26. Liam

CHAPTER 26

LIAM

Working on a Sunday after being at a late-night wedding does not make me the nicest guy to be around. I’m normally calm and unflappable, but it’s taking maximum effort to hide my mood this morning. I’m worried about Ethan and Mikayla. He looked like shit last night, and I didn’t want him driving. He promised me he wasn’t drunk, but I hadn’t been keeping a close enough eye on him to know for sure. His breath didn’t reek of alcohol, but I couldn’t relax until I heard from him a few hours later.

Crashing at Dad’s.

That’s all he said, so then I tossed and turned, wondering why he hadn’t gone home. It’s obvious that his marriage is in trouble, but it’s not over, right? Shit, that would break everyone’s hearts. Mikayla and Ethan are endgame. If they can’t make it, what chance do the rest of us have?

And that made me pull Rachel into my arms and hold her close while she slept. My touch stirred her, and she turned her head to kiss me, her ass nudging back and inviting me to wake her up with a little loving. I knew she was exhausted, so I kept it simple, sliding into her from behind while we lay on our sides. I caressed her body and enjoyed her reckless groaning, working her clit while I rode her. She orgasmed just before me, her inner walls clutching me until I spasmed inside her. She milked me dry, and we drifted right back to sleep, my hand tucked beneath her boob and her body secured against mine.

I can’t lose her, but what I wouldn’t give to have those times we make love result in something more. I wish I could give her everything she wants. Not that she’ll be able to get that with another guy either. Her body doesn’t seem capable of growing a baby, no matter how hard we try. It hurts me, too, but I get the feeling she’s more heartbroken than I am. As long as we have each other, we’ll be all right…

But what if I’m not enough?

You are.

And logically, I know this is true, but I’m not feeling it this morning, and it’s making me a grumpy ass.

I just wish there was some way I could make this adoption thing happen faster. Rachel’s ready for a kid now. I’m ready for a kid now. Watching Casey’s face when he announced the birth of Lyla was golden. I want that. I want to be a daddy.

“Liam.”

“What?” I bark, then instantly wince. “Sorry.” I clear my throat and spin in my chair, trying to put on a smile. “What’s up?”

Officer Reed stares at me, her eyes narrowing. “You okay?”

“Yep.” I nod, trying to make my smile wider.

“All right, well…” She shakes her head, obviously not believing me as she walks over with a manila folder. “I just need you to double-check this accident report from Friday and sign it off for me.”

“Oh, yeah.” My stomach sinks, thinking about those poor kids. Social services came to collect them. The baby was sleeping, and the little boy had softened to quiet whimpers against my chest by the time the woman arrived. She was sweet and kind, coaxing Carlos into her car. He seemed scared, but I spoke to him in Spanish, assuring him everything would be okay.

Watching his little face peering through the glass with that worried frown was a killer. I just hope they can make it back to family soon. People they’ll feel safe with. People who can help them heal.

“Do you know if they got hold of the family?” My pen scratches across the paper as I sign my name.

“Yeah, it’s heartbreaking.”

I pause, my pen frozen in midair as I forgo my next signature and glance at her. “What do you mean?”

“They’ve only got three grandparents and one uncle who all live in El Salvador. They don’t want the kids back.”

“What?” I rush my signature, botching it, before slapping the folder closed. “Why?”

“They insist they’ll have a better life staying in America. Both kids were born here, so they’re citizens, and the family doesn’t want them being sent back home.”

“So, what’s going to happen to them?”

“They’ll be placed in foster care.”

“And that’s better than being with family?” I balk.

“I know.” She shrugs. “I can’t decide how I feel about it. I mean, on the one hand, you’re like ‘come on, they’re family,’ you know. But then I guess you could be thinking, ‘wow, what a huge sacrifice they’re making for these kids.’ They’ll definitely have more opportunities here than there.”

“Not if they’re stuck in a foster system where they get bounced around.”

“Well, the family is obviously hoping some lovely people will adopt them, but…” She shakes her head with a sad frown. “As we well know, that’s not always the case.” She sighs. “There are so many great foster parents out there, but there are also some horrible situations. It’s so unsettling for little kids, you know? I just hope these two have a success story, especially with the trauma they’ve already faced. Whoever they end up with is going to be dealing with their pain. It’s a big ask, but there are a lot of bighearted people out there, and we just have to hope these kids end up in a home that can nurture them, you know?”

Officer Reed tucks the folder under her arm and walks away from the desk I’m using. My heart is pounding for reasons I can’t explain… until my slow-ass brain finally clicks. I snatch the phone off its charger.

Rachel answers after three rings. Her voice is quiet, and I can tell she’s tired and probably feeling kind of melancholy after everything that happened yesterday. She would have given anything to be holding a precious little girl in her arms.

Well, maybe she can.

“Hola, cari?a.”

“Hey. How’s your shift going?”

“Just paperwork at this stage. No emergency calls I’ve had to deal with, so that’s great.”

“Good.”

Damn, I love her sweet voice so much.

My breath catches just before I blurt, “You know the accident I told you about? The one that made me late for the rehearsal dinner?”

“Yeah. There’s an article about in the local paper. I was just reading it online. Those poor kids. Have you heard how they’re doing?”

“Actually, that’s why I’m calling. I haven’t spoken to social services yet, but… how would you feel about a foster-care situation?”

She pauses, and I can picture her face. She’s probably blinking while she thinks, or maybe brushing her bangs aside like she does when she knows she’s going to say something I might disagree with. “I don’t know, Liam. I’d much rather adopt, even if that means waiting longer. I just can’t bear the thought of falling in love with kids I’ll then have to lose or give back or say goodbye to.”

I lick my lips, nodding my understanding. “Thing is, there’s a chance this situation could turn into an adoption. The family is from El Salvador, and they’re saying they don’t want the kids sent back.” I let out a soft sigh while Rachel gasps.

“They don’t want them back? Why?”

“Right now, they’re saying the kids have a better chance in the States. More opportunities, you know?”

“But… they need their family.”

“I know.” I nod, picking up my pen and tapping it on the desk. “Or they need a family. People who can love and care for them while they deal with their trauma.”

Rachel doesn’t say anything, and I let that thought sit for a minute.

“Ray, I think we should take these two. Even if the family changes their minds later, these kids need us right now, and that’s more important than our fear of getting hurt down the line, you know? We can give them a safe home. A place to heal. We’d just have to take one day at a time.”

Rachel’s swallow is thick, followed by a trembling breath.

I grip the phone, pressing it to my ear while I give her time to think this through. I’m just opening my mouth to say more, but she speaks before I can.

“Okay,” she whispers. “Let’s do it. If social services will let us, let’s take them for as long as we can have them.”

A rush of emotion swamps me as I suck in a breath and start to nod. “Okay. I’ll call now.”

“Okay.” Her voice is soft and breathy, matching mine.

“I’ll call you back as soon as I’ve spoken to them.”

“Okay.” She lets out a wispy laugh. “I’ll just be the one pacing by the phone.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hey, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

I grin. “I love you.”

I can picture her smile and swear I hear her teeth brushing over her bottom lip before she whispers, “I love you too. No matter what. Always.”

“Always,” I gently reply, then hang up to make the most important call of my life.