18. Ethan

CHAPTER 18

ETHAN

Mikayla arrives at the rehearsal dinner looking so stunning my chest hurts. Her hair’s up in a stylized ponytail thing, and she’s got these long, dangly earrings swishing against her shoulders. And then there’s the dress—holy fuck, the dress! It’s midnight blue, hugging her curves in all the right ways and only just covering her ass. I’m mesmerized by her hips, watching them sway as she walks toward me. Then I glance up at her face and the air gets stolen right out of my lungs.

Damn, I’ve missed her. It’s been a shitty couple days in Nolan without her, and although we’ve texted a few times, we haven’t spoken, and the stone in my stomach is getting heavier by the day.

She gives me a brief, closed-mouth smile, adjusting her dress as she walks toward me. She’s in heels, so I don’t have to bend down so far to kiss her. My hand trails along her curves, lightly squeezing her ass as we pull back from the kiss.

“Hey.” Her eyes dart up to mine, then quickly away.

Shit, I shouldn’t have just left her the way I did—the note on the table was a bit of a dick move—but I was pissed. And it’s not like she’s apologized for saying she’d be home and then not communicating with me at all. Does she expect me to just sit around the house waiting for her all the time?

Regret and anger vie for top position in my chest, and I don’t know which to settle on.

Her small fingers thread between mine, and she pulls me into the restaurant before I can tell her how pretty she looks.

Fuck. What is happening to us?

We’re physically connected, yet I’ve never felt so far from her.

Our relationship has always been this fun, upbeat thing… and I hate the place we’re in right now. There’s no laughter and teasing. Fuck, we’re barely smiling at each other. And it’s all because of her fucking job. It’s stealing my wife away, and it kills me that I don’t know how to stop it.

“Yay, you made it.” Tammy laughs, pulling Mikayla in for a hug. “You look so freaking gorgeous!”

Mikayla smiles at her, brushing her hand through the air with a “this old thing?” expression on her face.

Tammy shakes her head. “Don’t go selling yourself short. You’re hot, girl. Own it.”

Dipping her hip with a little laugh, she takes the compliment, but I can tell she’s tense. I miss my girl. How the fuck do I get her back?

“Mick.” Rachel glides over, her long dress billowing out around her legs as she walks our way. She pulls her friend into a tight hug, and they murmur shit I can’t hear.

I turn, raising my chin at Casey, who beckons me over to his table.

The guys have been a great support the last couple days. I opened up a little before Baxter’s bachelor party, which kind of put a downer on things, but I solved that problem by getting rip-roaring drunk and waking up in the Ponderosa pool house with a monster headache and pretty blurry memories of the night before.

Liam was kind enough to feed me Advil and water for the morning. Rachel made me this weird-ass smoothie that was green but tasted okay. I was feeling semi-coherent by lunchtime and decided to hang with Asher and Lani for a bit, but then I spent the whole time watching the irritating smiles they kept giving each other. They have some secret joke or something between them, and it’s really starting to grate on my nerves. It’s like they’re more loved up than the last time I saw them, and it’s pissing me off because I’ve never felt so distant from Mikayla, and she’s my wife . Asher and Lani aren’t even fucking engaged, let alone married!

Fuck!

Slumping back in my chair, I try to hide the torrent ripping through me. I can play pretend, right? No one needs to know that Mick and I are struggling. It’s just a phase, isn’t it? Once she finally gets her head on straight and quits this damn job, we’ll find our mojo again.

What if she never quits?

My insides pinch into a painful knot, and it’s an effort to raise my lips into a smile when she finally takes a seat next to me. She took her sweet time, talking to Rachel for ages until Liam arrived.

I snatch my chance to connect with her and softly whisper against her ear, “Rachel all good? I noticed some tension between her and Caroline.”

“Baby stuff,” she mouths, and I know better than to ask for details right now. Poor Liam and Rachel have been trying for years, while Casey and Caroline are popping out babies left and right.

Liam did mention that they’re looking into adoption, but I haven’t heard the latest. He texted before to say he was running late, and now that he’s here, I want to ask him more. “Work emergency” was all Rachel could tell me when I arrived at the restaurant.

She didn’t seem too flustered by it. I guess she’s used to him working overtime. So why the hell do I get so bothered by Mick’s overtime?

Because she doesn’t get paid for it.

Because Liam’s a cop and doesn’t have control over when people decide to be idiots. It’s not like he can walk away from an emergency. Mick doesn’t have emergencies at her job!

Waiters start bringing out food, and I pick at my meal. I want to devour this shit because it’s delicious, but my stomach is too tense. Mikayla seems to be the same and even offers me a roast potato off her plate. She’s barely touched a quarter of the food, but I shake my head. She frowns at my refusal. When am I not stealing food off her plate?

When my insides feel like one giant ball of knots. That’s when.

Skimming my hand down her back, I try to pull out a few second-nature moves in the hopes of finding some sense of normal, but she tenses beneath my touch.

Fuck. We have to talk about how I left things.

“Hey, lil mouse.” I soften my voice, aware we’re in a crowded room but knowing we have to break this ice… even if it is in front of a bunch of people.

She glances my way and can obviously read the look on my face, because her expression buckles and she shakes her head. The look of pleading in her eyes is telling me she can’t do this here, and I get that, but…

Shit, getting her to talk about how she feels has always been impossibly hard. Maybe I can take her?—

Tink! Tink! Tink!

Asher taps his fork against his wineglass, grabbing the attention of the room.

“Speech!” Casey pumps his fist in the air. “Go, Bax-Man!”

Baxter cringes as we start to cheer. Mikayla grins, clapping loudly beside me. She’s probably relieved by the distraction.

Bax clears his throat and looks down at Tammy. He holds her hand like he’s drawing strength from her.

