Chapter 26

Olivia

The door clicks shut behind Grady and Kipp, and the room is instantly blanketed in uncomfortable silence. I feel like a piece of my heart went with them, and I can't believe it's possible to feel so strongly, so fast. But when you know, you know. I'm not going to question it.

Bre clears her throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. Her eyes are full of concern. "So, shall I stay or shall I go?"

"Stay," I reply. I need someone here. I need her here.

Van looks at me, his brows furrowed. "So now what? Where do we go from here?"

I shrug, flopping down onto the couch. The weight of the situation pressing down on me is almost suffocating. "I don't know. What do you want, Van? Tell me what you want."

Van takes a deep breath, his eyes locking with mine. The emotion in them is so intense, my heart skips a beat. "I'm still madly, deeply in love with you, Olivia. I want to be with you. You're it for me. Not that it matters now, but I was going to propose when you got back from your trip."

His words hit me like a freight train, knocking the breath out of me. Shock shoots through my body like a bolt of lightning. That's all I ever wanted. I wanted him, babies, a white picket fence. And Barbi tried to destroy that. The question is, did she succeed? Because I can't let Kipp and Grady go. I don't know what that means for me and Van. Can one woman love multiple men? Can one woman be in a relationship with more than one man, long term?

"You don't want to end things with them, do you?" Van asks, but his voice is laced with resignation like he already knows the answer..

"I don't know," I admit. "I didn't plan for them. It just happened, and they mean something to me now. I feel like I'm giving up a part of myself if I cut things off with them."

Van's face falls, and I can see the hurt in his eyes. "I don't know if I can share you, Olivia."

A tear rolls down my cheek as my heart breaks. "I understand," I whisper.

Van stands and bends down, kissing me softly on the lips. "I'll call you, baby," he says before turning and walking out the door.

And there goes another piece of my heart. At this point, three men own more of it than I do.

Bre whistles softly. "Well, that went better than expected." She stands, gives me a quick hug, and hurries after Van, calling over her shoulder, "Sorry, babe! I drove him here."

I get up and lock the door behind her, sealing myself inside the apartment. I lean my back against the door and close my eyes, sliding to the floor.

What in the hell am I going to do?

The silence is heavy, and I stay slumped against the door. Van loves me. He wants to be with me. But Kipp and Grady... they've come to mean so much to me in such a short time. I can't just cut them out of my life. The thought is unbearable.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, pulling me out of my thoughts. It's a text from Grady.

Grady: Hey, how are you holding up?

I stare at the screen, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. How do I even begin to explain what just happened? My hands shake as I type.

Me: I'm okay, I guess. Just had a tough conversation with Van.

A few moments later, my phone buzzes again.

Grady: Do you want to talk about it?

I take a deep breath, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes again. I need to talk about it. I need someone to help me make sense of all this.

Me: Yeah, I do. Can you come back over?

Grady: Of course. Kipp is dealing with the Jessica shit so it's just me. Is that okay?

Me: Yeah that's totally fine.

I set my phone down and wipe my eyes. Maybe he can help me figure out what to do. I walk around the apartment, trying to distract myself by tidying up, but my mind keeps drifting back to Van's words. He was going to propose.

There's a knock at the door, and I rush to answer it. Grady stands on the other side, concern etched on his face. He steps inside and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," he murmurs against my hair.

I cling to him, letting the tears fall. "I don't know what to do, Grady. Van still loves me. He was going to propose. But I can't just let you and Kipp go. You both mean so much to me."

Grady pulls back slightly, looking into my eyes. "Olivia, we'll figure this out together. You don't have to make any decisions right now. Just take your time and follow your heart."

I nod. "Thank you. I just... I feel so lost."

He leads me to the couch, sitting down beside me and holding my hand. "Let's talk it out. Tell me everything that happened."

I tell him what happened after they left, my emotions raw and unfiltered. Grady listens intently, his hand never leaving mine. When I finish, he squeezes my hand gently.

"Olivia, we want you to be happy. If being with Van makes you happy, then we'll support you. But if you want to find a way to make this work with all of us, we're willing to try."

His words bring a new wave of tears to my eyes. "You really mean that?"

"I do."

I appreciate his words, but he's only one half of his marriage. His husband isn't here to agree with him.

"Kipp's not here though. Are you sure he thinks the same? He already had a woman fuck him over, he might be hesitant. Plus, my ex is now probably going to put his daughter behind bars. I know he says he's on our side, but still, that's… a lot." Kipp's feelings are just as important in all of this

Grady nods. "Let's ask him."

He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Kipp. A few minutes later, the phone rings and Grady answers it, putting it on speaker.

"Hey, Kipp. Olivia and I are here. We need to talk to you about something important."

Kipp's calm voice comes through the speaker. "Sure, what's going on?"

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the conversation. "Kipp, after you left, I talked with Van. He told me he still loves me and that he was going to propose. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."

There's a pause on the other end of the line before Kipp speaks again. "Olivia, we all care about you deeply. If you want to be with Van, we'll understand. But if you want to try to make this work with all of us, we need to have an honest conversation about what that looks like."

His words echo Grady's, and I feel relief knowing they're both willing to talk about it. "Thank you, Kipp, I don't want to hurt any of you. I just... I need to figure out what my heart wants."

"Take your time, Olivia. We're here for you," Kipp reassures me.

After we hang up, calm washes over me. This won't be easy, but at least I have the support of Kipp and Grady. We'll figure this out together.

Grady stays with me for a while, holding me and talking through my feelings. His presence is comforting, and I'm grateful for his understanding. I feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to make this work.

The next day, I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing. I groggily reach over and grab it from the nightstand.

Van: I miss you.

My heart aches at his words. I want to see him, but I'm also terrified of what a conversation with him might bring. I set my phone back down without replying and take a deep breath. Today, I need a distraction. Today, I need to focus on anything but the tangled mess of my heart.

I pull on an oversized shirt, barely covering my panties, and head to the living room. The apartment feels empty, a stark contrast to the millions of thoughts racing through my mind. I decide to start with cleaning. Maybe if I can bring some order to my surroundings, my thoughts will follow.

I put on my favorite playlist, turning up the volume until the music vibrates through the walls. The familiar beats fill the air, and I get lost in the rhythm. I start in the kitchen, wiping down the counters and washing dishes. Each scrub feels like an attempt to clean the clutter from my mind.

As I move to the living room, dusting and straightening, my mind wanders back to Van's message. I miss you. I need to see him and have another conversation, but I'm not ready. Not yet. I shake my head. The music still blares, but it's not enough to drown out my thoughts anymore.

I pick up my phone and see Van's text again. The words stare back at me, insistent and demanding an answer. I can't avoid this forever.

I type out a quick reply, my fingers trembling.

Me: I miss you too.

I hit send and let out a long breath. It's not much, but it's the best I can do right now. I set the phone down and close my eyes, letting the music wash over me.

As the day turns into the evening, I find myself in the kitchen, cooking a simple dinner. The act of preparing food is soothing, a small routine that grounds me. I chop vegetables, boil pasta, and let the repetitive motions calm my mind.

When the meal is ready, I sit at the small kitchen table and eat slowly, savoring each bite. After dinner, I clean up and head to the bedroom. I crawl into bed, pull the covers up to my chin, and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts drift to Kipp and Grady, to Van, to the impossible question I asked myself yesterday.

Can one woman love multiple men? Can one woman be in a relationship with more than one man, long term? I don't have the answers, but I know I need to figure it out. Not just for them, but for myself.

As I lie there, my eyes grow heavy, and I drift off to sleep, the music still softly playing in the background, carrying me into a restless dream.