8. Marina

CHAPTER 8

MARINA

I hold my breath before I approach the door, hesitating because I don't know what to expect. Lila stares up at me with huge eyes, then yawns.

With a smile, I reach into her stroller to hold her hand. "It's all right, baby girl. Just three weeks. We can do it."

I'm aware that I'm saying it more to myself than anything else, but pretending to soothe Lila with a conversation always helps. More than anything, I'm glad I'm not afraid of heights. A penthouse apartment sounds cool in theory, but in practice this one is so much taller than I would have ever imagined.

Carefully, and feeling like I'm not allowed to be here, I press the doorbell. For a second, I think Ellis has forgotten all about us and isn't even in, because he makes us wait a long moment before he answers. But then I hear him shuffling around inside, and slowly his footsteps approach.

He unlocks the door and grimaces at me and Lila.

Lila stares up at him as if she's assessing him, then sticks her tongue out. I know she's not really that conscious of what she's doing, but it amuses me to think that she's taunting Ellis on purpose.

"Come in," he says, his eyes flicking down to Lila and then back up to me. His expression is impossible to read.

Famously he's supposed to be emotionless and cold. I'm not sure I believe that's entirely true, but he definitely does a good job of pretending.

He holds the door open for us, and we head inside. I feel him glaring at the stroller as if he's thinking about how the wheels are going to be dirty on his floor. I don't really care. After all, for the next three weeks, he is going to have to find out what it's like to carry a nine-month-old baby around the whole time.

It's significantly less fun than he might think.

It breaks my heart that there's going to come a day when I'm not able to lift Lila up any more, but for now she's still a perfect size for cuddles.

To spare his luscious cream carpet from the horror of dirt, I park the stroller by the door and pick Lila up. She nestles happily into my arms.

Ellis leads us from the tiny entry corridor into the apartment. It's a huge, open-plan space with great big windows that let light shine into the kitchen and living room. To the right there's a corridor, which I assume leads to bedrooms and bathrooms and possibly secondary living spaces. I don't know.

This place is huge. But this is clearly where he entertains guests, in his main, vast living room. "Welcome," he says awkwardly.

Maybe he doesn't entertain guests. From the way he's acting around us, it's almost like he never has anyone here to visit at all.

Lila babbles something at him, and he gives her that awkward look again, like he's not at all sure what he's supposed to say or do around her. It's a funny image. This obscenely wealthy, completely uptight guy, wearing a suit that probably costs more than a month's rent for me, faced with a baby — and he's utterly speechless. It just goes to prove that nobody can do everything.

"Hello," he manages at last. Lila glares at him, then covers her face with both hands, her mouth wobbling like she's about to start crying.

Please, I will her in my mind. Please don't .

Instead, she just lets out a burp, which makes me and her giggle. Ellis remains thoroughly unimpressed.

"Come and sit down," he says stiffly.

I sit down on the sofa and let Lila down on the floor. Usually I wouldn't do that without having thoroughly checked a place out first, but it's obvious that Ellis has a cleaner come in because the place is spotless. The décor is all gray minimalism, sleek silver curves, and next to no decoration anywhere. I can't see one single personal trinket anywhere, so I'm not exactly worried about her picking up something strange and putting it in her mouth.

"It's not very baby-friendly, is it?" I say, looking around the place.

"What do you mean?" asks Ellis, confused. He gestures at Lila, who has decided to sit squarely in the middle of the floor. "She's fine."

"No, I know, but I mean… well, look at it." I gesture around. "This totally doesn't look like the kind of place where a family lives."

"But it's nice," says Ellis, completely missing my point.

"No, yeah. It's very nice," I say. Then, wondering why I'm pandering to a billionaire, I shake my head and sigh. "Look, my point is, shouldn't this place look slightly like the kind of place where a baby lives rather than is allowed to stay on contract?"

