34. Switch

34

SWITCH

I lie in bed, Sophia fast asleep in my arms, thinking about what I overheard last night.

I'm falling in love with my husband while simultaneously preparing myself for the fact there may come a time when he decides I'm not the person for him.

And I come to one conclusion.

We rushed everything.

And because we married to avoid her being married to someone else, and for me to help my mom fight her cancer, Sophia is always going to wonder what my real motives are.

So, we need to go back to the beginning.

I need to date my wife.

I need to romance her.

I need to show her in actions how much she's coming to mean to me.

And perhaps in doing that, we'll fall all the way in love to a place where we feel comfortable telling each other.

I slip my arm from beneath her, grab my phone from the side table, and pad downstairs. It's cold in the house, and I adjust the thermostat so it's warm when Sophia wakes.

Once I have a cup of coffee in my hand, I sit on the sofa and open the group text.

Me: Brothers. I want to spoil my wife. She's been through shit and it's time I started building a life with her instead of bouncing from one issue to the next. I need ideas. What should I do? Where should I take her? What should I buy her? What works for your old ladies?

Given it's only six thirty in the morning, I don't expect a lot of answers.

So, I send another message to my mom.

Me: Just checking in to see how you are doing. I hope the nausea has stopped and that you managed to keep some food down. I'm thinking Soph and I might fly down to see you soon if you are up to it and the doc says it's okay for us to fly and for you to have visitors. Love you.

After trading my phone for my coffee cup, I take a sip and lean back against the sofa.

Halo told me it was an incredible feeling, creating a house, and then it becoming a family home, like his did for him, Ari, and Lola…the opposite of what he envisioned. I look around the large kitchen made for catering for lots of people and the sectional sofa that can easily sit eight. I don't know what I envisioned this house becoming, but I hope it becomes home to a large family with Sophia.

Even if it means I have to get used to La Cosa Nostra as in-laws.

My phone vibrates on the table, and I pick it up. Surprisingly, my whole muscle chain from my shoulder to my arm feels so much looser. Raheel has good hands, and I find myself wondering if I shouldn't just pay the guy to come here every week.

Niro: Fight sex, weapons, and baked goods. Doesn't matter what's going on with Cat…bad mood, period shit, whatever. One of those three things will solve it.

I laugh at Niro's reply.

Me: How very on brand! Why you up so early?

Niro: Baked goods. I was an asshole yesterday. Life went a little off-kilter. Cat understands, but making baked goods this morning shows I do too.

I think about what Niro just said. It's in the showing. I need to show Sophia that we're tight. I can't simply tell her with words and it be enough.

Me: If those baked goods include cinnamon rolls, can you make a couple extra and I'll ride over and pick ‘em up?

Niro: Done. I'll message you.

Halo: Sex toys. Nothing says I love you like multiple Os.

Niro: Guess we all know why Halo's awake.

Halo: One day you'll have a one-year-old and realize you gotta fit fucking in around feeding and going to baby yoga.

King: You go to baby yoga?

Halo: Fuck no. But Ari does. And I can't fuck her if she's with twenty other moms at the corner of Memorial and Sunset.

Me: Weapons and sex toys weren't what I had in mind.

Vex: Maybe they should be. Haven't met a woman yet who hasn't been relieved at the sight of a vibrator. They all secretly fucking love ‘em.

Vibrators aren't a bad idea given our conversation on a previous night. If she wants to try everything, I could get some additional supplies. I love the idea that someday soon I could fuck her ass if she's down with us trying.

King: Rae loves that restaurant on Emory and Bangs. Won't let you in with your cut or any visible colors. I'd beat the crap out of the owner for that alone, but Rae loves their raw shit.

Clutch: Take her to a fancy shoe shop and tell her she can buy ten pairs of shoes. Not gonna tell you what Gwen did in return seeing King's in the chat.

King replies with a row of vomiting emojis.

Clutch: Seeing you asked so nicely… Told her she had to fuck me once in every pair. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

King: I DID NOT FUCKING ASK.

Spark: Why the fuck is the chat going off at this time in the morning? You assholes woke Iris.

Niro: You really don't know the answer to that? Like, can't you read?

Spark: Fuck you.

Niro: Wow. Someone's a grouch this morning. Does someone need a hug?

Bates: Vi loves sentimental shit. Got her a bracelet with mine, her, and Avery's initials as charms on it. Took her up to my uncle's cottage where we'd been before. Shit like that. Memory type shit.

Saint: Picnics.

Clutch: Picnics? Who the fuck are you? Martha Stewart?

Niro adds a row of laughing emojis.

So does Bates.

Saint: Fuck you all. Briar fucking loves when I grab some food, wrap her up in one of my thick riding jackets, and ride down the coast. Thermos of coffee. Talk about important shit or nothing at all. Then ride back with her on the back of my bike. Leaves her feeling some kind of way when we get home. Never feel closer to her than those days. Costs fuck all but a bit of time and effort.

King: Gotta agree with that one.

Niro: Rare I get Cat to agree to be a backpack rather than take her own bike… but when I do … yeah. I feel that.

