29. Keira

Chapter 29

Keira

A ldrin paces across the royal bedroom in nothing but a white bathrobe, the hem swishing against his powerful thighs. It is tied loosely across his waist, exposing the tanned skin of his ripped chest. I bite my lip as I hungrily take in the sight of him, my stomach tightening with need.

I sit on the edge of his four-poster bed, the pale curtains pulled back. Behind him immense, arched windows give a floor-to-ceiling view of a blue sky and fluffy clouds. Thick rays of sunlight pierce through, making the gold veins of the marble of the floor glitter.

This single room is massive, with a roaring fireplace, sitting couches and a writing desk, with large amounts of empty space around them. Potted trees fill the corners, giving the space an almost wild feel.

“They are utterly spineless!” Aldrin runs a hand through his loose, damp hair. “I have given the Senate everything they need to start an inquiry. The evidence is laid out for them, but still some refuse to see what is right before their eyes. Some are terrified of the truth and make themselves willfully blind. Others don’t want the inconvenience of correcting the issue. There are those who believe me, but are too incompetent and afraid of Titania to do anything about it. ”

I get up and take Aldrin’s hands, then lead him to the bed, pushing his chest to force him to sit down and stop pacing. He grunts in response. That bathrobe rides further up his thighs, almost, almost , giving me a glimpse of that manhood beneath.

I blink and force myself to focus. “It has been three weeks, Aldrin, and the Senate are nowhere near setting up an inquiry.”

Three glorious weeks of exploring every inch of each other’s bodies and joining them in every way imaginable.

He turns those amber eyes on me, a flash of panic within them.

I squeeze his hand. “You said it yourself. Titania has hamstrung the council with cowards. All they know how to do is spiral into useless debate. Look for other allies in the people, the soldiers, and the lords that have been ostracized.”

“I will not start a civil war,” he grumbles. “I will not do that to these people.”

“No,” I say gently. “But this palace seems like a great place to lay a siege. Sometimes we can’t achieve what we need to with diplomacy alone. If a battle were fought in this palace, and the blood of Titania’s guards were spilt, but the citizens of the city spared, would that be such a bad thing?”

“I had hoped to regain my power in the same way I lost it.” Aldrin’s eyebrows furrow and shadows dance in his eyes.

“You’re an idealist. I respect that.” I straighten the sides of his bathrobe, then gaze up at him. “You once said history is written by the victors of war. Inciting the lords and mob to your cause is still winning the popular vote. The high chancellor will not walk away peacefully like you did.”

Many fae have visited Aldrin over the weeks, meeting him in the sitting rooms or study of this apartment. Lords, senators, heads of merchant guilds and chiefs of low fae tribes, all to suss out his ambitions and to hear from his own mouth the disaster that will befall this realm.

Sometimes, they come just to speak to Caitlin and myself. To hear our claims of what we can do to open the portals between realms again. We make no promises, only speak the truth. There are high fae who are prejudiced against humans. Who fear that we will flood their realm in droves and dilute their bloodlines until there are no fae left.

It is a stretch of the imagination and they are few.

Of all these purists, Titania is the worst. Strange, considering there is so much human blood in her lineage that her family has only a drop of magic and many are born with rounded ears. Or maybe it is because of this fact. Her own inadequacies and frustrations fuel her hatred for us.

“I like it when you speak politics with me, Keira. You are better schooled than the fools in the Senate.” A heat burns in Aldrin’s eyes.

I lean into him. “I’m not sure if that is a compliment.”

“You’re smarter than me, though I’m not sure if that is a compliment either.” Aldrin grabs me by the waist, and swings me into his lap as though I weigh nothing.

I immediately straddle him, the silk of my skirts shifting up my thighs. “Don’t depreciate yourself.” I laugh, slapping his hard chest lightly.

He buries his head in between my breasts and grumbles an incoherent reply. I draw in a ragged breath as his fingers brush strokes across the bare skin of my legs, bunching the fabric of my skirts and dragging it up my thighs.

A thought occurs to me, and I pull back from him. “If you leave the city to pursue other avenues for supporters, your push for an inquiry by the Senate will die, am I right?”

“Yes. And Titania will do everything she can to make sure I can never enter the city again,” he replies.

“Then summon your supporters here.” I place my hands on either side of his face as I stare into his eyes. “Call back the ex-senators and lords and ladies and anyone else who supported you the first time. We need them.”

