24. Marco

CHAPTER 24

MARCO

I grabbed the bullhorn off the emcee who was announcing my win. Bad manners? Yeah, but I didn't care. All that mattered was, Eve was running away. I couldn't let her. Never again.

"Eve," I howled. " Eve! "

I scanned the crowd. Nothing. But she had to be close, still. Close enough she could hear. I raised up the bullhorn, but Rafael grabbed it.

"Give me that. Idiot!"

I jerked it away. The mouthpiece rubbed on my jacket, firing off static. I still couldn't see her, but I tried anyway, filling my lungs to roar over the crowd.

"Eve, it's me! Marco! You— you make me better."

Rafael grabbed for the horn again, but I twisted away.

"You make everything better. All that you touch. I want you to know, this day, this race, the man I am today?—"

A raw, savage cheer went up, so loud my ears rang. Could Eve even hear me over all that? I bawled out her name like a bull in a field, but my horn squealed with feedback. Hoots rose from the crowd. The emcee snatched the horn back and I sagged where I stood. Eve — Eve, where was she? Had she run away? Why had she come, just to ditch me again?

Rafael was laughing. Cameras closing in. I swung my head left and right, trying to see through the flashes. She wouldn't have come this far, only to leave me. She had to be out there, here somewhere. Waiting.

"Eve!"

"You mean Eve Hansley? Is she here tonight?"

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you not break up?"

I jumped down, frantic, and pushed through the press. I had to get to her, no time to spare. Shutters whirred all around and I ran without direction, trying to think on my feet where she'd be hiding. My car, maybe? But she'd need the keys. The bathrooms? The drivers' rooms? Could she even get in there?

"Marco! Can I get your autograph?" A plump little kid ran up, holding out a T-shirt. It had my face printed over the front. I smiled at him, still peering over his head.

"Got a pen, bud?"

"Ma?"

His mother dug through her big, messy purse. She seemed to take forever, checking every pocket. After an eternity, she came up empty. "Sorry, kid, uh… Use my eyeliner?" She held it out to me and I snatched it rudely, scribbling my name across my printed forehead. The kid squealed and bounced. His mother shook her head.

"What do we say?"

"Thank you, thank you!"

"You're very welcome, and you have a great day." I handed the shirt back, and his mother's eyeliner, and took off half-sprinting before more fans could find me. I raced for the drivers' rooms, knowing I'd missed her. Knowing she'd waited and I hadn't come, and now it was blown, my very last chance. All because?—

"Marco!"

I spun around. "Eve!"

She was standing half-hidden behind a shuttered ice cream cart, halfway between the drivers' rooms and the garage. I laughed at the sight of her, loose with relief.

"What are you doing hiding back there? Come to my room, and we'll?—"

"Rafael's team is in there."

I glanced over my shoulder, then ducked behind the ice cream cart.

"I was texting you," she said. "Didn't you get them?"

"I don't have my phone." I turned out my pockets to show her. I wanted to grab her and spin her around, kiss her a million times. Carry her home. But her eyes were wide, worried. Her lips were pinched tight. We had talking to do still, lots to work out.

"I'm sorry," I said.

She flung her arms around me. Hugged me so tight I grunted. I held her and rocked her, kissed the top of her head.

"We should go somewhere," I said. "Somewhere quiet, to talk."

"Your car?"

"Yeah. Come on." I'd parked in a quiet spot away from the track, in the shade near a coffee shop in a narrow street.

"Drive us somewhere," said Eve, when she got in.

"Drive us where?"

"Somewhere, just anywhere. Let's drive and talk."

I put the car into gear and felt my tension ease off. The engine purred and I took a deep breath. The radio had come on, and I turned it off.

"I should start," I said, but I couldn't think where. Not with what I'd said. She didn't need the reminder. New Zealand, maybe, when I thought she was leaving. Or before that, at the comedy club, when I saw how great she was. How I'd hate to lose her.

"My dad left," I said, surprising myself. Eve looked surprised too.

"What? When? Last week?"

I gripped the wheel tighter. "No. Years ago. It— Me and Ma…" I trailed off, lost. What was I saying?

"Go on," said Eve. She slid her hand over to rest on my knee. I glanced at it, exhaled, and looked back at the road.

"It changed everything. Changed our whole family. The thing was, with Dad, the family never liked him. My grandparents hated him, my uncles, my aunts. They never thought he was good enough to be with Ma. And they were right, of course. He was no good. All he did was go drinking and sleep in late, and spend Ma's money. We'd have been better without him, except…"

"You missed him?"

