64. REEMA

He would not stop eating me out. That isn't a complaint, but a reason why it's now close to midnight and we're parked outside my old apartment building.

Logistically, my new place won't be ready to sleep in until tomorrow. And though Jake offered for me to stay with him, I need to say a proper goodbye to being roomies with Ms.Beatrice.

The car is turned off, and we are blanketed in darkness. Above us, a moon winks out from around some nebulous clouds. There's a soft humidity in the air as if it might rain soon.

"I'd invite you up," I say. "But there's not a lot of space. I mean, if you don't mind sleeping cramped?—"

"I don't."

"You want to come up?"

"I do."

"It's not going to be super comfortable for you."

"I don't care."

Before I can ask why, he answers.

"Because you're going to be there."

My heart skips a beat and sings. I need to reach over and hold his hand, so I do. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

The elevator is broken again (color me not shocked), so the walk up to the apartment takes time. Also, we keep slowing down and kissing each other. Other than how curiously fast I melt into his arms, I do a check to see if I'm feeling embarrassed or nervous or anxious about Jake seeing where I used to live.

Not so long ago, I drove home alone after fainting so he wouldn't see this.

Getting closer, my legs are a bit trembly, but most of that is from our earlier activities. No, I'm not ashamed any longer. There's no great effort to pretend my history didn't happen. He already knows it, and now, it feels like a full circle has come around where he gets to support me while I close another chapter in my life.

Ms.Beatrice greets me with love, and Jake with even more love. She says with the amount of complaining I used to do about him, she always knew there were deeper feelings there. Jake, for his part, charms her completely. He's attentive, funny, and apologizes sincerely for interrupting her night at this hour.

Ms.Beatrice is besotted and makes us both promise to visit her in Florida when she moves.

"You don't even have to invite me." I hug her again. "I was already planning on visiting since we will be family forever." To Jake I say, "This woman saved me."

Cheesily, he says, "Then I'm in her debt forever."

Ms.Beatrice swoons more, and only after some prodding and because I see her stifle multiple yawns, does she go back to sleep.

In the living room, I pull back the curtain.

Jake stares at it, and stares at it, and stares some more.

"It can fit two people," I insist.

Silently, he gets on the bed. When I join him, I'm engulfed by strong arms.

"What's this?" I mumble against his head.

"Let me hold you."

"What if I don't like cuddling?"

"Too bad." He buries his face against my neck. "I need this."

After a while, I speak. "Your mom's house… we never talked more about it. You must be relieved that it's bought."

"There was a moment, I didn't think I could get it," he admits. "And I thought I'd be pissed at my father again for putting us in that situation. But I wasn't."

"No?"

"During your sister's wedding week, we kept things from each other. You didn't tell me about Harry, and I didn't tell you about Tarun." He pulls me tighter against him. "I had this—moment. Where I understood my father a bit. This need to not hurt the people you love, and how the thought of losing them is absolutely terrifying."

"You forgive him?"

"I don't know. After he collapsed, he passed away. My mom—and brothers—we didn't get to say our goodbyes. He was in a coma so quickly that it felt…" He sighs. "Like he robbed us of time. There were so many conversations I thought we had time for, but the possibility was gone in a blink."

"Do you think he was trying to protect you?"

"Maybe. But it screwed me up."

"Your need to always be prepared and calculate the worst odds," I realize, understanding it more than I ever have now. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Sorry you lost him and your faith in him at the same time. That's so shitty."

"Thank you for saying that." He kisses the side of my head. "Now, can we talk about that poster on your wall?"

Ah yes, my trifecta of goals. Debt. New place. Dick.

The cornerstone of development for any well-rounded woman.

"Speaking to that last point, I'll be the only man you'll be getting that from. I'm not willing to share."

My stomach flutters at his blatant possessiveness. Yeah, I like that.

"Hmm. Guess I should send a notice out to all my Finder matches."

Even in the dark, I see his nostrils flare. "Where did that one guy take you?"

He's talking about… Weebly? Windigo? Weston? I barely remember his name. He's a mote in my distance, but… this could be fun.

"Picnic by the water," I say wistfully.

There is silence, but it's not real. If Jake's brain made noise, it would crack eardrums. The gears spin. A low growl slips out of him. "I'll out-picnic the fuck out of him. Not with one date, but thousands of them. I'm going to spend the rest of my life planning dates for you."

"Only if I can do the same for you."

His thumb slides along the delicate arch of my throat. An immediate throb down below starts and now I'm taking back my words. This bed can't fit us. Not for the activities I'm suddenly imagining.

"Here and there you can," smirks Jake. "For every fifty dates I do the work of putting together, you can plan one."

"That seems unfair. For you."

"I disagree."

I lean into his palm so the pressure increases (More, Sir). "How about blowjobs? I could show my appreciation that way?"

He lifts my jaw to give himself better access. My bottom lip is nipped at. "You could do that." The corner of my mouth is kissed. "But I know your game. I'm onto you."

"What is my game?" My tongue peeks out.

"You love reducing me to an animal. And it starts when you do that?—"

He catches my tongue with his. They tangle together.

"I can't lie," I gasp. "Making you lose your mind does give me great joy."

"And who am I to deny you?"

"Real sacrifice there," I say. "And I can feel your growing interest talking about it, but Ms.Beatrice is a light sleeper."

"You, of course, aren't interested at all."

"Don't check my panties. They aren't drenched."

Jake growls out a groan and then drops his forehead to mine. "I love you."

My body soars. Those words. I can't get enough of them. I don't think I ever will.

"I love you, too. Should we try to get some sleep? Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

He gathers me closer, the whir of the vents surrounding us as the night stretches on. On the springiest of beds, cocooned by a very familiar curtain, and in the arms of a man who holds me preciously, rest comes easy. Past, present, and the burgeoning future. Everything settles into this more resolved harmony inside me.

The next day, I give Ms.Beatrice a big goodbye-for-now embrace and move into my new place.

Leo and Wyatt show up with a truck full of furniture. Jake goes and helps them upload. Carrying a side-table over his shoulder, he comes toward me. "What is it? You're smiling."

"That's because I'm excited!"