30. Desperate

30

Desperate

Auston

I’ve never seen so many smiles from Emma—maybe back in high school, but definitely not since we reconnected—and I love being at least partially responsible for that joy. It won’t make up for the pain I inflicted in the past, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.

Speaking of, where did she disappear to? I’m not seeing her in the party area, so I take a walk around the store, scanning the aisles.

Finally, I see her . She’s sitting down against a shelf in the Children’s section. Slowly, I saunter toward her. “There you are.”

She jumps in surprise, glancing up at me. Her eyes are red and glassy, and the melancholy I always see in them has increased threefold. Just when I thought she was happy.

“Emma, what’s wrong?” I fall to my knees next to her.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. Just nostalgia.” Sheepishly, she turns her phone up and shows me the screen. At first, I think it’s a blurry picture. But she moves her finger on the screen, and I notice it’s a Google Street View image. I recognize this place. It’s her childhood home, and her parents are frozen in front of it. My heart shatters into pieces at the sight.

“Oh, Emma.”

She chokes out a soft laugh. “It’s silly. It’s not even a good picture. But it’s so random, you know? Normal. As if it could be real and happening right now. I miss them so much it hurts. All of this,” she says, looking around. “This birthday celebration, it makes me think of them. The last party I had was the one they threw for my sweet sixteen.”

I take her into my arms. “I know. I’m so sorry, Emma.”

I don’t know how long I stay there, holding her, but I’m glad I can comfort her. Be there for her, finally. Just like I should have been from the beginning. She’s still in so much pain over her loss, and I wi sh I could make it all go away.

“I think about them every day,” she murmurs into my shoulder. “It’s so unfair.”

I brush my fingers through her hair. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” I didn’t know her parents very well, but I met them a few times when we studied at their house. They always welcomed me with open arms. “I shouldn’t have just abandoned you the way I did. You needed me. I should have come back for you.”

Frowning, she glances up at me. “You’re here now. That's all that matters. And you’re making me happy.”

Her words go straight to my heart, but the guilt remains. Because even if I’m the one making her happy now, I know I’m responsible for some of the pain she endured in the past.

“I hate myself for leaving that day,” I breathe out. “I always have. I even fought my mom on it, but—”

She caresses my cheek, and I close my eyes, savoring the touch of her delicate fingers over the stubble coating my jaw. “You shouldn’t. I don’t. It was your career. You did what you had to do.”

I open my eyes. “No. I should have stayed for you. If my career was meant to take off, it would have still happened later on. We could have built this together.” I lean forward, cupping her chin in my hand. “Leav ing that day was the biggest mistake of my life. Please, Emma, forgive me.”

She’s so close, I can feel her breath on my lips. “I already have.”

And with that, my heart bursts. How could this woman be so perfect? She has every right to hate me, yet she’s letting me in again. Letting me see past her walls, and just like I imagined, it’s even more beautiful here. I lean forward, pulling her nearer and—

“Emma, where are you?” Hayley calls from a few rows away. “A horde of hungry hockey players are demanding cake.”

Emma bubbles out a laugh, and even if I’m frustrated by the interruption, I can’t help but laugh along. I’ll get Emma to myself again. I’ve waited ten years. I think I can wait a bit longer.

We both stand up and walk back to the party area.

“I think you’re going to love this cake,” I tell Emma as we’re gathering around a table.

“Oh my,” she chirps, all giddy. “Now I’m even more excited. You went all in, didn’t you?”

I smile. All in . I think it’s the only mode I know when it comes to Emma. Now that we’ve reconnected, I’m never going to let go.

The caterers bring out the cake, and a general gasp rises from the small crowd. I saw it earlier today, but my jaw still drops.

It’s a three-layer hazelnut chocolate cake. The icing is white chocolate, with hand-drawn book spines standing upright and stacked to give the illusion of three bookshelves. Alice and Hayley helped me pick out the book titles, and of course, Velvet Kisses is one of them. On top of the cake, an edible book lies open with the words “Happy Birthday, Emma” written next to a single candle.