“It would be seen as a threat. A gathering of my forces,” Aldrin counters. “I’m not prepared for that yet.”

“Your armed forces, they won’t march on the capital at her command, will they? Who is their loyalty to?”

“I don’t believe so.” He says. “Cyprien says they believe they are under the direction of the Senate, but it is Titania’s secretaries who have hidden and spread them wide. She is a fool to treat this court’s armed forces as a personal threat to her rule and attempt to disperse them.”

“Does Cyprien truly not know where they are?” I ask.

A smug grin grows on Aldrin’s face. “What do you think? Does the man come across as incompetent to you, or sneaky and crafty?” My lips part with surprise, but Aldrin continues. “Let Titania believe she is more powerful than she actually is. She will overplay her hand.”

“Could you muster them for—” My words are cut off when Aldrin places a finger to my lips.

“No talk of civil war,” his grip tightening around my waist. “That army could easily split in half and fight each other, if she whispers poison in their ears. They are better off far from here for now.”

I cock my head to the side. “You have an army in this city that could be at your disposal. Every lord and lady who supports you have their body of guards to defend their estates. Even just the threat of using the people as a mob can go a long way in getting your throne back.”

I play ideally with his hair as I think back on every book I read about politics and battle tactics as I prepared to become a queen. “You need to discover the loyalties of the palace guard and the serving staff. They can move without being seen. You will quickly be able to overwhelm her personal guard in numbers,” I say.

Aldrin crushes me into him and kisses me deeply. Passionately. It is a rough bruising of lips, a colliding of tongues and lips pulled between teeth. By the time he releases me, I am thoroughly breathless.

“You have a fucking brilliant mind. Do you know that?” His callused fingers brush hair from my face.

I think back to the numerous family dinners where we discussed news of wars and politics outside of our kingdom, and my father drilled each of his children on what we thought the nations might do, how a battle may play out, and techniques each side should take. He treated his son and daughters the same .

“Does it threaten you? My brilliance?” I brush my lips against his and feel them curve into a smile.

“Only if you were on the opposite side of a battle to me,” he says.

“Never,” I whisper back.

I push him until he lays flat on his back on the bed. I tug that damned bathrobe open and my stomach tightens all the way down to my core. Aldrin lays bare beneath me, every muscle of his chest and abdomen sculptured, with a scattering of dark hair beneath his navel that drags my gaze down to his fully erect cock.

I take it in my hand and stroke it teasingly, savoring the way his body shudders. Enjoying the feel of every pass my hand makes up and down.

He throws his head back and groans, his hands digging into the flesh of my thighs.

I lean down over him, bracing my hands on either side of his shoulders, and kiss his lips hungrily. His fingers slide lazily up my legs, to the center of my thighs, passing over their apex in a rolling motion once, then twice. I let out a small whimper as my body jolts. I am already saturated for him.

He inserts two fingers inside me, curling them deep and thrusting them in and out, all while rubbing my clitoris in those delicious circles again and again.

Fire builds within me as I gasp in air, burning through my core and driving that insatiable pressure. I move my hips against his fingers, increasing the friction in all the right places, and shudder at that ecstasy that runs through me in sharp shocks.

I let go of Aldrin’s hardness to pull the beautiful silk dress clean over my head and toss it across the room.

The sight of my pale thighs straddling his tanned hips, his fingers busy thrusting within me, are enough to undo me. I arch my back and let out a throaty groan as the pressure within me explodes and I cascade into an oblivion that is so sweet.

I crawl down his body, placing kisses on the grooves of his sculpted muscles. First between the corded tendons of his neck, then the ridge between pectorals. I slide my tongue around the sculptured bulk of his abs, and lay kisses from his navel down and down that completely flat stomach to his hardness.

I take it in my mouth, as much as I can fit. A thrill runs through me at the gasps that erupt from him as I set to work, running my tongue over its tip, sucking hard and deep, and pumping with my hand what doesn’t fit into my throat.

Aldrin’s body becomes coiled tight, and his beautiful face is twisted with pleasure. It is empowering to make this man, this king , become so utterly undone.

“Fuck me, Keira.” Aldrin’s breaths come hard and fast. “Literally. Fuck me.”

I obey his command.

