Chapter 19

Nolan followed Ryder to his bedroom and dropped to the mattress. It took Ryder a moment to decide what to do. At first, the licks to his cock were hesitant. Then Ryder sucked down on him, going a little too deep, and he had to back off.

Ryder wasn’t skilled, but he had great enthusiasm for getting Nolan to come. It felt good to have another man touching him. When Andrew had passed, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be with another man. Then he’d had a few failed attempts, and it hadn’t gone great. But with Nolan, this felt amazing.

When he was about to blow, he warned Ryder, giving him time to move away. They lay on the mattress together for a while before they jacked off again. Ryder seemed to like rubbing their dicks together.

No question, Ryder wasn’t ready for anal. He wouldn’t push him into it. Just having an orgasm together was enough for now.

After they came a few more times, they got up and headed into the kitchen to make sandwiches. They'd pulled on their underwear and were sitting on the couch chatting about Ryder's job and how he felt about it. He'd thought about finding something new, but around here, the options were limited.

“What else would you want to do?” Nolan asked.

Ryder shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not like lawn people make that much here. There aren’t any mansions or huge facilities that would require my skills.”

Ryder got up and moved to the entryway and grabbed the plate of cookies, bringing them back to the couch. Nolan chuckled, and Ryder shot him a strange look.

“I can’t believe I brought you cookies. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Ryder flashed him a huge smile. “I’m glad you did.”

Nolan took a bite of cookie and met Ryder’s gaze. “Are you going to be okay?”

He shrugged and stared at the floor. “I will be. I don’t know what is up with my parents. I mean, they didn’t love Amy. She wasn’t willing to quit her job or pump out babies. We were going to wait. I mean, if I had a child that looked like her…but I don’t because we didn’t. They might be happy about a child, but I don’t think there is any pleasing them.” Ryder shook his head. “There’s no way I could have taken care of a kid after she died. I fell apart. I know most men wouldn’t ever admit to that, but I was a wreck.”

"I get it. I had to take a month away from work, and even then, it was too much. I switched where I was working, but even changing jobs didn't help. It's why I'm here in Texas. I needed to break away from everything I knew."

“Do you think you’ll ever feel whole again? Maybe you don’t feel like a piece of you is missing.”

Nolan shrugged. “I don’t think a loss like that is something you recover from.”

Ryder let go a heavy sigh. “It sucks.”

Nolan leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I'm here for you. We both have shit we're going through, so I don't expect anything other than friendship. If we end up messing around again, I'm game. Like I said earlier, I like you. I don't think either one of us is ready to commit to anything, but honestly, around here, I'm not going to be seeing anyone else."

Ryder chuckled. “Yeah. I don’t see myself dating a woman, and I’m not going to get it on with another guy, so it’s just you and me.”

Nolan chuckled as desire pumped through him. “I’m good with that. I think I’d like to wake up on Sunday mornings wrapped in your arms.”

Ryder flashed him a smile. “I’ll remember that.”

Their kiss led to more, and they were back in bed on the edge of orgasm. Just thinking of how Ryder had sucked his cock the last time pushed Nolan over the edge. The man had gotten better from the first try. Having a friend with benefits so close would be nice. He just hoped Ryder didn’t freak out. The last thing he wanted was an enemy living next door.