Chapter 41 | Cecilia

Chapter 41

Cecilia

I t takes ten minutes for the Uber to arrive. Liz never comes after me. My mom leaves a few minutes after me, and I think maybe I will get answers or an apology or something.

But she says, “You should know better,” then walks to her car.

There is one flight from Philadelphia to Chicago tonight. I book it, not caring about my actual return flight that I will have to cancel. I’m in no mood to deal with customer service of any kind.

After I pick up my carry-on from the hotel—thankfully, I barely had time to unpack—the Uber driver drops me off at the airport with a smile I can’t return. I tip extra for my mood. Security, boarding, even the flight, are a blur of rushing. I can’t calm my mind or my body after takeoff. What the hell was my sister thinking? And my mother... I close my eyes and try to focus on the playlist running on my mindfulness app. But no, my heart still races in rage and confusion and too much hurt.

The sky is dark by the time I land and climb into yet another Uber. It’s still warm despite the late hour, and I shuck off my plane cardigan as we pull into Evie’s lot. This day needs to end. Now. But the time stays resolutely on this side of tomorrow as I stare at my phone screen and its lack of messages from anyone. Fuck this day. I avoid slamming the door, but barely, and stalk toward Evie’s. Another excessive tip will be needed.

I yank open the door to Evie’s building, shutting out summer. Where is the key? Evie uses her key often, but I’ve rarely had the opportunity. The action feels foreign, and my fingers shake as I move past the store cards. Finally, I push the door open. Two heads swivel around to meet me. Evie’s dark curls and brown locks are pulled back in a braid. She’s with Layla. Neither wears an expression of welcome, but Evie’s annoyance quickly transitions into concern, while her best friend rolls their eyes, which is typical but completely infuriating after today. I focus on Evie. If I can get to my girlfriend, it’ll be better.

“Cee?” she asks, her eyes wary. “What are you doing here?”

Irritation bubbles under my rib cage. Why give me a key if I can’t stop by unannounced? I swallow back the retort because it’ll help nothing. I rotate my shoulders and take a breath instead.

“Dinner was a disaster.”

“Enough of a disaster that you flew back home?”

“Yes,” I reply through gritted teeth. “You have no idea.”

“I guess that’s my cue.” Layla stands then mouths something to Evie before fixing me with a glare that I wholeheartedly return.

We’ve never been on the best terms, but this open hostility is new. What exactly has my girlfriend been whispering in her best friend’s ear? And more importantly, why? Haven’t things been good lately?

Layla walks past, and the room turns icy. I consider an apology, but for what? Evie gave me a key. Evie didn’t mention she had plans. She only held fast that it was not the best idea for her to come to New Jersey with me. I haven’t done anything wrong here. If anything, I’m finally doing something right. I freeze as Layla slips into their shoes. Was my girlfriend in the know? Is that why she refused to come? No, that’s not it. Evie is clearly confused and concerned and weirdly agitated by my sudden appearance.

As soon as Layla is gone, Evie motions for me to join her on the couch. Her eyes are narrowed and focused on me. Whatever she sees, she is not pleased. Her expression darkens, and she clasps her hands in front of her.

“What did you do?” she asks quietly after I sit down.

Wow. Maybe this is a bad idea.

“Why do you assume I did something?”

Evie’s gaze bores into me. She’s not going to let this pass. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, why are you here?”

“Because you’re my girlfriend? I’m sorry I ruined your girls’ night. Jesus.”

“This isn’t about girls’ night.” She scoots farther down the couch and away from me. “Tonight was important to Liz, and the fact that you’re not even in the same state as her doesn’t bode well for the outcome.”

“You’re concerned about Liz?” I exclaim.

“No, I’m concerned about you, Cee.” She leans forward, and her expression is sympathetic for the first time since I arrived. But it’s fleeting. There’s no chance I’m getting the girlfriend answer tonight. “What happened?”

“My mother was feeling chatty.”

