7. Imposter Syndrome

7

Imposter Syndrome

Emma

“You have to do it,” Hayley pleads, placing both hands on my shoulders the moment she bursts through the front door.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at Max’s?”

“I came back. This is more important.” She glances at the corridor. Then, she drags me to the couch.

“What is this about? What are you doing? Leav e me alone,” I grumble. But Hayley’s too strong for me, and I can’t fight her.

“The consulting job for the movie, of course,” she says, sitting me down on the couch.

“I don’t—”

“You have to,” Alice chimes in, coming from her room. She perches herself on the coffee table in front of me. “For the fans.”

Hayley bobs her pink pixie cut. “For the story.”

“For the art,” Alice adds.

“You’ve both lost your minds,” I groan, trying to get up, but Hayley keeps me seated. Dang it. This girl is so strong, I have no chance against her.

“You always say you hate movie adaptations because they butcher the story,” Alice says, a hand on her hip. “Well, these guys are trying to do it right.”

“Come on,” Hayley says, touching my arm. “It’s not just about you. We’re talking millions of fellow readers. You have to help.”

“Then you do it.” Forcing a smile, I lean into the couch. If it’s so important to them, they can take it on. Why do I have to be the one to talk shop with Auston? The last thing I want is to spend time with the guy who broke my heart and made me swear off real men for life.

“They didn’t ask us , ” Hayley says. “Plus, we’re both leaving soon.”

I swallow hard at the reminder. I will be alone for two whole weeks, with the exception of Mr. Darcy, but he rarely comes out of the bookstore.

Alice nods. “And we’ll never be as blunt as you.”

“Hold on.” Hayley lifts her hands. “Are you refusing because you still have feelings for Auston? Because in that case, I totally agree with you. You shouldn’t do it.”

“Oh, right.” Alice grimaces. “I kind of forgot that detail.”

I huff out a loud breath. “I don’t have feelings for Auston! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Then why refuse?” Hayley asks, arching an eyebrow. “You were born for this gig.”

“Yes. You’ll be amazing,” Alice adds, her big eyes glowing as she takes a seat next to me. “And so will the movie.”

I heave a sigh, averting my gaze. I hate these two. It’s not fair, them cornering me like this. Of course I want the movie to be great. I love this story, and it’s about time the movie industry does justice to one of my favorite books.

“Please, Emz,” Alice says, taking my hands. “Do it for us.”

I turn around and quickly realize I shouldn’t have. No one can resist Alice’s puppy-dog eyes. Crap.

“Oh, and Auston said he’d int roduce you to Melissa Fortner. Isn’t that the dream?”

I sit up straight. “Really?” I always love meeting my favorite authors, and I’ve never met Melissa. It would be the dream.

“Absolutely.” Alice smiles. “We thought it was an appropriate form of payment, since you’re not interested in money.”

They know me so well.

Finally, I let out a long breath. “I hate you guys.”

“Yes!” Alice screams, drawing me into a hug while Hayley sits down on my other side. Now they’re both smothering me.

“‘Love’ is the word you’re looking for,” Hayley says, her voice muffled by our hug.

“You’re going to save the movie. You’re our hero,” Alice adds, squealing.

“If I’m still alive by then,” I say, rolling my eyes even though they can’t see me. “I’m running out of air here.”

They both laugh, and Hayley shakes her head “Always so dramatic.”

Alice pulls away and winks. “ Oui. This job is perfect for her.”

Ugh. What have I gotten myself into? It’s six-thirty, and I barely slept last night. I spent the first part of the evening reviewing the NDA Stuart dropped off, in hopes of finding something fishy, giving me an excuse not to sign it. But everything was in order, and I had Alice and Hayley breathing down my neck. And the second part of the evening, I dove into the script.

“Hey.” Hayley yawns, shuffling out of her room. “You’re up early.”

I wave the script in front of me. “I was reading.”

Her eyes light up. “Oh! Already? How is that going?”

“It’s not as bad as I expected but still not very good. Like, they had Diego wear sandals on the beach walk during their trip to Maine.”

Her eyes widen. “No! Diego is a closed-shoe kind of guy. I mean, we’re talking total grumpy businessman. The fact that he even goes to Maine with Sarah in the first place is crazy. He said it himself in the book. He doesn’t do trips that aren’t for work, especially not to the beach.”

“Exactly.” I shake my head. “I know it’s a small detail, but honestly, it’s the little things that annoy me when I watch an adaptation.”

“Agreed.” She sits down at th e table with a bowl of cereal. “It’s a good thing they asked you to give them a hand. And it seems like you’re having a lot of fun, given all the red on that script.”

