Chapter 12

Fraser

"And you didn"t believe her?" my sister asks, as I give Oakey a push on the swing set in the park.

"Not for a minute. I know Evie well enough to know when she"s pretending to be happy. And last night, she was not happy."

"Moooore!" Oakey cries gleefully.

I apply a bit more force to his swing. "Hang on, buddy!"

"Wheeeee!"

I smile through my exhaustion.

It was worth catching a cross-country flight to spend some precious time with my sister and my nephew. Even if this is a brief pit stop before my final destination.

Evie.

I give Oakey another push and take a proper look at my sister. Gone is the decked-out-in-all-black goth girl she used to be—including her jet-black hair; she"s back to her natural auburn color—and in her place is a beautiful, smiling, happy wife and proud mom-of-one.

"You"re looking well," I say, before returning my attention to Oakey.

"That"s because I am well."

"Mooore!" Oakey cries out again, so I make some grunting noises behind him to make him think I"m pushing him harder. I"m already swinging him pretty high.

I miss the little guy so much when I"m on the road. I love seeing how he"s growing and developing every time I come for a visit.

Being an uncle is awesome, but it"s got nothing on what I really would love someday—kids of my own with the woman I love.

I glance around the pretty park, nestled in the heart of the small town of Cedar Crest Hollow. The January air is crisp, carrying the fresh scent of pine from the nearby forest. Snow caps the distant mountain peaks. While a few locals are wandering about, we"re the only ones crazy enough to be using the playground equipment.

I never pictured Dawn settling down in a place like this. She and I spent so many nights dreaming about leaving Comfort Bay. I was sure she"d end up in a big city like LA or New York. Maybe even Chicago. Not a tranquil, picturesque small mountain town.

"Is this enough for you?" I ask.

It"s a blunt question, but the thing about Dawn and me is that even though we aren"t natural talkers, when we do talk, we get straight to the point. We say what we mean, and we never sugarcoat anything.

"Life is what you make it, Fraser," she says, taking over swing-pushing duties. "And if someone wants to make their life about chasing money or power or success or whatever, then that"s fine. More power to them. I"ve chosen to make my life about people. My husband. My son. My family. That"s more than enough for me."

Warmth fills my chest. "I"m so happy for you."

"Thanks." A smile spreads across her face as she looks my way. "What about you? Are you happy?"

"Yeah. I guess. The season"s going great."

"True."

"No issues with the family. Everyone is doing well."

"Also true. But what about love?" When I struggle to find an answer, she hedges, "You know that thing, when you"re in something and can"t make sense of it, but it"s actually pretty clear to someone else on the outside observing the situation?"

I kick the ground. "Yeah. Sort of."

"Would I be overstepping if I shared with you my observation about what might be going on with you?"

"It would be, but you were born in Comfort Bay, so it comes with the territory. Go ahead."

"I only say this because I recognize it as something I went through, the tension that comes from wanting to desperately protect your heart at all costs and yet, at the same time, longing for the type of connection that only comes from being truly vulnerable. Am I in the right ballpark?"

Nail, meet head.

"You got it in one."

"You and me, Fraser, we"re different from the rest of the family. We"re introverted, naturally reserved. We need time to establish trust and really get to know someone on a deeper level. And even with the people closest to us, the ones we love and trust the most, we still don"t always find it easy to open up. Right?"

"Right."

"But if Evie is your person, I really think you should?—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…Hang on a minute." Dawn is the only person I"ve told that Evie and I aren"t actually dating. But she still has no idea that I"ve been secretly in love with Evie for years. "This whole relationship thing is fake, remember?"

"Is it, though?" Her blue eyes meet mine. "Because if I"m being honest, it"s kind of obvious you have a thing for her."

I sag against the swing set. "Not you, too."

She smirks. "Who else picked up on it? Levi?"

"No. Of course not. Levi"s clueless. I don"t think I"d be standing here with both legs intact if he knew I was in love with his sister. It"s one of my teammates. Culver."

The smirk on her face expands. "I see. Well, at least you"re not denying it."

"No one else knows, right? Mom, Dad? Trace? Clayton?"

"They"re all as clueless as Levi," she assures me. "Come on, munchkin, time to go home."

"But I don"t wanna go."

"You can jump on my shoulders," I offer.

