23. REEMA

I can't believe it.

Did Jake Coleman really offer to be my fake boyfriend for Esha's wedding?

Where's the punch-line?

When I get back home, I pack the rest of my belongings. In my bag are the few outfits from my original wardrobe that I save for special occasions. If anyone in my family has noticed me repeat the same ones over these last two years, no one has mentioned it to me. It helps that we don't see each other often. With the big wedding planning going on, it's been at least six months since I saw them last. Of course, I've helped over the phone, but that doesn't compare to the business of being there in person.

My parents have—once or twice—mentioned coming to visit me, but I've put them off by talking about long hours at work, and when that doesn't work, gone to see them instead. It's how I've kept the reality of my situation a secret from everyone. No one knows the consequences of my foolishness.

Pretend for a little longer. Then, when you get the bonus, clear all the debt, and find an apartment worth having visitors over for.

It's going to work, right? I will win the bonus, won't I?

Coleman knows I've done something. If he digs?—

Technically, I didn't go into the office. If they check the security code of the doors, it won't show someone trying to get in at night.

But if they check the parking lot cameras…

There's no reason to do that. But if they did, would Mr.Davies take the money away from me?

I close the curtains around my bed and lie down. There's a painful spring on the left side of the futon. I love star-fishing at night but have taught my body to stay curled on the right side because of it.

If everything goes according to plan, I won't have to do that anymore. I'll get a proper bed. The thought of bedding without discomfort should make me happy… but why do I feel so uneasy? Coleman was pissed. I could tell. He's not the type of man to give up. I know he's going to attack work with a vengeance. Leo will be in Jamaica, so he won't even be able to track the scoreboard for me, and my login has been disabled. I'll be blind for a whole week.

Make him blind, too.

If he went to the wedding with me…

No, that's fucking nuts!

Even though, with Mr.Davies' new policy, it would mean he couldn't login either. Both of us would have our hands tied at the same time. Is it reason enough to take him up on his offer?

But also why? What reason does he have to be my date? What would be in it for him? What am I missing?

I roll on my side and look at my phone. My sister called three times this week, which is a lot for her, and I need to call her back. I've been avoiding it, telling myself I could figure out a plan before talking to her, but none of the Finder matches have worked. Tonight, the night before I leave for the wedding, is when I have to say my boyfriend can't make it. Stomach issues. Crapping your pants. No one questions that. If I tell her now, it gives her some time to inform everyone before I show up.

Then…

Everyone will harass you for the details.

Still, I've got no option.

I call Esha.

"You can't be too busy for your sister," she says. "Especially right now."

"Sorry! Work. You know how busy it gets."

"This is important?—"

"I know, your wedding is important?—"

"No," she interrupts. "Not that. Well, it is important, but that's not why I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"Oh. What's going on?"

"Harry."

My stomach instantly cramps into a knot. Now I'm about to crap my pants. "Harry? What… about him?"

"He found out about my wedding. And if you picked up my call, I'd have asked if it mattered, but then Uncle Sammy, being Uncle Sammy, invited Harry anyway on behalf of the family. I swear he's trying to get him and everyone else to invest in his pyramid scheme. He's been inviting so many extras to my wedding! Anyway, before I could stop it, Harry already RSVP'd yes. Who knows if he'll actually show up and you have your own boyfriend coming, so I think it's fine, right? You always said your separation was super friendly, which is weird, but whatever."

Say no. Tell her the truth.

You invited the person who made me this way, Esha. Why would you do that?

Except, she's got no idea. No one does.

"Who wants to run into their ex, even if it is… friendly?" I sputter.

"He already texted me personally. How he's happy for me, and how we're still the family he never had. He said he wishes you the best and can't wait to meet up again. Of course, I told him you were seeing someone, because I didn't want him to think you're all sad and lonely. Dude seemed surprised but happy."

Harry is not the type of person to admit his faults.

He lives in an alternative world. One where we're all friendly.

I'm going to be sick.

"Why does he have to come? I—don't want to focus on him when it's supposed to be your wedding, Esha."

"He'll be one guest in a two-hundred person wedding, Reema."

This can't be happening to me. It's already going to be hard enough to show up alone, but to do so when everyone, including fucking Harry, thinks I'm bringing a boyfriend? I hunch over in my bed.

"Esha."I say her name like a curse.

"Well, you should have answered your phone! And you know how Uncle Sammy gets. Should I take back the invitation? I mean… I can if you want me to …? Obviously I'll choose whatever is more comfortable for you. But do you care about not seeing him that much? It's been two years since the divorce and you never talk about him like he matters. Did something else happen that I should know about?"

No.

I can't bear to tell her the truth. Not when I'm so close to erasing all the damage that was done. Not when I've spent so much time fixing myself.

But what if Harry gets annoyed that he's no longer invited and starts telling Esha things I can't have her know? He'll spin it for his benefit…

The curtain around me waves with the breeze of the air-conditioning.

I'm so ashamed I let him do this to me.

I don't want anyone to know I handed over my credit cards so gullibly. That he didn't steal them from me, but I gave them to save the relationship. So pathetic.

"It's fine," I say.

"You sure?"

"… Yeah."

"Only if you say so. Anyway, enough about exes. I'm excited to see your new man. What's his name again? You know I was talking to mom the other day, and we both couldn't remember it, although I'm sure you must have mentioned it at some point."

I specifically hadn't.

"What's his name?" she asks again.

I shut my eyes, my heart racing in my chest.