“Wow. This is amazing,” she says, stepping around the table to look at the cake from every angle. The way her eyes glimmer with surprise and awe makes my heart beat just a little faster.

Everyone sings “Happy Birthday,” and she blows out her candle amidst a round of applause.

I grab the microphone from the DJ and clear my throat. “I just wanted to say a few quick words before we slice up this fabulous cake. Please, bear with me for just a second.”

A wave of chuckles ripples around the room.

“I’ve known Emma for a long time. And even when we were teenagers, I always knew she’d grow into an extraordinary human being. She’s clever, strong, passionate, opinionated, forgiving, and she cares deeply about the people she loves.”

Emma’s face is now red, and she ’s swaying on her feet.

“Oh, and she doesn’t like when I give her compliments.” I wink, and everyone laughs. She breaks into a smile, her shoulders relaxing.

“But how can I not? In just over a month, she’s given my life meaning again. She made me realize it’s never too late to make amends or to go after what we want. After our dreams.”

Her gaze is now locked on me, and her beautiful blue eyes intensify, just like they did earlier before we were interrupted. Only this time, I know she was truly about to let me kiss her.

“To Emma,” I say, raising my drink, and everyone does the same

“Emma,” they all repeat.

“Happy birthday.” I wink at her before taking a sip of my Velvet Kisses cocktail—yes, the drinks are all named after her favorite books.

The corner of her lips tilt into a smile, and she leans into Alice, who’s drawing her in for a side hug.

“Now, for the presents!” I announce, and everyone claps.

“What?” Emma blurts, a hint of horror creeping onto her face.

“Don’t worry.” I chuckle. “I know how you feel about presents. ‘Opinionated,’ remember?”

At that, everyone laughs.

“So, I told your guests to only bring you fun and silly presents that cost under fifteen dollars.”

She relaxes, a smile spreading on her lips again.

“Who wants to go first?” I ask.

One by one, the guests present their gifts, and I’m impressed at how everyone went along with the idea. Emma unwraps bookish socks, a sleeping mask, a tote bag, a coffee mug, a coffee-scented candle, an old-book scented candle, and more items related to books and coffee.

“Here’s mine,” I say, sauntering up to her.

Her eyes are glittering with anticipation as she tears the wrapping paper.

“Oh my gosh.” She laughs. “I love it.”

It’s a Stardust Sensation stationary set, complete with a pencil, eraser, sharpener, and notepad. All bearing the band members’ faces.

“I tried to find one only with Bobby, but there weren’t any,” I joke.

She gives me a playful pinch.

“Oh, and there’s this,” I add, giving her a second gift.

“Auston!” she exclaims when she opens it. “Is this real?”

I nod, grinning as she studies th e signed Stardust Sensation CD.

“You’re insane,” she giggles, drawing me in for a hug. “Thank you.”

“I knew you were still a huge fan.” I wink.

She rolls her eyes. “Says the guy who knows all their lyrics by heart.”

“Oh, but I never said I wasn’t a fan.”

Stifling her laughter, she takes a step back as everyone gathers around to see the CD.

As if on cue, the DJ cranks up the music again, and everyone grabs a piece of cake. It’s as delicious as it looks, quickly becoming the food highlight of the night.

Soon enough, a small dance floor naturally forms, and everyone steps in to showcase their best moves. Maxime clearly has the most extravagant ones and doesn’t mind working the crowd. Emma is jumping and dancing with Beth and Alice when “You” by Stardust Sensation starts playing. As the first notes hit, she freezes, then looks around until her eyes fall on me. A bright smile lights up her face, and I can only return it.

“That’s not a coincidence,” she says, ambling toward me.

“Mmm. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, tapping my fingers.

With a laugh, she grabs my hand, and we start dancing—and singing. Just like we did in our hotel room in Porthaven.

“I wanted to invite the band for a private concert,” I say, making her twirl. “But they couldn’t make it on such short notice. They were already booked up.”

