Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Gabe

W hen Kat and I arrive back at the chateau, it's almost eleven p.m. I'm feeling the length of the day within the yawn I'm suppressing, but Kat doesn't hold hers back. Our flight leaves tomorrow morning and we still have to pack.

After Sylvie found us in the vineyard this morning, we ended up taking her to the nearby town of Libourne, which is only about nine kilometers away. It sits at the confluence of the Isle and Dordogne Rivers and is famous for its vibrant market held in the Place Abel Surchamp at the center of town. It's one of the largest in the region and offers a huge range of local products, including fresh produce, wines, cheeses and other regional specialties. We wandered through the market, hit a few museums, and I ended up buying a portrait that caught Sylvie's eye in an art gallery. It was of the valley just outside of Saint-émilion and while she didn't ask for it, I could see it touched her because it is a perfect rendition of her homeland and everything she misses. After she and Kat wandered off, I met with the gallery director and arranged for payment and shipping.

We then dropped Sylvie off for her sleepover and I talked Kat into joining me for dinner at a well-hidden bistro Esteban recommended. We dined on fresh oysters from the Bay of Biscay, lamb cooked in a rich sauce made with a local red wine produced at a neighboring vineyard, sea bass with lemon and capers, and we finished it all off with a shared strawberry tart. The meal was extravagant but on the lighter side. We spent the entire time talking business, although I would have preferred to talk about the kiss we shared before Sylvie came upon us.

For some reason, Kat seems to have a renewed vigor and enthusiasm about expanding the winery. I'm not sure what clicked with her, but she seems hell-bent on being able to go to Ethan with a recommendation that we move forward.

I obviously want to move forward and I've got my people back in Kentucky checking out the investors. But if everything falls into place as I expect, we could begin true efforts to expand the winery according to Alaine's vision and make a beautiful legacy for Sylvie to return to when she wants.

And there's no doubt in my mind this child will return here. While she has learned to gain happiness with her new family and has undoubtedly formed deeply poignant bonds with Ethan, Kat and the other members, Sylvie is French through and through. She might even go to college in the States, but afterward I know without a doubt she's going to come back one day and run this winery.

As someone who heads an empire based on something similar, nothing would make me prouder.

"I'm exhausted," Kat says with another yawn. "And I haven't even thought about packing."

"We've got time in the morning." The benefit of having our own plane means we can leave whenever we want and we're not scheduled to take off until ten a.m.

"I know," Kat says with a chuckle. She heads for the staircase that leads up to the second floor of guest suites. "But I've got to get Sylvie packed up too. I peeked into her room today and it looks like a bomb exploded in there. I think I'm going to do that tonight."

She makes it halfway up the staircase before I call her name. "Kat."

With one hand on the banister, she glances back at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are we going to talk about the kiss?"

Her expression shutters and I can't read a damn thing on her face. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Because you're afraid to start something with me?"

"Yes."

She doesn't say anything else. She just laid it bare that she's afraid and I can't alleviate that for her.

"I can't promise I won't hurt you again," I say to her, moving toward the staircase but not ascending, merely looking up at her. "I can't say that not because it isn't true, but because you wouldn't trust it."

She nods, rubbing the back of her neck. "I find things very confusing with you. I'm trying to reconcile an abrupt change of feelings where you're concerned. I think us being intimate would only confuse things more for me."

That's disappointing to hear. I had hoped she might be willing to take a chance, but because I hurt her so badly before and because I have been working so hard to gain not only her trust but the Blackburns' trust in general, I don't push.

I simply nod. "I understand."

Kat bestows on me what I think is her first genuine smile since we reconnected. "Thanks for understanding and thank you again for a great dinner tonight."

"You're very welcome."

Kat resumes her trek up the stairs but I call her name one more time. "Kat."

When she looks back at me, I ask, "Do you think we can have a friendship?"

"I think we already do."

Christ, my heart swells with pure joy. "That's good."

"Good night, Gabe."

"Good night, Hell Kat." She rolls her eyes at me and then disappears up the staircase and to the left to her guest bedroom.

When I hear her door close, I make my own way up, working at the buttons on my sleeves. By the time I make it to my room, which is right off the top landing, I'm removing my shirt. I have no qualms about tossing it on the floor near my suitcase as I'll have to get packed eventually. But I'm exhausted too and I'm tired of spending so much of my thought energy on Kat. I'm eager to fall into dreamless sleep, if I can be so lucky.

My hands go to my belt to undo it but still when there's a faint knock on my door. Pulse skittering—it can only be Kat since we're the only two in the house—I walk that way. Glancing at my shirt not five feet away on the floor, I consider putting it back on, but Kat has seen all of me and I'm not modest.

I open the door to find her there, head looking off down the hall from where she came, fingers twisted in what could be taken as anxiousness.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

Her head whips my way—roaming my chest before locking with my eyes. And she's brutally honest. "No, I'm not."

