40. Adrianna

40

ADRIANNA

I wish I could say the morning light flutters through the window, dancing in the air with a summer's glow as the birds chirp in the distance, waking me from a deep slumber that rests my body from head to toe. I wish I could, but I can't, because this is not a fairy tale and I didn't sleep for shit.

Thankfully, the shallow breaths of my Kryptos kept me company as they slept while I tossed and turned relentlessly before I finally gave up.

Looking up at the sky, I try to guess the time by the location of the sun, but my brain is too tired to really care. I slipped out here hours ago, when I finally gave up on sleep, and I can't deny that Beau has a pretty house. The sun peeks above the tree line as the sound of the gentle stream nearby filters through my ears, a calming burble that tries to help me put things in perspective.

The academy is on the brink of failure and the kingdom is worse off than ever, leaving the ability to sleep far beyond what I can achieve. I can't stop thinking, I can't stop my mind from wandering down every possible avenue to bring peace to our people, but every road is blocked.

Despite my inner turmoil, which now seems to be my new state of mind, my magic has different ideas. Not my wolf, and not my new bright light, just my fae magic. My royal fae magic.

My bare feet are planted on the ground, my toes curling into the grass as I connect with my earth magic. It rejuvenates me slowly, filling the void my lack of sleep created as the gentle breeze swoops around my body, dancing along my air magic and zapping me back to life.

Despite how head tired I am, my magic is doing what I can't seem to achieve alone: bringing me back to life.

The fight isn't over. If anything, it's barely begun. Taking out Vallie and her uncle was nothing in the grand scheme of things, or so it feels like, so my magic is replenishing me, ready for the uphill battle that's ahead.

A shiver runs down my spine as my fire magic comes to life, and my eyes pop open. I hadn't even realized they were closed. Turning my hand so my palm is up, I smile when a flicker of heat dances along my fingertips before settling into a ball in my grasp.

It's funny how something so small can bring so much focus and strength to a moment. I'm sitting here, working my way along every road to certain death as I try to play out the future, while the embers in my palms remind me that things aren't always as they seem.

To the outside world, I'm a girl with pointed ears and a history of being a forsaken origin. I'm a lowly fae, just like the others. No real power, no superiority, no grace among the lands, but that's not what this is about. It's about purpose. It's about beliefs. It's about humanity.

Not just for the superior origins to rule down on others, but for everyone. From the assholes at the top of the food chain to the lowly fae at the bottom. If the academy has taught me anything, it's that I know how to fall, I know how to stand myself back up, and I know how to dust myself off.

If I want a different outcome, then I have to fucking find one myself.

It's not going to just fall in my lap; I have to choose it, I have to want it, I have to fight for it.

Tomorrow isn't promised, only today is guaranteed, and what I choose to do with it is all that counts.

What do I want to count? What matters the most?

My eyes fall closed as I take a deep breath. If all of this was to end tomorrow, what would I want? Not for the kingdom, not for anyone else, just for me. What would matter then?

A flash of my father and Nora comes to mind, my heart guiding me back to my family, just as it always has. Only this time, they're not alone. Brody, Cassian, Kryll, and Raiden stand beside them, with Flora and Arlo hovering in the background.

That's my family, both blood and chosen. I didn't find them, they found me, in the mess that embroils the academy and kingdom, they found me. I can't take any responsibility for it, not when I've used all of my might to push them all away as far as possible. If it was my doing, I would be sitting here alone with no one to call my friend or my love.

My chin dips to my chest as I take in another deep breath. I try to see what else I would want today to hold, but I draw a blank. Selfishness isn't something I've ever had the privilege of. If it's not my family, my devotion has always then fallen to the kingdom, just as my father taught me.

I can't see selfishly when there are so many things that matter more to me.

"It's insane how beautiful you look. Even when you're deep in thought. Your eyebrows furrow so tight I'm certain you're going to kill someone, yet really, this is the softest side of you."

My eyes open as I turn to find Kryll hovering by the back door. His words warm my soul as I offer him a slight smile.

"It feels like I'm always plotting someone's death," I murmur, amusement curling my lip as he approaches.

"As long as it's not mine, I'm all in," he replies, offering his hand out for me to take.

I consider pulling him down beside me, but think better of it when my wolf senses pick up on more voices coming from inside the house.