I glance down. There isn’t a lot of white space left. “Well, they asked for my help, didn’t they?”

She chuckles and shoves a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. “Did Alice sleep here or at Deacon’s?”

“Deacon’s,” I say without looking up. “I’m actually surprised to see you here. With Maxime at his photoshoot yesterday, I thought you’d have gone back over to his place.”

“Yeah, but Aaron and James stopped by, and I didn’t want to be in their way. It’s a big adjustment for them, now that they’ve lost their favorite hangout bar next door.”

Am I a bad friend for silently thanking Max’s teammates for not having steady girlfriends?

“Anyway,” she says, “I’ll eat this in my room and let you finish. Looks like you’re almost done.”

“Yeah. Only a few pages left. Then, I’m meeting Auston.” I swallow hard, trying to wet my dry throat.

She beams. “Have fun!”

Right. Because hanging out with the guy who broke your heart is the definition of amusement.

As I walk to the end of our stree t, my pulse quickens. I’m about to be alone with Auston again, after all this time. As I approach the secure area at the end of the street, I realize I don’t have any credentials to show the security guard.

“This is a restricted area, miss,” the burly guard says, stepping in front of me.

“I’m Emma Sterling. I’ve been asked to work with Auston Buckley.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if there’s no way in heck he’s going to believe that.

Glancing behind him, I spot a couple of fans already waiting behind the barricades. They’re wearing T-shirts with Auston’s face on them and tightly clutching their posters and phones.

“I swear, I don’t care about the guy. Trust me. If he could just disappear, that would make my life so much easier, but—”

“Are you threatening him?” His eyes narrow.

My mouth drops open. “What? No, of course not. I’m harmless.” Mostly. “Look, I have the script right here,” I say, waving it in front of me. “Why would I have this if I wasn’t hired by production?”

“Do you have a contract? ”

I release a breath. Right. Why didn’t I think of that? “Yeah, I do. I’ll go get it.”

“No need,” Auston's voice echoes from behind him, the sound making my heart rattle in my chest. “You can let her through,” he says, sauntering down the steps to exit his trailer. He’s followed by a tall brunette and a tough-looking guy.

The security guard opens the barricade for me, and I offer him a forced smile. With each step toward Auston, I feel heavier. I really didn’t think this thing through.

“Guys, this is Emma, the one who’s going to be working with me on the script. Emma, this is Robyn,” Auston says, turning to the girl. “She’s my assistant. And Cillian is my bodyguard.”

“Nice to meet you,” I say, shaking both their hands.

Auston casts his assistant a quick glance. “Robyn, can you get Emma a pass?”

She offers a bright smile. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll stay out here,” Cillian grunts, holding a serious stance, and Auston nods.

“Glad you made it,” Auston tells me as we’re walking up the steps to his trailer. “Come in.”

I enter through the small door, surprised by the spacious area waiting beyond. There’s a two-seater leather sofa facing a large TV, a table with two chairs, a counter complete with snacks and a coffee maker, and a door leading to the rest of the trailer. On the walls, I spot several movie posters and magazine covers, including a few naming Auston “Sexiest Man Alive.”

“So, you’re here,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I nod. “Yep, I am. Let’s get to work.” What is he doing? I’m not here to chit-chat.

“Have a seat.” He motions to the couch. “I’m curious, though. What changed your mind?”

I roll my eyes. “In a nutshell, my friends are stupid, and I hate them. Plus, they know I despise bad movie adaptations more than anyone. They also said you’d introduce me to the author. Is that correct?”

He frowns slightly. “Sure. That’s no trouble.”

“Great. Then let’s get started.”

He glances at the counter. “Do you want something to drink first? Coffee?”

“Yes!” I exclaim shamelessly.

He studies me for a second, then lets out a light chuckle. “Of course.”

He brings out two cups of black coffee and sits down next to me. Suddenly, this space doesn’t feel so big anymore. Why can’t there be another sofa across the table?

“I see you brough t the script. Have you started reading it?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Started? I’m done.”

His chocolate eyes widen. “You read it in one night?”

I shrug. “I’m a bookish girl. It’s what I do.”

He scratches his head and mumbles, “Right. Can I see? Did you take any notes?”

“A couple,” I say, handing the script to him.

His jaw drops when he opens it. “A couple? You mean a couple hundred.” He starts flipping through the pages. “Or thousand.”

I drill him with a deadpan stare. “You wanted my opinion. You got it.”

His lips twitch into a smile. “Right. Let’s have a look.”

