18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Layla

I shouldn't be following his orders like a puppy. I should be standing my ground and telling him he can't just tell me what to do.

So, why am I speeding across town to get to his place? Because apparently, my vagina is calling the shots, and she is telling me to get there fast.

I pull into the driveway of his two-bedroom home. It's a cute house with hundred-year-old trees towering over it, creating a nice feeling of seclusion. I've only been here to pick up Asher before; I've never actually seen the inside.

His front door opens just as I'm getting out of my car. He's changed into his sweatpants and a shirt. The sight brings me back to our hotel room.

He smiles as I walk tentatively up the front porch. "Hi, Freckles. Get over here," he says with open arms.

Who is this guy? Here I am freaking out over what this means, and he's acting like me sneaking over to his place is completely normal .

"Hey," I wave like an idiot as I approach then he wraps his big arms around me.

"I'm glad you came. Come on in. I bought some wine on the way home. I figured you would want a glass."

"Thanks." We walk inside, and he closes the door, leading me over to the family room.

His place is decorated nicer than I expected. I thought it would be a bachelor pad with mismatched furniture and nothing on the walls. I was wrong.

The brown leather couch is decorated with dark blue throw pillows. Pictures on the walls match the theme of brown and blue. It all seems to work really well together.

Two glasses of wine are on the tray on top of the dark blue ottoman. He motions for me to take a seat.

I don't know why, but my nerves just multiplied by a hundred. This is not quite what I expected for the evening. I thought maybe he'd pull me in and bring me straight to his bedroom.

He takes a seat and smiles up at me. "You going to sit down or just stand there like I'm gonna bite you?"

"Sorry, I just feel like I'm in some alternate reality right now."

His eyes grow with amusement. I sit down next to him and grab a glass.

"Please, tell me how this is an alternate reality," he says as he leans back on the couch.

His casual demeanor is starting to become a bit soothing. My muscles start to loosen slightly to match his comfortable mood .

"You know, a reality where you and I are not only fooling around but like…getting along."

He seems slightly offended by my words but does his best to adjust himself and recover. I feel bad, but it's true. This is not how we act towards one another, at least not here, back at home.

His head falls forward as he lets out a soft laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask skeptically.

He smiles. "Not only did you just admit we're fooling around, but you were willing to admit it might just be more than that."

"I don't know if I'd go that far."

That makes him laugh more. "We'll see about that, Freckles. For right now, let's just enjoy the evening."

"And how do you suppose we do that?" my voice hitches a bit seductively.

He raises his eyebrows as his eyes look me up and down. "I have a couple of ideas. First, let's talk. How was your first week back at work? Did you and Zane move passed our awkward encounter?"

That makes me laugh this time. "Oh gosh. It did lead to a conversation I've never had with him before."

He seems curious. "What kind of conversation was this?"

I cringe at the thought. "He made me tell him everything we did in Italy." His face doesn't give way to his reaction. "Are you mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad? "

"I don't know. Some people don't want their personal details shared with others. But it's Zane, he would've locked me in his office until I spilled."

"I believe that," he says with a smile. "And I don't care if you tell him. You guys are close, you should be able to talk to your friends."

His response throws me a bit. He's so different when we aren't at each other's throats. He's so supportive and—nice.

"Thanks. He was so worked up when I told him how long it had been for me. He was beginning to worry about me."

He sits up straighter. "What do you mean? How long had it been before me?"

Crap. I just put my foot in my mouth. I feel like my cheeks are turning red.

"Like before I opened the restaurant or something. I don't know. I couldn't even remember the last time, honestly."

His eyes widen. Did I just scare him? I mean, I know it's out of the ordinary, but I was focused on work.

Suddenly, he stands up and looks down at me.

Is he going to kick me out? I can't believe I told him. Here I am, willingly telling the man I'm sleeping with that I'm basically a born-again virgin.

He puts his hand out. "Do you want me to leave?" I ask faintly.

"Leave? No, just come here. "

I take his hand reluctantly, then follow him down a hallway. I'm not sure where the hell we are going until we are all of a sudden standing in what appears to be his bedroom.