Spark : If you're all turning into sentimental pussies, I'm going back to sleep with my old lady. Night, motherfuckers.

Niro: Technically it's morning, motherfuckers.

Halo: Find things that relax her mind. Ari likes puzzles and journalling and shit. Speaking of which, Ari's just walked back into the bedroom. Gotta go, fellas.

The chat fizzles out, and I'm sipping my coffee when my phone vibrates with an incoming video chat.

"Hey, Teddy Bear," Mom says.

She looks tired. Dark circles sit beneath her eyes. But Dad reassures me that everyone on her medical team is incredibly optimistic about her treatment. She's on the deck at the back of the house in a blanket, and the pre-dawn sky is dark blue with slashes of purple and orange.

"What are you doing awake?" I ask.

She takes in a deep breath and looks up at the sky. "I've got a new appreciation for the sunrise these days."

I hear the unspoken words. That life is short and precious and can be taken away in a heartbeat. That the sunrise is a sign you made it through another night and live to fight another day.

"I love you, Mom," I say, trying to choke down the emotion I feel.

"And I love you, sweetheart. How's Sophia?"

"She's good. Her family don't particularly like the fact I'm an Outlaw." I gloss over the reason why.

She huffs. "Lord knows why they wouldn't love you. A veteran. A medic. A good man. Tell them I didn't raise you all these years for them to turn up their nose at the sight of a little leather."

I chuckle. "Always the momma bear."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Would you expect anything less? I can't wait to meet her in person. You think she'd be okay with me messaging her? Just to get to know her a little."

The idea of the two most important women in my life loving each other warms me inside. "I think she'd like that."

There's a comfortable moment of silence between us. I sip my coffee while Mom looks up at the sky.

"Hey, Mom," I say. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"I rushed things with Sophia."

She immediately looks concerned. "You're regretting it?"

I shake my head. "No. God, no. I'm not regretting it. But I am regretting that I haven't put more of an effort into, you know…"

Her face softens. "You want to woo your wife?"

"Yeah. I do. What should I do?"

"You wanna know what your father's first words to me were?"

I place my coffee cup on the table. "I'm not sure. Do I?"

She chuckles. "He said I'd look great riding his face but would look even better on the back of his bike."

I can't help but laugh. "Dad. Always the charmer."

"From that day until now, he's always made me feel good about myself. Not once has he put me down, made me feel less, or called me names in an argument. He's made me feel like his equal in a world where women are called property. Sure, he's bought me expensive things, but it's the flowers he brings me every Friday and the way he's not missed a single medical appointment with me that show me just how much he cares for me. Woo her by showing her you'll be there for her in every way that matters, Theo. Because that's what love is."

Tears fill her eyes, but she's no longer looking at me. She's smiling at someone. The phone suddenly shifts angle. Mom squeals with laughter. And when the video settles, she's sitting on Dad's lap.

He kisses her cheek. "Love you too, sweetheart."

"Theo wanted to know how to woo his wife," Mom says. "What advice would you give him?"

"First, I would have said find a girl who makes it easy to love her." Dad glances at Mom, even though she's looking at me. "And then don't forget you're a husband first. Carry the heavy shit. Fix the broken things. Make the money. Give her the easiest life you possibly can."

Mom chuckles. "You know you still didn't clear the gutters yet?"

Dad rolls his eyes. "I'll get to it when the sun's up. Just…make sure she knows she's safe with you. That you aren't going to let the world hurt her. That you aren't going to hurt her either."

I think about Sophia. "I'm starting to think she's more than capable of taking care of herself."

Mom smiles. "Well, that's when she's going to need you most. If an adult woman is that capable of taking care of herself, it's usually because she's never had anyone else she can turn to. Show her what it means to be able to fully trust another human being, Theo. Show her what it means to love and trust another person with your whole heart."

I think about Sophia in that context. Growing up in a life like this one. Straddling the law. Constant jockeying in power struggles. The risk of being kidnapped or becoming collateral. It takes a toll.

"I'll do that," I commit. "Thanks for being the best fucking role models of what it means to love someone for life."

Mom blows me a kiss. Dad nods.

"We'll speak to you later," Dad says. "Got some shit I'd like to say and do with your mom now."

"That's more information than I needed. Love you."

I hang up the phone, feeling better for speaking to them both.

And Operation Woo My Wife begins ninety minutes later when she makes it to the kitchen in one of my hoodies.

"Are those Niro's cinnamon rolls?" she asks, looking at the two monster rolls on the platter, thick with his cream cheese icing.

"Yup. And coffee. Went to an Italian cafe down on the shore and grabbed you a double espresso."

"God, you are the best husband." She steps up onto her toes and kisses me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I also made some plans, so sit, eat and drink, while I tell you them."

"I was hoping to make a start on the journals and the laptop," she says.

"Shit. Yeah. Got caught up making plans. They can wait if you want."

Sophia looks at me, a smear of cream cheese icing on her lip. I rub it off with the pad of my thumb, then press it into her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it, and now I'm sitting here with the fixings of a boner.

