Chapter 1

Chapter One

LONDON, LATE JANUARY 1816

E dward James Grey had become unnecessary.

It was hard to admit and even harder to accept.

When he’d been younger and desperate to feel less alone, he had written to his elder brother more than once hoping that Sebastian would hear his hinted plea to come home.

It hadn’t happened.

Sebastian had ignored him, and for ten long years Edward had supported and cared for their sisters alone. He’d reassured them, encouraged them, and loved them with everything he had. He’d been the best big brother he knew how to be, and even after he reached his majority, he’d remained in the country—except for that one brief and disastrous sojourn into society—so he could be there for them. He’d made sure his shoulder was always available when they needed to cry and his arms were always open when they needed a hug.

Trying to take the place of their dead father and their distracted mother hadn’t been easy, but he’d been mostly successful, at least with his youngest sisters. Jane and Louisa were lovely and happy and primed to make splendid matches when they came of age.

He’d attempted to be what Belinda needed too.

The fact that she was lovely but unhappy wasn’t his fault.

At least not entirely.

Trying was more than their mother had done. More than Sebastian had done too.

During the years that his brother had been absent, Edward had been lonely, but he’d also been useful and confident in what he was doing. His purpose had been clear, and now that Sebastian had reappeared in their lives, Edward wasn’t prepared for how disgruntled he felt about being replaced.

Jane, Louisa, and even Belinda had started relying on their eldest brother as soon as they arrived in London, leaving Edward adrift. It was impossible to anticipate feelings, and he knew as well as anyone that there was no point in lamenting what wasn’t or wishing things were different, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the loss. He attempted to quiet his spiraling thoughts as he stirred his tea, but when Sebastian’s wife Emmeline spoke, he knew he hadn’t succeeded.

“Edward.” She waved her hand in front of his face as if saying his name wasn’t enough to catch his attention. “Is everything alright?”

“Naturally,” he responded with a smile that was indisputably fake.

Her eyes narrowed and a frown settled upon her face. “Are you quite sure? I don’t think you’ve heard anything I’ve said since you sat down.”

He barely withheld a wince. They took tea together nearly every day, and he was generally quite attentive, so it was only natural that she noticed a difference. Without a doubt, Emmeline was one of the kindest people he knew, and even though he was certain she’d be sympathetic if he told her the truth, he refused to complain to her. She’d been through enough since she had married his brother, and she was finally happy.

“Haven’t been sleeping well.” Truth. “London is too noisy.” Lie.

He could tell by the way she kept examining him that he hadn’t fully sold the lie.

“You could move to a different bedchamber,” she suggested.

He wished changing rooms would solve his problem. “There is nothing wrong with my room.”

“If it is noisy?—”

“—it’s fine,” he interrupted. “I’m just adjusting to…” What? What was he adjusting to?

“I haven’t seen you paint since I arrived in London.”

Of course she had noticed he wasn’t painting. She really was too observant. “I don’t have the proper supplies.”

“Really?” She squinted at him. “There are plenty of shops here. You could purchase whatever you require.”

If only it were that simple.

He wasn’t lacking brushes or canvases or paints.

What he required was inspiration and he could admit, at least to himself, that the way his life suddenly chafed was the opposite of inspiring. Painting had always brought him joy. And peace. He’d been able to escape from the demands of his mother and his sisters, and now that his mother had left with her new husband and his sisters were demanding nothing of him, he couldn’t conjure a reason to pick up his brush.

Withholding a sigh, he selected a scone and took a nibble.

“I prefer to do my painting at Greydon Hall.” It was meant to be an explanation, and he didn’t realize it until he said it, but he had never painted elsewhere.

“Your studio there is quite well situated. The light is amazing. Do you wish to return?”

He hadn’t considered that maybe a part of him was missing the familiarity and comfort of home. The question was, did he want to go to Greydon Hall alone? Would returning cure the feeling of inadequacy that he couldn’t seem to shake? Or would it only make things worse?

He would be well and truly alone if he went to the country estate where he’d spent almost his entire life, and he wasn’t at all certain how he would react. “I’m…content to remain in London for now.”

“Are you certain?” she asked, her concern evident.

“My family is here,” he reminded her, as if men who were five and twenty were required to remain within the bosom of their family.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after prowling the halls looking for a distraction, Edward lowered himself into a chair in Sebastian’s study and asked, “Where is Higgins?”

He hadn’t seen his brother’s secretary in days.

“He had to go to the country.”

“To Greydon Hall? Or to check on Mother?”

Sebastian set the paper he’d been reading on his desk. “Neither. He’s in Wiltshire.”

“Why is he in Wiltshire?” Edward asked, propping his foot on his knee.

“I recently acquired a farm there. The stable master quit last month. And the head groom is considering quitting. The stables are extensive. They used to be impressive, but now they’re a bit of a disaster. I needed Higgins to go and sort them out.”

“Why’d you purchase a farm in Wiltshire?”