His large hand takes my face and holds it gently. His arm encircles me, his hand landing on the small of my back. A mere touch from him sends warm shivers through my body.

He presses his lips against mine gently, making them burn with fire. His mouth moves slowly, taking his time with his exploration.

He pulls away, eyes looking drugged. "I'm sorry I didn't know that it had been that long, Freckles. I should've been gentler with you."

He seems torn up about this, and it actually makes my heart feel like it's cracking open.

"I love everything we did together. I have no regrets," I tell him honestly.

His thumbs rub up and down my cheeks as he closes his eyes. His forehead falls to mine.

"This time, I'll make love to you like I should have our first time together."

Make love? I swallow hard, trying to process what's happening. An undeniable magnetism is building between the two of us.

He moves the straps of my dress off my shoulder, this time pulling my dress down to my waist. I try to contain my erratic breaths as he takes in my breasts that are bared to him. He brings his hands up and glides the back of his fingers along my nipples, just barely touching them. My eyes close on their own accord .

"Open your eyes, Freckles," he whispers. "I like it when you watch me touch you."

I open them just as he leans in and takes a nipple into his mouth. He grips my breast to poke my nipple out further and sucks harder.

I let out a loud moan of appreciation. He pulls away and backs me up against his bed, then pulls my dress off completely, my panties going along with it.

"Lay down on the bed. Let me take care of you," he says hoarsely.

I lie down and watch him strip his clothes off before he joins me on the bed, right in between my legs.

His fingers gently traced a pathway along the skin on my inner thighs, and goosebumps broke out all over me. I squirmed around, shocked at my eager response to his touch.

His thumb dips into my entrance and starts rubbing wet circles over my clit.

"I've missed this pussy. I never got a taste of it in your office, and I've been starving for another one ever since Italy."

Then he replaces his thumb with his mouth and fireworks erupt in my body. The way he groans into my pussy like he's a starved man who finally got the meal of his dreams is just so hot.

I watch him devour me. I can't take my eyes off of him. I watch every single movement of his tongue, when he flicks to when he wraps his lips around my clit and sucks. The view is just as good as the feeling.

Then he slowly presses two fingers into me and it's my turn to groan. The feeling of my clit and g-spot being stimulated simultaneously is too much. I can no longer contain myself as I grip his hair.

"Fuck, that feels so good," I tell him.

"Mmmm…tastes good too." He looks up at me while his fingers start to pick up their pace, his tongue starting to match the tempo. "Are you gonna come for me, Freckles?"

"Shit. Yes!" I scream as my orgasm takes over me, a gust of desire shaking my body.

Josh climbs up my body, caging my head in between his elbows, and then kisses me. His lips are still wet with my own arousal, but it oddly doesn't bother me as his mouth moves slowly over mine.

"I need you, baby. I need to be inside of you," he whispers against my mouth.

"Yes," I agree, not sure why he isn't moving at all.

He pulls away, an almost hopeful glint in his eyes. "I want to be inside of you with nothing in between us."

It dawns on me what he is asking for.

"Are you on birth control?" he asks.

I nod my head.

"I'm clean. I get tested regularly. Based on how long it's been for you, I know you're clean. Do you trust me, Freckles?"

Do I trust him? The man who broke my heart a decade ago with no explanation. We still haven't even talked about it, and yet here he is asking me if I trust him. I think about everything he's done for me in the past week. How attentive he's been to my emotions and making sure I'm happy.

"I trust you," I whisper, surprising myself with how easily that answer comes to me.

A small smile lifts at the corner of his mouth. "That means everything to me."

He adjusts himself onto one elbow and then uses his free hand to grab himself. He glides his tip along my entrance, teasing me before he slides inside of me.

"Fuck," his forehead falls to my shoulder. "I didn't know it would feel this good."

"What are you talking about?" I whisper. "Have you never done this before?"

He lifts his head. "I've never wanted to experience this with anyone but you."

Tears well up in my eyes as he slowly starts to pull out and slide back in. I'm overwhelmed by his admission. I've never done this with anyone, either. I've never trusted anyone before.

