1. Luke
1
luke
My fingers tapped a pattern on the battered table at the pub I’d agreed to meet Joel at. I’d gotten here way too early and had been nursing a beer for about twenty minutes, fighting the urge to just leave.
The bell above the front door of the pub rang and I glanced up, but it wasn’t Joel. It wasn’t a surprise since he’d texted me about three minutes ago saying he’d be here in ten, but still. He really needed to hurry up before I lost my nerve.
I couldn’t believe this was my life. I’d spent most of my 52 years doing the same routine over and over. I’d gone to trade school after graduating high school, and got a decent job doing construction, had worked my way up, then eventually bought the company. I’d married the love of my life, had adopted her two amazing sons, and had welcomed my wonderful daughter. I’d cared for my wife through her battle with cancer and then raised my children after her death.
Even after my kids had grown up and moved out, my life had still revolved around them and work. Retirement hadn’t left me with anything to focus on besides doting on my granddaughter and annoying the fuck out of my employees by showing up when I wasn’t supposed to be there.
It might have been dull and a little lonely, but I’d been happy with my life, proud of it. And then I’d met Joel. From the second I’d set eyes on the man at the dead spouses group, as Joel and some of the others called it, he’d completely turned my life upside down. I’d thought that Helen was my one true love, and she had been taken from me too soon. No one got something like that twice. Hell, most people didn’t get it once. I was lucky to have ever experienced it. And while my feelings for Joel were not on that level, the L word had been swirling around in my head more and more.
Of course, as my children had so fondly pointed out, I couldn’t really express that to him while still claiming we were only friends.
I downed the rest of my beer and glanced at my phone to see another text from Joel. He was here and would be inside in a minute.
The nerves started to ramp up again, but I owed it to Joel to go through with this. The man had had the patience of a saint as he’d waited for my stubborn ass to catch up. He had always been honest and upfront, not only about his feelings and wishes for our relationship, but with the way his heart worked. He deserved for me to keep an open mind.
I couldn’t say why I’d been so resistant to this. I certainly didn’t judge him for being polyamorous. After all, my own son was in a poly relationship, though his worked differently than what Joel had explained to me. I didn’t know if I had it in me to be part of his polycule.
Not that Joel had a line of lovers he was seeing. Since we’d started whatever this was, he’d only ever seen one other person. It was still recent, but Joel’s feelings were growing for the guy. I’d expected to be jealous when Joel had told me about him, but I hadn’t been. I’d only felt longing. And an ache that I’d never be enough for Joel. That had been one of the reasons I’d hesitated to make things official between us. After a lot of prodding, I’d finally opened up, and Joel and I had spent almost an entire night discussing everything and how it wasn’t that he needed more than me, but that his heart was big enough to have a full and complete love for more than one person at the same time.
After that very exposing conversation and a few days of soul searching and sulking, I’d asked Joel to meet the other guy he was dating. I needed to talk to him to really understand this before I could finally make the commitment to Joel I’d been longing to.
As I saw Joel walk into the pub, looking as nervous as I felt, it occurred to me I didn’t ask any details about this other person. I knew he was a man, and Joel admitted he was much younger, but I didn’t even know his name. I guessed I’d find out when he showed up.
Joel got to the table and kissed me lightly. Even after months of those, I couldn’t get enough of them, and I fought the urge to chase his lips and beg for more.
“Hey. Thanks for doing this, amato .” My face flushed at the term of endearment, like it always did. He told me once it meant sweetheart or beloved, and my pulse always went haywire whenever he used it.
“Of course,” I finally managed. “I’m excited to meet him.”
Joel smiled like he didn’t quite believe me, but he didn’t push. “He just texted me. He should be here any minute.”
“Ok, great.”
Joel’s smile thinned into a tight line. “Just a warning, he can be a lot. He’s a sweetheart and fiercely loyal, smart. A great guy. But, well, you’ll see.”
“It’s fine. My son’s best friend is like that. At first, I was a little taken aback, but once I saw how loyal he is to River, the kid started to feel like another son to me.”
That didn’t relax Joel. “Also, please don’t call him a kid. I know he’s the same age as your boys, but he’s in his thirties and a grown man.”
I somehow managed not to flinch at that. Joel had been open with how much younger this guy was then us, and in theory, I was fine with it. After all, it wasn’t like thirty was a child. Both my boys had families of their own. They were grown ass men, and so was this guy.
Still, once Joel had gotten it in my head that he was Riv’s and Lake’s age, it was hard to shake that. Yes, they were adults, but they were still my kids and I’d always think of them that way, even when they were in their fifties and sixties. It was gonna be harder than I’d like to admit to come to terms with that.
There was no time to panic when the door of the pub opened again. Joel turned around in his seat. “Oh, good. He’s here.” He raised his hand and waved so the guy knew where to go.
The man turned toward us and—
I froze. Air escaped my lungs and all the people surrounding us disappeared. No, this was definitely some kind of mistake. There was no way this was happening.
I could tell the moment he recognized me. His expression shuttered as he tried to work out what the fuck was happening. He continued to approach our table, and Joel’s lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear anything. No, gods, no, this wasn’t happening.
The man came to stand in front of our table, seemingly unsure. “Mr. Simmons? What are you doing here? I didn’t know you knew Joel.”
“Mr. Simmons? What are you talking about? Do you know Luke? This is the man I was telling you about, caro , my Luke.”I couldn’t even react to the “my Luke” because my brain had stopped working and I could only stare in shock. Because Cameron Dexter, my son River’s best friend, was standing in front of me and Joel was calling him caro .
I’d never known Cameron to not have words, no matter the situation, and this time was no different. “Your Luke? Joel, baby, please tell me this isn’t your boyfriend.”
Joel was still trying to understand what was happening, and I wasn’t helping at all. “Well, he refuses to use the word, but I’d like him to be.”I did manage a small smile at that. “Do you mind explaining to me what’s happening?”
Cameron gestured toward me, frustrated. Probably at me for suddenly becoming mute. “Joel. This is Luke Simmons, my best friend’s, River’s, dad.”
Joel gaped at us, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, before bursting out laughing. “Well, fuck.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Fuck.