12. Sophia

12

SOPHIA

A group of people steps ahead of us. The woman is wearing a pretty ivory cocktail dress and carrying a little posy of flowers. I don't know how I imagined my wedding was going to go before, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't wearing hiking boots, jeans, and a gray sweater.

I look over to the road, where Niro's truck and all the chrome-and-steel motorbikes are lined up beneath a No Parking sign. Two younger men wearing cuts that say Prospect on the back stand by them. I pity the person who tries to get the men to move.

And I try to ignore the argument happening to my right.

"You can't marry a woman you barely know," King says. "This isn't you. You need to give yourself time to reconsider. Plus, your mom will kill you for getting married without her here, and then she'll kill me for not stopping you."

It's heartwarming the way these grown men are still scared of their moms.

"I know Sophia," Theo says. "Look. I almost lost my life. My chance of a future was nearly taken away from me." He glances in my direction, and I almost believe the honesty in his eyes when he looks at me. Like I'm more than a damsel in need of saving and something worth treasuring instead. "It does something to a man. Makes him reevaluate what's important. Sophia's my future, and I'm not prepared to waste a day of it."

His words make me weak.

My phone rings and I glance down at it.

My papà.

I almost answer it on autopilot.

My heart sinks. Given my brothers arrived at the center at the same moment I left, it's taken him four hours to call. It's also odd that the center hasn't attempted to call before now. Nor my mamà.

"Listen," Theo says finally. "I get it. You guys all care for me. But letting Sophia go isn't something I want. I just need you to be happy for us."

"Fuck me," Bates says. "Vi was just telling me about the latest book she's writing, and it had an insta-love trope. Like, where the guy falls first and falls hardest."

Theo reaches out his hand for me, and I make my way over to him as best as I can. My body aches right now. The more than four hours sitting in the truck didn't do me any favors. I feel like a pretzel on a good day.

King tugs a hand through his hair. "You know this is fucked up, right?"

Theo smiles. "From the stories you all told me while I was in the hospital and since I got out, it sounds like fucked up is really business as usual for us."

Vex slaps Theo on the shoulder. "Sounds about right."

Theo looks to King. "Brother, I'm doing this anyway."

"Explain it to me. Why Sophia?"

Theo shakes his head. "I'm a grown man, King. I don't need to explain my relationships to you. But what I will say is this: Sophia is loyal. Courageous. Funny. She's been an anchor when I felt like I was disappearing. Sat there and looked up shit about bikes to calm me when they were shoving me through scan after scan."

King shakes his head. "That can all be true, but you don't have to marry her to continue that."

Theo shocks me by releasing my hand and taking a step into King's space. King doesn't even flinch, but Theo seems to grow in stature and composure. "Again. I don't have to explain this to you. If you don't call a vote and sanction me marrying Sophia and making her my old lady, I'm still walking into that courthouse and marrying her."

I move toward Theo but Vex stops me. "It's okay," he says in hushed tones. "I've got him covered but let him handle this."

Halo and Spark step up on either side of King. They sense the tension like I do.

"Fine," King says, finally. "Marry her." He looks directly at me. "As far as I'm concerned, you haven't proved why you should be an old lady of the club. You figure out how to do that, and we'll take a vote."

"I'll look after him," I say. But I realize how pathetic it sounds. How on earth will I do that? I can't support him financially. Definitely not physically. Maybe emotional support is all I have, but I have no previous skills to draw on to help.

"We know you will." It's Niro who squeezes my shoulder. "I've got your back."

King eyes Niro. "Once upon a time, that wouldn't have been a ringing endorsement."

Niro shrugs. "Once upon a time, you were the asshole who thought kidnapping a brother's sister was a good idea."

King's glare eases for a moment, and I see the flicker of a smile as his shoulders relax.

"For fuck's sake, you drove the van," King says.

Niro chuckles. "Oh, yeah. Forgot about that."

King turns to me. "You happy with this, Sophia?"

A small nagging voice tells me I should share with King exactly who I am. It feels as though I am putting Theo, Cat, and Niro in harm's way. But if I do, I'm in trouble. "I am."

King offers Theo his hand. "Then congratulations, brother."

He shakes it, and the two of them hug.

"Come on, let's go register," Theo says, taking my hand eventually.

"Wait," Catalina says. "She can't get married in hiking boots. What size are you? I'll grab you something while you register."

"Oh, no," I say. "It's fine, it's?—"

"Tell her," Theo says, and I find myself answering before Theo leads us around the corner.

"Your club members don't like me very much, do they?"

He looks down at me. "I remember hanging around the club as a kid. The brothers, my dad, and some of the other guys' dads, they were so close-knit that you couldn't have driven a nail between them. Their old ladies were all friends. I'm guessing that's what we all have now. They're just looking out for me."

The left side of my body aches, when my left foot hits the floor, it hurts. "Can we slow down, please?"

"Shit. Sorry, Sparrow. You want to sit for a minute?" He points to an industrial blue bench in the corridor.

"No. It's okay. But I need the steps to be a little shorter and not feel like I have to jog to keep up with your long legs."

Just before the registration office, I pull on Theo's hand to stop him. "Last chance," I say. "It's easy for me to do this. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose. You can leave me here. I'll find a shelter. Give them a fake name. Build a new life for myself doing…something."

