Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

OCTOBER, 1943

"I wanted to tell you myself," Corinna said to Emilia, as she entered the bedroom. "I know it must have been a big shock, what you saw just now in the garden behind the Possano house."

Emilia sat on her bed, her back against the wall and her arms wrapped around her bent knees. She wished she hadn't gone past the bushes behind the Possanos' house. She wished she hadn't thought the kitten was hurt. She should have left the basket on the table by the door, as she'd been told to do. It had all sounded so right when she left the house, basket in hand. There was a new Jewish boy in town to take care of. Signora Jorelini had made it clear that they needed to feed him and support him so he could leave safely when the time was right. Emilia had felt she was doing something good, delivering the basket with extra food for him.

All these weeks that she'd been part of the supper club, she'd felt a sense of purpose. It was important, being part of this household that was trying to help others. She knew it was precarious, but she believed that as long as she followed Signora Jorelini's rules, she would be safe. Feeding Jewish people as they made their way out of Italy felt right. It was something her father would want her to do, and a way of getting through this awful in-between time until her sisters came home and life could go on. And ultimately they'd get their home and their father's shop back.

She'd told herself that if she could stay put and do her work—write out the color-coded supper club cards each day and make the food deliveries each evening—she would be okay. With each day that passed, she was a day closer to when her sisters would arrive.

But now something huge had changed. Corinna was in love with the Jewish boy wanted by the Nazis. Corinna was sneaking off to be with him. How long could this go on? What would this lead to? Were they in more danger? After all, he was wanted by soldiers…

"Emilia, we need to talk," Corinna said. "Please look at me."

Emilia slowly lifted her head. Corinna had asked her to, and she always did what Corinna asked. She loved her. But she couldn't look at her now. She looked at the window instead. She didn't understand at all what she was feeling. Embarrassment? Anger? Fear? She wished Corinna would go away and leave her alone at this moment. All she knew was that love was dangerous. She'd seen her two older sisters fall in love at the castle—Annalisa with a handsome musician named Aldo; and Giulia, who had flirted so with the young boatman, Vincenzo, who delivered goods to the island. And now her sisters were missing. She assumed they were coming back for her, but she didn't know where they were or how much longer they would take.

Who knew what might have happened if they had not fallen for those boys? Maybe they'd have made wiser decisions. Maybe they'd be with her now. Or maybe the three of them would be on their way to America. She remembered how distracted Annalisa had been the closer she grew to Aldo, how being with him had seemed to become a bigger priority than getting Papa's medicine and bringing it home.

And yet that's what she'd seen today, once again. Two people in love. And she didn't want to have seen it. The way Corinna and Tomas had held each other, their hands searching each other's hair, faces, arms. The way Corinna had lifted her chin and Tomas had pressed his lips to her neck and the curve that led to her shoulder. It had been both beautiful and terrifying, and Emilia had felt her face grow hot before she dropped the basket to the ground and ran away.

The last thing she'd seen was Corinna pull away from Tomas, evidently startled by the noise she made as she ran off. She hoped someone had found the basket of food on the ground and brought it to the house. She didn't want to have to explain to Signora Jorelini why the dinner hadn't been properly delivered.

Corinna sat on the bed. She pulled Emilia's arm gently, so her fingers around her legs unclasped. She held Emilia's hand between both of hers.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him sooner," she said. "I hated keeping this secret from you. But when I left Rome, I didn't know when I'd see him again. And the thing is, Emilia—I love him. And he loves me, too. Our future is together. I'm sorry you were so surprised. But now you know. Now you're involved. And I need your help."

"But I don't want to help," Emilia said. "You can't be in love now. I watched my sisters fall in love and everything fell apart. And now they're missing, and I don't know how long it will be until they finally come back. We have work to do here, important work. The people who are fleeing need us. Being in love—it messes up everything."

"No, no, that's not true," Corinna said. "Love makes things better. The work we are doing, Tomas is a part of it. And he's Jewish. And he needs help, like the others do."

She went on to explain that she'd met him in Rome, through mutual friends. He was pursuing a degree in engineering at the university when he was forced to withdraw. He'd kept on studying with some other Jewish students and a few brave professors, but when the Nazis took over Rome, fewer and fewer teachers were willing to continue with them. The possibility of arrest was so high.

