64. Chapter Sixty-Four

Chapter Sixty-Four

Anna

" T hat's it," Toby rumbles into my breast where his face is buried. "You take me so fucking well."

My legs are wrapped around his waist, and after another two rounds of him going down on me, taking his time with me, I'm swollen.

Which means I can feel every rigid inch of his bare erection slowly anchoring inside me.

And if sex with Toby was amazing before …

It's got nothing on this.

He presses his open mouth to my flesh and suckles.

"You feel … different." I curl my forearms around his shoulders, grasping at anything that will keep him close.

He hums. "You feel better. Better than my wet dreams."

My eyes roll back.

"Better than phone sex," he mumbles and sinks deeper. "Better than any high I've ever reached." He presses deeper. "I want to memorize." Deeper . "Every inch of this dripping cunt." Deeper . "With my cock."

My hips arch, my breath hitching. "Toby."

"Yeah, my needy girl?"

I shiver, a gasp popping off my lips. "Need you."

His hum vibrates across my chest and teases my exposed nipples. "Need all of me, don't you. Every bare inch of my cock inside this pussy?"

I nod frantically. "Yes, yes."

"Then that's what my girl gets."

He doesn't slam home like I expect. Instead, he hooks his elbows around my knees, breaking my hold on him, and raises them to his shoulders.

I'm squished beneath him, my chest constricted, but none of that matters when he finally sinks to the hilt and his pelvis meets my butt.

His moan echoes mine, the fullness I feel claiming my breath, stealing my consciousness, and squeezing around my heart.

There is no more me or him, only the way he stretches me. Fills me. Takes me.

His hips move, retreating and sliding home again, over and over. It makes the headboard dance, the room spin, and my vision to dot.

I swear I see the sun starting to peek from behind my curtains, but the faint light only creates a halo around Toby's profile, transforming him into the god I know he can be.

"More," I pant.

The sound of slapping flesh takes over my ears and I don't know how much more I can take.

"Tell me this cunt is mine, Mama." My neck arches back, muscles going taut. "Tell me it's mine and mine only. Mine to come in."

I clamp on to him, my hands finding purchase in anything that'll tether me to this planet. "Yes. Yes . It's yours."

Toby shudders out a breath. "Say it again."

"It's yours," I gasp.

He bottoms out, his body pressing all the right buttons inside me that tears spring to my eyes. "Say you forgive me."

My eyes slam to his and it feels like so much more than sex swirling in those pretty eyes. "I do."

Toby doesn't move. "You knew … how?"

My head shakes and my hips try to squirm beneath him, my body set on resuming our original pursuit, but I'm firmly pinned down.

"You needed to want it more than me," I whisper, my throat constricting against the intensity staring down at me.

His mouth falls open like he's going to say something, then snaps shut.

It's that moment that I see the puzzle pieces collect inside his mind, his eyes darkening. "I'm not your first."

"No …" My bottom lip wobbles, the memories slamming me full force, and it's no longer the weight of Toby holding me against the mattress, but the burden of my past.

The one I couldn't help.

The person I couldn't fix.

"Mama," Toby growls and grips my chin, dragging my attention up from his chest. "It's not your fault."

My heart breaks, and I sob.

"Fuck," Toby murmurs and slides one of my legs down. Gripping the other, he drops to the bed beside me, tugging me along until we're on our sides facing one another and my leg is hiked up on his hip. "Tell me," he whispers in a raspy tone, his hand cupping my face, his thumb swiping away the tears.

When I shake my head, he scoots closer. His body seals to mine, his erection still buried inside me, his warmth taking over me.

My lip wobbles when the words collect on my tongue.

How can he make me feel so safe yet so … raw?

I bury my face in his chest when the vigor of his gaze becomes too much. "Four years doesn't seem like a huge gap to most people." I pause to lick my lips and blink back the tears clouding my vision. "It wasn't a big deal until we got older." The mention of another person has Toby stiffening against me and my muscles aching against the memories. "The dis—" My throat clogs with the truth of where it all began for me, so I try a different angle. A separate chapter of the story. "It started with drinking, smoking things … but then the people that supplied the stuff started hanging around far too often."

