Chapter 17

Evie

"So, where are we off to?" I ask, buckling up in Fraser"s car.

He"s been mysterious since he showed up on my doorstep this morning with the biggest bouquet of yellow roses yet—Hannah must be loving this, he"s setting her future kids up for a great college education—and a mission to take me out for pancakes.

How could I say no?

We"d just finished breakfast at Bear"s diner, and as Fraser was settling the bill, he mentioned something about going for a drive.

"Up the mountain," he answers, pulling out onto the street, a determined look settling over his features. "We"re going to visit my sister."

"Okay." I didn"t have that on my bingo card of people I"d be seeing today, but I"m excited to see her. "I haven"t seen Dawn in years."

"I know." He drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "Just hold tight, okay? I know I"m acting a little…funny. I"ll explain everything once we get there."

"Cool. I like a bit of mystery."

He glances over and smiles, and for the first time this morning, it"s a proper smile, one that makes the skin around his eyes crinkle a little.

He focuses his attention back on the road, and I use the quiet time to reflect.

It"s been a rough few days for both of us.

Margo called me into her office as soon as I got back from filming the LA story. It was another scheduled, closed-door meeting, making me totally regret having ever spoken badly about the "walk and talks"—oh, how I long for those days.

She basically prepared me to brace for the worst. The network will be making their first round of layoffs shortly, and to no one"s surprise, I"m on the list. I appreciated the heads-up and have amped up my efforts to do whatever I can to save my career in the short amount of time I have left before I"m forced to resort to Plan Washington.

And Fraser has been through the ringer lately, too.

Despite the Swifts getting off to a great start this season, their form has slipped. Badly. They"ve racked up a series of losses that have put a question mark over their shot at the Stanley Cup. At the rate they"re going, they"ll be lucky to scrape into the divisional playoffs.

But if I didn"t know Fraser as well as I did, I"d barely know anything was wrong with him. All throughout breakfast, he kept the conversation focused on me, on how I"m doing. Anytime I"d throw it back to him, he"d somehow manage to deflect and steer the conversation back around to what"s going on in my life.

Part of that is Fraser"s natural reluctance to open up. But I feel like there"s more to this.

He"s acting strange, and it obviously has something to do with him taking me to see Dawn. We"ve talked a lot these past few months, but we still haven"t broached the biggest mystery of all.

Over the years, I"ve quizzed Levi about it a million times, probing my brother for more information about what happened that made the Rademachers cancel filming their TV show midseason and Fraser disappear the very next day.

Rumors swirled immediately. With a scandal that big in a town as small as Comfort Bay, they were bound to.

I did my best to avoid them, and I certainly never believed any of them. Especially some of the nastier ones.

Like Fraser"s dad having an affair.

Or that Fraser"s mom went into rehab for some sort of addiction, sometimes it was alcohol, other times it was abusing prescription meds.

Or that Fraser"s older brothers had done something illegal and the Rademacher clan were all in on it and covering it up.

Somethingobviously happened, but all those rumors were too far-fetched to be anything other than the product of people"s imaginations.

But just because I didn"t listen to the rumors doesn"t mean I wasn"t curious, so I went to the most likely source of information to try and get some information. Despite repeated attempts, I was never successful in my mission.

My conversations with Levi about it would usually start with me saying something like, "You don"t have to tell me any of the specifics, but has Fraser ever told you what happened?"

He"d shake his head annoyingly. "Nope."

Then I"d say, "But you"re best friends."

He"d nod his head annoyingly. "We are."

"So why hasn"t he shared it with you?"

He"d shrug annoyingly. "It never comes up, I guess."

The Rademachers unexpectedly halting the filming of their show is one of the biggest mysteries in Comfort Bay history, and it"s never come up? Male friendships truly baffle me. What do guys talk about, then?

On second thought, I don"t want to know.

Fraser pulls up beside a small park in the picturesque town of Cedar Crest Hollow.

"I haven"t been here in years," I say, taking in the pretty surroundings.