Ellis frowns. How is he not getting this? I shut my eyes, thinking of how to explain it in more detail. "Look, everything's great, for an adult. But gray is a horrible color for babies. They need stimulation. You at least need to make it look like there's some toys or something in here. I'm not asking for family photos and keepsakes…"

"Just something," says Ellis, and I think he finally understands what I mean. "I'll speak with my team."

I don't reply to that. I can't think of anything nice to say. Of course he's not capable of decorating his own house. He's rich. Why would he do anything for himself?

Fortunately, Lila breaks the tension by crawling up to Ellis and glaring at him. "What's this?" he says. "Is this good or bad?"

I chuckle. "Well, she isn't running away, which is a good sign. She usually does that with new people."

"Can she run?"

"No, what I mean is, she's not hiding from you. She can be a little shy sometimes. I guess it's my fault for not having her spend enough time around other people, but it's not…" I trail off, not quite wanting to confess to him that I don't have any friends.

"Not what?" he asks.

I shrug. "Nothing. I just don't know anyone else with a baby, that's all." Even if it's not fully the truth, it's not fully a lie either. To my relief, he accepts the answer as good enough.

Time to change the subject, I think. I reach my arms out to Lila, who's headed off now on all fours. "Come here, sweetheart. Let's say hello."

She turns to look at us, but stays just out of reach, crawling and shuffling herself around as she explores. Ellis watches her with an intent curiosity, as if he's surprised she can't walk. Soon, I'm hoping. Before I know it, she's going to be running about everywhere. "Come say hello to Ellis," I say to her.

He frowns. "She can't speak?"

I choose not to comment on his ignorance. I guess if you don't have kids, why would you know anything about that development? Still, though, I thought most people at least knew a little something about when babies started walking and talking.

"Honey, come here." I wave my hands at Lila to get her attention. She blinks her eyes wide open at me, then babbles something inexplicable. I wish I could tell what was going on in her head.

She shuffles her way over to me, and I pick her up to put her on my lap. Immediately she launches into my arms for a hug, wrapping her tiny hands around me. I give her squeeze, kissing her head as I embrace her.

I imagine what she would be saying to me if she could speak: Mommy, who's this strange man and why are we in his house?

"It's okay, baby," I reassure her, not caring if Ellis thinks it's strange that I'm having a one-sided conversation where I'm filling in the blanks inside my mind.

"Say hello to Ellis," I say gently to her. "You two are going to be friends."

This is possibly one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had in my life. I can't believe I'm sitting here in a billionaire's house telling my daughter that we're all going to be friends. This is a guy who's shown nothing but contempt for me.

Oh, my God. The reality of my situation is starting to hit. I'm going to have to pretend to be married to this man.

I'm going to have to pretend that I care about him. Not just as a person, or figure, but as a man I chose to marry . A man I chose to have a kid with.

I'm going to have to pretend that he's the father of my daughter.

I know Lila's real dad isn't anywhere to be seen, but that doesn't stop this strange pretense from feeling too bizarre to be true. One day she's going to watch this show and ask me what the hell I was thinking. And I'll tell her the straight truth: I did it for her.

Because of this TV show, we'll be able to have a wonderful, beautiful life together.

Actually, I'd prefer if she never, ever saw the show and any proof of its existence was eradicated from the light of day. But I have no control over that. I've no doubt that people are about to start recognizing us and that I'm not going to be able to hide from that.

For better or worse, this show is about to propel me and Lila into the public eye, because the fact is, Ellis is well-known. Somehow, he even has fans. And for every fan he has, he has someone who's willing to go online and hate on him too.

There are lots of people who would be interested in watching a TV show about him, if only to bitch about his life for the sake of gossip. It already happens online. People get into fights about whether he's a good person or not.

A wave of nausea rushes over me. Is that really the life I want for my daughter? For her mother to be infamous as the wife of a billionaire — and a liar? My head is spinning with moral dilemmas that I can't answer and the knowledge of an NDA that I've signed and can't back out of.

