Chapter 5

Ididn't want to let this girl out of my sight. I could feel it in my bones that this was my child, even though I couldn't explain a single thing about her. I needed my old tutor to look me in the eye and tell me he didn't kidnap my daughter. I needed him to tell me he had a moral reason for keeping her away from me this long once he did find her.

I didn't know what she was smelling since I wasn't Theran. Everyone knew Folcard reeked. He smelled bad when it was time for me to get married and tried very hard to get me to pick him. His cologne barely covered his body odor. I wouldn't have picked him even if I hadn't met Rivannus. He was also grossly ambitious. I had a feeling he was going to try again now that they were forcing me to remarry.

Still, I very much wanted her to sleep inside where she was safe. Her strange friend might be the only one who could talk her into it. She might not want a feather mattress, but he did.

"You slept outside fine for years!" she snapped at him.

"And since you gifted me, I prefer sleeping inside now. Why would we sleep outside when it's so comfortable in here?"

"You're spoiled, Frog. You like being human too much and there's so much you still don't understand."

I might have just met both of them, but I knew they were close. Frog was utterly devoted to her for changing him and she was fiercely protective of him because he was her only friend. I knew she hadn't been around many people, and she knew he was bizarre looking. He very much looked like a frog man. If you even suggested he was strange looking, she didn't like it and told you to stop.

Leodos hadn't left the room and was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. When he offered to go with her to get her bag to protect her, I saw her mouth open and Leodos cut her off and knew exactly what she was about to say. He told her she needed to just sit back and let someone else protect her. He also told her she would have to get used to it because there were going to be five guards in addition to himself with them on the long journey for protection and she absolutely could not expose herself to them.

I'd known Leodos a very long time. He wanted to kill her at first and he was being hard on her, but I could tell he was becoming fond of her. Leodos should have been a Baron like his father, but he lost his title when he refused to carry on the experiments.

Leodos and I had both been raised a certain way. Even in the privacy of my rooms, we wouldn't have spoken about the Barons like that, much less discussed Folcard's stink. Leodos always hated court politics more than I did, so I think he liked that she said whatever she was thinking. And honestly, if she took over as queen, it could really change things because no one was used to that.

She relented and allowed him to follow her out. She made Frog stay in my chambers.

I wasn't sure what to say to the strange man when we were alone. I had so many questions she'd probably be uncomfortable answering and I already knew she was sure she wasn't Lisana. Problem was, I was certain she was. I could feel it.

"You care about her a lot, don't you?"

"Frogs don't live long. When she changed me, she gave me a longer life and several gifts. She taught me many things after she changed me. She can be who she is around me and not worry about me hurting her because I am different, like she is."

"What do you know about her?" I asked.

Maybe this Frog could tell her some of the things Sorcha was saying she didn't know. I didn't know if she really didn't know or she was refusing to tell us.

"I know as much as she knows. All she knows is that she somehow ended up at Idric with Belisarus and she can do things there you're not supposed to be able to do. She doesn't know how or why. She doesn't know how she ended up there. The only reason she agreed to come here was for answers. She was scared to leave because she had always been told she would be hurt if anyone found out about her. That's why I knew I had to follow her, even though she told me I had to stay."

"Why did you think you could protect her better than she could protect herself, given everything she can do?"

"The tall man stopped wanting to hurt her when she showed herself after he said he would hurt me to get her to talk. They would still be down there with him trying to get something out of her if I hadn't shown up."

"You would sacrifice yourself for her like that?"

"She won't allow me to be hurt. I don't think that's what you're asking me. You think she's yours. We have our theories, but they are just theories. You want to know how she grew up."

"Yes, that."

I'd been talking to him simply because I knew he'd previously been a frog and I didn't really think he was that intelligent. He actually was and quite astute. Obviously, I cared about what she was and how she got that way, but I worried more about her having a happy childhood. Because that kept me up every night for the last nineteen years. I knew she was out there somewhere, but I could only hope whoever had her was treating her well.

"Do you really want those answers?"

"Yes, if I'm going to have a proper conversation with the man who kept her from me."