He cuts the engine. "It"s a great place."

"Says the guy who"s allergic to small towns."

"Not allergic." His rebuttal comes out a little quicker and more forcefully than I expected it would.

Our eyes connect.

"In fact," he continues, "I"m possibly reconsidering my stance on small towns."

His deep, low voice rumbles throughout the car—and through me.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." He turns away and smiles.

I follow his gaze to a pretty auburn-haired woman at the swing set and the small boy she"s with.

For the briefest moment, a streak of jealousy tears through my chest as my imagination concocts a wild scenario where Fraser has a secret family that he"s kept hidden from the world all these years because he"s not really a pro hockey player but a mafia drug lord working for the government.

Then I rein in my overactive and totally illogical imagination—why would a mafia drug lord be working for the government, and if Fraser was needing to keep a low profile, how does being one of the biggest hockey stars in the country fit into that?—and remember why we"re here.

"Is that…Dawn?"

"Yeah. It is. She"s no longer an emo teenager."

"She certainly isn"t. She looks so…"

"Normal?"

I swat his chest. "I was going to say pretty. Who"s the little boy with her?"

"That"s her son. Oakey."

When I don"t say anything, Fraser turns to look at me. He lowers his head, his blue eyes drilling into me, searching for a reaction, I guess, since I"m not usually without words for this long.

"I…I had no idea."

"No one does." He unbuckles his seat belt. "Come on. Let"s go meet them."

We get out and walk over to the playground. It"s spring, but there"s still a distinct crisp chill in the air. I forget it"s always a few degrees cooler up here.

The second Oakey spots Fraser, he practically leaps off the swing and races over. Fraser crouches down as Oakey crashes into him, wrapping his arms around his nephew. "How are you doing, buddy?"

"I"m good. Wanna push me?"

Fraser gets up, grinning. "In a minute. There"s someone I"d like you to meet. This is Evie."

Oakey waves at me with a smile. "Hi. Do you wanna push me?"

"Maybe after I give her a big hug," Dawn interjects, joining us.

We hug, and it"s one of those long, warm hugs that you could just melt into and stay in forever. Despite not being as close as I wish we could have been, I"ve always had a soft spot for her. I never understood what she was going through, but I felt this weird sort of connection to her anyway. Maybe because she reminds me so much of Fraser. Personality-wise, the two of them are practically identical.

"Oh, my gosh, Evie. You look wonderful."

"So do you. Your hair!"

"I know, right? Back to my natural color. Well, natural-adjacent."

I laugh.

"Can someone push me?" Oakey taps his uncle on the leg. "Pleeease?"

"All right. Let"s do it, little man."

"Yayyy."

We walk over to the swing set, Oakey running out ahead of us. Fraser makes sure he"s secured in the seat before giving him a measured swing. "We have a lot to catch you up on, Evie," he says as Dawn and I stand beside him.

"Before we get into it," Dawn says, grabbing my arm. "I just want to thank you so much for your segment last week. I was in tears watching it."

"So was I," Fraser mutters. "But probably for different reasons."

"Thanks, Dawn."

"It"s so good seeing positive, aspirational representation."

She only stops talking because Oakey lets out an excited, "Wheeee!"

"Having a child with additional needs is tough. So much of the focus is on doctor"s appointments and tests and worrying about them and how they"re developing. I needed to see people like Gemma and the others living quality lives. I needed to be reminded that Oakey can have that kind of life, too."

"Of course he can," Fraser says with a definitive nod. "And he will. He"s a Rademacher."

"Technically, he"s a Graham," Dawn corrects.

"You"re married?" I squeal excitedly.

"I am. Very happily." She lifts her hand, smiling proudly as she shows me her sparkling diamond.

"That"s amazing. Congratulations. Okay. You guys need to start catching me up. I feel like I"m years behind."

"Go ahead, big brother." Dawn takes over swing duty.

Fraser rubs his temple. "I don"t even know where to begin."

