Chapter 13

“Look how tiny she is.”

Turning my head to my right, my lips curl into a smile at the sight of Aiden grinning down at his baby daughter in the maternity ward through the glass. I swear he almost shoves his face against the glass, trying to get as close as he possibly can.

But I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness in my heart, knowing that Madeline and I will probably never be in this position.

“Surprising since, you know… you’re a giant and all,” Grayson says with a scoff. “But seeing how tall Nova is at her age, I don’t doubt that this one will be just as tall.”

Aiden chuckles a little, and then returns right back to staring at his daughter in a pool of other babies. “Fuck,” he whispers, shaking his head. “This feels …”

“I can imagine,” Grayson says. “I mean she’s not even my kid, and I still feel like…” He trails off, letting out a hard breath.

Aiden nudges him on the shoulder, looking down at his best friend. “Hurry up and make a baby so you and Rosie can feel what I feel,” he says with a grin. “It’s amazing man.”

James makes a noise, and wraps his arms around his husband. “Well, I’m checked out of this conversation,” he says before they both walk away .

I let out a laugh. My best friend has never once liked kids. Even when he was one. So, his and Carter’s decision of not having any of their own didn’t shock me one bit.

“Patience,” Grayson says. “We haven’t even gotten married yet. I want my girl wearing my ring when we have a baby,” he says with a smile on his face. Seems like the only time Grayson smiles is when he’s with Rosie. Or talking about Rosie. Or thinking about Rosie. Other than that, I can’t say I’ve seen him smile for anything else.

“Fine,” Aiden says with a sigh. “I just want you guys to know what being a dad feels like.” His eyes turn to his daughter and he shakes his head. “Fuck. I can’t believe I’m a dad again.”

“Again?” Grayson asks with a scoff. “I didn’t realize you stopped being a dad.”

“You know what I mean,” Aiden replies with an eye roll. “It’s going to be different with a baby. I’m so used to Nova being able to talk, and walk. This is going to be a whole new ball game for me again.”

“Has Nova met her sister yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No, not yet. We Facetimed Leila’s parents, but we wanted Nova to meet Talia in person.” His grin widens. “She hasn’t stopped talking about the baby since she found out,” he says. “She even rearranged her room to make space for the baby.” A laugh bubbles out of him. “I don’t want to break her heart when I tell her the baby will have her own room.”

“Two kids man,” Chris murmurs, shaking his head. “That will be crazy. ”

Aiden shrugs. “We’ll make it work,” he says. “Thank fuck the season is over so I can stay home with my girls for a while.”

“Jesus, I didn’t even think of the fact you’ll have three girls in the house now,” Grayson replies with widened eyes.

Aiden though, doesn’t seem at all bothered by it as he laughs. “It might sound daunting but I know I’ll fucking love it. And you never know, maybe in the future we’ll have a little boy running around,” he says, which makes my brows shoot up.

“This one just popped out, and you’re already planning the next?”

“Leila was the one who actually mentioned it,” he tells me with a laugh. “But I told her it would be a while before we even think of having another baby.”

Grayson lets out an unconvinced scoff. “Good luck with that,” he says with an arched brow.

Aiden flips him off, and takes a step back from the glass. “Speaking of, I’m going to go and see my beautiful wife,” he says with a grin. “See you guys.”

When Aiden walks into the hospital room, the door opens a second later and Gabi rushes out, heading toward the bathroom. Chris furrows his brows, and follows behind her. Rosie walks out of the room, walking toward Grayson, and they both turn to face the maternity ward, glancing at the babies and chuckling to themselves as they look at each other lovingly.

Mark my words, those two will be the next to have kids .

The door opens again, and I glance back to see Madi pushing through the door, her eyes meeting mine when she lifts her head. My heart pounds against my chest the second I see her. She’s so fucking beautiful, even after spending the night in the hospital. Her lips lift into a smile as she joins me, and I don’t waste any time, cupping her face before I lean down and press my lips against hers.

“What have you been doing out here?” she asks, glancing behind me at the maternity ward, and I notice as her smile slips, a saddened look replacing it as she looks at the babies in there.

My heart hurts at the possibility of never being able to have a kid, but mostly because of her . I see how much Madeline wants a baby. She wants to be a mom, and she’d be a hell of a good one, and it kills me that it hasn’t happened for her.

“It’s going to be okay,” I reassure her, as I press a kiss against the side of her head.

“I know,” she whispers, unconvincingly.

