30. REEMA

I'm in my sister's suite, and we're using the face masks Leo gifted me. This is our only moment of peace before true madness kicks off this week. Maiyan, Jago, Wedding, Reception. Chaotic celebrations are going to hit us, one after the other.

And, at any point, Harry could show up. Or maybe he won't. Maybe he's got testicular torsion or his balls completely fell off and he's got to deal with that instead. Anything is possible if you manifest hard enough.

My sister hoists herself higher on the bed. "This mask has an odd texture. I feel as if I've got cum all over my face."

"Speaking from loads of experience?"

"What? No—" She groans. "Okay, yes. I mean, obviously we've done that."

"Bravo."

She narrows her eyes at me, I think. Hard to tell with the sheet mask obscuring most of her eyelids. "When's the last time you had a face full of cum?"

"Right this second."

That looked like an eye-roll. "You know what I mean?"

"I'm not sure that I do, since I'm so virginal with my virtue."

Not a lie, considering it's been a long time for me. Not that she knows that. Esha thinks I'm with Coleman, so I can't make some off-handed comment about my ongoing drought, and how I'm tired of the stealth-orgasms I give myself in the shower, since my bed is in a communal living space. And how it only happens when I'm not falling asleep on my feet so, basically, never.

"My face and tits are his favorite landing spot," I correct with a hasty follow-up.

Unbidden, an image of him ordering me to go on my knees so I can suck him off crosses my mind. He'd pull out at the last second, cockily saying something about painting me with it. Too easily, I can imagine his enraging smirk?—

Too late, I hear Esha asking me a question. "Sorry?"

She needs to repeat herself and I need to calm down my racing pulse.

"I was saying that when you first told me you were dating someone, I wasn't sure what to think. I thought you might be lying."

Surprise dread makes my stomach cramp. Suddenly, I can't move. "O-kay."

"Only because you kept forgetting to send me a picture of him! And you were so stingy with the details of how you met. But then when you told me he was coming to the wedding, I felt shitty because obviously he's real and in your life."

I want to get up and run.

She pokes my knee. "He isn't what I thought you would be into, but I like him."

"He grows on you," I say faintly. "He's overly large and determined. If you ask for effort, he'll give you more than you thought he would. A surprising amount of it. Really, if you wanted someone to have your back and you knew he cared even a little, there would be no reason to pick anyone else."

My defense of Coleman comes easy. If I weren't feeling like the worst person right now, that fact alone would alarm me.

"You like him." Esha peels off her mask, and true to her word, the texture is gloopy. Despite that, her eyes shine bright. "I'm so relieved and happy for you. And if you would allow your younger sister to give you some advice…"

I can only nod.

"I've been listening to this podcast, and Dr.Hart, their relationship expert, said something that stuck with me. He said, don't make him fall in love with the wrong version of you. Or don't fall in love with the idealized version of him."

"You are telling me I'm not perfect?" I'm not. So far from it.

"Yes. No. I'm saying I saw you and Jake today."

I wait for her to tell me we're completely wrong for each other. That as a couple, we make zero sense.

"You bicker and get annoyed, and always seem to be pushing against each other. Normally that would give me some red flag energy, but I can tell you like it. It's almost this private game that fires you up. Him, too. Both of you keep watching to see what the other person is doing all the time. It's gross and cute, all at once."

She pokes my knee again. "I'm happy you found someone to be yourself around. Sorry for not believing he existed. Can you forgive me?"

"You don't have to apologize." My fingers grab her hand. I'm clinging to it, trying to survive the guilt gnawing pieces off me. She has it all wrong. Esha was right in the first place. I was lying the whole time.

She keeps going.

"Falling in love with Gurinder has been one of the best feelings I've ever felt. It's been so lovely, and I've been hoping it would happen for you again."

Rocks settle firmly in my chest. I planned this whole deception because I was stressed and couldn't handle the interrogation of my family. I couldn't handle anyone learning about my real situation. I so desperately wanted to pretend to have my life together.

But this is much worse. Being a fraud while my sister tries to have our most sincere conversation yet, and her apologizing for doubting me?

It's messed up.

There is no way I can let her keep believing in me.

I need to stop before it gets away from me, even though it feels like it already has.

"I have to tell you something," I croak out, suddenly scared. Will she understand why I did it? Or will she be devastated and hurt that I tricked her? Can we recover from this? What's going to be her reaction?

Bringing my hand to her stomach, she grins. "Me first."

I look down at where she's got my palm pressed against her belly.

"I'm pregnant. Not that far along, but that's why I've been so emotional lately. Let's blame the hormones. Not that I regret it. I feel like they are forcing me to be more open. Like I can admit how stressful this wedding planning was, and how I want everything to go perfectly, and that I'm glad it's finally here. But I'll also be glad when it's over." She squeezes my hand. "I can also admit that it feels like forever since we got to hang out like this. And that I'm way less worried about you living far away from us. Hopefully our wacky family doesn't scare Jake off, but I have a feeling it won't. He seems like a steady man."

I pull her into my arms and hug her. She mumbles something about not getting carried away with affection.

My sister is having a baby.

She tosses a light-hearted insult my way for routine's sake, and then goes to wipe the gunk off her face. I'm left frozen in bed. That I had something to tell her is forgotten by Esha, but it's for the best.

She's pregnant and stressed. And she wants this wedding to be perfect.

My stomach goes into knots.

It's already too late.

I can't tell her now.

All I can do is make sure no one finds out the truth about Coleman.