"How about one hot spring night seven years ago?"

"Right. Okay." He glances over at Dawn. "Would you mind if Evie and I sat down on the bench over there?"

Dawn"s blue eyes flicker back and forth between Fraser and me, a knowing smile rising on her lips. "Sure."

We make our way over to the bench, far enough away to give us the privacy I suspect Fraser is wanting for the conversation we"re about to have.

"So…" He rests his hands on his knees once we"re seated. "Truth time."

"My second favorite type of time, narrowly beaten to the top spot by half-priceice cream time."

He smiles, draws in a breath, and begins talking. "That night I left your room, the last night I left your room, when I got home it was…full on. Dad had canceled our involvement in the show while I was with you, and the family was gathered in the living room."

"Did you get into trouble for sneaking out?"

"I managed to dodge that bullet because there was much bigger news. Dawn was pregnant."

"Ohhhh."

Years of wondering, of coming up with my own theories about what happened, bubble to life in my mind, but I cut all that noise out to focus on what he"s telling me.

"So that"s why your parents canceled filming?"

"It is." Fraser nods, glancing over at Dawn and Oakey. "One of the reasons they did the show was to raise the profile of Dad"s yacht-building business. His clientele are…odd."

"The mega, mega, mega-rich usually are."

"Tell me about it. They"re either super progressive, micro-dosing, self-made entrepreneurs where anything goes, or they"re ultra-conservative people where nothing goes. I"m generalizing and oversimplifying of course, but it"s true for the main part. Dad and Mom were worried how an unwed pregnant teenage daughter would look."

"I get that."

"More than anything, though, they wanted to protect her. Business reputational damage aside, they love Dawn and didn"t want her situation to be subjected to the usual nonsense that takes place on social media and late-night TV shows. So, we agreed, as a family, to do everything we could to keep her from experiencing any of that."

"In my head, my memories are stuck on you leaving without saying goodbye. I forgot that Dawn left, too. I thought she got shipped off to boarding school in the UK."

"That was the official story."

"What"s the real story?"

"Dawn and Tim got married quietly, and with her trust, they bought a place up here."

"Right."

I"d also forgotten that the Rademacher kids have a living inheritance. Levi told me about it once. I don"t know the reasons behind it, but Fraser"s dad wants his children to have access to a portion of the family money while he"s still alive.

"The original plan was to pull back from all press, all publicity for a year or two. Once interest in us died down, if the story somehow made it into the media, it wouldn"t be that much of a big deal. We"d be has-beens by then, and only diehard fans would really care." His eyes travel back to his nephew. "But once we learned that Oakey would have additional needs, as a family, we doubled-down."

"Meaning?"

"We had to ensure Dawn and Oakey had privacy and absolutely zero media intrusion in their lives. Ever."

"Which explains why you avoid the spotlight as much as you do."

"It"s a very big part of it. Another part of it is something that happened two years ago…"

Fraser recounts what starts off as a great story about the LA Swifts visiting a children"s hospital and ends with him reading through a bunch of vile, disgusting online comments.

"That was a horrible thing to go through with people who weren"t my family. Imagine if that was Oakey. Imagine if those comments were directed at him. I don"t know what I"d do, Evie. I"d…I"d lose my damn mind."

Right on cue, the little guy lets out another happy "Wheee!" as Dawn swings him higher.

"I love him so much. We all do. Our family and Tim"s." Fraser drops his head and lets out a heavy breath. "I"m not proud to admit this, but when I first heard about his condition, a part of me worried that it would change things."

"What do you mean?"

"That it would somehow make it harder to connect or even love him. I"ve never been more wrong in my life." He looks over at Oakey, and I can see the love he has for his nephew. "Because that kid is the heart and soul of two families. I love him so much. We all do."

Fraser wipes away an errant tear, and I do the same.

Seeing his capacity to love, hearing him open up like this, being so vulnerable, admitting his most private thoughts, I"m totally blown away. He"s letting me inside to the truest, deepest parts of himself.