He puts his finger to his lips and moves us away from the door. "Can't let them hear you…talking like that or they'll get suspicious one of us is…forcing the other. Last time I'm gonna say it, and you're going to listen, Sparrow. We're getting married because it works for both of us. I get to do something that'll make Mom happy and because looking after you is going to give me a purpose I couldn't find for myself. Can't explain it better than that. I was fucking aimless. Have been since I woke up in that…fucking hospital. Then you stepped out of that pool like a movie heroine."

I scoff. "Hardly. How many movie heroines have you seen with a severe limp, poor leg mobility, nerve damage, and a scar down their face?"

His gaze turns stern for a moment. "Stop talking about yourself like that."

"It's true. Look at how many villains are physically imperfect. So many movies I've watched in the past few months deliberately use it to imply nefarious behavior. The ‘facial scars equal villain' trope is ableist, but it happens for a reason. People see us as lesser or a representation of evil."

"And I can't control my words."

"Perhaps you haven't noticed, but it has seemed better since we decided to run until just now."

He closes his eyes for a second and breathes.

"I'm sure Doc would have an opinion on why that is," he says finally. "But anyway, I have issues with my arms and grip. On any given day, I'm one…heartbeat away from a debilitating headache. Memories are flickering on and off, but I have no idea if they're real or not. Next time I hear you put yourself down, I'm going to take you over my knee and…spank your ass."

An ache starts in my chest, even as my whole core clenches. I can't possibly admit that sounds…delicious.

Theo reaches out and touches my cheek. His smile is all-knowing. Like he just read my thoughts. "We got off topic." He takes another deep breath. "You give me something to aim for, Sparrow."

"Wait. Did you say your memories are flickering?"

He shrugs. "I don't know if that's the right word for what's happening, but occasionally I get the ghost of an idea of why I know something. I see images out of context. Of my brothers. Of things in the past."

"Is that why you keep getting the headaches, do you think? Because your brain is healing?"

"That's what Doc thinks."

"Then you should still be there so they can help you."

King and Clutch appear at the bottom of the corridor, and Theo's thumb grazes my lips. "I'd rather get married. Plus, we need to make this real so they believe us, and that's way more fun than physiotherapy."

I study him for a moment. This handsome man who is about to become my legally fake husband. Then nod. "Okay."

He kisses me softly, his touch reassuring. "This good?" he asks.

"Very. It's not a hardship kissing you."

"The crush, huh?" Theo teases.

"A very minor one that I'm sure would have gone away the next time you annoyed me."

He slips his arm around my waist, holding our bodies closer. It's a strain to look straight up at him; I've never been quite so aware of our height difference.

"Eventually I'm gonna kiss you when we have a little more time and nobody chasing us."

"Do you think they are?"

Theo shrugs. "I don't know, but I'll feel better once we're married."

Registering takes us about an hour. There's a line, then paperwork. My biggest fear, that they wouldn't accept my license, is quickly put to rest. We choose the self-officiating option, so we don't have to wait a moment longer than we need to.

By the time we make it back to the rest of the Outlaws and tell them what is happening, there are already bags and boxes.

"Are you okay?" Catalina asks as she follows me into the bathroom to change.

"Today has been a lot."

She hangs the bag over the cubicle door, then takes both my hands. "Close your eyes for a minute. Take a deep breath or two."

I do as she says. I flex my toes in my shoes and deliberately plant them down again to ground myself. When I open my eyes, I feel a little steadier.

"King asked me to double-check you are here because you want to be."

"I am. I…it's just…" I blow out a breath. "It's complicated."

Catalina nods. "Iris has this thing she always says. It's hard to be in this life because it's always the women who get hurt."

I run my fingertip over my scar and eye patch. "I can attest to that."

"Here." Catalina offers me a garment bag and a shoe box. "Start getting changed. Was your family really going to marry you to a stranger?"

I step into a cubicle and do as Cat says. "We overheard my brothers discussing it. I have no idea why. Honestly, I don't even remember my family. So, who they are, what they do, and how they do it are a mystery to me. But they seemed to suggest it was some big ‘bringing two families together' kind of thing."

The dress is red. A beautiful, stunning deep red. With thin straps and a corseted top and tea-length full skirt, it's a piece of art.

And it will show most of my scars.

I don't know much, but I'm pretty certain a bride should feel beautiful on her wedding day, and I already feel brittle at the idea that I'm getting ready in a government building's bathroom.

"Fucking men," Catalina says. "And they wonder why we pick the bear."

I slip out of my clothes. "The bear?"

"It's a thing. Would you rather be stuck alone in the woods with a man or a bear? And women always pick the bear. You know, like, at least everyone would believe you if a bear attacked you. Or, if you were attacked by a bear, no one would ask you what you were wearing. Only men would come up with the idea of marrying off a female family member to secure power."

She's right. A bear wouldn't give a shit who I married.

With resolve, I pull on the dress and shoes, stuff my clothes and boots into the garment bag, and step out.

"You look hot," Cat says. "When I left the house with Niro, I didn't know we'd be doing wedding chic, but you can borrow my comb, my lipstick, and any jewelry I'm wearing. And I'm sorry. I was an ass, thinking only about the club, earlier. There are times I'm more like the men than I am proud of or want to admit."

I put the things I'm carrying on a length of counter near the sinks. "I don't have any strong female friendships that I can remember, but I'm open to making new ones. Apology accepted."

Catalina hugs me. "Good. Because I really want to fix that hair of yours before you go marry your fiancé."

I laugh at that. "Like I said, it's been a rough day."