"Do I want to go back in there?" I ask, nodding toward the door as I stand, and he grins.

"If you want peace and quiet, no. If you want to hear what Beau has to say, then probably. It would be a definite yes if you knew everyone else needs you to guide them."

I roll my eyes at him. "No one needs me to guide them, but I'm intrigued with what Beau has to say," I answer, and he stops me in my tracks as I attempt to move toward the door. Only when my gaze is fixed on him does he speak.

"I feel dumb. I'm such a man." He rolls his eyes. "That was definitely my dragon's thoughts coming through," he grumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously with his free hand. "What I should say to you, what I should have said forever ago, is that we only function with you. This only works because of you. Our only chance of surviving this carnage is you . I'm sorry for thinking you would just magically know what I was thinking." I blink at him, a few times for good measure, as I struggle to find the words to respond. He must sense my struggle because he swiftly pulls me into his side, guiding me toward the house. "You're even prettier when you're stunned," he muses before brushing his lips against my temple.

The second we step inside, the noise turns up to new levels. Making my way into the kitchen, I find everyone standing around the dining table like there aren't any chairs for them to take a seat. Arlo has his arm slung protectively around Flora's shoulders as they both stare expectantly at Beau, the man seemingly causing an uproar as Raiden and Cassian both yell over each other and the professor in a bid to be heard. Brody stands at the other end of the table, hands planted on his hips as he stares at the mess unraveling in front of him, as if he's trying to find a solution to the madness. His head dips after a beat, making it clear he doesn't know what to do with them.

Sighing, I move out from under Kryll's arm and slide between Raiden and Beau. "That's enough," I yell, my voice carrying through the room as everyone falls silent. Wow. I wasn't actually expecting that to work. "I don't know what you're all yelling about, but it's done with. Someone speak calmly and make sense so I can understand whatever is causing this mayhem," I add, pressing my back against Raiden's chest as I turn expectantly to Beau.

Something tells me it's going to be him that has answers for me, while Raiden is going to need the distraction of my body against his to quiet him down enough for me to hear. I'm not ashamed to use my body as a weapon in this fashion, especially not when his hands find their way to my waist. His fingers flex on my hips, making me shift farther back against him as Beau sighs.

"I tried to breeze over whatever I could, but it seems like they already had information," he states, pushing a hand through his hair, and I frown.

"Who?"

"The media."

Fuck.

"Of course they do," I grumble, my lips pursing with agitation. "What do they know?" I ask, just before a newspaper is pressed against my chest. I look up at the hand flattening it against me to find Cassian's narrowed eyes and taut jaw.

"They know that the kingdom is in uproar and everything is a mess," he grunts, taking a step back when I reach for the papers, my eyes quickly scanning over the front page of the Harrows News.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"They know everything," I rasp, turning the page to see the story continue. They know of Kenner's leverage with The Council, even though he's never been a member, they know about the fated mates, they know I'm a wolf; they know every last detail, right down to Vallie's death, resurrection, and redeath.

My chest clenches, my heart thundering in my ears as I place the paper on the dining table.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

"At least there aren't any secrets," Flora murmurs, and my gaze cuts to hers. I stare into her eyes, deep into her irises, watching as she swallows nervously. At first I worry it's guilt, like she might be the source of it all, but that's not it. I can sense it around her eyes and in her heart. She's a bystander in this for the most part, and she has a point.

"You're right," I breathe, nodding as she offers me a weak smile. "The issues with The Council have gone on for so long because they've maintained a level of secrecy that isn't fair to the kingdom. The people deserve to know this."

"They don't deserve to know everything about you, Addi. That's not their right," Cassian grunts, nostrils flaring as he glares at me, and I shrug.

"If I had been Princess Adrianna all of these years, they would have known anyway. But I was hidden, kept a secret, to protect myself, yes, but it hasn't worked in the kingdom's favor or my own. Them knowing all of this is better than trying to face anyone outside of this room without them knowing."

"Spoken like a true leader," Beau murmurs, making my eyes widen as I face him. He takes a moment to stare at me, like he's trying to convey something, but I have no idea what. Likely aware that his efforts are futile, he sighs, and I feel the weight of the words before he even speaks them. "Bozzelli has lifted the lockdown on the academy. Students who wish to return home may do so."