Thoughts are immediately on Sylvie and the winery. I go into protective mode, my hands going to hers. "Whatever it is, it'll be fine. I can handle all of this for Sylvie—"

Kat shakes her head, that glorious black hair falling around her shoulders. "It's not Sylvie. It's that kiss. Or rather, those kisses. At the gala, and then this morning."

"Oh," I exhale harshly, thrilled she wants to talk about it rather than sweep it under the rug the way she's been doing.

Years have passed since our very first kiss in college, years filled with memories that lingered like the faint trace of a once-familiar perfume. Now, standing close to her like this, the weight of everything unsaid charging the air, I know we're on the brink of something big.

My eyes search hers, taking in the green pools of indecision, frustration and yearning. Every emotion that's had my gut tied in knots. The vulnerability in her gaze echoes how I feel, and I'm not afraid to show it.

I can't be, not when she sought me out.

Kat bites her lip, a nervous movement I remember all too well. I also remember wanting to protect her and quell that anxiety whenever I saw it, from that day years ago where I saw how troubled she was by the daunting equations of that college math class.

Slowly, I brush a stray lock of hair from her face. The touch is familiar and thrilling, a reminder of what had been and what could still be if Kat would open up. She closes her eyes at my touch, a soft sigh escaping her as she leans into my palm. My heart trips at what might be a slip of resistance.

The moment stretches, taut with anticipation, until finally I can't take it anymore. My head bends and my lips graze against hers tenderly while her eyes are still closed. Her body jerks slightly but she sighs as if she's in a very good dream.

I'm gentle to start, taking my time to relearn the map of her lips and tongue, but it's Kat's hands going to the back of my neck and the pressure she puts there that tells me she wants more. The kiss deepens and I'm tight as a bowstring as our hesitation seems to melt away.

I've never stopped wanting this woman, even when we hated each other.

Even when we moved on.

Driven now by a previously unrealized pent-up longing, I pull her hard against me and smile at her gasp of surprise. But then she's kissing me back and we quickly slide out of control, spiraling into each other. With a hand threading through her hair, I grip tightly and gently pull her away.

Those green eyes flutter open, sparking with lust, and I groan because it makes it even harder to say what I'm about to say. "We're getting ready to cross a line, Kat. If I start touching you, I won't stop."

I've got one hand at the back of her head, the other at her hip, and yet I feel a full-body shudder ripple through her.

Eyes locked onto mine, she says, "I wonder how your touch would feel after all these years? Where might your hands wander? Would you be sure and confident, or hesitant because we've both changed?" She tilts her head, brushes her lips along my neck and now I'm the one shuddering. Her voice goes husky and promising. "I wonder if you'd lose control…"

"Jesus Christ, Hell Kat," I mutter, leaning in and brushing my nose along hers. "Are you trying to get yourself fucked?"

Eyes still clouded with passion, a certain clarity filters in and her tone is deadly calm. "Would it be wrong?"

I shake my head. "Not in any way."

She considers that a long moment.

Some would say way too long, but then I see resolve in that ferny stare. She rises up to kiss me again, but I hold her in check. Her brows furrow in confusion.

"I want you to say the words, Kat."

Her eyes narrow. "The words?"

"I want you to ask for it. I want to know that you want this."

Eyes hooded, glittering with challenge, Kat once again rises up and puts her mouth on mine, not to kiss me but to bite my bottom lip. She's not gentle but makes sure to lick the sting away.

A rumble of disapproval that she's being impish emanates in a growl. "Christ, you're a piece of work."

A complaint to be sure, but not in any meaningful way that would stop what I'm about to do. My lips crash onto hers as I lift her up, my hands under her ass. I turn, walk her into my room and we tumble onto the bed.

Kat has never been wishy-washy and when she commits, she's normally all in. But in the off chance she gets inside her head and decides this is wrong, I start to touch her in all the forbidden places. My hand squeezes her breast before my palm presses between her legs, feeling heat through the denim.

I hiss in surprise and pleasure when she grips my hardening length, then curse when she squeezes me. She's a wildcat right now, but then again, she always was. Wild, uninhibited, so fucking sure of her sensuality.

"Too many clothes," she gasps, hands going to my belt buckle.

Chuckling, I bat her hands away. "I've already got a head start. Let's work on you."

I had every intention of stripping her slowly, taking my time with every inch revealed. I want to drag this out so it never ends but Kat and I have never really been slow with things. Almost with an animalistic urgency, we tear at each other's clothes, trying to force material away from bare skin and then finally… finally, we're naked and wrapped up with each other in the middle of the mattress.

It's not until this moment that I realize, I want Kat in all ways. Not just in this bed, our bodies entwined. I want her heart again. I want a future with her, just the way I'd envisioned but didn't have the maturity or the confidence to act on.

I'm not the same man I was all those years ago. I've changed over time, and in the last two months, I've changed even more. I'm confident I can be the type of man Kat needs me to be, but she's going to be a tough nut to crack. I have no doubt she's got her heart wrapped up tight in a protective layer of Gabe-resistant armor.

I may have been that way once, but the man I am now is not afraid of a challenge. In fact, I kind of relish it.