"Yaaaay."

Dawn helps Oakey off the swing, and I crouch down as low as I can. He swings one leg over each shoulder.

"Hang on to my beanie," I say, and he does, latching onto it with his small hands.

I hoist myself up, make sure Oakey"s gripping me tightly, and we begin walking through the snow-covered streets back to Dawn"s place two blocks away.

"So what"s the occasion for surprising Evie with a visit?"

"She sounded really sad on the phone last night."

"Wait." Dawn spins around, walking backward next to me. "You convinced your coach to give you time off to fly across the country during a game week because Evie sounded sad?"

"Really sad," I emphasize since maybe I"m not making it clear enough. "She sounded really sad."

"Oh, man. You got it bad." She grins at me. "Worse than I thought."

I don"t reply to that because, yeah, she"s absolutely right. I do have it bad.

We reach Dawn"s house.

Her husband Tim greets us at the door. He"s not the tattooed teenage punk he once was. He"s turned his life around and is working hard getting his plumbing business off the ground. I carefully lower Oakey off my shoulders.

"Hey, man, good to see you," Tim says, giving me a hug before turning his attention to his son. "You—upstairs now, mister. Bath time."

"Do I have to?"

"You do."

"Fine."

Oakey stomps down the hallway. Tim looks at me. "Great season. Stanley Cup could be yours this year."

"Fingers crossed."

"You sticking around?"

"Nah. Need to head off soon."

"I"ll get the little guy clean. Can you wait so he can say goodbye to you?"

"Of course."

Tim follows Oakey to give him his bath, leaving Dawn and me alone.

And like all good sisters, she can"t resist picking things up where we left them as soon as we sit down in the living room.

"So what"s the plan?"

"What plan?"

"Fraser. Come on. You"re fake dating the girl of your dreams. You have to have a plan. Please tell me you have a plan."

I hug a cushion into my chest. "Nope. No plan."

"Why not?"

"Because what"s the point? Nothing can ever come of it."

"Again, why not?"

"You know why." My gaze shifts beyond her, trailing down the length of the hallway.

"No. No, no. Don"t do that," she says.

"Do what?"

She gets up and sits on the same sofa as me, lowering her voice. "I appreciate everything that you, Mom, Dad, Trace, and Clay have done for me. I really do. More than I"ll ever be able to adequately express in words. But I need you to please, please, please stop putting your life on hold for me."

"It"s not just you. It"s Oakey, too."

She leans back. "We can"t protect him forever, Fraser."

"We can try."

"No," she says firmly. "You"ve done everything you can."

"But it"s my fault. I let you down. I should have done a better job of keeping you safe."

"It was never your job to monitor me twenty-four-seven. You have to stop blaming yourself for my actions as a sixteen-year-old kid. And besides, I was safe. I wasn"t sneaking out to go to parties or drink or take drugs. I was sneaking out to be with my boyfriend who I knew even back then I wanted to marry. And believe it or not, Tim and I did use protection. It just didn"t work. And I"m sick of being this secret that everyone in the family has to keep."

"We don"t have to keep this secret. It"s our choice," I correct her.

"Well, it doesn"t feel like a choice to me. It feels like a family decision we made seven years ago that made sense at the time. Mom and Dad didn"t want it to get out that their teenage daughter was pregnant. So Dad pulled the plug on the show, and everyone"s done their best to keep the attention off me. I appreciate it. I really do. But it"s different now. I"m twenty-four. I"m married to the father of my child. My angsty, emo days are long behind me."

That manages to draw a small smile out of me.

"I"m okay. I really am." Her lips twitch. "Besides, if I recall correctly, I wasn"t the only one sneaking out back then."

My cheeks get warmer. "You knew about that?"

She nods. "I knew you were as desperate to get out of filming that horrible show as I was, but I had no idea where you were going. I thought you"d be off doing something stupid like smoking pot in the pool house. So one night, I decided to follow you. I saw you climb into Evie"s room."

"Nothing ever happened, I swear."

"I know."

I drag my fingers through my hair. "And what about Oakey?"

"He has Down Syndrome, Fraser. That"s not something we need to hide from the world."

"I beg to differ."

Her eyes land on me. "I know you had a bad experience a few years ago."