I straddle him and savor each tantalizing inch as I slowly slip onto his hardness. It fills me up in gradual increments to an almost impossible depth. I thrust my hips in hard, jolted motions, as the friction within me radiates pleasure that shoots throughout my body.

Aldrin’s hips move to meet mine at a brutal pace. His hands grip them and push me down harder against him with each thrust. Our bodies collide with a force that sends violent waves of pleasure bursting through me. The friction, the tension, it makes me feel like I am on fire.

His eyes are like molten gold as they watch me, darting between my large breasts that bounce with each collision of our bodies and my lust-filled expression. I lean forward over him, caging him with my arms on the bed, until my nipples rub against his chest as I ride him. It brings our faces inches apart.

The tension builds within me, and I am going to combust, right here, gazing into his eyes.

Aldrin wraps an arm around my waist and flips us in a fluid motion, his body rolling with mine so we never come apart. I am suddenly on my back, with the weight of his bulky frame driving me into the mattress.

His head nuzzles my neck as he pounds into me. I wrap my legs around his waist, clinging on for dear life. He drives that massive cock into me, harder and faster, until I am crying out and my inner muscles are clenching around him, because it is so deep and perfect.

I am engulfed in his scent, the earthy, almost floral aroma of his hair and the sweat that slicks his body. His low, panted growls fills my ear.

Pleasure builds to an almost unbearable point, tightening within me until I am so coiled up with tension that I explode into a cascade of blissful release. It is so intense, my vision blurs with stars and shadows, and I slip away to another plane where coherent thought is no longer possible.

Aldrin’s entire body clenches tight and freezes moments later, and he lets out an incoherent grunt.

I wrap my arms and my legs tightly around him to cling onto each shudder of his climax that surges through him. He collapses onto me, body limp. I idly stroke his golden skin that shines under the rays of late afternoon sun entering through the window.

“Sire?” A knock comes at Aldrin’s bedroom door. “Your afternoon appointment will be here shortly.” His royal butler, Basil, says from just outside.

“Damn. I completely forgot,” Aldrin mutters against my neck, not making an effort to move.

“I have taken the liberty of running another bath for you.” Basil’s tone is full of diffidence, without a hint to what he clearly overheard through these walls.

Aldrin pulls himself up onto his forearms, peering into my face with a look of pure admiration. He brushes his fingers through my hair. Under that gaze I feel more valued than I ever have in my life.

He kisses me in a soft brush of the lips. “Care to have a bath with me?”

I respond with a smile.

His bath is more like a small pool recessed into the tiled floor, and it has an entire room of its own. The rose-scented water reaches my shoulders, and I tie up my already clean hair so it doesn’t get wet.

I should have known better.

Aldrin steps into the pool and splashes a wave of water at me. I retaliate by sending my air magic into the pool and dousing as much of it as I can on top of his head. I find myself laughing, straddling his hips as I try to wrestle him, but he dumps me back into the body of water.

We don’t get nearly enough time in there before Basil reminds Aldrin of his appointment, and he gets out and dries himself with a volley of air. I watch as Basil dresses him in his court finery.

He looks absolutely breathtaking in a doublet of black and gold embroidered silk, cut closely enough to accentuate his broad shoulders and thin waist, with matching slim-cut pants.

I find my own silk dress and pull it back on, smoothing out the rumples.

Aldrin kisses me before he leaves the bedroom.

Basil turns in the doorway and gives me a long searching look. I wonder if he is analyzing me as a potential threat. There is a fierceness beneath that calm mask of subservience that makes me wonder if he is more than a butler. He has waited on Aldrin since he was a child, and seems to have a fierce, paternal love for him.

I pin up my hair slowly, completely lost in thought, when another knock comes at the door.

“May I enter, my lady?” Basil’s voice is soft on the other side.

“Yes,” I say.

He steps through the doorway with a tray in his arms. It has a china pot of steaming tea, a matching cup and bowl of honey.

“Forgive my assumptions, but I believe this is in order again today.” Basil places the tray on the small table beside my armchair, then bows and walks out backward.

I lift the lid of the teapot and stare at the bloated herbs and flowers within, my stomach churning at the smell of it. Within is the same contraceptive tea my mother would bring me whenever Finan stayed with us, and I did my duty to attempt to bind him to our family.

Basil is definitely trying to protect Aldrin’s interests.

I choke down the disgusting liquid and don’t bother telling him I was already taking the herbs daily, so I wouldn’t get my cycle on the road .