"He's so smart and so gentle, and so kind," Corinna said. "We spent one whole night sitting in the park near the school, just talking, just talking about the world we wanted to live in. He isn't like anyone I've ever met. He loves that I came to Rome to study, and that I want to be a teacher. He thinks I'm adventurous and brave. And beautiful." She blushed.

"Everyone thinks you're beautiful," Emilia said.

Corinna ignored her, lost in her memories. "And it broke my heart hearing his stories about his family. His mother and father and three younger brothers. He thinks they were probably sent to Poland. He's so scared of what may happen to them."

Emilia looked down. This she could relate to. She knew how it was to worry about family.

"And he has such dreams—of leaving Italy, of going to Switzerland, of being free," Corinna continued. "He believes that this will all end one day. He makes me hopeful. We both are sure that one day we'll live in a world that will be better, and we'll be better people for having lived through this. Oh, how can I make you understand, Emilia? You're only fifteen. But think about your father. Think of your parents, who loved each other and built a life together, even though your mother's family was against it…"

Emilia thought about her father, how gentle he was, how giving. How he never stopped loving her mother. Each year on the anniversary of her death, he'd tell her and her sisters the story of how he'd fallen in love with her while making clothes for her wealthy family. How he could never stop thinking about her. How she loved him so much, she was willing to walk away from her family, who never would accept her marriage to a lowly Jewish tailor. How their love was more important to them than anything.

"‘I am my beloved's, my beloved is mine,'" Emilia murmured. It was the prayer her father would say each year on the anniversary of her death. The promise they'd made to each other, the sacred words he said they'd recited on their wedding day.

"Exactly," Corinna said. "‘I am my beloved's, my beloved is mine.' That's all there is to say."

Emilia looked up. The memory of her father, and her father's love for her mother, never failed to move her. She was here in this world, waiting for her sisters, waiting for her future, because of that irrepressible love her parents had shared. Even after all those years without her, her papa never stopped loving her mother. How did you fight a feeling so strong?

"He started getting involved with the Resistance," Corinna said. "He could break codes so easily, his mind worked that way. They would show him messages from the Germans that they'd intercepted, and he was able to make sense of them. He would pass the messages to the fighters in the field who were orchestrating the attacks against the Nazis in Rome, which is how he became involved with the transfer of grenades. All we wanted to do was help keep the Nazi organization in disarray and fear, to buy time for the Allied forces to make their way north and finally win the war. I started to help, too. I delivered the messages. We were all so idealistic. We thought we could change everything."

"You could have been killed," Emilia said. "And your mother would have been so sad to lose you?—"

"But I wasn't killed. It was a risk, but it was necessary. We were doing what's right. We were trying to make things better."

She looked down, letting go of Emilia's hand. "And then it happened," she said. "For so long his family—his parents, his brothers—had been living safely. The Germans demanded money at first, that's all, and his family contributed as much as they could. Lots of Jews were going into hiding, and his family was getting ready, too. There was a church that would hide them all. But the Nazis were after Tomas because of the intercepted messages. He just happened not to be home when they came.

"We'd both agreed we'd come here if things got bad," she said. "I'd told him about Caccipulia, how it's a beautiful little town with so much good. He sent word to me to leave. If he was in danger, then I was, too. That's why I left Rome."

The idea that Corinna had helped with the messages, and the Nazis could be after her, too, was too frightening to imagine. The thought of Nazis coming into Caccipulia, searching for Tomas, was unbearable. He had to go somewhere else. They had to search for him somewhere else. Every minute he was here was one minute too long. His being here put everyone in town at risk. Corinna. The Jews who were hiding. The people who were helping the Jews, like Signora Jorelini. And maybe even me , she thought.

"He has to leave," Emilia said. "He has to leave our town."

Corinna nodded. "You're right. He does. And he will leave. He's leaving for Switzerland as soon as he can. He just has to wait until he gets the go-ahead that it's safe. They'll be bringing him a new set of travel documents. He can't use his real name now."

"How long will that take?" Emilia asked, her voice trembling.