"I think he was overwhelmed. He found this child who could do all these things and maybe he was afraid of her at first. I think he tried to cage her to keep her safe, and no child likes that, no matter what they are. She was unhappy and acted out and he didn't know how to deal with it, so he just didn't."

"Mm. Belisarus didn't have children. He was always like a like a second parent to me, but he could always leave at the end of the day and give me back to my father if I was in a bad mood."

I needed and wanted a lot more details if I was going to confront Belisarus. Just then, Sorcha showed back up with Leodos. She still seemed irritated that he had gone with her and the fact that she was sleeping in the castle tonight. Leodos asked her to show him the flute she talked about now that she had her bag. I watched her pull an ornately carved bone flute out of her bag and hand it to Leodos.

He brought it over to the candle I had lit while they were gone to study it.

"Where did you get this? Do you know what these symbols mean?"

"It was given to me when I was young and I learned to play it. This was before Frog and there wasn't much for me to do after my lessons except play by myself. I don't know what those symbols mean. Like I've already told you, he kept things from me."

"This flute is ancient. Much older than Belisarus and I don't know how he came by it or gave it to you. I don't know what these symbols are."

"I don't know them either. He never taught what they meant. He seems to know things about almost everything, but he would never tell me how he came to know them. He taught me what he thought I should know and nothing else."

"Will you play?" I asked, thinking that playing might finally get her to relax.

I didn't just learn politics and how to rule. I had my secret lessons with Belisarus and then I had lessons in dancing, court games, and I could play the lute. Maybe we had something in common.

"I don't know why, but I'm not supposed to play until we've started our journey back to Idric."

"I don't think you should play it at all," Leodos warned. "If regular animals appear when you play this, how do you know the tribes won't come?"

"They didn't want to hurt me. I'd like to ask them why they had that reaction to me."

"You can't ask them anything! I don't want them to know where you are or how to find you. The three who saw you were criminals, and I'm only hoping they don't have means to get the word out about you. You're something special to them and I don't know if they want to use you for something dangerous to both us and you. Wait until you get home and ask Belisarus since he promised you answers now."

"You keep talking about how they only want to do bad things and you need to protect me from them, but a part of me is like them, too. If they are bad, then so am I!"

"It's not the same. The tribes aren't bad, just like not all humans aren't. There is just a lot we don't know about each other because of the war and the tribes were raised to distrust us. We probably gave them some damned good reasons to."

"I was raised to fear you. Isn't it the same thing?"

"Let's not argue," I said, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't think Sorcha has eaten all day and she must be hungry. You must be, too, Leodos. Why don't we have dinner brought up?"

"I'd rather go outside and find my dinner," Sorcha said.

She still didn't seem like she wanted to stay in the castle, and I didn't really get it. I didn't know much about the Theran and how strong their sense of smell was, but most of the Barons were back in their estates by now. The ones that lived too far away from the palace had rooms in a completely different wing from mine and my father's. Surely, she couldn't still be smelling them.

"Why would you go hunt when you can just have food brought here? Why don't you let us take care of you while you are here? I know you spent a lot of time alone, but you aren't now."

"I don't hunt. You think I would eat animals after Frog and everything I can turn into? I think if I killed something for food, I wouldn't be able to make myself change into it again."

"Then what do you eat?"

"I can find roots or plants. Belisarus taught me how to find things to eat. He paid someone to bring us food. I couldn't forage outside our house, but I know how."

"Just sit down and relax. We can prepare something for you to eat and have it brought up here. You really need to accept that this could possibly be your home," I said.

"I'm not Lisana. I don't know how many more ways to say it. I wouldn't come back here with you after you got your message. I would stay in Idric where I'm safe."

"Why would you stay somewhere you seem miserable? You said Belisarus won't be around much longer. What are you going to do there? Hide in the house you grew up in, never leaving and paying people to shop for you? Talking to no one except Frog?"

"Maybe that's where I need to be? You've both convinced yourself I'm not dangerous. How do you know the only reason I'm not is because that's how Belisarus raised me? How do you know he didn't keep from me who and what I am because I'm dangerous?"

I was going to strangle Belisarus when I saw him again. If he was so overwhelmed with her that he couldn't handle a child with normal Tempris emotions, he should have brought her back to me. My father and I knew exactly how to handle Tempris kids and once we found out what she could do, we would have helped her stay safe.

