79

79

Try Everything

A laugh bursts out of me, somewhere between relief and shock and joy. Only it sends a jagged pain through my belly, and I wince. “Don’t make me laugh.”

He snorts. “All I said was hey.”

“And grinned.” My face twists all up, holding back tears. “I didn’t think I’d get to see that again.” I glance at Hades. “Did you get Zeus to make him a god? I don’t have to win now?”

The look I get in return is a thousand layers of regret. “I asked. He wouldn’t do it. The Daemones said it was interfering in the Crucible,” Hades says.

I frown. “But—” I look closer at Boone, and… Oh gods… He’s see-through. Not like dream Boone. This is different. He’s a ghost. A soul.

He’s still dead.

“You said it wasn’t good if he saw me now.” The whisper comes out harsh, an accusation aimed directly at Hades, but I don’t take my gaze off Boone.

“You needed me.” Boone tips his head. “You kept calling out for me in your sleep. So I came.”

“But what if you get confused? What if you want to go back and get trapped?” I need to get up and push him out of the room.

“I’m fine,” Boone says.

Hades makes a gesture off to the side—hiding it from me, I think—and Boone glances his way. “I can’t be here much longer. I need you to listen.”

After a moment of fighting back my overwhelming tumult of emotions, I manage to nod.

“I need you to do something for me, Lyra.”

I nod, the movement making my head spin. “I know. Win.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I need you to fight, for you. I don’t want to see you down here with me. Not yet. Do you hear me? Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” His smile is both real and forced. “Better than fine. But you’re going to die if you don’t let me go and try to live.”

“No—”

“Let me go. I’ll see your face again in about eighty years, after you’ve had a long life.” He’s fading away.

“Boone—”

“Promise me you’ll live, Lyra.” His voice is coming from far away. “Promise.”

“I promise.” I swallow. “And I’ll see you sooner than eighty years. I’ll win the Crucible. It’s in the bag.”

He shakes his head again. I think. I can hardly see him now. “You live for both of us. That will be enough.”

I can’t see him anymore.

“Eighty years, Lyra-Loo-Hoo.” His voice whispers around me. “I’ll be counting down the days.”

And then he’s gone. I feel it when he goes.

I clamp my free hand over my mouth, holding back the sobs that want to break free.

Hades nods at someone, and for the first time, I realize there’s another man in here, one I’ve never met. He inserts a needle into my IV line and depresses the plunger. Immediately, warmth hits my blood, working its way up my arm to my chest, then to the rest of me.

I turn my head, staring at Hades, even as my eyelids grow heavier.

“Why?” I whisper.

His face twists. “Maybe now you’ll let yourself sleep and heal…and fight.”

For me. He brought Boone here for me.

“Thank…” I’m not sure I get to “you” before I’m out again.

The nightmares don’t come anymore now. It’s more like I’m trapped in my own body, drowning in heat and pain. Every so often, I manage to swim back up to the top for a breath. Whatever they’re trying, it’s not working. I’m not getting better.

But I’m holding on now, at least.

Hades’ voice is my anchor.

His touch. Even when I’m deep under, I can feel him here. When I’m closer to the surface, he’s never far away.

One of the times I manage to swim up and open my eyes, he’s arguing with someone. Charon, I think, though the other person is standing backlit in a doorway. Another time, he’s asleep sitting in a chair, head lolled back. He looks awful. Exhausted, with purple bags under his eyes. I didn’t know gods could exhaust themselves. I reach toward him, but I’m already sinking again.