I make my way through the opulence of the royal apartments, toward the main doors to leave. Aldrin can send someone to find me if I’m needed. I am done waiting around for men.

My steps take me through rooms with intricate marble mosaics across the floors and broad pillars of agate. The ivory walls are embossed in a multitude of metallic colors, forming intricate designs of swirls, flowers and leaves.

I pause in the entrance hall as Basil opens the door to the sitting room, balancing a tray of refreshments.

He leaves the door ajar and I catch a glimpse of the lord sitting opposite Aldrin, on low couches that face each other, still stained with dust from his travels. Their voices travel to me and I can’t help pausing to listen in.

“News of your arrival in the capital traveled quickly. Especially after your speech to the Senate. I still have my connections here.” Every muscle in the lord’s shoulders are taut as Aldrin scrutinizes him with narrowed eyes and a predatory gleam.

“You must understand, my estates are closely watched and I am practically under house arrest,” the lord urges. “But when I heard word of your return, I feigned a sickness that kept me in my bed and took a covert mission to the border with my guard. My coming here was near impossible.”

He leans forward in his seat. “I need you to know that I made a mistake when I voted you out. After what I saw…I believe you, Aldrin. I want to give you my oath and backing, if you will take it.”

I suck in a breath. I probably shouldn’t be listening in, but I can’t help myself. This is exactly what we need, but Aldrin hardly reacts. He crosses an ankle over his knee and glowers at the man until he dabs sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief.

“And what does your oath and backing give me, Lord Cedar?” Aldrin’s tone is as hard as steel. “I need more than pretty words.”

“You know my influence in the capital has diminished since I fell out of the high chancellor’s favor, but I have other resources. There are far too many like me. We still have dominion over our own provinces and together, we can be a formidable force. I can help you gain the support of others, my old allies from the Senate.. I will convince them to see the border and the corruption of the low fae.”

Aldrin motions to Basil, who picks up a crystal decanter and pours wine into two crystal chalices. Aldrin takes a long drink from one, and doesn’t say a single thing to the lord opposite him, who loses his nerve and keeps talking.

“You have more support outside of the city than you realize. Things have been difficult in your absence. Mismanaged. Food shortages. Raised taxes on the lowest classes. The low fae are quickly becoming sub-citizens. Titania has not held up on her election promises. The time is right for you to take back your throne and for the people to hear your…unconventional ideas for saving this realm.”

Aldrin scoffs. “I need to get them to believe there is a threat to our magic and realm first.”

“And they will!” Lord Cedar’s face lights up.

I wonder if he is actually enthusiastic about his king’s return, or if he is a drowning man threatened with irrelevance and Aldrin is a rope tossed to him in a turbulent sea.

Basil leaves the sitting room, closing the door behind him and out their conversation. The butler gives me a hard look, as though wondering if I am Aldrin’s lover or a spy in his inner circle. I turn and leave the apartments, somehow feeling chastened.

Aldrin is a king who would value the options of his queen.

The thought is so alluring, it stops me dead in my tracks.

I am filled with heady longing to be Aldrin’s partner in this. To stay here and see it to the end. To be at his side for all the good and bad moments, and pick him up each time this world grinds him down. My chest aches for how badly I want it, how badly I need him in my life, not just temporarily.

I have been considering myself as Aldrin’s partner. Acting as though I will become his queen, not Finan’s. I have forgotten myself. That I have my duty to return to. My realm and my people.

My fingers fly to the moonstone bracelet at my wrist, passing over the beads and their greatly weakened pull. They are milky and dull, where they once shone bright like small beacons .

Ice forms in my stomach.

We have just over a week until they close, maybe two, and we still need to travel back to Odiane to collect our seed-stones. I cannot breathe at the thought of leaving Aldrin. Of having to marry Finan. My throat tightens painfully as panic engulfs me.

I was taken away by Aldrin’s dreams, and thought they could be mine.

The world spins around me as I pace briskly toward my own apartments. I enter, then thrust my back against the closed door, running my hands across my face while my chest heaves.

I am falling for Aldrin.

If I stay here much longer, I will become desperately in love with him. I don’t give my heart away in portions, but thrust the whole damned thing at a person. Much longer, and I will turn my back on my realm to spend my life with this man who has stolen my heart.