What we would not have done was let her think anything about herself was evil or wrong.

We had plenty of meat-free dishes on Nestran. Not everyone had the same senses as the tribes and hunting was harder. Since my family lived among humans now, we all had to adapt if we couldn't find game. Having the kitchen cook for her would be no problem. I'd never been to Idric, but I knew crops and spices were limited because of the climate. From what I'd been told, the food was bland and salty. I wanted to show her Nestran food.

"It can't just be the way the Barons smell that bothers you. No one is going to hurt you. If you can call to me, this is your home."

"This is not my home. None of you talk like me and there are too many strange smells. It's very different from Idric here."

"I've never been there, but I can imagine this is a tremendous change for you, never being able to leave your house. Why don't you relax and enjoy what we have here instead of just concentrating on how strange and different it is for you? I imagine you may have found the rest of Idric strange once you were finally allowed out of the house,"

Before I could think of anything else to make her relax, I watched her turn back into the house cat she was before and stalk across the room to curl up by the window. I knew she did that when she didn't want to talk. Leodos left his perch against the wall to look down on her, angrily.

"You can't do this every time you are done talking about something or you want to shut someone out. You're not going to be able to do this at all when we leave. If you're scared the guards will hurt you if they find out about you, why are you acting like a child? Everyone saw a girl come in here and a girl needs to be in here when they bring in dinner!"

Leodos was giving off the appearance of a furious, lanky giant, but I knew what this was. He wasn't angry with her. He just didn't want to see her hurt. I could tell he was trying not to become fond of her. I watched her change back, but she stayed sitting on the floor with her arms crossed.

"I knew I shouldn't have come here," she muttered.

"Think about everything you've learned since you've arrived. You've met me and my father and we are your family."

"I was stripped naked, questioned, had my friend threatened, learned Belisarus lied to me about the tribes, and you won't stop staring at me with this look on your face because you think I'm someone I'm not. And this one fucking shot me."

"And now you have people who want to protect you now that they know your secrets. I can't help the way I stare at you, and you can hardly blame me for thinking you are her."

Sorcha looked away and did not get up off the floor. I knew I was making her uncomfortable staring, I just couldn't help it. There was a knock at the door and Leodos told Sorcha to get up off the floor and stop acting like a child. She got up as the servants were bringing platters of food in. No one questioned who she was, Sorcha refused to meet any eyes as they tried to not be seen staring at her, most likely noticing the resemblance between Sorcha and my family.

Sorcha made faces every time she tried a different dish of food. I noticed she kept reaching for her goblet of milk and realized it might be too spicy for her.

"I'm sorry. I forgot you don't have some of these spices on Idric."

I felt terrible, but most of our food was highly spiced. I wanted to introduce her to it, but maybe I should have requested something milder.

"No, it's actually good. I'm just not used to my food being like this. There's this one pepper that grows on Idric that Belisarus got from the market one time and I didn't like it. It might have tasted better with these other spices, but all it really did was burn my mouth, so he didn't buy it again. This all tastes amazing. I'm just not used to the heat."

I was desperate for any bit of her childhood, but that was all she said. I wasn't going to press her because it bothered her. I would let her come to me. When it came time for bed, I dismissed my servants and was going to have Sorcha sleep in their beds. Sorcha wanted to change back into the cat and sleep on the floor, but Frog wanted to sleep in the bed and she eventually relented.

Leodos had already gone back to his chambers. I just reminded her that everyone knew her as a girl, so she couldn't keep changing here. I tried not to be hard on her like Leodos was when he reminded her not to reveal herself. Leodos never married and wasn't really used to kids.

I wasn't worried about her exposing herself outside these rooms. She had been raised to hide, like I had. The only reason she hadn't was because she had been instructed to reveal herself to me. I knew now the only reason she talked to Leodos was because he threatened Frog and if Frog hadn't shown up, they might still be in the dungeon with her refusing to talk.

I wanted to embrace her and tuck her into bed, but I knew the girl would not allow it. I got into bed and was eventually able to fall asleep.

My child was finally home. I just needed to convince her to stay.