"Well, yeah, but it wasn't just him we lost. Ma blamed my uncles for driving him off, them and her father, and she just— she lost it. She moved us up north, all the way to Coseano. Cut off all contact with the rest of our family. I went from playing with my cousins, eating lunch at my aunt's, going out with my grandparents, to just me and Ma. And she was never home. She worked all the time."

Eve squeezed my knee. "How old were you?"

"Six. And I didn't get it. I thought they ditched us , first Dad, then the rest of them. That's how Ma made it sound, and I didn't know better."

Eve frowned. "But your aunt— didn't she help you? Didn't she sponsor you through her garage?"

I nodded. "Yeah. But no thanks to Ma." I let out a long breath, letting go of my anger. I'd had this out with Ma a long time ago. We'd found our way back, but damn, it still stung. "What happened was, my cousin found me on Insta. He told me the whole story, and I didn't believe him. But I talked to my nonna, and yeah. It was true. When Dad left, Ma just couldn't take it. She had to blame someone, but she loved him too much, so she cut off the rest of them. Moved us away."

The road flew by outside, the streets, the sky. Eve was stroking my knee, little thumb-circles. I couldn't explain to her how hollow it felt, looking back on those years in Coseano. I'd had nobody then, and no reason why. They'd all just?—

"They left you," said Eve. "Or it felt like they did."

"Yeah," I said, hoarsely. "I thought it was me. Me and Dad fought the night he left us. He was trying to say goodbye to me, but I didn't get it. I was pissed because he wouldn't come play outside. I called him, uh, a word I shouldn't have known. He sent me to bed, and that was the last I saw him."

" Asshole, " said Eve. "I'm sorry, but…"

"Yeah." I laughed, thin and shaky. "He kind of was. Is. And it's not an excuse for how I treated you, for what I said, or the way I was acting. But I never let anyone close after him. I'd blame it on women just wanting my money, and yeah, that was part of it, but it went deeper. I always felt, I don't know. Not good enough. Like when you saw the whole of me, that's when you'd leave me."

Eve laughed aloud. I jerked, offended.

"What? What's so funny?"

"I thought the same." She took a deep breath. "That I wouldn't be enough for you. That you'd get bored."

It was my turn to laugh. "You? Not enough?"

"I never have been. Not by myself." She turned away from me, to watch out the window. "Everyone had their ideas of who I should be — my parents, the public. Rafael. They always seemed happiest when I wasn't myself. Then with you, I was myself, but we weren't real. I wanted us to be real, but I didn't think you did."

"You didn't think — what?" I pulled the car over sharply, screeched to a halt. Unhooked my seat belt and twisted to face her. "That's all I wanted. All I still want."

She went still, so still I couldn't tell if she was still breathing. "All you want?"

"Of course. It's all I've wanted since… since, I don't know. Practically day one. You make me smile, laugh. You make me feel… right. Like the person I am, who I want to be, my plans for the future — like it's worth something. Like I'm worth something. You make me feel that."

Eve's eyes had gone round. She sat frozen, staring.

"I'm not like my dad," I said. "I want a real future. I want a big family, kids everywhere. Not just ours, I mean, but millions of cousins. Uncles and aunts. I want to come home to you every night, hear how your day was, tell you about mine. I want you at my races, me at your shows. Your movies, your standup, whatever you do. I want my life and your life to become our life, if you'll forgive me. If?—"

"I love you," said Eve.

My head spun. "You… what?" I couldn't believe I'd heard what I'd heard. "Say it again."

She smiled. "I love you. You see who I am, and you don't try to change that. You push me to be more myself, never to hide it. So, I'm saying it. I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I forgive you, with one caveat."

My stomach plunged. "Caveat?"

She took my chin in her hand, dug her fingers in deep. "If I ever catch you again comparing me to fruit?—"

"No! Never! Never! We'll banish all fruit. No apples, no strawberries. No wine, because grapes."

Eve broke out laughing. "We can still eat fruit."

"Only to get rid of it."

She pulled me toward her, into her arms. Her kiss was like heaven, like coming home. She'd only been gone a week, but it felt like a lifetime, and now she was back with me, I'd never let go. I plunged my fingers deep into the fall of her hair, memorizing its softness, the heat of her skin. The molten perfection of her lips against mine. Then Eve was pinching me hard on my arm.

"Ow. What's that for?"

"So you know you're not dreaming." She pinched me again. "So you'll never forget you're all I want, too. This is real, and you're good enough."

"We've always been real." I pinched her back and she laughed. She kissed me again. Fireworks sizzled inside me, excitement, relief. She'd really come back to me, all-in this time.

"Let's drive," she said. "Let's drive somewhere, fast."

She buckled her seat belt and I buckled mine, and we peeled out heading into our next adventure.