28. Marina

CHAPTER 28

MARINA

L ila bursts into tears the second the hammering on the door starts, spilling paint all over herself and the floor, which just makes the tears stronger.

"Argh," I say, wavering between attending to Lila and answering the door.

I look between the two again, then decide that whoever's at the door is probably an adult and can cope with waiting two minutes while I calm Lila down. Or maybe they'll go away. That would be good too.

I'm not exactly in the mood to entertain.

Lila wails again, and I scoop her up into my arms, glad that I'm not wearing white. Paint-covered clothes aren't exactly my ideal, but she needs me close now, and it'll wash. It will all wash.

"Hush, sweetie," I coo, bouncing her about.

She only just stops crying when the thumping on the door starts again.

"Shut up!" I yell, and, carrying my screaming baby through the house, I fling open the door, ready to rage at whoever's there for disturbing our peaceful afternoon, only to be shocked into silence.

It's Ellis.

Not only is it Ellis, but it's Ellis looking ragged and breathless, like he's just been running. His jacket is hanging limply on his shoulders. The top buttons on his shirt have come undone, revealing a sweaty flush on his chest, and the ghost of stubble lines his jaw, while his hair lies limply on his head, damp and untidy.

He looks a total mess.

"Ellis," I manage to choke out. "What are you doing here?"

"What's this?" he demands, holding up a magazine and waving it in my face. Lila reaches out for him and he reaches back, touching one of her paint-stained hands with his finger.

It takes all my strength not to find it cute.

Then I read the magazine headline, and my heart stops. "Come in," I say, not knowing what else to do.

"Is it true?" he says as he crosses into my living room. All I can do is nod. His face falls, then quietly he asks, "Is it mine?"

"Yes, Ellis. He's yours."

"He? They can tell that soon?"

I shake my head. "No. But I have a feeling about it. He's going to be your son. Our son."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demands, and I flinch at his rage until I see the tearful hurt in his eyes. He's not angry because he hates me. He's angry because he wanted to know.

I shouldn't have let him in, because I'm already starting to forgive him.

All along, I've known somewhere inside me that I've only tried to hate Ellis to make it hurt less. It hasn't worked. All it's done is left me with an ache and an unfulfilled desire to set the record straight. I said everything I needed to say to him on that day, but it wasn't fair.

"I didn't know how to," I say eventually. "I didn't know if you would care, and I didn't have the words."

"You didn't know if I would care ?" he says, his eyes wide in shock. "Of course I care, Marina! That's our baby!"

"Okay, sorry!" I snap. If he can have a tantrum, so can I, and Lila has barely stopped crying even upon seeing him. It seems only right for us all to lose it together. I put her down back with her paint, and, to my relief, she goes back to playing.

I wonder if she recognizes Ellis at all. I wonder if she missed him.

"You aren't exactly the world's biggest family man, are you?" I continue. "I was going to tell you eventually; I just wasn't sure when would be right, okay? I thought you were back to being business Ellis, not caring about anything but money."

"Business Ellis is dead, Marina," he growls. "You killed him."

"Wow," I huff, throwing my hands up. "Thanks a bunch. I killed the only thing you ever cared about. God, Ellis, why do you have to?—"

Anything else I was going to say dies in my throat because Ellis cuts me off, pulling me in for a kiss that melts me entirely.

Damn him to hell. I still love him. This just proves it.

It's damp and passionate, and when he finally lets go, a tear falls down his face. "I'm sorry, Marina," he says, his voice low. "I'm so sorry. I've been so stupid and cruel to you, and it was wrong. I know these are just words, but I swear I mean them. I should never have done any of that to you, but I was scared."

"Scared?" I echo. What the hell did Ellis have to be scared of?

But I let him continue because the force of the apology is threatening to bowl me over.

"Yes, scared. I was scared of the person you were helping me to become. I wasn't sure if I was going to like him. He was kinder, gentler. He was better. I'm better. I'm better for knowing you, and Lila. All my life, I've thought success was what I needed in order to feel good. And for a while it was. But it's empty. It's so empty without anyone to share it with."

I stare at him for a long moment, our hands still clasped together like they're magnetically linked. "You want to share it with me," I say. It's not a question, but he nods anyway.

"I want you, Marina. You're haunting me. You're in all my dreams. You're in all my nightmares. I see you everywhere I turn. I've wanted to say sorry ever since the café, but I didn't know how."

"You didn't know how, huh?" I say, finally cracking a smile as tears start to fall down my own face.

He smiles back. "I didn't know if you would want me."

"I didn't know if you would want me ."

He takes my hand and holds it to his heart. "I meant every word I said when we were together. I want you, Marina. You're stunning, and your heart is so big it's terrifying. I want to be in your life, and your family. I want to watch Lila grow. I want to be there for our baby."

His voice cracks at that, and I can't do anything except fall into his arms.

Lila watches from the floor, babbling away as she paints. I'm going to keep that one too, and I'm going to call it Miscommunication and Reunion .

The Ellis I loved was always there. He's just proved that to me. He's standing here in front of me.

He wraps his around me, and I look up at him. "I don't know what you've done to me, Ellis, but I love you."

He just holds me for a while, cradling me against his chest like I'm something precious that he lost and has only just found again. This is the man I've been pining for; the one with the sensitive blue eyes and the arms that feel so safe I never want to move.

It could just be empty promises, but we've already done enough doubting to last us a lifetime. He wants me just like I want him. There is nothing to question. The love is there. It's just a fact.

And this time, I'm not going to let fear get in the way.

"No, Marina," he says quietly, at last. "You've done something to me. Something so wonderful that it's going to take my whole life to make it up to you. I love you. Will you let me?"

I reach up and kiss him, savoring the feeling of his lips against mine. "Yes," I whisper. "Yes. Be mine."