I can’t blame her for not believing me. We’ve been trying for years. Years, we’ve spent having appointments with countless of doctors, trying to make a baby.

Months, we’ve been waiting to hear back from the adoption agency, and still, not a single word.

When making a baby naturally wasn’t working, the other natural option was adoption. Madeline was adopted when she was a baby, and she adores her family. So, the thought of being that for someone, of giving a child a loving home, was the easiest decision in the world .

But what hasn’t been easy, is the process. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting for someone to call and let us know there’s a baby available for us to adopt has been so hard, and disheartening, and I can tell it’s taking a toll on Madi.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell our friends?” I ask her. The only people we’ve told is our family, and even that was hard. No one else knows how hard it’s been for us to have kids, or how we’ve decided to adopt, or how we haven’t heard back from anyone yet. “It might be easier to talk to the girls about it,” I suggest.

Madi shakes her head, ripping her eyes away from the babies to look up at me with glassy eyes. “No,” she says, determined. “I don’t want to give them false hope in case we…” She presses her lips together, unable to voice the possibility of us never getting the call. “This will never be us,” she says, gesturing to the glass. “You’ll never get to stand here and look out there and see your baby.”

My brows dip, my chest aching at the sight of tears in her eyes. “You never know,” I tell her. “It could happen, Madeline. And if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean we can never have a family.” I clutch her face in my hand, smoothing my thumb over her soft cheek. “We’ll get that call, Madi. You’ll be a mom. I’ll be a dad.”

She drops her eyes, the subtle shake of her head breaking my heart, but not as much as her next words do. “You can always leave, you know?”

My brows furrow, and I lift her chin with my thumb, making her look at me. “What the hell are you talking about? ”

Her lips part, and her glassy eyes look right at me when she says, “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave. I know how much you want a baby. You could find another woman that can give you what I can’t and—”

“Stop,” I blurt out, anger building inside me. “Don’t you ever say those words again.” My heart drops to my stomach at the reminder. “I want a baby, of course I do. But not more than I want you.” Her eyes well up with tears. “There is nothing in this world that could ever make me walk away from you. Madeline, I haven’t even spared a glance at another woman since the second you walked into my life. How could you ever think I would ever walk away from you?” I ask, bewildered at the fact she ever uttered those words. “This doesn’t change anything about the way I feel about you. I love you , princesa. I want a family with you . No one else. You.”

“Lucas,” she whispers, her voice wobbly and unstable.

“You can tell me you don’t want kids, and it wouldn’t change anything for me. All I’ve ever wanted was you, and that will never change. But if you tell me you want kids, then we can keep trying, or look into a surrogate, or wait for the adoption agency to call. But all I want is a family with you. With kids, or without kids. I’ll be the happiest fucking guy as long as I’m with you.”

“You really mean that?” she asks, glancing up at me with hope swimming in her eyes.

“I really do,” I say, pressing my forehead against hers. “It kills me that I haven’t been able to give you a baby yet, but we can keep trying,” I tell her, pulling back with a grin. “It’s pretty fun. ”

She lets out a laugh, shoving me in the chest, and I know, everything will be okay.

Her smile settles, and her eyes lock with mine. “I want to adopt,” she breathes out, making my shoulders drop in relief.

These past few years, Madi hasn’t let herself speak about what she wants. I think that’s a big part of why she hasn’t told the girls yet. She doesn’t want to put the idea out there in case it gets snatched up from her.

But even when we were first discussing adoption, she wouldn’t let herself say what she wanted. So finally hearing her admit she wants this, that she wants to adopt a baby feels like a weight off my chest.

“Then we’ll adopt,” I tell her, loving the idea. “I can’t wait to give a child a loving home. Just like your parents did with you,” I say, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Look how great you turned out.” I flash her a smile which she returns.

“It might not happen for a while, though,” she says, her smile slipping. “Are you okay with that?”

I nod, reaching for her hand, before I lift it and press my lips against her knuckles. “I’ll wait for as long as it takes, princesa .”

Her eyes soften, lovingly, and I lean down ready to kiss my stunning wife, but our attention is snagged by the sound of Gabi’s voice.

“Come on,” she says, making Madi and I turn out heads, seeing Gabi and Chris running toward a storage closet, the door closing behind them a second later .

I arch a brow. “Are they going to fuck in a hospital?” I ask with a laugh, already knowing the answer.

“It’s Gabi and Chris,” Madi replies with a chuckle. “Of course they are.”