She rolls her eyes, slapping a hand on my torso. “Stop it.”

I laugh, but I’m dead serious. I totally asked them, and they sent the signed CD instead. I’m keeping that to myself, though. If everything goes my way, I’ll have plenty more birthday celebrations to plan for Emma, and I’m big on surprises.

Emma

It’s late. Everyone is gone by now, and I’m gathering the remaining KitKat bars into a bag.

“Of course you’d go for the KitKat first,” Auston teases, arching an eyebrow. “I love your sense of priorities.”

I wheel around, a smile tugging at my lips. “We have to make sure they’re safe and sound. I haven't tried them all yet.”

He laughs, his chest shaking. “ Same. The food tonight was amazing. The caterers did a great job.”

“So did you.” I smile, wetting my lips. “You made all of this possible. Just for me. Honestly, ‘thank you’ doesn’t feel like enough.”

“It’s more than enough. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” His eyes stretch wide. “Oh, I haven’t given you your present yet.”

I take a step back. “What? Of course you did. The stationary set and the autographed CD! Oh, and by the way,” I add, a hand on my hip, “there’s no way all of that was under fifteen dollars. You broke your own rule.”

He places a hand on his heart. “I did no such thing. The CD was free. I just asked them, and they sent it over.”

I shake my head. “No way.”

“Yes way. You want to see the email I sent to their agent?”

“Auston.” I stare at him, trying to figure out if he’s joking, but his expression is serious. My shoulders fall, and I blow out a chuckle. “I guess I forgot who I was talking to.”

“Okay,” he says, reaching into his blazer pocket. “Now, for this one, I totally broke the rules. Happy birthday, Emma.”

I gasp as he places a small velvet box in my hands. It has a soft and luxurious feel, and I don’t know if I’m ready for what’s inside. Because I’m p retty sure fake boyfriends don’t buy their fake girlfriends expensive jewelry. At least, not when they’re truly in the fake zone. Swallowing hard, I open the box with a small pop, and all my breath drains from my lungs. It’s a white gold necklace with a book pendant on which a diamond heart is encrusted. “You shouldn’t have. It’s too much.”

“Not at all. It’s perfect. As soon as I saw it in the shop window, I knew it belonged around your neck.”

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper.

“Here,” he says, gesturing for me to let him put it on me. I turn around, lifting my hair, and millions of tiny goosebumps sweep across my neck as he places the necklace around it.

Once the chain clasps, I turn back to face him, my fingers grazing the pendant. “I don’t know what to say. This, the party, all those things you said to me . . .”

He takes my hand and runs his fingers over my knuckles, sending shivers down my spine. “I meant every word. I’m so lucky to have you back in my life, Emma.” My pulse hammers as he draws me to his chest. “I never want to leave your side.”

His brown eyes darken as I caress his cheek with the back of my hand. “I don’t want you to leave.” Being here with him is like finally being back where I belong. After all these years, I broke free of the armor that was weighing me down, preventing me from moving forward, and it’s so much better this way.

And just like something out of a movie, time seems to slow, the air around us snapping with tension. With one look, Auston sets fire to every inch of my skin, and I’m suddenly desperate for his touch. Finally, our mouths connect, his lips moving softly, savoring me. The musky scent of his cologne envelops my senses as I sink my hands into his hair to deepen the kiss. He hauls me into his arms, clearing the buffet table before sitting me down.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he says against my lips, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

“Me too.”

His large fingers squeeze the dip in my waist, bringing me closer, and we’re reunited again. Like two magnets. He plants a sweet kiss on my forehead, then on my cheek, my jawline, my chin. I close my eyes, reveling in his touch as the butterflies in my stomach soar to new heights.

Finally, his lips are back on mine, and this time, the kiss is deeper. More passionate. Desperate, almost. And in his kiss, I feel the words he just said. How long he’s been waiting for this. How long I have. And as much as it was worth the wait, I know that now, I’m never going to let him go.