Chapter 42

We were up early and moving soon after we ate that morning. I wasn't sure when I was supposed to be teaching Lisana and she hadn't brought it up. I was having trouble getting near my child now that she had spent some time alone with all the princes and they had all gotten worse about competing for her attention.

They were all crowding around her as they walked in front of us. I was leaning into Leodos holding his hand. I'd stolen several kisses from him, but our first time having sex was going to be in a nice comfy bed and not in the dirt where a bunch of people with super hearing would know. We'd kind of figured out what volume to talk at while everyone else was speaking where we wouldn't be broadcasting to everyone.

"Which one are you secretly rooting for?" Leodos whispered.

"The one that makes her happiest. I don't know who's in the running yet because she hasn't really said. She's not comfortable yet."

Leodos fell out laughing and several people turned to look at us.

"She's been quite comfortable enough to announce to everyone that she likes looking at all three of those boys' Adonis Belts."

I giggled.

"I think that's a family thing. I peeked when you were changing clothes and yours is quite nice, too."

"Don't you start when I can't get you alone. Why do you think the heart flower is the answer when he didn't bother teaching it to her?"

"I honestly think he took her with the intention of teaching her and preparing her for all of this, then he realized this person they've all been waiting for was just a baby and his granddaughter. Belisarus probably intended to keep her there and I guess just ignore the whole prophecy and her mother wondering if she was safe. He finally decided to do the right thing when his mortality caught up with him."

"He definitely pushed it way past when he needed to come clean because neither of you got closure. She's a handful. I'm guessing steaming his socks and underwear wasn't the worst thing she did when she wanted to act out. And I believe her when she says if the Barons have an issue with us, they are going to have to fight her, so if you'll have me, I'd love to be your husband.

"Of course, I'll have you," I said, pulling him down for a kiss.

What I wouldn't give for an hour alone with this man and a proper bed.

"She's watching," he murmured in my ear.

I looked up and Sorcha was looking behind her with the same impish look on her face when she came back to the fire and saw us together. Sorcha seemed pretty ambivalent about her own wedding, but she wanted Leodos and me together because we reminded her of her stories. I smiled at my child and was relieved when she smiled back.

We finally stopped for food and the boys were about to argue about cooking for her again. Which was pretty amazing, if you asked me. I had more interactions with the Barons than most humans, but they didn't cook for themselves. My father and I didn't either. Leodos had to learn when he got banished to Guttertown and that was the only reason he knew how.

They all seemed to think they were above cooking for themselves, and it wasn't proper for my father and I do it either. These three boys were just as much royalty as I was, but they not only knew how to cook, they were doing it to impress Sorcha and teach her about their world. And Belisarus made a lot of mistakes with my child, but I was glad he'd taught her to fend for herself because I was mostly helpless out here and had to rely on everyone else.

Neptis promised to make her some kind of Tark salad out of seaweed. He told her a lot of their food, she wouldn't eat, and he wasn't sure if she'd like some of their sweets because they weren't obscenely sweet like everywhere else on Nestran, but she just reminded him they didn't do those much on Idric. Oris left to help with the hunting and Sono stayed to babysit me.

"I think it's going to take her a while to choose," I said. "I don't think she's quite processed the idea of getting married yet."

"We don't talk about that," he said. "I teach her about what it is to be Farkhi and ask her about what it was like for her growing up."

I had an idea about how she grew up and wished it was different. Even though I knew now she would have been in danger if she had stayed with me, I wished I'd had the chance to raise her. I wondered what she'd be like if she had been raised in the castle with Rivannus and me. Leodos must have noticed I was staring off sadly.

"You'll have your chance to get to know her and I've seen how she's been looking at you lately," he said, pulling me to his chest. I relaxed in his muscular arms and waited for her to get back.

Sorcha was smiling and laughing when she came back with Neptis like she did when she returned from gathering food with Sono. Oris appeared and started cooking for the rest of the humans. Unlike Sono, who just cooked for her, Neptis was trying to teach her how prepare the salad he was making her out of seaweed. One of the Tarks gave him a small jar they'd packed, and he pulled a pouch out and told her this was the secret to the dish and began sprinkling it on the seaweed they had chopped.

Sorcha thanked Neptis again for trusting her to dry him. That wasn't something Belisarus had taught me. There were a lot of things he taught her that he never taught me and things he never taught Sorcha that I could never figure out why he hadn't.

