Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

W hat felt like hours later, Leo experienced a desperate need come over him for solitude. There were people in his life obviously, but not this many at once usually, and his clothes were suddenly feeling too tight. He made his way through the crowds to the door and walked through.

Leo wanted to breathe some cool night air, and he wanted it now.

"Up the stairs, take the hall, and at the end, you will find the room where Eden has hung artwork. Go and study it, Leo. There are also doors that lead to a small balcony in there should you wish to inhale smoky London air."

The words were spoken by Devonshire Sinclair from behind him.

"I will lie if anyone asks where you have gone." He smiled, his vibrant green eyes flaring. "I can see you are in need of solitude, my friend. Go and take a few minutes."

"Thank you, Dev, I will not be long."

"For what it is worth, Leo, we're glad to have you back among us," Dev said before he turned to reenter the ballroom.

Humbled at the words, Leo climbed the stairs and then found the room at the end of the hall. Entering, he let the peace settle over him. Lamps lit the long room, and he saw that the walls were indeed lined with artwork, but right now, he did not want to study it; he wanted the smog-filled London air.

Opening the door, he stepped outside and found her there.

"I'm sorry, I did not know you were here, my lady. Lord Sinclair directed me this way."

She was standing with both hands gripping the railing, looking out to the gardens below. Moonlight showed him enough of her that he could see she was tense.

"I'm leaving. You can have the balcony, my lord."

"Please. Don't go."

"We cannot be alone out here. You have been away from society too long if you believe otherwise. Even a widow like me cannot flaunt the rules in such a way."

"I wish you no harm, my lady." He moved closer but stopped a few feet from where she stood. "I want to apologize."

"You have no need to do so," she said stiffly.

"But I wish that you would at least hear me out while I endeavor to try."

"It's a night for it," she said softly. "Your sister just did the same, but there is no need for you to do so. I understand why you did what you did."

"That's typical of her, wanting to beat me to it," Leo said, which had Hyacinth snuffling out a laugh.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, my lady, but I am apologizing for walking away from you without a word. I know that what I did hurt you. And I am also apologizing for the way you suffered at the hands of some of society."

"How do you know I suffered?" She was now facing him fully, her lovely topaz eyes on his.

Leo watched as she drew in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, the actions forcing her breasts to rise above the neckline of her dress. He should not be noticing that, but she was an extremely beautiful woman; it was hard not to notice many things about Lady Hyacinth Lowell. Cyn.

"I was told," Leo said.

"I must admit to holding on to my anger toward you and your sister. It kept me sane in the months after you both disappeared from my life. I fueled it with indignation that you would treat me in such a callous way, and yes, there were those who were happy to tell me at every turn that I had been a fool to love one such as you."

"We did treat you callously," he said solemnly.

"No." She sighed. "Yes, I was hurt, but I was also a na?ve girl who saw only her own pain when, in fact, yours was far greater. Your life had turned on its axis, and had I been thinking clearly, and of someone other than myself, I would have seen that too. Perhaps I have hung onto my anger too long." She held out her hand to him. "Shall we move on from that disastrous time in our lives, my lord?"

He closed the distance between them and took the hand. It was small and slender in his.

"Thank you. I am honored to have your forgiveness, my lady. Can I call you Cyn? Because my siblings will forever torment me with the knowledge that you said they could but not me."

"I doubt it's much of an honor," she said, which had him barking out a laugh. "But you have it just the same, and yes, please call me Cyn."

"And I am Leo, as you already know. "

He didn't want to release her hand because it felt good to hold. She did not pull back either. Their eyes just stayed locked on each other, and the need to tug her close was powerful.

"You are beautiful," he whispered.

"And very different from the woman you once knew," she said.

"As I am different."

The sounds of London could be heard around them. The clop of hooves and voices reaching them from the streets below. Someone shouted, but it did not draw their eyes from each other.

He touched her cheek, running a finger slowly down to her jaw. Her skin was cool to the touch from the night air. He then ran his thumb along the soft pout of her bottom lip.