Evie rubs her forehead, a sign that she’s beyond frustrated. “I’m trying here. I really am. But it’s been a bad few days, so if you can tell me what’s going on without putting it through the Cecilia filter, that would be great.”

What. The. Fuck? I should leave. This isn’t going to end well. Evie’s not in the mood. I’m not in the mood. But if I leave now, I don’t think I’ll be coming back. And I can’t risk that. Not now. I take her hands in mine and give her a once-over. She’s frazzled and tired and weary. I’ve never seen Evie weary. Did something happen on her trip home? I hadn’t even asked in the frenzy of my own trip, but maybe I should have.

“My mom and my dad are apparently friends. She’s been helping him with Zoey all this time.”

Evie sits back with a huff, her eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“And then my father showed up for dessert.” Desperation and incredulity war in my voice. I still can’t fathom how any of them thought ambushing me was a good idea.

“And you left?” Evie’s face crumples, a knowing and sad expression coming over her. Because if I had only left, I would’ve gone back to the hotel. I wouldn’t be here prowling around her living room like a caged animal.

“I mean, I talked to Liz first, but she made her preference clear.”

“Did you stop to consider why Liz invited him?” Evie asks, her voice shaking. “Or why your mother did what she did? Or what a night like tonight might have meant to Zoey?”

Definitely not the girlfriend treatment tonight, but it’s too late to stop now. “No, because none of them stopped to think about what having my father there would do to me.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Of course you don’t,” I spit out. “But I’ve happily kept my distance from the B-side of the Reid family for almost two decades, and Liz forced Zoey on me when I was there. But I will not let her—”

“Fix you?”

Ouch. Evie’s not holding back tonight. “I’m not broken. People are estranged from their parents all the time. It’s my right to be angry.”

“Are you really still angry, Cee? Or are you annoyed that there’s no longer a valid reason for you to be angry?”

I stand and pace in front of the couch. I don’t need this tonight. Not on top of the family-sized betrayal I sat through earlier. “I’m angry about all of it.”

“And Zoey?”

“What about Zoey?” I ask, choosing to ignore the fact that Evie switched to her psychologist voice.

“I thought perhaps you started to think of her as family.”

My stomach turns over. Am I getting used to Zoey’s presence in my life? Yes. But she is not my family. How can my own girlfriend even suggest such a thing? “She will never be my family.”

“And you made that clear to her tonight?” Evie’s tone is flat. Disappointment radiates off her. The force of it nearly knocks me off my feet, but I’m not the villain here.

“I’m going to go.” I walk toward the door. “I came here for support from my girlfriend, not the third degree about why I don’t want my father’s illegitimate child as my sister.”

“Leave your key.”

I stop moving, stop breathing. This is what will break us? “What?”

“I thought we could do this, Cee, but I can’t.” Her voice cracks. “I need someone who gives back what I put in, and you are too stuck in your anger to really care about anyone else. I told my family about you last weekend. Even my grandma. Because the look on your face when I told you not to come—I never wanted to see it again.” Tears stream down her cheeks, and she flicks them away angrily. “And you didn’t even ask me about my weekend. Not once this entire week. And the saddest part is that I’m not even surprised.”

“Evie.” Please don’t do this. “I can be better.”

“What awful thing did you say to your family tonight?” It’s barely a question. She knows me all too well. “You were perfectly happy with our separate lives until Liz left her husband and went to stay with your dad and Zoey.” Her therapist voice is coming back, but the warble and emotions evident in each word betray her true feelings. “You felt betrayed, and you clung to the only thing you could. And I let you because I wanted you to love me like I love you. But I can’t do this anymore.” She holds out her hand. “Your key.”

I yank the keys from my purse and detach the freshly minted piece of metal from the ring. Tears build behind my eyes, but I will not cry now.

Evie reaches past me and pulls a single key, already off the ring, from the bowl by the front door. She places it gently into my hand and then turns and walks away.