"That"s putting it mildly," I scoff, a knot of tension forming in my gut as that awful memory comes rushing back to me.

It was my first year playing in the majors, and the Swifts were visiting a children"s hospital. We spent time with the kids, hanging out, talking, playing some b-ball with those who were up to it. The press were there covering it. It was meant to be a simple puff piece, some good PR for the team while raising awareness for the hospital.

When the story came out, I read it online and made the fatal mistake of scrolling down into the murky waters of the comments section.

The vast majority were positive?—

Heartwarming to see my favorite team taking time out of their busy schedules to bring joy and smiles to the sick children.

What an incredible gesture by the team! I"m sure the kids and their families appreciate it.

The Swifts rock! The players are great role models, both on and off the ice.

Unfortunately, a small section of comments weren"t.

I will never be able to erase from my memory the vile, disgusting things I read. What sort of sick, deranged individual makes jokes about sick kids or uses derogatory language I wouldn"t even think, much less have the gall to express?

After that, I doubled down on my efforts to do everything in my power to protect Oakey and make sure he never has to experience anything like that.

"The majority of people are good, Fraser. We can"t let our lives be dictated by the tiny percentage who aren"t. If people are truly so messed up that they"d make fun of a kid with an intellectual disability, that says everything we need to know about them."

"I understand. Logically. But I don"t want Oakey to ever have to go through that. He"s an innocent kid. He doesn"t deserve it."

"I agree. But we can"t shield him forever. What we can do is make sure that if or when something bad happens, we"re there for him. Say what you want about our family, but we are always there for each other."

"Yeah. We are."

"You can"t keep living your life with these walls up. You have to let people in."

"I let people in," I lie, and she clocks it instantly.

"That"s not the way Tori sees it."

I take full advantage of the opening to deflect away from myself for a moment. "I still haven"t forgiven you for setting me up with her, by the way. What made you think we"d be a good match?"

"She"s nice, pretty, and down-to-earth…for an influencer."

"Big caveat-slash-red flag right there."

"I"m sorry. I had no idea she"d morph into such a publicity-hungry monster. But stop deflecting and deal with what we"re talking about."

"Which is?" I pretend not to know, smiling goofily.

"You and your guardedness." She punches my arm softly. "There"s taking time to get to know someone and build up trust, and then there"s…well, you. You move at the pace of a tortoise with two broken legs."

"It was never going to work out with Tori," I say.

"Why?"

Because she"s not Evie.

"Because I wasn"t in love with her," I answer honestly. "And we wanted different things, aside from our approach to publicity."

"I know."

"Huh?"

Dawn drops her head. "She told me."

"What?" I straighten, my heartrate kicking up a notch. "What do you mean she told you?"

There is no way Tori would betray me like that. She swore she wouldn"t tell anyone.

My brain snags on something Dawn said earlier. "Before, when I said nothing ever happened when I would sneak into Evie"s bedroom, you said "I know.""

"I did."

Yep, that confirms it. My sister knows.

I shake my head. "I can"t believe Tori told you."

"I, uh…may have led her to believe I already knew."

"What?"

"Please don"t be mad. She was upset about the breakup, and I was consoling her. She alluded to this big secret you had, and I panicked. I worried she was referring to something bad, like you were into drugs, or…punk music."

"Now is not the time to be bringing up my well-known dislike of punk music."

"Anyway, when she told me you were a, uh…" Dawn sighs. "When she told me that you wanted to wait until you got married, I felt relieved. And instantly guilty for knowing. I didn"t mean to pry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you okay, Fraser?"

"My sister just told me she knows I"m a virgin. How great do you think I"m feeling right about now?"

"Hey. You"ve never judged me for the choices I"ve made in my life, and I am not judging you for yours. In fact, I think it"s great."

"You do?"

She nods enthusiastically. "Totally. It"s old-school romantic." She pauses. "Can I ask why you"re waiting?"

I"ve given this a lot of thought over the years, so my answer comes easily.

"Because of Mom and Dad. They were each other"s first loves. And Nan and Pop." Mom"s parents. "High school sweethearts. And when Mom told me the story about her grandparents growing up next door to each other, it sealed the deal for me. I like the idea of only being with one person. I want that one big love. I just wish it would hurry up and get here."