In fact, he"s been nothing but open and truthful with me the whole time we"ve been fake dating.

Guilt washes over me.

I wish I could say the same…but I can"t.

I haven"t told him I"m a virgin, and I haven"t shared the idea of running a story about him, either.

I only made the decision after my disastrous attempt, that saw me flinging myself off a building, failed to move the needle. I thought about the group chat I had with the girls, when they said to keep it as a backup option and use it when needed.

That time is now.

I"m putting together a package to show Fraser what a potential story could look like. I"m confident he"ll hate it, say no, and we can move on.

I"m hoping the v-issue will be just as easy for us to resolve.

I"d like to think it will be, but I"m anxious. Fraser has always been so respectful, allowing things to unfold between us slowly, naturally, always checking in with me to make sure I"m comfortable with everything we"re doing.

But maybe the reason he"s been going slow is because we"re in this strange, uncharted limbo land of fake dating sprinkled with a few real kisses. Will he still be interested in me when I tell him I want to wait until my wedding night, or will it be a deal-breaker for him?

We sit in silence for a while, the squawks of a few birds overhead and the occasional holler from Oakey the only sounds in the chilly air.

I rub my arms. Fraser notices and pulls off his hoodie, placing it over my shoulders.

"Thanks."

"No problem. So…what do you think? It"s a lot, right?"

"It is. I"m trying to put myself in your shoes. Or Dawn"s. And I can"t. I"ve got nothing to draw on that even comes close to what this must"ve been like for you and your family."

"It"s not exactly a situation you can google," he says with a slight smile.

"No. It isn"t. The closest family issues we have are the occasional chili-eating contests and Mom"s constant disapproval of all my life choices. That"s hardly in the same league as the bombshell you guys were dealing with."

"Don"t underestimate how full-on terrifying your Mom can be."

"Believe me. I don"t." I place my hand on his leg. "I have some questions."

"Thought you might. Go ahead."

Well actually, I have one main question. The others can wait. This question has been burning in my head since the very next day after that hot spring night.

I inhale and ask, "Why didn"t you come over to see me and say goodbye?"

Fraser grimaces, scrubbing his hand down the side of his face. "I wanted to, Evie. I did. I even came up with a cover story about how I wanted to go over and say goodbye to Levi so I would have a reason to be at your house, but the idea was nixed. I"m sorry."

He turns to face me and takes hold of my hands. Squeezing them firmly, he repeats, "I am so sorry. Sorry for not seeing you. For not saying goodbye. For not thanking you for the bracelet you made."

The bracelet? He remembers the bracelet?

"I thought you"d forgotten all about that."

His eyebrows knit together. "How could I forget about it? I still wear it."

My eyes fall to his wrists. "Has it…turned invisible?"

He grins. "I wear it when I play. It"s my lucky charm. I couldn"t imagine being on the rink without it."

"Are you for real right now?"

"A hundred percent. Ask Culver. Ask anyone on the team. I kiss it three times before and after each game. It"s a known thing."

"Wow."

"You say that a lot around me."

"That"s because you"re a wow kind of guy."

Fraser"s cheeks turn a shade of pink.

I can"t believe he"s kept the bracelet all these years. I for sure thought he"d discarded it and hadn"t given it so much as a second through.

But he wears it on the ice.

At every game.

Kisses it three times.

That"s…That"s…That"s very wow.

He lets go of my hands but keeps his eyes squarely aimed at me. "I"m genuinely sorry for leaving so abruptly. It wasn"t my choice, and if I could do it again, I"d defy my parents and sneak out anyway. But I was in a state of shock, and then Dawn…"

We turn our heads to her at the same time.

"I spent all night with her. I"d never seen her so scared. I felt like I"d let her down. I"m her big brother, and I didn"t protect her. Which, I know now—and because she"s hammered it into me a million times—is silly. There"s nothing I could have really done. But that night, as I watched her cry and worry and deal with an uncertain and daunting future, I needed to be with her."