Toby's calloused fingers swipe the hair back from my temple, and I squeeze my eyes shut. "I knew about all the lies. The sneaking around. The pretending to be fine."

"Tell me what you're not telling me, Anna," he murmurs against my forehead. "Say it out loud."

"I found—" A sob breaks free, my memory of that night still so fresh that I can smell the bathroom soap, see the tainted curtain, the soiled tile floor. "It was a-an OD."

"Anna," Toby croaks, his arms circling around me and holding me close.

"I was fourteen the first time I found her."

His breath whooshes out of him and moves the hair on top of my head, his grip like steel around me.

"She survived that night … only to do it again six more times before I graduated high school. My sister broke out of rehab three times before she finally hopped on a tour bus and disappeared."

"She never stayed?"

"Once." I shake my head against him, smearing the wetness from my eyes all over my cheek. "My parents eventually gave up. Let her go. Buried an empty casket."

"And you hopped on your own tour bus," he finishes for me like the decision made sense. My parents didn't think so, in fact, they haven't spoken to me since.

But Toby understands.

"In hopes that I might come across her somehow. I mean, she'd managed to survive dying all those times, right?" I lift my head and look into the speckled amber eyes of the rock star that holds my heart. I told myself I wouldn't follow in her footsteps. That I wouldn't fall in love with an artist and follow them around the world like she did. And yet … "She must certainly be alive still."

"You haven't found her."

I shake my head. "A few years ago, I'd heard that she was living in an encampment, but when I went, she was already gone. If it even was her, I'm not certain."

"You went alone ?" Toby growls and cups my face. "If you ever get another lead, don't you dare go alone."

"What if—" I hiccup. "What if it's to a bar or a drug den? I can't ask you to do that."

"Anna, I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth if it meant you didn't have to live with the pain of not knowing."

I roll my eyes even though my heart squeezes at the declaration. "I wouldn't risk your sobriety for a hunch. You're also kind of famous. That might cause a few problems."

"Fine. If you won't promise to take me, then at least promise to take one the guys. Lugh or Ian."

"Toby—"

"Promise me." His hips flex, and I gasp when his erection slides deeper inside me.

"O-okay. I promise if you keep doing that."

Toby's chuckle fills my ears and my heart and I couldn't stop my hips from moving, even if I'd wanted to.

"What my needy girl needs," Toby breathes out and flips us, making me squeal, "my needy girl gets."

My legs are wrapped around his waist once again, and I moan when he drives his hips forward. "Toby … I-l—"

"You were promising me something else." He groans. "Open those gorgeous eyes and tell me you're fucking mine."

Chest constricting, I open my eyes and nod.

"Say you're mine, Mama." He growls his words, his eyes as intense as his hips slapping against mine, and a threatening orgasm swirls in my lower belly.

"I-I-I'm yours, Toby. Oh God ." My back arches, my body desperate to get as close as possible.

As if understanding me without the words, he leans in and shoves an arm underneath my neck, his chest flattening against mine.

His shuddering breath crests the shell of my ear, making my body shiver, and my muscles clench. "Anna," he grunts. "I'm in fucking love with you. And I promise I'll remind you every day, for the rest of my life."

I gasp.

My orgasm doesn't get the memo that my heart is bursting and barrels over me like a tsunami.

"That's it, naughty girl." He pants. "Come on my cock."

I couldn't stop if I tried.

My hips roll against him, my mouth letting lose all kinds of incoherent noises with each slam.

"Right here, Mama," he pants out. "Ready to fill this dripping cunt with my cum."

"Yes, yes."

"That's my girl." He arches back, only to drive forward and cry out.

With a swelling heart and his cries of pleasure in my ear, I let the man I'm in love with come inside me.

Claim me.

Fill me in every way possible.

I knew I'd never be the same again after Toby.