Chapter 26

Frog and I were gathering mushrooms and roots to make stew. I wasn't really complaining when Sono joined us. I liked him, but there was a part of me that thought he was just being nice to me because they all thought I was this Spirus, but I quickly put that out of my head.

"He didn't teach you about this one?" Sono said, showing me what I thought was a wild weed. "It's going to give extra flavor to your stew. Want me to grab some? I could make a Farkhi stew for you."

"Um, yes?"

"There's another mushroom I haven't seen you using. It grows in tree hollows and has the same texture as meat. I'm going to go find some."

Frog poked me.

"He could be your prince like your stories."

"No way! Behave, Frog. I don't think his father would allow it."

"I think Oris like you, too, and you like how he smells."

"Frog!"

"Got the mushrooms," Sono said, coming back to us.

"Don't you dare!" I warned Frog.

Frog would try to get me married to two princes if I didn't rein him in. I warned him to behave again, especially around Sono because I like him and Oris because they smelled amazing.

We were laughing as we came out of the brush, but I stopped when I saw both Leodos and Esylle staring like they were waiting for me, and they both looked grim. Esylle looked like she had been crying. I couldn't imagine what had happened while I was looking for food.

They usually only looked at me like this when I needed to run or if I accidentally exposed myself again. I hadn't done anything this time. I was just looking for food like I had done the entire trip. Were they looking at me differently now because of what Volaris said?

"Did you receive your raven?" Esylle asked.

"I wasn't expecting one."

"Belisarus sent two. One to me and one to you. I have his message from mine, and it has answers about you as well. He's ill and worries he can't hold on until we get there and was supposed to be sending you a raven on how we can contact him. I don't know if yours has your answers, but mine does."

I didn't know how I felt about him dying. I'd been avoiding thinking about it. Even if he lied to me about literally everything, he still raised me.

"I haven't received anything. We've just been looking for food. How does your message have anything to do with me?"

"Please sit down and calm yourself. I don't know how you are going to take all of this and I don't know how to tell you."

"What could he say aside from how I am related to your family that would upset me? I already know I am somehow."

"I don't know how to tell you, since you seemed to have your mind made up about who you are not. There are things I didn't know in his letter. I'm just going to let you read it because the letter has upset me, too. I'm hoping your reaction is a happy one to find out who you are."

I took the letter. I could feel the heat rise up in my body and I threw the letter away when I was done reading it before it went up in flames. I threw back my head and just screamed.

I had been sure I wasn't Lisana. I had no idea what Belisarus had done that I hadn't been able to smell his secret. Belisarus smelled just like the market boy. He smelled human.

I was also extremely pissed that he kept from me that he was my family and never treated me like I was his granddaughter. I had craved human contact since I was a child and he stopped holding me in his lap and reading to me when I would have been maybe four or five. After that, it was only lessons from him. When he told me stories, it was always when I was in bed and he sat in a chair. He never tucked me in bed at night or did anything grandfathers or fathers did in the stories he had read to me.

He also kidnapped me. I didn't think he was capable of that. Esylle said he cared for her. How could he do that to both of us? I didn't know how to act around Esylle now that I knew she was my mother. I had been so sure she couldn't be. I was raised without a female presence in my life and I wasn't sure how that relationship was supposed to work.

I looked up and saw Esylle staring at me and I knew Esylle wanted me to be happy. Esylle looked like she wanted to try to embrace me again, but I needed to be alone. I turned into a sparrow and flew off as soon as Esylle made a move to come near me.

I forgot that Sono was sitting right next to me and was Farkhi. As soon as I reached the sky, he was on top of me trying to bring me out of the air. Why the fuck had I picked a sparrow? I had never tried transforming while I was still in the air and I knew if I let flames come off me like I had done when I was the eagle, I would hurt him. I let him force me out of the sky and onto the ground.

"Why did you follow me and bring me down? I need to be alone right now!" I snapped as soon as we were back on the ground.