Dawn smiles knowingly at me. "I have a feeling it"s already here. You just need to be brave and open up to Evie. You trust her, right?"

"I do. She"s the only person I"ve ever truly opened up to."

"Is that what you guys did when you snuck into her room?"

"Yeah. We used to lie on the floor and talk. Eat food. Watch games. She used to make bracelets."

"I wish I hadn"t been so stuck in my emo, I hate everything and everyone ways and had made more of an effort with her. She seemed like a great person."

"She still is."

"I"d love to see her."

"She"d like to see you, too."

"Awesome. Let"s set it up." When I open my mouth to say something about how that would be impossible, Dawn beats me to it. "And I"m calling a family meeting so I can come out of hibernation. I am done being hidden from the world. I"m not saying we do an exclusive sit-down with 60 Minutes anytime soon, but if my story comes out, it comes out. I"m a grown woman. I can handle it."

She takes a breath, then continues. "Clayton is a clown appearing on every reality TV show he can get on. Mom is basking in the glory of her back-to-back Emmy wins. Dad and Trace are killing it running the family business. Everyone has moved on with their lives except for you, and I don"t want you to feel like you have to hide me away like I"m some dirty little secret."

"I"ve never thought of you like that."

"I know you haven"t. But it"s time, Fraser. It"s time for you to move on."

She"s right. About everything. She is an adult, and a strong and capable one at that. I have to stop using her and Oakey and the whole situation as an excuse to stop myself from living my own life.

"Fine. Call the family meeting."

Oakey runs into the living room in his dinosaur pajamas, full of energy, his sandy-blond hair still damp, and leaps onto my lap.

"I need to get going, kiddo."

He gives me an almighty hug. "I love you, Uncle Fras."

"I love you, too, buddy."

As I get into my car and the three of them wave me off, Dawn mouths the words, "Open up."

I think about it on the thirty-minute drive down the mountain into Comfort Bay.

I"ve always been a reserved person, even as a kid. Making friends has never been easy for me. It isn"t that I"m shy, I just don"t have a natural way around people.

I"m not outgoing and charismatic like my oldest brother Trace, who can walk into any room and strike up a conversation with anyone. He"s got the gift of making you feel like you"re the only person in the world when he"s talking to you.

And I didn"t inherit Mom"s incurable need to be the center of attention like Clayton did. He laps up people"s attention like the "Best in Show" winner at a dog show.

My only talents in life are shooting a puck into a net and keeping up—or trying to—with Evie and Levi"s non-stop banter.

Once I get into town, I stop by the flower shop to get Evie some more yellow roses, exchanging a few words with Hannah.

I make the short drive from the shop to Evie"s place, pulling up in front of her apartment block. It"s a rustic two-story building with wood and stucco exteriors painted in warm, earthy tones and a classic Spanish-style tile roof.

A grin spreads across my face as I stride into the building.

She has no idea I"m coming, and I can"t wait to see the look on her face when she sees me.

I reach her door, take out my phone, and press the green button next to her name. Whatever music she"d been playing—not punk, thankfully—stops, and she answers.

"Hey, Fraser."

My heart drops because in those two words alone, I can feel her not-okayness through the phone. The meeting she had with her boss today mustn"t have gone well. At least it justifies my crazy decision to fly across the country to be with her.

"Hey, Evie. What"s up?"

"Oh. You know. The usual life of a modern gal living it up in Comfort Bay on a Wednesday night. It"s all very glamorous. Sipping on a cocktail while deciding what seven-thousand-dollar dress to buy next to add to my collection."

I knock on the door.

"Sorry. Can you hang on? There"s someone here." I hear her shuffling toward the door. "I wonder who it is. I haven"t ordered any food."

I"m smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. "No problem. I"ll wait."

She unlocks the door, and it swings wide open.

Her mouth falls open, and she stares at me in sheer horror, almost dropping the ice cream carton she"s carrying in one hand and the hot glue gun in the other.

"Oh, my gosh, Fraser! What are you doing here?" is what I think she means to say, but because of the spoon in her mouth, it comes out more like, "Oh, mmmph gosh, Frah-sa! Wha" ah yew doin" "ere?"

Good thing I"m well-versed in Evie-speak.

"Surprising you, of course." I lift the bouquet of flowers in front of me and flash her a wide smile. "Surprise!"