30. Keke

Chapter 30

Keke

A s the ride-share car navigates through the busy streets, I stare out the window, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of colors that reflect the chaos swirling inside me. I can hardly process what just happened.

Luke proposed.

My mind keeps replaying the moment, the shock in my chest transforming into a heavy weight that threatens to suffocate me. How could he think that was going to make anything better?

I hate the way I’m feeling.

My thoughts race as I dial Whitney's number, my heart pounding against my ribs.

“Hey, Keke! How are you holding up?”

“I’m not,” I admit, my voice shaking as I press the phone to my ear. “I just… everything’s such a mess. I don’t even know how to begin to explain it.”

“Just come over,” she says gently. “We can talk.”

I’m grateful for the invitation. I need to talk to someone who understands, someone who won’t judge me for my mistakes.

When I arrive at Whitney’s apartment, she welcomes me with a warm smile. “Come in, come in,” she urges, ushering me through the door. “You look like you’ve been through the wringer.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, kicking off my shoes and sinking into the softness of her couch. Her place is gorgeous, all ivory and black. Classic, elegant. All except for the signed band posters framed on the walls. They look like they’re from another life.

“Want something to drink?” she asks, disappearing into the kitchen.

I wave her off, not in the mood for anything. “I just want to figure this out. I can’t believe he thought a proposal would fix everything.”

She peeks her head out of the kitchen. “Luke proposed?”

“Yeah.”

“Ugh, that boy…” She vanishes again, only to reappear with a steaming mug of herbal tea in hand, setting it down in front of me before plopping gracelessly onto a chair. “This might be eight percent my fault.”

“What? How?”

“When I was talking to him earlier, somehow, the idea of marriage got brought up?—”

“What?”

She nods shyly. “He got it into his head that proposing might fix things, and I couldn’t talk him out of it before he left. I did not think he’d be proposing so soon, though. Especially not after what happened at the arena with your brother?—”

“My brother?”

She smiles and sighs. “Michael apparently caught wind of everything, and he sort of tackled him in the hall outside my office door.”

“Luke looked fine, no scratches, no black eyes. Michael doesn’t leave people intact.”

Whitney laughs. “I don’t doubt that. Luke was able to turn the attack into a chance to bring Michael in on the proposal plan. That’s why he took you to your brother’s fancy restaurant—Michael got him the reservation. Didn’t you think it was weird you ended up there on such short notice?”

“Oh hell.” Michael knows . More than that, Luke persuaded him to help with proposing to me which ultimately blew up in his face.

That bag of dicks knew this was coming and he didn’t tell me?

She continues, “You’re right. It’s not going to fix anything. But maybe it was a start?”

I frown, my thoughts churning. “He’s not being realistic. This whole situation is so complicated, and I can’t just jump into something because he thinks it’s what’s best. I don’t even know what I need right now. How can he?”

“Fair enough. But would it be the worst thing in the world to have someone to hold onto right now?”

“How can I trust him? I know his history.”

“Trusting is difficult, especially when you’ve been hurt before. But you need to know that Luke is serious. I know he seems dim at times, but he’s all-in on this. He wants you, the baby, and everything that comes with it.”

“How do you know he’s serious?”

“Because he argued about it with me.”

“So?”

She huffs a laugh. “When was the last time someone dared to argue with me ?”

I consider the question. “Okay, maybe you’re right about that.”

“I’ve made players cry in the locker room before.”

“You’ve been in the locker room? When they were naked?”

“If I need to talk to them, yes. I’m not going to let a little thing like decorum stand in my way. The point is, they don’t argue with me, and Luke did. And quite well, I might add. He wants you, and everything that comes with being with you. That is a man in love if I’ve ever seen one.”

I feel my heart flutter at her words. A small flicker of hope ignites in the depths of my cynicism. “You didn’t see him tonight. So sincere. The proposal was like a romantic fairy tale. But this isn’t a fairy tale. This is my life, Whitney. I don’t get to have the fairytale. I’ve never had it.”

She leans forward, elbows on her knees. “Keke, listen to me. Luke isn’t like those other guys you’ve been with. He genuinely cares about you. He didn’t need to propose tonight, but he did it because he wants to be a part of your life. He’s not just a man who wants to be your boyfriend. He wants to be a husband and a father. The way he lit up when he talked about it, I’ve never seen that before.”

I want to trust her gut. It was legendary, impeccable. But too many shattered illusions cling to the back of my mind. “How can you be so sure he’s not like the other men I’ve been with? How can you trust him?”

Whitney shakes her head, her smile unwavering. “Not all men are trash, Keke. I get it that a lot of them are, but there are good ones out there, and you have to consider that maybe Luke is one of them. You deserve to try for something good.”

“Easier said than done,” I scoff, crossing my arms.

“Okay, fine,” she says, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “You’re right. It is a lot easier said than done. But either you’re going to be alone forever, or you’re going to give something a shot, and Luke Smith is a man in love. So, I guess the question is, are you a woman in love?”

I let out a small laugh. “You can’t just ask someone something like that.”

