Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

" H ey, Abby."

Judd captured her hands against his chest, steadying her from falling.

Abby stared at him, shocked by the treacherous reaction of her body wedged so closely against his: her heart pounded while heat streaked through her, an instant reminder of her foolishness when it came to this guy.

Despite breaking her heart, he still had the power to reduce her to this .

"Let me go." Her hands clenched into fists beneath his, ready to pummel his chest if she had to.

But for one, all too brief moment, she savoured having her hands clasped against the hard wall of muscle, her palms itching to explore the smooth skin beneath the shirt, just as she had on the island.

"No. I've already made that mistake before and I don't intend to repeat it."

"We both made mistakes. Letting me go was the least of yours."

She wriggled out of his grasp, torn between a desperate need to run out the door and a strange compulsion to spend a few more minutes in his company. Not that she had much choice. She had to work with him on this job so fleeing, no matter how much she wanted to, wasn't an option.

He kicked the door shut with his foot, his eyes never leaving hers for a second. "Just hear me out this time, okay? Surely as my friend you can give me that much?"

"You don't play fair," she muttered, whirling around to break his hypnotising stare.

"I'm not playing this time and I need you to believe it." He spoke in a rush as if he couldn't get the words out quick enough. "I'm sorry for screwing up before. I owe you an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything," she said, trying to push past him and open the door.

"Please, sweetheart."

His whispered endearment stopped her and she silently cursed the power he still had over her.

"Fine." She crossed her arms and leaned on the back of a chair, doing her utmost to appear as if she didn't care. "The only reason I'm still here is that we have to work together, so hurry up. We've got a job to do."

She couldn't fathom the intense gleam in his eyes, as if he knew something she didn't, and she pushed off the chair, choosing to look out of the window rather than fathom his thoughts.

"What I have to say won't take too long," he said, joining her at the panoramic window.

Heat radiated off him and despite her best intentions, she almost leaned into him, craving the warmth of his embrace.

"Get on with it so we can get out of here."

Despite trying to keep her gaze focussed elsewhere, her stare was drawn to his. Using all her willpower, she resisted the pull of his hazel eyes as they sucked her in, willing her to drown in their enigmatic depths.

He reached towards her and she instinctively shrunk back, not willing to risk physical contact when his stare was doing enough damage to her equilibrium all on its own.

"I didn't tell you the whole truth on Sapphire Island," he said. "I knew right from the outset I'd be staying around in Sydney for a while. I'd already decided before I took the shoot."

She'd been able to read him since their school days and in an instant knew he was telling the truth. His sincerity was something she never doubted.

"Then why agree to the fling if you knew you'd be sticking around? Why would you do that to us?" She swallowed, wishing she didn't have to hear the truth in its entirety but knowing if she didn't she'd never be able to move on with her life. "You knew that's why I did it, because it wouldn't be permanent, and you'd flit off to whichever end of the earth suited and we could resume our old friendship. Why would you risk that?"

He had the grace to look sheepish as he turned away and leaned against the window frame, his gaze fixed on some point in the distance. "That's a little more complicated to explain."

"Try me."

His head swivelled back towards her, the intensity of his gaze pinning her to the spot. "You really want to hear this?"

She nodded, ignoring the ache that had seeped into her bones and drained her of any residual animosity. She was past hurting, past blaming—all she had left was to settle this once and for all and look to the future.

A bleak future without the love of her life.

He cleared his throat. "You know about my past and how I've spent a lifetime trying to escape it, but the real kicker? I've done it because I'm scared, bloody terrified, in fact. What if my father's weakness is hereditary? What if I turn out like him? So I run. I bury myself in work. I don't let myself get close to anyone. Except you."

He reached out and took hold of her hand and she didn't have the heart to snatch it away. His shattered expression accentuated his revelation and she knew he was speaking from the heart.

"I've depended on you, have done since the first minute we became buddies. You've been the one constant in my screwed up world. After graduation night and that kiss, I couldn't risk mucking up our friendship for what I'd put down to basic teenage horniness, so I ignored what happened, focussed on our friendship, and it seemed to work until Sapphire Island."

He gripped her hand and she squeezed back, sending him a silent message to continue.

"I'd already made up my mind to stick around Sydney for a while because the running thing had worn thin. Then seeing you again sparked things off between us in a way I'd never anticipated, we became lovers, and all I could think was how great it was."

He reached out and tilted up her chin. "You feel it too, right?"

Abby sighed. She should tell a big, fat lie and end this.

But she couldn't lie to him. She never could.

"It doesn't make a difference what I feel," she said, shaking her head and breaking their tenuous contact. "I appreciate you telling me all this now, but it doesn't change the fact you'll run some time soon and I can't take that chance."

"I thought you might say that," he said, a surprisingly confident smile alleviating the concern on his face as he pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his top pocket. "Here, this is for you."

Abby unfolded the thick document, surprised to see a Finesse employment contract. She recognised it instantly considering she'd turned one down.

"I'm sorry, I can't work with you. It's too painful," she said, holding the contract out to him.

"Read it."

"Why? I've already turned down Mark's offer. This won't make any difference."

"I think it will."

He continued to smile at her and it annoyed her beyond belief. So he'd unburdened his soul? Good for him. It didn't change anything. It didn't ease the pain slashing her heart, swift and sharp and deep. And now he was trying to sweet talk her into working with him? As if.

Knowing he wouldn't back down until she gave the contract a cursory glance, she scanned the document, her heart pounding as the fine print danced before her eyes.

"But this is your contract," she said, flipping pages as her confusion mounted.

"Uh-huh. Check the last page, particularly the terms and length of employment."

She found the relevant section, read it and re-read it, blinking several times in between. "But…this says you're a Finesse employee for the next five years?"

His eyes twinkled with triumph as he tapped the document. "That's right. It's all there, in black and white."

Her pulse raced with the implication of what he meant but she couldn't comprehend it let alone accept it. " Five years? No-one signs an employment contract for that long. It's crazy."

"Only if a person's crazy in love and crazy enough to want to be with his best friend forever and crazy enough to want to marry her and never, ever leave her side," he said, his eyes blazing with love as he picked her up and swung her around and around till the room spun.

"You are crazy!"

She beat at his broad shoulders with her fists, unable to stem the tidal wave of joy sweeping through her as the reality of what he'd said, of what he'd done by signing that contract, sunk in.

He held her tight as she slid down his body, waiting until their lips were centimetres apart before kissing her.

"Come on, Weiss, put me out of my misery. Tell me you love me too," he whispered against the corner of her mouth, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine.

Smiling, she traced the familiar contours of his face, stunned by the depth of feeling between them. "I love you, too."

He let out a whoop of joy and grinned, the same cherished smile she'd loved forever.

"I'm never going to leave you. Contract or not, you know that, right?" He reached out and cupped her cheek, the tenderness in his eyes reassuring her as much as his declaration.

Abby didn't need convincing. She didn't even need a piece of paper proving he'd be sticking around for the next five years.

Judd loved her.

She loved Judd.

That's all that mattered, all that ever would.

Life didn't come with guarantees or time limits and she'd take every precious second with him that she could get.

"So you're never going to leave me, huh? Never is a long time, Calloway."

"You better believe it," he said, kissing her like a man with a point to prove.