Chapter Forty-­Two

Chapter Forty-Two

Tobias

T ossing the last of our suitcases in the idling Audi, I eye Cecelia, who's talking to Ryan on a burner phone while taking Beau for a walk before we head out on the road.

Fucking Ryan. Her source on all things Greg. She caught onto him before I even landed in Virginia.

I'm still so fucking blown away by what just transpired—shocked mostly, along with a thousand other emotions I'm having to constantly battle to keep my shit together. What she's done, what she managed to do while under my careful watch, is incomprehensible to me. And even though I'm filled with pride, I'm still fucking battling the urge to spank her or fuck her, or both. Definitely at the same time. Problem is, she likes the punishment too much.

But mostly, I'm just in awe of her, of her strength, her ability, and the woman she's become—fierce, brave, brilliant, powerful, and fearless.

I can't help the dopey smile on my face as I watch her scold her dog briefly like it's an everyday walk as she chats on the phone like she didn't just save both our fucking lives, and ensure our future while lifting a thousand-pound burden from my shoulders and preventing a war.

I've just been schooled by my queen .

Un-fucking-believable.

And she played me on an expert level.

Sean joins me where I stand at the trunk, my eyes fixed on the woman who retrieved my heart, healed my soul, and saved my life a thousand times over.

I can feel Sean's watchful gaze on me before he speaks up. "All set."

I nod. "Let me get her in the car."

An uncomfortable silence passes between us as I try to work my brain around the fact that Sean's here and the why of it. That he, himself, went through great lengths to prove a similar point to me.

"It's going to take you weeks to piece it together," he says, reading my thoughts.

I cross my arms. "I think she'll gloat way too much to give me a chance to work it all out for myself."

"I say she's earned the right." He turns in her direction, and she glances back at the two of us, her eyes darting nervously between us as Sean speaks up again.

"Think there will ever come a time when things aren't so fucking weird between the three of us?"

"I don't know," I say honestly.

"Or that you don't feel ill at ease when I look at her?"

I stare at his profile as he crosses his arms and leans against the trunk, his gaze still on Cecelia.

"I'm in love with my wife, Tobias." He turns to me, his expression genuine. "I'm convinced by my own experience that it's possible to love more than once in a lifetime. And honestly, I never thought I would see her again after she left Triple."

"Neither did I."

"What made you go after her, finally?"

"Because maybe you are capable, but I'm not. There's no one else for me but her. Never before, never after."

"I get that." Another bout of silence. "She's more than ready."

"She is, but I'm leaving the when up to her. I don't know how long it's going to be until then, and I really don't give a fuck. It's her call, indefinitely . "

He nods, and I glance over at her, still on edge from how close things got mere minutes ago. No matter how well it worked out, I'll never truly be comfortable with her in harm's way.

"Dom told you about Antoine," I say, turning to face him.

"A long, long fucking time ago. Still looking out for you, even from the grave." He shakes his head. "Only Dom."

The truth of that sets in.

"It's the one good thing that came from our time in France."

I don't bother to hide my surprise.

"Yeah, man, of course we looked into him while we were there. We've had your back the whole time. Always. And would have had it well before that, had you not been so fucking tight-lipped about him. When you sent us away, we tracked him down from the information Dom had gathered over the years. Together, we learned the entirety of his operation, in and fucking out, and it wasn't hard to figure out you taught them everything you knew."

" Almost everything."

He nods. "Keep them confused, right? We worked out early on, through a faint text trail, that you already had Palo in your pocket, but we wanted backup, so we sent a few of our unmarked guys into his ranks over time. We have a lot more birds in his army than you can imagine. Question is, why didn't you do it?"

"I didn't want men capable of doing Antoine's dirty work working for me. They're a different breed. But I see now it was a mistake and a necessary evil. And I've made mistakes, Sean. Lots of them."

"I wish you would have asked for help."

"I didn't want you to know. He's—"

"He was only a worthy adversary because you made him one."

"I regret it every day."

