himself seated across from his brother with a glass of brandy in his hand. It wasn’t atypical for them to retire to the study after supper. They’d done it dozens of times, but they had never lapsed into such an awkward silence. It was clear from the way Sebastian’s fingers tapped an irregular beat on the arm of his chair that he had something on his mind.

It wasn’t difficult to guess what.

Edward’s forthcoming marriage hung between them, just waiting for one of them to mention it.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Sebastian spoke suddenly, his voice quiet even though they were alone. “But I don’t want you to make an irreversible mistake.”

“An irreversible mistake,” he echoed.

There was no way to misconstrue what Sebastian meant, so Edward wasn’t at all surprised when Sebastian added, “If you marry Violet, you will be tied to her until her death or yours.”

Edward swirled the contents of his glass but didn’t take a drink.

“I am familiar with how marriage works.”

Sebastian frowned. “I don’t mean to sound condescending, but you really have no idea.”

“How could that not sound condescending?” Edward asked, only slightly annoyed. If they’d had this conversation a few months prior, he’d have been furious. He would have made either a disparaging or dismissive remark and then attempted to ignore whatever Sebastian said next. Fortunately, their relationship had evolved to the point that Edward could simply raise his eyebrow and wait for whatever wisdom his brother felt necessary to impart without overreacting.

Sebastian didn’t hesitate to clarify. He set his glass on the end table and scraped his hand across the shadow of stubble on his chin as he leaned forward. “Marriage is more complicated than it appears. It involves emotions and…well…it can be difficult to predict how you’ll feel about a woman once she is your wife.”

It wasn’t that difficult to predict. In fact, Edward thought he had a pretty good handle on how he’d feel. “Protective. Smitten. Committed. Aroused.” He smirked when Sebastian scowled at the last one. In spite of being married and in love, Sebastian was still made uncomfortable by the mere mention of sex. It would have been irritating if it wasn’t endearing. “I don’t have any illusions about why she is marrying me. I’m going to save her from an unwanted marriage, and then when the dust has settled and she has learned to trust me, I’m going to earn her affection.”

“Why her?” Sebastian asked.

It was a good question. He wished he had a better answer than he liked her. “She needs me.”

“And you want to be needed?”

It wasn’t as simple as it sounded, but he thought his brother might understand the part he couldn’t put into words. “I kissed her. I want to do it again.”

“Oh.” Sebastian’s brow furrowed. “ Oh. The kiss was…passionate?”

“Indeed. There was fire between us. I’ve never felt anything like it.” He paused. “I’m going to earn her trust. And then maybe love will follow.”

“Maybe.” Sebastian squinted at him. “Do you believe it’s that simple? That passion and trust are somehow connected, and together they turn into love?”

“Why not? Our family. You. Mother. Father. All found love from passion.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“I could not be more serious. Our mother found love twice.” He held up two fingers.

“You’ve got to be kidding. You cannot use Mother as an example. I thought you of all people understood that.”

“I do,” he confirmed. “It’s just?—”

“Our mother cares for nothing except herself. That is not love. Our parents were—” He broke off and shook his head. “Never mind… but you must recognize that Emmeline and I were tremendously lucky. I was not looking for love. I didn’t want it, and I was nearly certain I didn’t have the ability to feel it. She agreed to marry me with the full knowledge of what I could offer her. If I hadn’t been so very wrong about what I needed, she would have spent her life undervalued and underappreciated. I do not want that for you. You deserve more.”

Edward raised his brow. His brother was making his point for him.

“It isn’t the same,” Sebastian insisted. “Emmeline didn’t have expectations. She took me at face value. She didn’t have an insidious plot to earn my affection. Nor my love. She didn’t attempt to force me, or push me, or try to convince me. Our love happened unintentionally.”

“Unintentionally,” Edward parroted.

“You know what I mean. I didn’t earn it. At least not in the beginning. We married for practical purposes and love developed in spite of our lack of expectations. I had no experience at being an adequate husband, and Emmeline deserved so much more than I offered. The fact that we ended up happy is astonishing. There is a part of me that still cannot believe it.”

Edward didn’t hesitate to correct his brother on the parts he had wrong. “If you truly think that Emmeline didn’t harbor hope from the very moment she pledged herself to you, you’re the one who is daft. The parallel between our situations is obvious. You married for reasons other than love, but it found you anyway. Why can’t passion lead to love for me and Violet too?” He glared at Sebastian. “I’m going to make it exceptionally easy for her to fall for me. I intend to be a doting and understanding husband. She will have no reason to regret marrying me.”

“It isn’t her regret that I am concerned about.”

“I can take care of myself.” They’d had a similar argument once before—when he’d dallied with Lady Hayden, and her husband had found out and created a minor scandal—and this time he refused to lose his temper or doubt himself. He appreciated that his brother cared, even though he didn’t welcome his attempted intervention.