Fortunately, I'm snapped out of my spiral by Ellis introducing himself to Lila. "Hello," he says awkwardly, as if he's addressing an adult. "My name is Ellis. How are you?"

I bite my lip to suppress the smile that's threatening to break. I guess it's sweet that he's trying, but he clearly has never spoken to a baby before in his life.

Lila squints at him then shuffles round to bury her face in my chest again, gripping my shirt as if to hide from the scary new man.

"It's okay, baby," I say again, gently prying her hands open from the grasp she has on me. I encourage her to turn to face Ellis, but she just covers her face with both hands again. Carefully, she peeks out through her fingers at him, like she's trying to assess what to do next.

I give her a tickle, trying to encourage her to engage, and that makes her giggle loudly, flailing her limbs around. Relaxing, she sticks her hand in her mouth and stares at Ellis.

He looks back uncomfortably. "Is this good?"

"You're doing fine," I say, aware that I'm soothing the feelings of the billionaire again. "Here, why don't you hold her?"

"Is that a good idea?"

"I'll take her straight back if she's not happy, or if you're not happy. It'll be totally okay. Anyway, you have to get used to her sooner or later."

"What if I drop her?"

"You won't. Just hold on tightly. She'll be okay."

"Okay," he agrees uncertainly, his eyes fixed on Lila in my lap.

He sits straight up, opening his arms stiffly as he prepares to receive her, grimacing like he does not want to do it at all. This man has got a lot to learn in a week if he thinks he's going to be able to act like a family man by the time the cameras roll in.

After all, fathers are supposed to like holding their children.

I scoop Lila up and place her down in Ellis's lap. Automatically, his arms close around her like he's holding on to something incredibly precious. I don't say anything at all as he settles down with her. I'm interested to see how this is going to play out.

That doesn't mean I'm not watching closely, though. Lila frowns, looking down at Ellis's arms robotically clamping her in place. Her lips start wobbling like she's about to cry. Silently, I beg her not to. If anything is going to turn Ellis off this plan, it'll be a wailing baby getting bodily fluids everywhere.

But she doesn't. Instead she looks up at him, blows a raspberry, then flops down into his arms. "Oh, she's dribbling," he says, not taking his eyes off her. "Is that normal?"

"Yes," I say with a smile. "One thing about babies is you cannot stop them from leaking."

"Gross."

Lila wiggles around in his arms, getting comfortable, babbling at him like she's trying to say something. "Oh, I see," he says in response. "That's very good."

I feel my smile widen. For all that he doesn't seem to want to do this, he's doing much better with her than so many other people. Sure, he's awkward and weird, but he's actually treating her like a person. You'd be surprised how many people don't recognize that babies are people too.

Both of them get more comfortable and start making faces at each other. I sit back and watch, delighted by how easily they're acclimatizing. I was so worried that Ellis was going to be weird about my baby, but it is delightful to see them actually getting on okay. Plus, it's nice to have someone else entertain Lila for a while.

I love playing with her more than anything, but sometimes it is nice to let someone else have a go as well.

Eventually, Lila gets tired and starts sinking down into his lap, her eyes fluttering shut with the exertion of being awake. "Looks like you've got a new friend," I say with a smile.

With that, Lila promptly bursts into tears.

"What do I do now?" Ellis asks, flustered.

I glance at my watch. "Oh, she must be hungry. This is usually the time I feed her."

"Right…" He stares at me, grimacing as he tries to figure out how to stop Lila wiggling out of his arms. "What do you need?"

"I've brought formula; I just need to mix it. Can you hold her while I do?"

"Okay," he says, and despite his face telling me he's unhappy, the softness with which he holds Lila and the unconscious way he starts bouncing her tells me the truth.

I think Ellis might be getting attached already.

As I stir up the formula, nothing in his actions proves me wrong, and for the very first time, I find myself thinking that this crazy scheme might just have legs after all.