"I don't know. Hopefully not long. But the thing is, Emilia…when Tomas leaves for Switzerland, I'm going with him."

"What?" Emilia said. "No, you can't!" It struck her hard, the idea of being left behind again. The way her sisters had left her. Corinna was like a new sister. She couldn't lose another sister, not again.

"We plan to get married and build a good life together," Corinna said. "We both want a family, we both want to be surrounded by children, to grow old with each other, seeing our children grow up and start families of their own. And we will return, one day. We are young, Emilia. You and me and Tomas. We will make a better world. We will build a world that we can be proud of. It will happen."

Emilia got up and walked to the window to look in the direction of her home, the home that now housed others. She wanted to resist all that Corinna was saying. She wanted to beg Corinna not to leave her. But she saw the look in her eyes, the feelings she had when she said Tomas's name. And it touched her so deeply. She knew it was exactly what her father had seen when he looked into her mother's eyes. The odds had been stacked against Papa, too. Mama's family had wanted him gone. But Mama didn't care—that's what her father had said. They had a future together. And Emilia and her sisters were here because the two of them hadn't let anything stand in their way.

And maybe it wasn't love that had led her sisters to become separated from her, Emilia thought. Maybe it wasn't the connections they'd made. Maybe it was just this war, this awful war. Maybe love wasn't to blame. Maybe it was the solution. The cure to the sickness of the world. Maybe it was like the medicine her sisters had wanted to bring home to Papa. Maybe it was the antidote to everything that was bad.

"What is it you need me to do?" she asked Corinna.

"It's not safe for me to show up at the Possano house, as I did today," Corinna said. "We were lucky that it was only you who found us. There are people in this town who don't like what we're doing with the food, helping the Jewish people escape. They would hate knowing that we have Tomas here. They would be scared. And my mama would never let me see Tomas, if she knew I loved him. She'd keep us apart. So we need to find ways to be with each other, secret places to make our plans. And you are a part of that."

"Me?"

"The supper club cards," she told her. "They are our ticket. You must put new codes that I will give you on the menu cards that go to the Possanos—drawings meant only for Tomas. They will tell him where I will be at midnight, so that he can come meet me. You have to be the one to make the drawings, and Mama has to see you do it, so she won't suspect that something unusual has happened. Just tell her you decided to decorate the cards with drawings. And it's just between you and me, okay? No one else can know anything about this."

Emilia took in all that Corinna had said. She could accept the idea of helping Corinna and Tomas be together. It reassured her, knowing they thought there was a better future ahead. She wanted to help people who loved one another as her parents had loved each other. I am my beloved's, my beloved is mine . If that was how Corinna and Tomas felt about each other, how could she stop them? Or fail to do anything she could to help them? She believed in love, too. She believed in love.

"Okay," she said. "I'll help. But promise me one thing."

"Yes?"

"Promise me you won't leave until you have to. Promise me to try to stay. And when you leave, promise me you'll tell me before you go. I couldn't bear it if I didn't get to say goodbye."

Corinna reached out and hugged her. "Don't worry," she said. "You will know."

That night, Emilia wrote a quick letter to her sisters.

I have a secret. I will tell you about it when I see you. When we leave this horrible world behind, I will tell you everything.

The next day as Signora Jorelini was doling out the evening's meals, Emilia came into the kitchen and began writing out the supper club cards. When Signora Jorelini glanced her way, she began to sketch the "code" Corinna had given her that morning. She drew a stone fountain in the middle of a pool of water surrounded by stones. Tomas was good at breaking codes, Corinna had said. He'd quickly figure out that she'd be waiting at midnight at the fountain in the town square.

Emilia held up the supper club card for Signora Jorelini. "Do you like it?" she asked. "I thought it would be nice to add a decoration."

"Very pretty," Signora Jorelini said and went back to packing up the food. Corinna had been right. Signora Jorelini barely took note of the illustrations.

That night, Emilia heard Corinna get up and steal out of the house. Emilia waited, forcing herself to stay awake. After a half hour, when Corinna didn't come back, Emilia knew the code had worked.

She would find out tomorrow what code Corinna needed her to write next.