It is like a cold bucket of water is tipped over my head. The sacrifice required for such a choice hits home. If I remain after the portals close, I will never see my parents or siblings again.None except Caitlin would know what had happened to me.

It would destroy my father if I never return from the pilgrimage, since he fought so hard for my right to cross. My mother would think I was ravished and harmed by high fae. The anchor to my home is so incredibly strong.

That bright light of a future with Aldrin filled with love winks out.

He may want my body and my friendship, but there is no guarantee he will make me his queen.

Bleakness hits me hard and fast.

I walk through the lavish apartment and find Caitlin waiting for me on a recliner in the sitting room. She is sprawled out, flicking through an introductory book on fae runes.

“You’re a difficult person to find,” she snaps, but when she glances up at me, the scowl falls from her face. Caitlin drops the book, stands and wraps me in a rigid embrace. “What happened? Who do I have to murder?”

I shiver. “I promise I haven’t meant to avoid you. ”

“I know,” she says into my hair, then pulls me back at arm’s length to examine my face. “I have given you space to enjoy your time with Aldrin, but I worry about you, Keira. I’m so afraid of your heart being broken again, and I think it will be infinitely worse this time.”

I almost break down and sob in her arms. “I think it is inevitable.”

“Don’t say that.” She stares into my eyes intensely. “Tell me what you need, and I will fight to the end for you to have it. I don’t know what is in your head right now.”

I shake my head to clear the demons clouding it. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. You’re afraid to say it, Keira. It’s just you and me here. This is a safe place.”

I suck in a sharp breath. “I think I have fallen for Aldrin.” Something splinters deep inside me at the admission. “But I can never have him. My duty is back home.”

“Fuck your duty!” she snaps. “You know what you will return home to! I will bring enough magic back for the both of us to satisfy your duty . The way he looks at you and listens to your advice…gods Keira, it’s everything you have ever wanted!”

“It’s not just that. If I stay here, I will never see our family again?—”

Caitlin huffs a breath. “Aldrin can open the portals at will. Any fae can.”

“Not without severe repercussions. Aldrin and Cyprien fought a battle over it when we first met. It's not like I would be able to come home for dinner every Sunday. I am too afraid to make myself that dependent on a man. I can’t be at the mercy of anyone, even Aldrin. Not again. Not after dedicating my life to Finan and finding out it was a lie.”

“Don’t make Aldrin pay for Finan’s mistakes,” Caitlin says softly.

“Twenty-one years is a long time to wait in this realm for the portals to open if I make a mistake,” I whisper.

“So is seven years in our realm, if you come home when you truly want to stay here.” She pauses a moment. “Is this why you think you need to return home? Because you don’t trust Aldrin?”

Gods that cuts to the very core of my turmoil and tears spill down my cheeks. “I trust Aldrin more than I have trusted anyone in my life, but I don’t know if he loves me. If he would even want me here long term or as anything more than a lover.”

Caitlin tips her head to the side and gives me a hard look. “Lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me.”

My throat feels like it is closing up, but I force myself to continue. “It is Finan that I don’t trust. If I don’t marry him and steer his reign, he will destroy our kingdom with his whims, and Aldrin will never get the human alliance he needs to save his lands.

“I am leaving him because I love Aldrin. Because my staying with him would be his ruination. I can’t sit around here and watch his realm turn to ash and die.”

I burst into tears and Caitlin pulls me into her chest and cradles me while I cry and cry, my whole body shaking. She gently strokes my hair.

“Everything we have experienced of the fae is at complete odds with what we were taught,” Caitlin says after a long time, when my sobs have turned silent. “I think the priestesses pushed old prejudices onto us. What if we are the first ones who actually lived among the high fae, and visited their city? What if no one else knows any better?”

“That’s another reason why I need to return home, Caitlin.” My throat hurts as I speak.

Caitlin’s whole body tenses up. “Talk to Aldrin before you make up your mind, Keira. Hear him out. He deserves that. You should know what is on the table before you decide what to do. I will support you completely either way, but you need to choose soon. I hate to say it, but the portals are little over a week away from closing and the decision will be taken from you completely.”

Shivers run through my entire body.

I wish I could speak to Aldrin.

For him to court me with promises, but then I will never be able to leave when I know exactly how much he would offer me. I suspect he would give me the entire world on a silver platter if I asked for it.

Instead, I will give him everything he needs, by sacrificing my own happiness.