"Of course. It makes total sense that you stayed with her." I split my focus between Fraser, Dawn, and Oakey, processing it all. "It also explains your aversion to the media or any type of press."

"But not everyone from the press," he points out with a cute grin.

"I"m glad you could make an exception. There is one thing that doesn"t fit the pieces of the puzzle I"m trying to put together in my mind."

"What"s that?"

"Clayton."

"Ah, my publicity-hungry, limelight-loving brother."

"That"s the one. If your family wanted privacy, how does that explain what he"s been doing all these years? The guy has been on practically every single reality TV show here and in the UK. He even did that one in Australia where he got deported, didn"t he?"

"Almost got deported. Dad pulled some strings." Fraser leans back onto the bench. "As you can imagine, Clay was devastated about the show ending. After the first season aired, he became a bit of a pinup boy. The ultimate teenage girl bad-boy crush. After that night, he went traveling for a few months. When he came back, he received an offer."

"What sort of offer?"

"Celebrity Dancing on Ice with Dogs."

A small giggle escapes me. "I still can"t believe that"s a real show."

"I know. It"s ridiculous. Initially, we were all dead-set against it. But the timing of it coincided with Dawn giving birth, so we thought it"d be a good distraction. Keep the media from snooping around us by offering Clay as very willing bait to soak up the limelight. And of course, Clayton being Clayton, he proved to be exceptional bait."

"So it worked?"

"It did. Dawn had Oakey in private, and Clayton lapped up the attention and used that one appearance as a launching pad to becoming America"s favorite reality TV villain."

"I see."

Clayton Rademacher has definitely got the bad boy image down pat. His shenanigans have been hard to miss, and I don"t even watch reality TV.

"Is he really that awful?" I ask.

"Honestly, no. It"s mainly for show, and again, it keeps all the publicity on him, which has allowed the rest of us, except for Mom, of course, to fade into the background."

"I"d hardly say you fade into the background, Fraser. You"re one of the biggest names in pro hockey."

"I try to maintain as low a profile as possible." He angles his head. "With one exception."

My heart flutters. "Oh yeah? And has it been worth it? Making an exception?"

"Like you wouldn"t believe."

Fraser slides closer to me, and I lean into his warm body. He wraps an arm around me, and I watch Dawn with Oakey, playing mental catch up with everything Fraser has revealed. All the pieces are finally falling into place.

Why his family canceled the show midseason.

Why he left so abruptly the following day.

Why he couldn"t say anything about what happened to anyone, for all these years.

Why he continues to be wary of the media.

It even explains why his brother is the way he is…

Everything makes sense.

But still, the reporter in me has questions.

Two, specifically. One silly one, one serious one.

I opt for the silly question first.

"Follow-up about Clayton."

"Go ahead."

"He"s the subject of a lot of rumors, most of which I assume are false."

"You assume correctly."

"But is it true he"s a ladies" man?"

Fraser"s body stiffens. "Before I answer that, why do you want to know?"

The possessive rasp in his voice is unmissable.

I laugh. "Not for me. For Harper."

He relaxes, letting out a chuckle. "Don"t tell me your sister has a crush on my brother?"

"Fine. I won"t say that, but what I will say is that it"s not a coincidence that she"s watched every single reality TV show he"s ever been on."

"Even the ice-skating dog one?"

"Even the ice-skating dog one. She claims it"s for research because she produces reality TV, which may be true, but I"m convinced it"s not the only reason."

A grin spreads across his face. "You"re just as meddlesome as your brother."

He"s possibly right.

I"m possibly in blissful denial.

"Stop deflecting and answer, please."

Rather than answering my question, Fraser makes the zippy-lip gesture, throwing away the key over his shoulder for good measure.

"You really shouldn"t have done that," I say, resting my hand on his knee.

"Why?" he mutters, through pursed lips.

"Because I really want to kiss you. But since your lips are sealed, I can"t."

"Spare key," he mumbles out the side of his mouth, producing it magically out of thin air and unzipping his lips. "My lips are all yours."