"When you're part of the tribe, you're never alone. I know you were growing up, but you're here now. You haven't been alone since you showed up. You need to learn to let people help you. What did the letter say that upset you?"

"I left because I didn't want to talk about it!"

"You aren't going to feel better until you do. You let me help you before. Why don't you talk to me and let me help again?"

"Did you know Belisarus was Theran?" I demanded.

"We all know Belisarus and what he did mating with a Tark. They were banished because they'd rather be together than a part of their tribes. Banishment is worse than death for us."

"Did you know he was my grandfather?"

Sono looked at me, surprised.

"No, we didn't. If they knew she was pregnant, they would have assumed the baby would be stillborn We don't hurt children. They say if we mix, the baby won't make it. If he had come back with a child that was both Theran and Tark, it might have changed a lot of things."

"The baby did make it! His child was my father. Belisarus took me when I was a baby and never raised me like he was my family. He was strict with his lessons like he was only my teacher. Maybe I am the way I am because of what my father was and who my mother is and not who you've been waiting for."

Sono walked over and yanked me to him. He held me close to his chest. I liked when he did this before. When he tightened his arms around me, I relaxed into him and nuzzled his chest with my cheek..

"You are who we've been waiting for. We wouldn't have heard you playing the flute if you weren't. I'm guessing since you told me that he took you when you were a baby that you also just found out that you are the princess Lisana."

"He wrote in his letter that he couldn't look me in the eye and tell me the truth and he sent me here to find out about myself. Why didn't he prepare me for any of this?"

"He loved you in his own way. He took you to protect you. A secret like yours would have been hard to hide in the palace. The humans may have found out and killed you before you could defend yourself. I think if my father or any of the other tribe-kings had found out who you were if you hadn't been taken, we would have tried to be there trying to teach you and that would have just risked your safety. That's the only reason I can think that he took you and hid you."

"Why did he lie to me about who he was? Why couldn't he be a grandfather to me when I kept asking who my family was?"

"I imagine he didn't know how to tell you. We weren't expecting you to come to us this way. I would think he thought it was too much for a child to process."

"And when I got older? Why did he let me find out like this? He put in his letter he couldn't look me in the eye and tell me."

"Then that is his reason why. He loved you growing up, and it was probably hard for him to pretend he was just your tutor and not your grandfather. We weren't expecting you to appear this way and I know it was hard for my father to explain to you because you look like a young, beautiful girl."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

Sono looked down at me and lifted my chin like he was going to kiss me again. I wanted him to. But then Esylle and Leodos stormed through the brush and interrupted us. Esylle took one look at us and what we were about to do and asked Sono what he thought he was doing.

"Why do you have to follow me when I just want to be alone?" I snapped.

Sono made me feel better, but I still didn't know how to act around Esylle.

"Why should you be alone when you know who you are now? I want to be there for you and be your mother again. Please don't push me away. I've been hoping to meet you again for nineteen years," Esylle said. Esylle looked just as upset as I was.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you. Back home, it was just me, Belisarus, and Frog. I was the only female there. I don't know what it's like to have a mother," I admitted.

Esylle moved toward me, but then a raven flew down. It must be the one Belisarus sent for me. I untied the note to read it.

"Sorcha,

"I'm hoping Esylle got her raven first and told you who you are, both to her and to me. I hope you can forgive me for keeping everything from you, but I did it to keep you safe. There are things I need to tell you that are not safe to send by raven.

"You need to send me a fire message the way I taught you. You need your mother's help. You must call to each other and let the fire run through both of you. You need to focus on home and the hearth there. I've had a fire lit since I sent the ravens and am waiting for you. I'm trying to hold on as long as I can.

"Belisarus."

I still wasn't sure what to say to Esylle, but I told her what we needed to do and let Leodos and Sono know they needed to keep their distance while we attempted the fire message.