"So beautiful." The words came out a rasp, and then he was closing the distance between them and kissing her. Their hands were still clasped and trapped between them as he took her lush mouth into a deep kiss. The feel of her pressed to his body was heaven. Her soft scent wrapped around him as he devoured her mouth.

"No." She pushed back out of his arms. "That should not have happened."

"But it did," Leo said. His body was hard with the need to hold her again. The need to explore every inch of this woman's body he'd once believed he'd marry.

Her eyes closed briefly. "But it will not again. That—whatever it was—was a mistake."

"A very nice one," Leo felt compelled to say.

Her chin raised. "Because I am a widow, it does not therefore mean I am… I am free with my favors," she snapped.

Leo's temper twitched. "I did not suggest you were. That kiss was something we both wanted."

She exhaled loudly. "Yes, you are right." Her face told him she was not happy to concede that point. "I don't know what came over me, but I assure you, I will not behave in such a rash manner again."

He didn't want anger between them, not now, when they'd just cleared the air.

"Then we shall put it down to a moment of insanity and not think of it again," he lied. He would be thinking about it a great deal. His body was still feeling the residual effects of that kiss and her lush form pressed to his.

"How are your children?"

Her shoulders lowered slowly at the question, and he saw some of the tension ease from her eyes.

"They are well, th-thank you, and badgering me to go to something called the Crabbett Close games." She sneezed loudly.

Clearly, she was still nervous. When they were younger, she'd sneezed a great deal, and it had annoyed him. Now he found it delightful.

He'd been wrong to give in to his need to kiss her. Leo knew there could never be anything between them, as there was too much water under the bridge for that.

No more impulsive urges, and definitely no more kisses.

"The Crabbett Close games are a lot of fun." He then went on to describe in colorful detail what took place, and by the time he'd finished, she was laughing, the kiss well and truly behind them.

Not that I'll forget the feel of her lips on mine.

"Are you reentering society, my lord?"

"I don't think so. I only attended, as the duke is a friend, and the cause an important one."

"And will you be taking the lease on the property next to my agency?"

"We will, so I'm sure we will be seeing each other again," Leo said, and he wasn't sure how she felt about that, as her expression gave nothing away.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to the ballroom before someone notices I've gone. It has been… enlightening."

"Very much so," Leo added solemnly. "Before you go, can I ask you something, Cyn?" Her name felt odd after years of thinking she was Hyacinth, but seeing as she'd agreed to him using it, he would.

She nodded.

"Are you in danger?"

The open expression on her face changed in seconds. The shutters came down.

"I—why would you ask me that?"

"Your husband is showing my brother things that suggest you may be, like the bird of paradise and the symbol the Baddon Boys wear tattooed on their arms. You help ladies of the night, some likely coming from the Bird of Paradise, which is run by the Baddon Boys gang."

She frowned.

"Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but I assure you, Alex really does communicate with the spirits of those that have passed."

"Alex told me that you all are clairvoyants."

Leo exhaled slowly. "Yes, that is the truth."

"And the cuff link led you to the Thames that night where you saved me?" She did not scoff but simply watched him through her beautiful topaz eyes.

"Yes, I find things," he said in a rush. "Missing things, and often they lead me to a person like they did with you."

"I'm not sure if I need to sit down or run screaming from this house," she said.

"Definitely run screaming from the house. I would be grateful if you kept this to yourself, Cyn. "

"I'm not sure anyone would believe me."

"Very likely. Now, back to my original question, are you in danger, and are the Baddon Boys gang involved?" She stiffened, and her eyes moved to his left ear, avoiding eye contact. She then sneezed. "I'm simply trying to help. If you?—"

"I have no wish to continue this discussion here in case someone overhears or sees us together. I must return to the ballroom before I am missed. Good evening." She walked away from him before he could bow.

Leo studied the sway of her skirts and the two fat curls that fell down between her shoulder blades.

With a handful of words, her calm had fled, and she was nervous again, but not from his presence. No, it was due to his mention of the Baddon Boys.