Chapter 23

Ididn't know what another Theran was doing out here. Belisarus said something about this area being a place the tribes didn't live or even go to. I knew why the Farkhi were out here, but Volaris said he wasn't going to tell anyone else about me until after Belisarus answered everyone's questions. I wasn't even sure if I'd be on Nestran when that happened. Volaris hadn't lied to me so far and I didn't think he would.

I got close enough to the camp that I could smell and see the Theran sitting with them, but I couldn't hear what was being said. They were cooking again, so the smell of the food would hide most of my scent from the Theran. My senses were stronger than the Therans because of everything else she could do. I could smell anger and frustration coming off the Theran.

I probably could have avoided him, but I'd never met a Theran before and didn't know what they smelled like. He had long, blond hair that was tied back with a leather strip and almond-shaped, green eyes. I hadn't met many people. He was just as muscular as Sono, but he was pretty where Sono was fiercer looking.

Volaris got angry, but I was glad to see Sono was back. I missed him. The wind picked up and blew my scent straight over to the new Theran in our camp, so if no one knew I was hiding in the bushes like an idiot, they probably would after he opened his mouth.

"Please come out. I've never met anyone who smells like you before and I'm dying to meet you."

Maybe he wasn't so bad. He tackled me when we first met, but he wasn't trying to hurt me. There were a lot of social cues I didn't really know about because I hadn't been around people and Belisarus never taught me, but I wasn't stupid. Hiding in the bushes was weird. Even I knew that, and he didn't say a damned thing about it.

Leodos called out to me.

"Just come out. You've already exposed yourself to yet another person."

I walked out and joined my group at the fire. Leodos was probably going to yell, but I needed to get away and run so my fire didn't get out of control and I wasn't expecting any of the tribes to be out there.

I wasn't afraid when the pretty, green-eyed Theran turned into a lion to scent me better. I'd already met his lion and had to put him in his place when he tried to roll me. I stood perfectly still as he approached me and walked circles around me sniffing at me.

I could smell confusion coming off of him. The tribes underneath the tower changed back immediately and wanted to touch me and kiss my hands because they seemed to know exactly who or what I was. This Theran didn't seem to know. Maybe Volaris was wrong when he said he knew who I was.

I still wasn't sure I could sit there and have my deepest fears that I was bad confirmed and not have to leave. Leodos would yell at me if I left again. I also wasn't sure if I would lose total control again and hurt someone this time.

I looked down at the lion when he started to nuzzle my hands with his head. He also started rubbing himself all over my legs like he was trying to scent mark me. He stayed on his knees when he changed back and kissed my hand.

"I thought you were a myth!" he cried.

I pulled my hand away. I didn't think I'd ever get used to this if it was going to keep happening. I was pretty sure there were people who liked that kind of thing. I knew I was weird. Those people thought they were the normal ones and they were the weird ones.

The new Theran and I were introduced to each other right when Sono came back and said he'd been looking for me. When I went to sit at the fire, they both sat so close to me that they might as well have been in my lap. Sono smelled like thunderstorms and downy feathers. Oris smelled like musk and pine. They both smelled amazing, and it was distracting.

I tried to ignore both of them and looked directly at Volaris.

"Tell me who I am."

"Child, I will tell you, but are you finally ready to hear it? Will you lose control or run off and expose yourself again?

"If you're going to tell me everything was hidden from me because I'm supposed to do something bad, then I don't want to know. I'll wait and get those answers when I get home and then I'm staying there where I can't hurt anyone. I don't know who I am to you, but if you expect me to hurt anyone, I won't."

I sat and waited for him to answer with my heart beating in my throat. I wanted these answers more than anything, but I didn't think I could bear being told I could do all these because I was supposed to kill people. I couldn't promise I wouldn't lose control and hurt anyone.

None of these people wanted to hurt me when they found out about me. I'd gotten to know them, chatting around the fire the past few days. I didn't know if I could call them friends yet because I only ever had one friend and I'd actually made him.

Volaris just looked at me sadly.

"I wish that old fool would have told you who you are as soon as you got this notion in your head that you are meant for something bad. You never were and you are only here for good reasons."

Sono and Oris both wrapped an arm around me when I nearly collapsed in relief. Volaris was right. Belisarus raised me. If he knew who I was, he could have cleared this up years ago instead of letting me torture myself.

"If I'm not meant for anything bad, how come I can do so many things that hurt people?"

"Sit back and let me tell you a story. Don't interrupt and don't get upset until I finish. I'm hoping what I tell you doesn't upset you at all and answers for you why you can do what you can do. Do you know who Essos is? Did he at least teach you that?"

"He only taught me what he thought I should know. I know nothing of Essos."