Auston

Emma sitting next to me, sipping her coffee while giving me notes for improvement. It’s like no time has passed at all. Except she’s no longer the colorful, sassy girl I used to know. These days, she’s more fifty shades of black. Not just her outfit, but also the melancholy I see in her eyes.

“Are you sure this change is necessary?” I ask for the third time. Even if I’m all for tweaking the script, I know Clarence will have my neck for reque sting this many revisions.

“It is.” She tilts her head to the side. “Fans will notice these things. But it’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to take it.”

“Okay. This is actually from the scene we’re shooting today. Should we try the new dialogue?”

She crosses her long legs and leans back in the recliner. “Go ahead.”

As I stand up, I realize I’ve never in my entire life felt this anxious about performing. I don’t even think I was this nervous during my first audition.

I clear my throat. “This is not going to work out, Sarah,” I rasp, trying to get into character, but Emma’s already shaking her head.

My eyebrows furrow. “What’s wrong?”

She fixes me in a glare. “What’s right? Diego has a very distinctive way of speaking. If you’d actually read the book, or my notes for that matter, you’d know that,” she says, tapping the script. “Plus, you don’t have the right posture. Diego should be more confident, aloof even. He’s kind of a villain at the beginning of the story.”

“Uh.” Two seconds rehearsing with her, and I’m already hit with impostor syndrome. What is going on? “Okay. Let’s try again.”

Thirty minutes later, I’m droop ing with exhaustion. Emma Sterling doesn’t pull any punches. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever received this much criticism on my acting skills. Just when I was getting tired of everyone telling me how amazing I am. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. Well, at least she didn’t sigh or roll her eyes on that last try.

Before I can recite the line again, someone knocks at my trailer, and I’m relieved to take a break. When I swing the door open, a frown etches onto my face.

“Hey, you,” Madison says, batting her eyelashes.

“Madison, what’s up?” I ask, drumming my fingers on the trailer door. “Are we being called out?”

“No, not yet. I just wanted to see you. Didn’t sleep much last night. You know how I hate sleeping alone.”

“Right. Um, I’m busy rehearsing right now, so I’ll see you on set, okay?”

Her smile falls. “But, Au—”

I close the door before she can finish. “Sorry about that,” I say, turning back to Emma. “Where were we? Ah, yes. I was finally getting your stamp of approval on my deep Diego Loma voice.”

She rolls her eyes, her lips twitching at the corners. I wish it would turn into a full-blown smile. I have yet to see her beautiful smile since meeting her again. “You’re getting ahead of yourself, Auston.”

I raise an eyebrow, trying to hid e the fact that Emma saying my name just sent my heart on a bungee jump. “Auston?”

A slight flush touches her cheeks. “That is your name, right? Or is it a stage name?”

And with that, my heart crashes to the floor. Just when I think she might remember me, all my hope shatters. “It’s my real name,” I mutter, looking down at the script.

“Okay. What’s the problem, then? Do you want me to call you Mr. Buckley or something? I’ve never been a very formal person.” She draws the edge of her bottom lip between her teeth, and just like when we were in high school, I yearn to close the space between us and kiss her.

“Auston’s fine.” I nod, daring to meet her mesmerizing eyes. For a second, I feel like they’re trying to tell me something, but then I clear my head. There’s nothing there. It’s all in my mind.

“Okay. Well, let’s get cracking.” She claps her hands. “We don’t have all day.”

That draws a chuckle out of me. It’s been a while since anyone has spoken to me that way. “Got somewhere to be? I thought your store was closed.”

“It is. And I don’t. But you have a lot of work to do, and the call sheet behind you says you’re shooting the first scene of the day in half an hour. Al so, I need coffee—real coffee. This stuff is disgusting.”

“So bossy, just like—” In high school . That’s what I was going to say, but I catch myself just in time.

Her head flinches back slightly. “Like what?”

“My mom,” I blurt out. “She’s bossy too. Though she is my manager, so it kind of makes sense.”

“I hold a similar position, if you think about it,” she says, leaning back again. “Also, working with your mom? How’s that going?”

“Challenging sometimes,” I say with a smile, glad to shift the topic away from my work with Emma. Although family was the last thing on my mind. “But she’s my mom, and I love her. I owe a lot of my career to her guidance.”

She swallows, peering into her coffee mug. “That’s great. So, you know as well as anyone that the bossy thing works,” she adds, glancing at me with a side smirk. “It’s a very efficient management style.”

I choke out a laugh. “I guess you’re right. So, should I go again?”

“Yes, and this time, like you mean it.”

At that, I can’t help but smile. This girl is going to put me through hell. And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.