“I know you can. However, you cannot force love. It must develop on its own,” Sebastian explained, as if Edward were a small boy prone to whimsical delusions.

“I don’t intend to force it,” he responded, more heatedly than he would have liked.

He refused to lose his temper. Especially when his brother meant well.

“Emmeline was not supposed to marry someone else,” Sebastian stated bluntly.

Edward flinched and his shoulders sagged. “You think it’s hopeless, then?”

“No. Not precisely.” Sebastian sighed as if he were not enjoying this anymore than Edward was. “It’s just…your expectations might be a tad high. You cannot compel someone to love you, and passion does not equal love, no matter what you think. I don’t wish to see you disappointed.”

“I shall not be disappointed.” Even though Sebastian had punctured his confidence a smidge, he would not waver in his belief that he would end up as happy as his brother.

“I hope you’re not.” Sebastian paused. “Just…be careful that you don’t confuse lust with love.”

“Excuse me.” Now he was truly offended. He had absolutely no trouble telling the difference, if only because he’d never fully experienced the latter in a romantic sense. He hadn’t even glimpsed it until he’d stood next to Violet with the sea twinkling in the moonlight, felt her lips against his, and realized that he wanted to marry her.

“You hardly know Violet, and what you do know isn’t terribly flattering. She lied about being our cousin. She intends to jilt her fiancé. At the very least, you should confirm the details of her supposed inheritance.”

“I don’t need to. I’m not marrying her for money.”

“That doesn’t mean you should ignore my advice.”

When Edward didn’t respond, Sebastian sighed. “I’m simply suggesting that it isn’t as if you offered marriage because you admire her character. Attraction is obviously guiding you and it can make you blind.” He winced as if he couldn’t believe he’d spoken those words aloud.

“Are you certain you wish to have this conversation?”

“Not at all, but you are my brother, and I have vowed to myself that I will do better in regard to our family.” Sebastian hesitated. “Do you want to talk about…feelings?”

“There is no need. Love and lust are not so difficult to separate.” He paused and then couldn’t help adding, “I seem to remember you view me as some kind of expert on lust.”

“Please don’t remind me of that .” Sebastian put his face in his hands. His next words were muffled, but still clear enough to understand. “I would appreciate it if you never mentioned it again.”

Edward chuckled a little, some of his tension releasing.

He would never forget when Sebastian had asked him for advice on how to please Emmeline in the bedchamber. It had been more than a little shocking at the time, but in retrospect it was rather sweet. And even though Edward wasn’t the lothario his brother had believed him to be, he had been happy to help.

“Did you bring the book to London with you?” he asked, suddenly curious.

Edward had found a book with graphic drawings of sexual gratification hidden in the library at Greydon Hall less than a year after their father died. He’d never been particularly na?ve about sex. His parents had not been concerned with privacy, so he’d seen quite a bit more than he should have. The book, though, had been revelatory. The illustrations were illuminating and fantasy inspiring. The pictures were not anatomically correct, but the unquestionable pursuit of pleasure between the pages had made a sizable impact on his expectations.

Expectations that hadn’t been met until a certain redhead had kissed him.

“It is missing,” Sebastian whispered.

“You lost it?” he asked incredulously.

He’d kept the book hidden until Sebastian had come to him for advice after marrying Emmeline. No one else knew of its existence.

“Of course not. It disappeared. At first I thought I hadn’t shelved it in the correct spot, but after I performed a thorough inspection, I can confirm it is no longer in the library.”

“The library here? Or at Greydon Hall?”

“Greydon Hall. It disappeared before we left.”

Edward’s brows shot up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I had other things on my mind.”

“But—” He broke off. “Who do you think took it?” It was a foolish question. There was only one answer that made any sense. He groaned. “Belinda. It had to have been her. Have you asked her where she put it?”

Sebastian looked at him like he was crazy. “Absolutely not. I’ve had more than enough conversations with our sister about men. It has been months since I found her in a compromising position, and I find myself unwilling to pry deeper into the reasons why.”

Edward choked. “You would rather she keep a book full of sexual positions than ask her what she knows about it.”

“Precisely,” Sebastian responded stiffly.

The conversation had diverted to an unexpected place. Edward could offer to talk to Belinda, but it was entirely possible that by doing nothing, Sebastian had already done the right thing. Belinda would not appreciate interference from either of them, and for the first time Edward was rather glad Sebastian was the one tasked with protecting Belinda from scandal.

“You know that I do care about her happiness. And yours,” Sebastian added quietly when Edward didn’t respond. “I always have. Even when it seemed like I didn’t.”

Edward swallowed and nodded. He may have doubted his brother for a time, but he no longer did. He reached over and squeezed Sebastian’s shoulder. “I do know and I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”