Volaris, Sono, and Oris all got angry. I had a feeling out of all the things Belisarus neglected to tell me, Essos was just as important as letting me know my Senso was eventually going to happen.

"I'm going to kill that old fool when we get back there. Essos is a god. He helped create us. His mother was the Spirus, and she had gifts. She created things for Essos to play with as a child. She would create for him different animals so that he had playmates. Essos grew up like you, without many friends to play with. When the Spirus saw he was lonely, she gifted these creatures she created for him to play with the ability to change form to look like him. Though the creatures could assume the same form as Essos and mimic his movements, they were mostly animal and could not speak.

"When Essos grew to his seventeenth name day, there was an attack. The Spirus explained to Essos that he had gifts as she did and how to use them. She sent him away, where he couldn't be hurt, and her creations followed him as they always had. She stayed and was killed. When Essos found out that the invading army had slain his mother, he used his gifts to give his friends thought and voice. They became what you know as the tribes today. He trained them to fight and become warriors.

"They beat the invading armies and Essos stayed and taught the tribes. The Tempris are descended from Essos. He stayed with them until he was old and gray. He had the gift of giving thought, but he never used it again. Only the Spirus could transform things like she had transformed animals into people. On his death bed, he promised all the tribe-kings that one day, there would be war again. The Spirus would return, joined with Essos and bring peace.

"We thought you would come when the humans arrived during the war, but you didn't. Many in the tribes were starting to think you were a myth. Even during the wars, we didn't know where the Vudos flute was. I have no idea how Belisarus found it.

"My tribe has been spying on the Barons for years. At first, they wanted to steal our magic. Most of them have figured out that's not possible. They have been waiting for the Tempris to lose power completely, then they plan to seize the throne. Any tribe member that doesn't fall in line and accept would be killed. They don't know who took the Princess Lisana, but they are hoping Esylle doesn't have another heir so her line ends. War is brewing. You are the Spirus returned and you are here to end that war and bring peace."

"I don't feel like a god. I remember being a kid and there is a lot of shit I don't know. I didn't know what a Theran smelled like until fifteen minutes ago and I've still never met a Tark. I've barely experienced life outside my yard, so you probably shouldn't count on me for ending wars and bringing peace."

"We don't know why you came to us born this girl and not fully formed. We watched you heal from the bear attack that should have killed you. Even if you feel pain and can be hurt, you seem to be able to heal yourself from it."

"It hurts like a fucking bitch. I'm also out of commission for minutes to days after I get hurt, and I can't heal without lots of food. I'm sure I have other limits. You probably don't want to figure those out when lives depend on me."

"This is why you need to come back with us after we get to Idric. You need to be taught."

"Why shouldn't I just fly back to the palace now and let them kill me? That would end all of this. This is only starting because they know about me now."

Volaris looked at her sadly. "If you attempted to fly back, I would bring you down. You're?—"

"You keep saying I'm here to stop a war," I interrupted. "It's only starting because I hurt Tollam and they know about me. If I flew back there and let them kill me, there would be no reason for them to attack anyone. How do you know that's not what I'm supposed to do?"

"Child, you didn't hurt Tollam, you gifted him."

"They won't kill you," Leodos said. "They will lock you up and torture you until you give them what they want. What they want is to be like you. You just found out what mating was. They will rape you, which is doing that violently without your consent.

"Most of the humans would love you. They don't want war either. They just want their crops to grow and their businesses to do well. They know it's the Barons who are making that harder for them. The Barons are basically in charge and they do want to force you to make them like you. You don't really know how to control that yet and they don't care. They will hurt you until you figure it out."

I asked because I had to know. Nothing else made sense so far, but I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do any of this.

"Do you expect me to kill all the humans for you? Is that how I'm supposed to end this war? These humans I've met so far have been kind to me and don't want to hurt me. It sounds like it's mostly just the Barons who are bad."

"We weren"t told how, just that you would bring peace. Once we get back from Idric and we start teaching you to use your gifts, I'm sure a way to end the war without hurting anyone will come to you."

I had to think for a moment. Belisarus was extremely angry when I created Frog and told me not to do it again. I still didn't know how I turned Tollam into a goat and then somehow gave him the ability to choose a form, but Tollam kind of had it coming. Belisarus didn't seem to want to teach me how to do this, but Volaris seemed to think it was something I was supposed to do and should continue doing.

He seemed to know what had happened as soon as I asked for his help. He told me the Spirus was able to create like I had done. Was he right about who I was? As much as I wanted to stay on Idric when we got back, maybe that was not where I should be anymore.

"We need to get to Idric soon before the weather starts changing or no one will bring us by boat. I don't know what Belisarus will tell me, but you seemed to know exactly what happened when I touched Tollam. I don't know how I'm supposed to end a war, but I will agree to come back with you so you can teach me."