“I didn’t. Our uncle obtained it last year, but he has a couple of other projects that are occupying him, so he offered it to me at a reduced cost because he didn’t have enough time to dedicate to it.” Sebastian had plenty of things to occupy him, but he couldn’t seem to stop adding to the heap of responsibilities he already had.

“What do you know about horses?” Edward asked.

“Very little,” Sebastian responded, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “That is why it is unfortunate that the stable master quit and why it is imperative that Higgins convince the head groom to stay. We require more staff, not less.”

Edward nodded and, being relatively uninterested in newly acquired farms, changed the subject to something that had been nagging him for days. “What about the cottage? What did Higgins discover there?”

Before leaving Greydon Hall for London, Edward had noticed several irregularities in the expenditures at a small property his brother owned on the coast. He’d brought it to Sebastian’s attention, and Sebastian had informed him that Higgins would discover why the housekeeper was spending so much more than she ever had before, but Edward had never followed up and he was curious.

Leaning back in his chair, Sebastian frowned. “Higgins has not had the chance to discover anything. He concurs that the increase in spending is confusing, but he is unwilling to speculate why. Mrs. Eggington has managed the property since I acquired it. She is normally meticulous in her bookkeeping and has never given me a reason to question her.” He shrugged. “I considered sending a missive, but if she is suddenly comfortable with tripling the expenditures without explanation, it doesn’t seem likely that she’ll give me a straight answer. Additionally, I’m concerned any letter I compose will seem accusatory, so I decided to wait until Higgins has settled the issues at the farm and can attend to the matter himself.”

“I could go to the cottage and sort things out,” Edward offered.

As he spoke, he realized how much he wanted to go. A trip to uncover why an empty cottage suddenly required so many provisions was exactly the sort of distraction he required. It would give him the opportunity to make himself useful to the earldom even if he could no longer be useful to his family.

Sebastian aligned the papers on his desk in a precise pile before he asked, “You would like to go to the cottage to discover what is amiss?”

“Absolutely.” Edward squirmed in anticipation. The possibility of leaving London behind made him happier than he’d been in days. When Emmeline had asked if he wanted to return to Greydon Hall during tea, he’d felt sadness down to his toes, but now leaving for a purpose other than his malaise seemed like the perfect solution.

“It takes nearly a week to reach the village,” Sebastian said slowly.

“Excellent.” A fortnight of travel, plus the time it took to uncover Mrs. Eggington’s scheme. He could be gone for a month.

Maybe more.

It wasn’t as if he had any reason to return.

“You don’t have to exert yourself,” Sebastian told him. “It isn’t particularly urgent. The expenses are puzzling, but not significant enough that they can’t extend until Higgins is available.”

Edward’s shoulders drooped.

“Someone needs to go. Why not me?” he demanded, uncharacteristically brusque.

Why was Sebastian so willing to send Higgins dashing about the country, but so hesitant to allow Edward to do anything at all?

“You’ve been a tremendous help to me already. You have nothing to prove,” Sebastian said gently, as if Edward was fragile.

Edward didn’t sigh, although he sure as hell wanted to.

His brother did not understand. Sebastian probably couldn’t understand, because his responsibilities had increased over the course of the past year rather than decreased. He was the earl, the head of the family, the one who had been responsible for restoring the fortune their father had squandered. And now, he had a new wife and a baby on the way. What did he know of being unnecessary?

“I require a task. I am”—Edward searched for the best word to use, but the only one that came to mind was—“bored.”

“Bored?” Sebastian’s brow shot up as if he were unfamiliar with the sentiment.

Edward groaned. “Why won’t you let me do anything?”

“I hadn’t realized you needed something to do. You were at Greydon Hall all those years, and—” Sebastian winced as he cut himself off.

It was lucky that he stopped when he did, because if he had finished that sentence Edward would have been tempted to leap over the desk and strangle him. His brother knew quite well that he’d had his hands full while at their country seat. “I wasn’t doing nothing.”

Sebastian smiled weakly. “Of course. I know you weren’t. Bloody hell. I’m undervaluing you again, aren’t I?” He quieted for a moment before nodding. “If you would like to go to the cottage, then I would appreciate your assistance.”

It wasn’t a glowing endorsement, but Edward would take it anyway.

He resisted the urge to leap to his feet, dash out of the room, and head out of town before Sebastian could change his mind, but even if he wanted to be rash, he couldn’t, because he had no idea where the cottage was located. Furthermore, because he had never been there, it would behoove him to discover as much as he could before he left, so he sat patiently and listened while Sebastian told him about the village, the housekeeper, and the cottage itself.

When Sebastian was finished talking, Edward offered to depart the next morning.

Sebastian agreed and then added, “If you’re unsure how to handle the situation once you discover what is afoot, send me a missive and I will advise.”

“Of course,” Edward replied, although he had no intention of appealing to his brother for help. Surely he could handle a thieving housekeeper on his own. If he proved himself useful, perhaps he could take on other tasks for the earldom. With something constructive to do, he left the study with more bounce in his step than he’d had in weeks.