"You don't have to anymore. We own him," he says, fishing a cigarette out of his jeans before striking his Zippo. He clicks it closed with the flick of his wrist before exhaling a steady stream of smoke. Another long silence ensues, and I turn his way to see him staring at me intently. "The worst day of our lives was the day we broke your heart. "

The words strike deep and take away my ability to speak as we face off, eye to eye, for the first time since the night that tore us apart.

"If you thought we left willingly, that we would leave her willingly for the cause, you were fucking wrong. Of course, we cared, and we didn't want to lose it, but we left—" he exhales another drag as my chest tightens unbearably—"we left willingly and gave her up temporarily because of the sacrifices you made for us , Tobias. For the years you spent doing everything for us, risking your life, for us , because that's the type of man you taught us to be." His voice shakes as he speaks, his eyes darting down at the gravel between us. "And we started missing your love and loyalty the minute we lost it." He exhales a plume of smoke and lifts watery eyes back to mine. "The second worst day of our lives was the day you broke our hearts —" he clears his throat and cups the back of his neck as the burn in my own throat intensifies. "Motherfucker." He shakes his head as my heart cracks dead center, and I feel the years of separation between us, the longing I felt to get us back with no idea of how.

"But that very same day you broke our hearts, you showed us what true love looks like, and you gained it by sacrificing everything, including us , and our cause, for her ." He glances toward Cecelia and then back to me. "Something we both failed to do. And in turn, you earned her, and you do deserve her for it." He swallows audibly. "When you tried to defend yourself, we knew you were right, but we were cut so deep we didn't want to fucking hear it. Because losing her completely was a good enough reason to resent you, and our hands weren't as dirty if you were equally as guilty."

He blows out a harsh breath. "But we knew you were right, and I think, deep down, we both knew we were on borrowed time with her. And fuck, how I hated you for it." He exhales again, his shoulders rolling forward. "Dom realized it that night because he caught on a lot faster like he always did. He understood. I didn't fucking want to. But he always saw things clearly for what they were, even if it hurt. It took me a lot longer to sort it out. And Tessa, that woman, she went through hell showing me where I went wrong, but you deserve to know you've had my forgiveness for a lot longer than you think."

I stand on the verge of eruption, the burn in my throat far too much as my eyes begin to sting.

"But the truth is now..." Sean admits hoarsely, his teary eyes lifting to mine, "I just want my fucking brother back."

In a flash, I cup the back of his neck and press our foreheads together.

A pained gasp leaves us both as he grips my shoulders, the pressure unbearable until I release it, my emotions taking over as I swallow continually and try to speak. Sean grips my shoulders as we stand there for endless seconds.

"Always brothers," I whisper through a shaky breath as we clutch each other tightly, mending the bridge that's separated us for years. Several seconds pass as we collectively choke on our emotions.

"We all got too fucking good at keeping secrets, even from each other," I admit tightly. "I'm sorry, brother."

He shakes his head, and we separate, wiping years of pain away.

"We all made horrible mistakes, Tobias, but just look at where we are now , and it's largely because of you . Take some fucking credit and let those mistakes fall to the wayside. It's time to forgive yourself." He sighs, running a hand over his face, his eyes shimmering again, his voice a plea, "But you've got to let him go. He wouldn't want you condemning yourself like this. We all deserve to see how the rest of this plays out, especially you. You've got to let him go, man."

I can barely manage my reply. "I'm trying."

"Try harder ." He grips my shoulder and squeezes as I nod several times. "We need you."

When he releases me, I glance over to see Cecelia frozen in the middle of the yard, staring at the two of us. I lift my chin to her to let her know we're good, and she starts to make her way toward us .

A minute passes, maybe more, and Sean lights up another cigarette and passes it to me. I take a deep inhale, feeling lighter than I have in almost a decade.

"He never gave me a reason to suspect him, but it all makes sense now. It was so fucking obvious, Sean. So fucking obvious. I got a confession from Jerry that he sent Miami before I put a bullet in him but never asked for his source . I was so anxious to get back to Cecelia I didn't press any further. I never thought Antoine was equipped enough. He played me well, distracting me with his own drama, but the truth is, who the fuck else would've known about a loyalty dispute in our club? Who would dig so far to find out?" Fury buds in my veins at the idea that the man who tossed the grenade—who set the events of years of hell I've been through into motion—almost got away with it.