He kisses me slowly as he finds a rhythm. It's slow, but that seems to give me the opportunity to really feel him inside of me. Every movement feels magnified at this pace. A hot tide of passion rages between us as he moves inside of me. His tongue dances with mine, his hand runs through my hair at the base of my scalp. It's like an overload of feelings that are being expressed between us right now.

I'm not sure I'm ready to really analyze what our bodies are saying to each other. I run my hands from the top of his shoulders, all along the length of his back, until they reach his ass. I squeeze his cheeks and pull him all the way into me.

We both groan. Then he breaks our kiss, balancing on both hands and starts to fuck me a bit harder. It's still a slow pace, but his thrusts are harder. My breasts bounce with the movement, and his eyes turn dark as he watches.

His chest and abs are on display. I drink in the sight, watching them flex each time he pushes inside of me.

We are both sweating, panting, a complete mess. It's too intimate and intense for words.

I feel my body tense, my orgasm starting to build. He must sense that I'm almost there because he starts to fuck me hard until we are both screaming our own release. His eyes close as he jerks and pumps his own release inside of me. Then he falls down on top of me, panting in my ear as we both try to catch our breath.

I sigh with pleasant exhaustion. Josh pulls himself up and looks down at where our bodies are still connected.

"I've never done this before, so I don't know if it's about to just fall out of you when I pull out."

The comment is so different from the mood that I actually crack up at how hilarious it is.

"What? What's so funny?" he asks. "Was that a stupid question?"

I can't control my hysterics as I try to answer him, shaking my head. "No, it's not stupid. I don't know either."

"Come on," he stands up quickly, then grabs my hand, dragging me out of his bed while I'm still laughing, "let's get in the shower. "

As I walk, I feel some of his cum drip down my leg. Good thing he immediately turns his shower on. He steps in first to test the temperature before he motions for me to follow him in.

When I lift my leg to get in the shower, his eyes home in on something between my legs. I look down and realize he's looking at his cum.

"I guess we have our answer," I shrug and smile.

His broad shoulders are heaving as he breathes. I don't know what is making him react like this. I can't tell if he's angry or turned on.

Then, in one forward motion, he has me pinned against the shower wall. I gasp in surprise.

"What are you doing?" I whisper as I grab onto his shoulders.

"I need you to tell me you're mine, Freckles. My cum will be the only cum that ever leaks out of your tight pussy. Got it?"

He gathers his cum on my thigh with his finger and then pushes it back inside of me. His claiming me gives me a feeling of much more than sexual desire. Although my body is on fire, so is my heart.

"Got it," I gasp as his fingers writhe inside of me.

"Say it. I want you to say the words."

"I'm yours," I say as our eyes hold onto each other's.

"Good girl," he says with a kiss to my forehead.

His lips graze over mine as he brings me to yet another orgasm before we clean up together in his shower .

After we dry off, he hands me the same clothes I borrowed for pajamas in Italy, clean, of course. I'm wringing out my hair in a towel.

"Crap, my hair is gonna turn into a beehive by the morning if I don't brush it."

He looks over at me after he pulls his shirt down. "Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Freckles, but you aren't leaving here tonight. I haven't been able to sleep half as good as I was in Italy without you next to me."

"I haven't had great sleep either," I admit.

He walks into his bathroom and comes out with a comb. He sits on his bed and pats the spot right in front of him.

"What? You want me to sit there?"

He cracks a smile. "Yes, Freckles. I'm gonna comb your hair for you. Sit down. Relax."

I bite my lip as I crawl onto the bed and take a seat in front of him. He starts to run the comb through my hair tenderly, taking his time with each section. I close my eyes and enjoy the care and attention.

"When's the last time you've been home?" I find myself asking, not sure where the question came from.

"Shit, I don't know. Five years."

"Five years? That's a long time. Do you talk to your parents on the phone?"

I knew he wasn't super close with his parents, but five years is a long time .

"I'll occasionally talk to them on the phone. Maybe once or twice a year."

"They don't call more often or ask you to visit?"

"Nah, they aren't really interested in what I'm doing. They were pretty absent parents. They did just enough work to keep us out of poverty. I guess I'm not much better than them, huh? Not compared to what your family has accomplished."

