87

87

I Offer You A Choice…

I step into Hades, right into his personal space that we’ve both been so careful not to breach, flattening my palms against his chest. He goes so rigid, he could be a cold, carved marble version of himself. I ignore that as I go up on tiptoe and place a kiss right at the corner of his mouth.

A tiny, soft grunt escapes him.

Lowering, I don’t take my gaze from his, holding his stare, which is all things wary but also watchful, taking in every nuance of me.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “For all of that.”

Never looking away, I back toward the pool behind me. At the same time, I slowly lift my yellow sundress up over my head, then drop it on the stone path of the garden. I’m not wearing a bra, and the perfect night air caresses my skin.

His gaze goes first to the black spider scar on my side, and I swear he’s angry—it’s infinitesimal, but I see it. But then, as if he can’t help himself, his gaze roams the rest of me with eyes turning a predatory kind of hungry, changing from mercury to cut steel.

“What are you doing?” His voice is low, wary.

Those silvery eyes tell a different story. He’s devouring me with his gaze. The heat of it is licking at my skin, even as he holds himself so fiercely still.

I smile. “I’m changing the rules of our game.”

He takes a jerking step forward, hands coming out of his pockets to fist at his sides, frustration rippling over his features. “This isn’t a game between us, Lyra.”

I’m at the edge of the pool now, and I kick off my sandals. “I know. That’s why I’m changing the rules.”

He shakes his head. “I’m leaving.”

Only he doesn’t move. Not an inch. Not even turning his gaze away.

I turn my back to him, facing the water, and slip my panties off, kicking them to the side. My heart is pounding against the cage of my ribs so hard, he can probably hear it from way over there. I may be a smart-ass and a cursed thief. I may stand up to gods and do what I think is right at any moment, even if the consequences are not all that great for me. I’ve been called a fool by more than one person in my life.

But this is different. This is true vulnerability.

Not just because I’m exposed physically, but because I’m putting me on the line. I’m telling him in no uncertain terms that if he wants me, I’m his. Forget the impossibility of the future. I’ll take what I can get in the here and now.

The Crucible has taught me that much.

It’s Hades’ choice now. He can still leave, turn away, reject what I’m offering.

That’s going to hurt like a son of a bitch if he does.

But some risks are worth the painful consequences. This is one of them.

I glance over my shoulder to find him still standing. Watching. Jaw clenched and looking like a strong shove could shatter him. Forget trying to flirt with him outrageously. That’s not me, not who I am. Instead, I offer him a sincere smile. Unlike every day of my life in the den, I don’t hide what I’m feeling.

I let him see my need. But also affection, tenderness, and…hope.

And he flinches. Direct hit.

A muscle ticks at the side of his mouth. My god of death is holding himself back so hard. That knowledge makes me smile even more. At least he’s not coldly unaffected, like I think he wants me to believe.

“I’m offering myself to you,” I tell him. Just to be perfectly clear. “No deals. No quid pro quo. No expectations.”

I pause, studying everything about him as that sinks in.

“Join me…or don’t. Your choice.” I turn away, closing my eyes against the horrible knowledge that he could very easily choose don’t. Especially with the way he’s fighting this. “But I would really love it if you joined me.”

With that, I dive into the water.

Like everything else about this place, the water is perfect, cool but not cold, a rush of silk against my skin as I swim.

My heart is beating so fast, I have to come up sooner than I’d like just to take an extra breath. I’m trying to play it nonchalant as I go. I don’t know if Hades is still there watching. He could have turned away.

I force myself to not look, to swim lazily along, into the entrance to the grotto. It’s beautiful in here, too, the natural stone awash in lantern glow, and whatever it is on the cave ceilings over Styx that lights up like blue stars is in here, too.

But when I swim out, it feels more like I’m suspended above the Underworld in a private, fantastical floating sanctuary. And yet gloriously, uninhibitedly exposed.

And Hades isn’t here.

He didn’t follow.

I turn finally to look and immediately deflate at the aloneness. There’s no one behind me, no disturbance of the water beyond what I’m making, no splash of sound within the grotto.

His answer is no.

He doesn’t want me. Not enough.

I take a deep breath that pushes at the tightness of my chest and swim to the edge of the grotto, where the water spills over into another pool below, numb. As far away as I can get from the mountainside and him, I lay my arms across the top of the rock ledge, propping my chin on them with a sigh.

At least I picked a nice, private place to hide my hurt and humiliation. Believe it or not, I’m doing my best to focus on the second feeling and trying damn hard not to acknowledge the disappointment that’s building a crushing sort of weight around my chest.

I’ve been alone most of my life. I do fine alone.

But this is different.

This meant something. More than just lust. Am I foolish to let it affect me this much? Probably. All the same arguments against giving in to this attraction are still there. They didn’t disappear like dust in the wind just because he showed me a tiny piece of who he is deep down, just because he showed how he knows me, and supported me, and protected me, and took punishment for me.

And I proceeded to turn to mush.

“Damn,” I whisper.

With no warning, strong arms steal around me and a bare chest presses against my back. Hades drops his forehead to the back of my head, and I hear him breathe me in. There’s still resistance in him, in the inflexibility of his embrace, the unbending way he’s holding himself.

“I need to know you realize what this can’t be…and what it can,” he growls.

A hard warning. A dark promise.