Chapter 5

Nolan’s anger simmered beneath the surface. He was angry that his dedication to Andrew had been ruined by his hot-headed neighbor. Andrew would have probably laughed in the guy’s face, punched him, and then asked if he wanted to get a beer together. But Nolan wasn’t like that. First off, he wasn’t big enough to punch someone and not get the shit beaten out of him, and second, he thought violence sucked. Plus, he hated beer.

He cleaned up the area and headed inside. With the photo in hand, he moved to the box he'd pulled it from earlier but couldn't put it away. No one would ever be in his bedroom. He didn't have a maid, and no one else came inside his place. If, for some reason, he had someone over at his house, he would put the photo in a drawer.

He placed the picture of Andrew beside his bed, smiling to himself as he stared at his incredibly handsome husband. He missed the big lug. Andrew had spent plenty of nights away, but when he was home, they’d been an inseparable pair.

Andrew had been the type of guy who could pick him up and toss him over his shoulder. He loved being manhandled by his husband because he knew Andrew would never hurt him. They’d had some wild sex, and it had gotten really intense, but Andrew had always kept him safe.

Nolan closed his eyes and let go a long sigh. Maybe it was weird, but Andrew had been his best friend as well as his lover. He hadn’t known many guys who were as close as he and Andrew had been. It probably helped that Andrew was gone a lot of the time.

Nolan grabbed the open bottle of wine from the refrigerator and poured himself a glass. He was about to put the wine up when he decided he needed more in his glass. It wouldn’t hurt to drink more this one time.

He sank down on the couch and lifted his drink. “I miss you, Andrew. Too much time has passed since I last saw you.”

He took a sip then stared at the blank TV screen. His neighbor was a jerk. He hated living with that strife. Back in Virginia, his neighbors loved him. The cookie exchanges during the holidays were amazing. They had barbecues in the summer and did movie marathons on rainy weekends. It was the perfect place, until it wasn’t.

He sighed as more sadness poured in. It had been fun living there when Andrew had been alive. His husband had stood out in the neighborhood of men with pony kegs instead of six packs, but they all had been nice to each other. Once the guys realized Andrew was a serious military man, they showed him respect. For some reason, they'd also never really shown Nolan disrespect, either.

Nolan didn’t want to live in a place where his neighbor hated him. This house was odd. No other houses were around here. Why had this house been built so close to the other one? It didn’t make any sense.

Shaking off the altercation with Ryder was taking too long. He should let it go, but something about the man had taken root in his thoughts. The last thing he wanted was for their relationship to sour further. He didn’t want this type of strain between them. He would be here in this city for a few years because of his contract.

Going over to Ryder’s place now would be a mistake. Maybe he could make him a cake. Nolan rolled his eyes. Andrew would laugh at him for sure for that one. He should give Ryder time. The man seemed more like the beer and burger type, not the tea and sweets type.

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe the anger, but Nolan woke to a strange sex dream where he was wrapped in a man’s arms, both of them naked. When he met the man’s eyes, they weren’t Andrew’s eyes. Instead, it was Ryder, his neighbor, starring in his dream.

The disturbing dream got him out of bed and into the shower. He turned the water to cold, suffering through the pain as he willed his dick to deflate.

When he turned off the water, just the thought of Ryder made him hard again. He closed his eyes and wrapped his fist around his cock, and stroked, trying to think of Andrew. It didn’t work. His mind kept flashing to Ryder and his strong arms and big hands. The man’s positively sour looks turned him on and had him emptying his balls in record time.

“Fuck!” he shouted as he came, dumping his cum on the tile floor. He turned the water on and washed the floor of the shower, wondering why the heck he’d dreamt about a man he couldn’t stand.

A wave of sadness hit him. Ryder haunted his subconscious, not Andrew. He wanted to cry, but he pushed away the thought as he stepped out of the shower.

He wasn’t running late, which was good, and he took his first mug of coffee out to his back patio. He pulled up the crossword puzzle he liked to do in the morning to get his brain going and looked over the hints. His mind wandered as the words began to fuzz together. He wasn’t into the crossword today. Instead, he was thinking about Andrew, which morphed into thoughts about his way too good-looking neighbor, who had a scruffy jaw and smoldering eyes.

Nolan stood abruptly, almost knocking the table over. He grabbed his mug and turned to go inside, but the object of his illicit dreams was standing close to his property, his blue eyes seeming to pierce Nolan’s soul. There was no way Ryder knew about the sexy dreams or the jackoff session he’d had.

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night,” Ryder’s deep voice rumbled over him, grazing his nerves and sending a shiver down Nolan’s back. The man had no idea how sexy Nolan thought he was, and if he knew, there would be hands thrown.

“It’s okay,” Nolan said, trying not to let the lust he felt toward this man show. It wasn’t safe in this town for a man his size to show his attraction to other men. He was smaller by four, maybe five inches, and weighed a good thirty to forty pounds less. Ryder was pure muscle, whereas Nolan had a runner’s frame and weight.

Ryder shook his head. “No, I shouldn’t have done that. I grew up here and have seen out-of-control fires destroy land, animals, and property, but it’s no excuse. The fire was small, and I was acting out the anger.”

“I’m sorry. I should have thought it through,” Nolan said.

“No, you weren’t in the wrong.”

He studied Ryder, seeing the exhaustion in his eyes. He could have burned the piece of paper inside over a candle or something, but he’d tried to make some weird grand gesture because he’d forgotten that yesterday was the anniversary of Andrew’s death. “Really, don’t worry. It’s okay.”

“Can I make it up to you by grilling tonight? I know I haven’t been the most neighborly person. I’m just—life has been hard the last few…um, weeks.”

Nolan almost laughed at the offer to grill, but he held it in. He should say no. Getting closer to this man would be a dangerous mistake. It would be crossing the line because of the sexy dreams he’d had that made him hard as a pipe.

“Sure,” he said instead of saying no. “I get off work at three today, so I’ll be around.”

“I finish close to six. Today is my long day, but I’ll be here as fast as I can.”

“I look forward to it.” He must be crazy to want to spend time with this man. He was looking for trouble. That's what he was looking for.

Maybe if he got to know Ryder, he wouldn’t be attracted to him. He’d had loads of male friends over the years who were just friends, and he could be friends with his neighbor. Once he got to know the man better, he would get over this crazy lust he felt for Ryder. He was sure of it.

Ryder flashed a smile that made Nolan’s heart speed up. “Awesome. I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, let me bring something,” Nolan called out before Ryder got too far. “Meat is expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered. I did some carpentry work for a friend when I moved to town, and he paid me back with a side of beef.”

“Oh, wow. That was nice of him.”

“Yeah, he’s a good guy. I have to go, or I’ll be late. I’ll see you later.”

Nolan waved and forced himself to look away, or he would have stared a hole right through Ryder’s jeans. He would get over this lust. He had to.

It would be good to spend time with someone outside of work. Moving to Texas may not have been the wisest decision he’d ever made, but he was going to make the most of it.