I turn my head and see the pain in his eyes. He actually believes what he just said. I don't know his parents, but I know he is nothing like the people he's describing.

"Josh, you know there's no way you're like them," I say as I turn around so I'm facing him.

He chuckles. "How do you know, Freckles?"

"Because you trust people. You are like a second brother to Asher. Hell, even to Liam and Eric. You're a hard worker and have made a great living for yourself."

"It's not that impressive when it's your best friend who's employing you."

"Stop that," I push his chest slightly. "That's not why Asher has you as basically his co-owner. You know that man doesn't trust easily; his company is his baby, and he wouldn't put you in charge of so much if he didn't trust you completely. He does it because you are talented and trustworthy. You're kind and hardworking."

He looks up at me shyly. "You really think that?"

It breaks my heart that he doesn't know this about himself. "I know that. I may have hated you for ten years for breaking my heart, but that doesn't mean I didn't see how much his company thrived once he got you on board."

I realize I may have spoken too freely. I didn't mean to confess all of that.

"I broke your heart?" he whispers.

My head falls to the side. "Come on, Josh. You know you did. I was seventeen and completely in love with you. I thought we shared something special that night. I thought we were more than what we were. I didn't realize it was nothing to you. Not until I saw you with that other girl the next night."

My eyes water as I recall the events of the night. How excited I was to see him across the room. My stomach was in knots, my heart was beating erratically. I didn't think we would be going public with our relationship yet, but I figured he would at least smile when he saw me. Maybe walk up to me and tell me to meet him somewhere private.

I never expected him to look right through me then grab her hand and turn his head away.

"I didn't know you cared that much. I know what I did was wrong, and I've regretted it every second of every day, but I thought it just pissed you off more than hurt you. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. "Why'd you do it?" I whisper.

He sighs. "I've debated on how honest I wanted to be with you about what happened that night. But I don't want to start this with you with anything but complete honesty. I had already been scared about what people would think. You were only seventeen, I was twenty-three. I know it was only a kiss, and I would have waited for you to turn eighteen, but it still left me terrified that your family would hate me."

He pulls at the back of his neck as he continues. "I was just out of college, had student loan debt, a crappy job, and no sense of direction. You were used to a certain lifestyle that your father was able to provide for you. I didn't think your family would think I was good enough for you." He laughs, "I still think they won't find I'm good enough for you."

He looks up at me. "I was still willing to risk it all for you, but that night, William was at the party. I don't know how he knew about us. Maybe it was a coincidence, or he sensed it., but he pulled me aside. He told me if I ever pursued you, he would use his father's money, which he informed me there was an abundance of, and he would take me to jail for being with a minor. He threatened to have his father quit doing business with your family. Then he proceeded to tell me exactly what I had been worried about all along, that I would never be able to provide for you the way he could."

I'm stunned as I listen to his words. My body feels like it's in a state of shock, unable to move. He's kept this in for ten years, and I've hated him for all of that time. The story I told myself about him was that he was a player who stomped on my heart without a care in the world.

"Josh," my voice cracks as I begin to cry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

His hurt lay naked in his eyes. "I was embarrassed. I'm supposed to be strong and able to support you. Going to you, not only to tell you I can't financially support you like another man could, but to then tell you I'm all fucked in the head over it just felt like exposing how weak I am."

"Well, that sounds like some old-school bullshit if you ask me. "

He gave me a sidelong glance of utter disbelief. "What does that mean?"

"It means that we aren't some nineteen-fifties couple where the man needs to make all the money and have no feelings, all while the woman sits at home depressed with nothing to do once her kids go to school. It means we are a team. We build the life we want together. We talk about our feelings. We support each other."

He leans in and presses his lips to mine. Parting my lips, I raise myself to meet his kiss. He runs his fingers through my hair as his lips move along mine. He pulls away and holds my head while he looks at me.

"I'm a fucking idiot. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you. But can you forgive me, Freckles?"

I lean in and kiss him again. "I'll forgive you if you cook me breakfast tomorrow morning."

"That's all it takes?" He laughs. "Deal. I'll make the chef a fancy breakfast."