"There are no coincidences, not in this game, we all know that, but that's why you have us."

"Thank fuck for that."

"And what you did for me , for my family —"

"Don't, Sean, it's the least I could do. You joined a crusade to help avenge my family without anything—"

"I gained everything, brother, everything . And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The hellacious road less traveled has been worth it, man. I only wish he was still with us."

I give him a slow nod as Cecelia ambles toward us with Beau in tow, the serene expression on her face lit up by the single street lamp at the end of her long driveway.

"She's really upped her game," Sean says in contemplative observance. "I was fucking blown away when she put this all together."

"I trust her with everything, Sean. Everything. I hope you're good with her making decisions for the club in the future."

"I'm gold with it. I think we all saw it in her." He turns to me. "And when you two are ready, it's time to get back to work." He drops his cigarette and crushes it with his boot before nodding toward the house. " See you inside."

Sean steps away, intercepting Cecelia a few feet from where I stand. I force myself to watch their interaction as they exchange whispers. She wraps her arms around him briefly, and he returns her hug before releasing her. The shared intimacy doesn't gnaw at me the way I thought it would, nor does her smile or their glance back at each other when they part. It's when her eyes flick to mine, and she gives me a pensive look before she ushers Beau into the back seat that the strain of our own exchange sets in.

I grip her hips and spin her just as she shuts the door.

"Don't feel guilty."

"I can't help it."

"Entertain Mr. Handsome? You like making me jealous."

She grins because she knows I'm still piecing it together.

"You left that to-do list in a rather convenient place, Trésor. But it was last on the list."

She twists her lips. "It was to throw you off his scent. He was mine to take down. I just didn't know he was going to bait you tonight. Antoine allowed it last minute, but I knew you could take him."

"Jesus, I've created a monster."

"Yes, you have, my king."

I shake my head. "Still not a king."

"Agree to disagree."

"I'm okay with you..." I look toward the direction Sean went, "having whatever friendship you end up having with him."

"Considering I've been talking to him daily behind your back, that means a lot, but I'm more concerned about your relationship with him. For a second, I thought you were wrestling until I figured out that hug was a way to keep your man chests from rubbing together."

I roll my eyes as her lips turn up before concern takes over.

"Are you . . . two . . . okay?"

"Yeah—" I nod—"we are."

"Is that the truth?"

"Would I lie to you? "

She narrows her eyes, and I can't help my chuckle as I grip her face before separating her pursed lips with my tongue. My cock stirs, and I break the kiss in an attempt to keep focus on my task. "We're not going to make it far on the road tonight," I say gruffly. "I'm going to have to fuck you, and soon ."

"You'll hear no complaints from me."

"Dividends?"

"I'm cashing in, King," she assures, "get ready to empty your pockets."

"Everything I have is yours," I assure her. "Sure this is where you want to go?"

"Positive."

I search her face for shadows, in light of what just took place, and find none.

"I'm okay," she assures me, reading my thoughts. She just killed two men. One to keep her gun, the other to take out the only real threat in the room, but I see no trace of regret, no remorse. But I know her heart, and the act she committed is something that could very well begin to eat away at her. But right now, all I see is a woman who did what she had to do to protect me .

"I forgot something inside." I nod toward the house.

"No, you didn't," she says evenly. Searching for any sign of condemnation in her face, I find none. "Finish this," she whispers softly before pressing a kiss to my lips.

"I'll be right back."

She nods and buckles into the passenger seat as I palm the door closed on the frame, and Beau barks at me from the back seat.

The thought occurs to me then that my entire life exists inside her Audi, a small but budding family. And if this is all I ever have, it's more than enough.

Reining in my emotions, I straighten my spine for the task at hand and nod toward the men standing guard just feet away before I make my way back inside.