“I just did.”

I huff. “You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do, and I hope you know what I mean. Keke, if you break his heart, you’ll regret it. You have to figure out what you want at the end of the day.”

Passion, respect, happiness… love?

I swallow hard. “I don’t know…”

“As far as your career is concerned, you need to learn from this.”

“For my next job, right?” I mumble, my voice shaky.

“What next job? What are you talking about? I knew I wouldn’t be able to hang onto you for long, but damn.”

“What are you talking about? No! I mean, after you officially fire me.”

“I’m not firing you.”

“Why the hell not?” Why am I arguing this?

“You do great work, that’s why. A little more thorough than I had in mind, but you’ve been a huge asset, Keke. I’m not firing you over this.”

I stammer, “But I fucked everything up.”

“Not everything, but I’m certain you’ll never do this again. You’re a smart girl, one who learns from her mistakes. And falling in love is rarely a mistake. I’m not firing you. If you want out of here, you’ll have to quit, and you better not quit on me. I’m starting to like you.”

I laugh, unsure what to say. “Um, thanks.”

“Back to your love life… if you constantly assume everyone will hurt you, you’ll never find happiness. So tell me, what are you going to do about Luke?”

I take a deep breath, weighing her words. “I–I don’t know. I’m terrified of being a mother, of bringing a child into this mess. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but the right way, you know? With a husband and a house and all the things that give a kid a stable home life. What if he walks away once things get hard?”

Whitney leans in, her tone softening. “You’re not alone in this, Keke. You have me, and you have Luke—whether you believe it or not. You can make this work if you’re willing to open up. I know trust doesn’t come easy, but maybe you should give it a chance.”

“But what if I get hurt again?” I whisper, the fear bubbling to the surface.

“Then you’ll learn from it. It’s part of life, Keke. You can’t protect yourself by shutting everyone out. Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith. You just might be surprised by what you find.”

Can I do that? Really let someone in? I think about Luke, about his goofy smile and the way he looks at me with such sincerity. Those damn eyes. Maybe I have been too harsh, too quick to dismiss him. “What if I end up trusting him and he breaks my heart?”

Whitney shakes her head. “That’s the risk we all take. But you won’t know what he’s capable of if you don’t give him a chance. Trust is built, Keke. It doesn’t happen overnight.”

My head tips back against the cushions. “Why is it so damn hard for me to believe that? I should be able to trust my instincts but all I feel is doubt.”

“Doubt is normal,” she reassures me. “Everyone has doubts. You’ve been through so much and it’s okay to be cautious. But don’t let that caution blind you to the good things in life. You’re going to be a mother soon, and you need to decide what kind of life you want for yourself and your child.”

“Whitney, I’m so scared.”

“Of?”

“Everything. I’m scared I’ll screw it all up.”

She reaches across the table, squeezing my hand. “You’ve got this. You know you do.”

I swallow hard. “What if he walks away once the baby isn’t a baby anymore?”

“Again, you deal with it if it happens. But right now, he’s here. He’s trying to be a part of your life. Let him.”

Just as I’m about to respond, my phone buzzes on the table. I glance at the screen and my heart drops. It’s a text from Luke.

I’m sorry for the way things went down tonight. Can we talk?

“What should I say?” I ask, after reading it out loud to Whitney, anxiety coursing through me.

“Be honest. Tell him how you feel,” she responds firmly. “It’s the only way to move forward.”

Taking a deep breath, I begin typing.

I don’t know if I can do this. Everything feels too complicated. I’m scared, Luke.

As soon as I hit send, my hands begin to tremble. I just bared a piece of my soul, and now I have to wait for his response. Whitney watches me, her eyes filled with encouragement.

“Just be open to what he has to say. You might be surprised by his answer.”

My phone buzzes again, and I quickly glance at the screen.

I get it. But I want to try, Keke. I’m here for you. I love you.

Could it really be that simple?

“See?” Whitney says, leaning back in her chair, satisfaction evident in her expression. “He’s serious about this.”

Maybe there really are good people in the world, and maybe, just maybe, Luke is one of them. Whitney definitely is.

Love couldn’t be on the table, though. Not for me. I had sworn I’d never go through that again, and I meant it. Maybe I could share a life with Luke, but he had to know what that looked like for me.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him.”

Whitney beams. “That’s the spirit! Just remember, you’re not in this alone. We’ll figure it out together.”

First, Luke said that, and now Whitney. Weird day.

I have people in my corner, willing to stand by me as I navigate this new reality. It’s a strange yet wonderful feeling, and terrifying to feel anything vaguely resembling hope. The world had beaten that out of me long ago. But what I’d gone through wasn’t Luke’s fault, and I don’t want to take it out on him. That isn’t fair.

I’m pregnant, and if I’m going to be a mother in this crazy world, I have to be ruthless to protect my child. Kids deserve protection and stability, and I will give this child everything I never had as a kid.

I’m not sure how exactly, but I have to try. And if that means letting people in, trusting again, then I’m willing to do it.