Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

Pia: Congratulations on another well-deserved win and thank you for the birthday present.

Haydn: Were you watching?

Pia: I never miss a game—even wear black, white, and silver for good luck.

Haydn: How did you spend your birthday?

Pia: Constantine and Francine came over with takeout and cake.

Haydn: I’m glad you spent the day with your siblings. Are you getting ready for the Andes assignment?

Pia: Nope. I can’t go. The doctor recommended I skip it.

Haydn: Are you okay?

Pia: I’m okay, but I’m constantly flaring, and with the high altitude, my body might take a turn for the worse.

Haydn: You can always swing by the house, and my massage therapist can help.

Pia: I’ll use the spa gift certificate you gave me instead.

Haydn: Go out on a date with me.

Pia: What if I bring yet more drama to your door?

Haydn: What if this time you tell me what drama might appear so I’m ready? No more keeping me in the dark.

Pia: Hey, I had no idea Keane was alive. You already know why I was hiding most of the relationship with him.

Haydn: Are you two . . .?

Pia: Together? Nope. That’s not a relationship I want to revisit. Lang was right, it was toxic. For some reason I thought I was there to save him—but no one was there to save me from him. Not that I thought I needed it back then. I was blinded by love. I did love him, you know?

Haydn: You always see the good in people. Are you at least getting closure?

Pia: I’m working with a therapist. At some point I have to reach out to Keane. We haven’t spoken since that day. I heard from Constantine that Rowan picked him up the same day, and they left for Seattle.

Haydn: He did. Your brother and Rowan . . . they almost got in a fight, I had to come between them. There’s some kind of resentment between them that . . . it was weird if you ask me.

Pia : They used to be very close friends. After the accident they fell apart.

Haydn: I shouldn’t care about Keane, but I keep waiting for someone to announce that he’s alive.

Pia: Right? It’s so weird that he’s not back in the spotlight.

Haydn: How will you be resolving your feelings for him?

Pia: I think this is something we should talk about in person, not over text.

Haydn: Again, go out with me.

Pia: Or even discuss it during a date.

Haydn: Okay, so why don’t we meet for coffee first and then have a date later?

Pia: I . . .

Haydn: If you’re not ready, it’s okay. Just know I’m not giving up on us. Even if it takes years, I’ll still be waiting for you.

Pia: I do love you.

Haydn: I know.

Pia: I just want to make sure that I’m with you for the right reasons and that I’m not hiding things—from you or myself.

Haydn: I understand why you’re doing this. I said it then, and I’ll say it again: take your time. When you’re ready, I want us to be fully involved in each other’s lives. No more keeping me on the sidelines. If you’re not ready for that, I’ll wait.

Pia: It felt like if I saved him, maybe we could save our baby. Which sounds crazy, but after so many weeks in therapy, it seems like the loss of our baby is the part I haven’t been able to get over. I didn’t grieve her the way I should—it hurt so much.

Haydn: Grief can be many things. The loss will never go away, it’ll just morph into love. A love that you’ll carry with you forever. She’s inside of you, in your heart. Maybe you need to see it from a different perspective.

Pia: You sound like my therapist.

Haydn: Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading a lot more about grief and discussing it with my team.

Pia: You are discussing my life with the entire Orcas organization?

Haydn: :laughing: emoji

Pia: I’m serious here.

Haydn: Obviously not. I have a team of counselors helping me through my own shit and we’ve talked about losing people. Even the grief you’ve been dealing with.

Pia: That’s . . . different and not what I expected. Very mature.

Haydn: I’m almost forty. The least I could do is start acting my age. One day I’ll retire and we’ll be raising a family. I want them to have someone to look up to, not a guy who can’t understand their mother—or himself.

Pia: You’re just turning thirty-nine early next year.

Haydn: That’s almost forty.

Pia: You say potato, I say you’re not that old. But thank you.

Haydn: For?

Pia: Understanding, loving me, being so patient . . . for being you.

Haydn: No need to thank me, just come back to me soon, babe. I miss you.

Pia: Miss you too.