“I, uh…” He clears his throat again and checks his cards. “Thank you all for coming. Tammy and I are so happy you could make it.”

“Finally!” Asher heckles him, and everyone starts to laugh.

“True. Looks like we’re actually going to make it this time.” His face lights with a grin. “Thanks for sticking with us. I love this beautiful woman beside me so much.” He turns his smile to Kai and winks at him. “My family is the most important thing to me, and being able to make it all official tomorrow is something I’ve wanted for a long time now. We?—”

A phone beside me starts ringing. It’s on full fucking volume and draws the attention of the entire room. All eyes swing our way, and I glance at Mick, who is turning beet red.

“Shit,” she mutters under her breath, digging it out, then wincing at the screen. Bolting out of her chair, she makes an escape out the side door, answering the call instead of ignoring it.

What the actual fuck?

I frown after her, reeling at the fact that she took the call during Baxter’s speech.

Gritting my teeth, I sit back, my muscles tense as I listen to the rest of my friend’s gushy tribute to his bride-to-be. I’m fuming by the time he’s done, stalking out of the room to follow Mick while the guests applaud, then raise their glasses in a toast to the couple.

It doesn’t take long to find my woman. She’s pacing in the hallway, her heels digging into the rug and her ankle slightly twisting when she reaches the wall. With a huff, she pulls it off, dumping it down and hissing, “I told you I’m booked this weekend. You said it was okay. You signed off on this!”

My eyebrows wrinkle. I hate hearing her in distress. It makes me want to rip the phone out of her hand and yell at Ryan, tell him to fucking leave her alone.

“You did what?” she balks. “When?” She scoffs, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “You should have told me that!” Clenching her jaw, she listens to the rest of the call, pulling off her other shoe while sighing, “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Whatever it takes, right?”

I frown, not liking those words one bit. Hating the defeated slump of her shoulders.

Where’s my fighter gone? Where’s my Mick?

“I can’t tomorrow… One of my best friends is getting married. I told you that… Can’t they just delay?” She rolls her eyes. I’m pretty sure she’s aware of me standing here but doesn’t want to acknowledge that fact. “Yeah, I get it… Yes, I’m grateful. Thank you.” She’s saying it, but she isn’t meaning it.

Her expression looks anything but grateful as her nostrils flare and she says a terse goodbye before hanging up.

“What was that about?”

She glances up but doesn’t look me in the eye as she crosses her arms and shrugs. “Just a work thing.”

“You look pretty pissed.”

“Yeah, I just…” She holds up her phone, then sighs, rubbing her forehead and wincing.

“Mick, what did Ryan want this time?”

She blinks in surprise, but of course I know who she was talking to. Ryan is always calling her with bullshit tasks that she hates.

“He was just updating me on some changes to Axel’s contract.”

“The one he signed the other day?”

Mick nods, then mutters, “Apparently they made a couple changes to it while I was in the bathroom. Talking to you.”

I can’t help noting her slightly accusatory tone, and I frown at her. “What kind of changes?”

“Just an amendment that says I need to be present at a few events that Axel will be appearing at for this sponsorship thing.”

“What?” I bark. “That’s bullshit. They can’t do that without telling you.”

“Yeah, well, they did, and you know that I can’t make a big fuss about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have a performance review coming up. Because I could lose my job if I don’t do what I’m told.” She bulges her eyes at me like I’m stupid, and I can’t contain this anymore.

“Then lose the fucking job!” I practically yell.

She bristles. “I’ve worked too hard to just walk away. Stop asking me to give up on my career.”

“But this isn’t the career you wanted,” I practically whine, desperate for her to see this. How else can I word this shit to make her understand?

She lets out a patient sigh, although I can tell her insides are rippling with anger. That look on her face is lethal. Her voice is practically vibrating as she grits out, “I have to do the time. Ryan can help me get my career off the ground and give me opportunities that I won’t find anywhere else. Yes, this job is stressful right now, but it will pay off.” She tuts. “And I can’t keep having this argument with you!” Her eyes flash at me like she wants to punch me in the balls and be done with it.

She wants to maim me —the guy who always has her back—and she wants to stick up for Ryan—the asshole who has no respect for her time and talent and…

I step back from her, shaking my head with a broken whisper. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“What?” She blinks, looking slightly destroyed by my throwaway comment. But it’s out there now, and I might as well keep going.

Softening my tone, I try to explain. “The girl I fell in love with would have told Ryan and his idiot athletes to stick it. She wouldn’t just roll over and eat shit because they told her to. And she wouldn’t have taken a phone call in the middle of someone’s speech.” I point behind me. “That’s our family in there, and you were fucking rude.”

She blinks at me, her face paling as she looks down at her phone, rubbing her thumb over the screen.

Guilt tears through me, and I try to gentle my voice even more. “I hate seeing you like this. Ever since you started this job, they’ve been chipping away at you. It’s like you’re losing yourself, and… I miss you. I want my wife back.” My voice breaks and she glances up, staring at me with this expression I can’t decipher.

“Uh…” Someone clears her throat behind me, and I whip around. Tammy gives me a gentle, apologetic smile. “Sorry to interrupt. I’m gonna take Kai home. And we just need to…” She points to the exit behind Mikayla, and we both step aside to let Tammy and her son pass.

He gives me a sad, wide-eyed look as he trails his mother, and all I can do is stare at him. My lips won’t even pull into a smile.

The door creaks when they pull it open and Mick flinches, gripping her elbows, then dipping her chin when her phone starts ringing again. I stare at her, my expression silently begging her not to take it.

Her eyebrows bunch and she shakes her head, biting her lip before turning her back to me and answering the call.

All I can do is pivot on my heel and walk into the restaurant again, trying to put on a smile for my friends when all I feel like doing is smashing my fist through a wall.