"What were the plans?"

I managed to get ahold of Bruiser, a club hangaround who runs a bike shop fifteen minutes away. "Step one, getting you your own leathers and boots. Step two, checking in on Vex that he got your smashed phone. Step three, riding south down the shore for as long as we feel like going. Step four, picnic if it's dry, lunch somewhere if it's not. Step five, stop at a sex shop I know on the way home so we can start working our way through our list of things to try when we get home. Step six, dinner before I have to go out tonight. But we can do it another day."

Sophia takes another bite of her cinnamon roll, then shakes her head. "If we can condense things a little, I can look at them this afternoon."

"Fucking perfect."

Step one goes smoothly, and while I thought Sophia looked good in Catalina's leathers…she looks even better in her own. And she has fun picking out the boots and the helmet. She settles on a black one with silver lines on it.

"How do I look?" she asks.

"Utterly fuckable," I answer honestly.

Bruiser laughs as Sophia blushes.

We then go home and pick up the bike. I connect our helmets so we can talk to each other.

"You sure you feel up to this?" Sophia asks as I climb on and lean the bike toward her.

"Seeing Raheel and Lori really helped. And I don't have any sign of a headache. If I do, I promise I'll pull over and call for one of the guys to come bring us home. Put your hand on my shoulder and let me take as much weight as you need to."

I've backed the bike up to the step from the driveway to the path to the front door. Figured it would be easier for her to maneuver herself onto the bike with the extra height.

It takes us a minute. I lower the angle of the bike, putting my foot on the step and taking the weight of the bike in my arms. It helps Sophia get her leg over the seat. And finally, we're good to go.

"Ready?" I ask, pulling in the clutch before revving the engine.

Sophia laughs and we get underway.

God, it feels good to be out. Saint's idea was perfect. I take the long way to the clubhouse, but it's still not long enough. There are bikes parked outside, and I pull up next to Vex's.

The clubhouse stinks when I open the door. Bikers lay strewn on sofas; girls lie on bikers. And I remember a night…the chapter from Bethlehem was with us. I slept with Penny. Ended up hungover for two days after.

Penny.

Fuck.

She had a sweet side but wasn't always a kind person. The sex was on fire, but I didn't love her.

I haven't seen her since I came back, and that's probably for the best. Not because Sophia should feel threatened, but because I suddenly remember her being cruel to Vi. I'm glad she isn't around to put Sophia through that.

Sophia's hand slides up my arm. "You okay?" she asks me quietly.

"Yeah. Just thinking I actually don't miss this. Well, the drinking and telling stories and hanging out with brothers part? Maybe. But the women and sleeping on sofas got old. And now I have you at home. Yeah. Think I'll always prefer to be back with you when I can be."

"That's actually really sweet."

We make our way into the kitchen, and I knock on Vex's office door. "What's up, brother?" I say when I find him with his head down behind his monitors.

When he looks up at me, I can see the concern in his face immediately. "Was just about to call you."

He hands Sophia a brand-new phone. "Don't ask me how I was able to do this. It took all night."

Sophia takes it from him. "But I don't need a new phone."

"It's got all the stuff from your old phone on it," Vex says. "That way you can get rid of the phone you have now given we don't even know whose name the contract is in."

Sophia looks to me, and I nod. "Thank you, brother. Was her data still on it?"

Vex glances at me while Sophia looks at her phone. "Yes. There's an unsent message, a video, to Alessio. I saved it to the device."

Sophia's brow furrows. "You went through my messages?"

"Of course I went through your messages. Went through everything you have on there," Vex says without apology. "We're an MC, not a mall repair shop. Needed to know what kind of risk you put us in."

"And?" I ask.

"You need to watch it, but you should sit down first," Vex says.

Sophia ignores the advice and presses Play on the video. "Ale. Answer your damn phone. I'm being followed. Chased."

The video footage is chaotic. Seeing Sophia without her facial injuries is a shock. Seeing the fear in my girl's eyes has my gut in turmoil.

"Dad knows I'm on to him," she continues. "Those spreadsheets I was talking about earlier? Dad's been syphoning off money from the investors. It's a lot, Ale. Like, a hole so big, I don't think he's going to be able to close the gap. He told me to meet him for lunch at the house. And when I got there, he had two of those stooges from the Aglieri crew with him. Mickey Junior and Tony. I overheard him saying it was important to find out what I knew so they could follow through on making it look like I was at fault. I considered running for the front door, but Uncle Carmine was in the hallway, so I went to the bathroom and escaped through the window. Ale. I think Aglieri's men are following me. I don't know how I'm?—"

The rest is hard to watch. The sound sickening. It was difficult enough seeing the extent of her injuries. Knowing how they happened was the stuff of nightmares.

There's a loud scream.

Crunching metal.

The phone flies through the interior of the car at such speed it's impossible to make sense of what we're seeing.

Then nothing.

"Oh, God. I think I'm going to be sick," Sophia says.

And while I take care of my wife, I make a vow that I'm going to kill her father.