I was still mixing up calling her Sorcha and Lisana because Belisarus had to complicate things by taking her name from her, too. I was eventually going to mess up and upset her. Especially when she finally asked me to come to the beach for our first lesson.

Lisana sat in the sand and looked at me calmly. I knelt across from her. I knew I needed to be teaching her, but I really wanted to talk to her. A lot had happened in the past few days, and I wanted to be there for her. I knew she ran when her fire got too hot so she didn't hurt anyone, but if I could keep her from doing that now, I could teach her an alternative.

"You look like you want to ask me something," she said.

"I was just wondering what your first swim was like."

She smiled. "It was amazing. It's beautiful down there and Neptis took me to a bunch of wrecked ships. I took some books that had been wrapped in leather. I'm hoping the leather protected them and we can actually read them. If you want to know, maybe if I ever get all of this figured out, I can change you and you can see for yourself."

"I'm just getting used to not hiding myself. I haven't even thought about you changing me to be like you."

"Maybe I'm supposed to," she shrugged. "Show me what he never taught me."

"Do you know the Myalis flower?"

"It didn't grow in our garden, and he never taught it to me. I'm not sure if it grows on Idric."

"It doesn't grow there. It's too cold. It only blooms in direct sunlight and it closes up and won't show its bloom if anything touches it. It's how Belisarus and my father taught me to control myself growing up. I don't know how he taught you if he didn't teach you that."

"He obviously didn't teach me anything if everyone is always yelling at me and I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything."

I wanted to tell her my theory because she looked upset. She usually did when someone brought up her grandfather. I knew she'd eventually want to talk about it because it never ended well when a Tempris bottled up their feelings and she was old enough to know that. I just didn't know when she'd be ready and after Belisarus, I didn't think anyone could force her to do anything ever again. She changed the subject. She wasn't ready.

"I can't dwell on why he didn't teach me, nor why he treated me the way he did. If all of you expect me to do these things and not leave, then you need to teach me."

I sighed. One day, she'd be ready to have that conversation because I needed to talk about Belisarus, too, but that wasn't today. She needed this, too.

"Think of your heart like the Myalis flower. When you feel yourself getting angry or upset and you're trying to push the heat down, send it all to your heart and imagine this flower there. Make it bloom with your fire. When it gets to be too much, imagine someone touching it. The flower closes and the heat stops."

Sorcha stood up looking frustrated. I couldn't imagine why this time.

"I thought you were teaching me how I was supposed to be changing things without getting upset? I'm supposed to be able to do this on my own not making flowers when I'm angry!"

She looked like she was about to stalk off and I was relieved when I called her name and she stopped, only looking over her shoulder like she still might leave.

"You don't have to be angry to make the heart flower. Making it feels nice when you are not upset and I thought that may be how you can change things without getting upset. It's like using your Tempris gifts to feel good. It's not just about being angry and destroying things all the time."

The girl blew out an irritated sigh and plopped back down in front of me.

"It sure feels a lot like being angry all the time."

"Try it now to calm yourself, then we can try it again until you feel what I feel when I do it," I said.

Sorcha screwed up her face in concentration. Her eyes were still squinched shut as she complained she didn't know what this flower even looked like.

"Concentrate please," I warned. "If you don't know what it looks like, use your imagination and make up a flower."

I could feel the heat around both of us rising. I cried to her to close the flower before she erupted. Sorcha wasn't doing a very good job at reining the fire in, so I did what my father had done when I was learning this lesson and lost control like this.

I grasped her shoulders and took her fire into myself. It was intense, but not as intense as the fire message we'd sent. I focused on forming the heart flower as fire raced through my veins. I managed to close it as the girl collapsed forward into my arms.

I held her and didn't know what to do with her. I didn't think this lesson would harm her, and she seemed to pick up on other things quickly. Even if Belisarus wanted her to be a normal child, he should have taught her that being Tempris was not just about having a fiery temper and that it could feel quite good to use your gifts sometimes.

I didn't know how close the others were and tried calling out for anyone who could hear her. Lisana could lift things with heat, but I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know if she had learned it on her own or if it was taught to her. I blew out a sigh of relief when Leodos appeared and came running. Of course he was close. He always was. All three princes were with him, and they wanted to run to her, but something he said made them stay back.