I laugh. "Are they, now?"

"If you want them."

I do. I lean forward and plant a long, closed-mouth kiss on his lips.

When I pull away, Dawn is looking at us.

She averts her gaze swiftly when I see her.

Fraser smiles. "Oh, boy. She"s going to have a field day with this."

"Do you mind?"

"Not in the slightest," he says with zero hesitation.

"One last question," I warn him.

With the silly question out of the way, it"s time for the serious one.

He grins. "I know you, Evie, and I don"t believe that for a second. But go on."

"Okay. Last question for now," I clarify, before coming right out with the question that"s been playing on my mind. "Why did you decide to tell me all of this now?"

He looks over at his sister and smiles before answering, "Dawn and I talked and it got me thinking about how closed-off I normally am."

"Okay."

He turns to face me again. "I know I"m not a naturally expressive guy. Talking doesn"t come easily to me. But I actually enjoy opening up to you. I like the feeling I get when I let you in and tell you things I haven"t told anyone else. For some reason, I"ve always been afraid to do that with anyone else."

"Why? What did you think would happen when you shared your feelings?"

"The universe would implode, reality would fold in on itself, and time would cease to exist."

"Makes sense." I smile at him, then find his hand and thread my fingers through his.

"You"re the only person I"ve ever opened up to like this, Evie."

My arms erupt in goosebumps. "Wow." I feel a little dizzy. "I may need a few moments to let this sink in."

He smiles warmly. "Take all the time you need. I"ve dumped a lot on you."

After a few minutes of silence, I break it with, "Thank you."

His eyebrow arches. "For what?"

"For opening up to me. For sharing everything. It"s not easy being vulnerable and honest."

"Tell me about it."

"You"re pretty incredible," I tell him.

He squeezes my fingers. "You"re pretty incredible, too."

He smiles at me, and I have officially fallen into a wow canyon.

Just when I think Fraser can"t do or say anything to make him more incredible, he opens up even more and takes his incredibleness to a whole new level.

We watch Dawn push Oakey on the swings in silence until the little guy runs over and excitedly tells us about a puzzle he"s working on. We spend the rest of the morning sprawled on the floor in Dawn"s living room, watching Oakey put his puzzle together, helping from time to time.

I don"t get to meet her husband, Tim, since he"s at work. She proudly tells me about his plumbing business and their hopes of expanding their family.

I catch her up on old school friends since she"s been missing in action and hasn"t kept in touch with anyone.

We even take a few selfies—some with me and Dawn, a few with me, Fraser, and Oakey.

As we"re leaving, Dawn says, "You"ll have to come up again."

I reply, "For sure, I"d love that," and I mean it.

Who knows? Maybe by then, Fraser and I will be officially together.

I lean down to say goodbye to Oakey, and he looks up at me with his adorable big blue eyes. "Can you swing me next time you visit, please?"

"I would love that."

He barrels into me with a hug so strong, I almost topple over.

When I stand back up, Fraser is looking at me with a soft, tender expression, his normally intense eyes glimmering with a quiet joy.

"I"m so happy Dawn is settled and in a really good place in her life," I say as we begin our drive back down the mountain to Comfort Bay.

"So am I."

"Is that why you"re reconsidering your aversion to small towns?"

"That"s part of the reason." His eyes dart over to me. "There may be another reason as well."

"Oh. Oh."

I don"t know what to say to that, so I stare out the window at the rolling hills, my mind swirling with all the revelations from the day.

"Where should we stop for burgers?" Fraser asks as we get closer to town.

"Bold of you to assume I"m hungry."

"Er, it would be bolder of me to assume you aren"t. And I love that about you," he says, snuffing out the last vestiges of self-consciousness I have about my appetite…and my food choices.

I don"t have to watch what I say, how I act, or what I eat around Fraser, and it"s so freeing. He accepts me for who I am.

I shoot him a smile right as my stomach grumbles. "I know a good place."