He ran over to us and I tried to explain what had happened.

"This happened to you, too, when your father had to take too much fire from you. She'll be fine."

Sorcha groaned and sat up holding her head. She asked me what I did sounding every bit like the Guttertown brat Leodos called her sometimes. I tried to explain what I did.

"It felt like you were taking my life out of me. It didn't even feel like that after I had to sleep off fighting the bear."

"Just like you called to my blood and when I gave you my fire and controlled yours when you were sending the fire message, we can take and give each other fire because you are my daughter. I didn't know any other way to help you."

"Don't do that again. I still don't know if I can die, but if I can, it felt like I was when you were doing that. I don't like it."

"You weren't dying. I always had to lie down when my father took mine when I was learning this. I lost control at first, too."

"How old were you? Your fifth name day? If I'm your daughter, I'm nineteen!"

She looked like she was about to leave and Sorcha was furious at me because she thought I had done something bad to her. It always felt bad after someone took your fire, but sometimes, it had to be done because the alternative was worse. I needed to try this a different way. The way I should have done from the start.

"Let's try this another way! A way that feels good to you!"

"I don't know what feeling good feels like. Is it like mating?

Yeah, I wasn't having that conversation with my daughter.

I didn't particularly like it, but I held her hands and told her to focus on how she felt that day when she mated. I let the heat in my body rise as I slowly sent it to Sorcha. I had my eyes closed so that I could concentrate. When I felt the air stir, I knew it was Leodos moving away from the heat.

Lisana didn't erupt this time and I could feel her taking the fire and controlling it. When I thought Sorcha had enough, I stopped the flow of fire by closing her own flower. Before I could tell Lisana to try to close hers, she opened her eyes and asked why I stopped.

"You should close it. Baby steps for now. I started this out teaching you wrong because I'm still getting to know you and don't know the right and wrong ways to teach you. I always seem to upset you when I don't mean to."

Sorcha looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. For a moment, she looked even younger than nineteen.

"Why didn't he teach me that if it feels so nice? Especially when he knew I was lonely and miserable."

"You're never going to get those answers now," Leodos told her, moving close to them now that the heat was gone. He put his hand on her head. "Your mother is here now, and she can teach you what you need to know. You need to get to know each other again. I hope you'll get to know me as well."

"Are you going to marry finally?" she asked, slyly.

He ruffled her hair playfully. I thought she would get angry, but she just laughed and shoved his hands away.

"We're planning on it. Maybe if I'm your father, you'll finally start listening to me," he teased, pulling her into a bear hug.

Leodos wasn't like this when I was her age and now I knew why. Lisana tensed when he pulled her to his chest, and I wished Belisarus hadn't raised her like she was just his student. I was relieved when she relaxed and leaned into the hug.

"Are you only being nice to me now because I said what neither of you was ever going to say?"

"I never disliked you," he said, squeezing her. "You're this little red-haired imp who never does what she's supposed to, but you grew on me from the start. If I'd known you were some reborn god who can best a bear, I might have worried less when you ran off."

"There are four kings here. Any one of them could marry you. I've never seen a wedding before," she said looking at both of us hopefully.

"This is not the proper place to hold a wedding. If you want a wedding like the ones in your stories, you need to wait until the fighting is over and we can do it at the palace. Maybe you will marry the same day," I said.

I wasn't sure why that angered her so much. She wanted her stories to play out with Leodos and me and she was willing to fight every Baron and the armies they'd send to stop it to make it happen. She knew she was a princess now. She had three princes vying for her attention. They were all good-looking, decent boys. I wasn't sure why the idea of her fairy tale wedding made her so angry.

"I'm not picking which one of these three boys I like the most if they let me choose and don't pick for me. I'm picking an entire tribe to live the rest of my life with. I've spent time with all of them and they all have things I like and dislike. There are parts of me that are like them, but there's too much that is different to live with just one of those tribes for the rest of my life."

"Who says you would live with the tribes? You're my daughter and you belong in the palace on the throne. Whomever you pick could join you there. Weren't you told you were supposed to bring change?" I asked.

Sorcha was finally telling us what was going on inside her head and I didn't want her to stop. I didn't mean to upset her again.

"I told you the night you first brought that up, and I ran away that I don't want to rule. All of you are fucking idiots if you think I'm qualified to," she said, getting up and stalking off.