24. Alana

TWENTY-FOUR

When I return to camp, I feel as though everyone is watching me. Probably, they are. But not because of what I was doing at the lake.

They are always watching me.

It is Maura who approaches me. She had been standing with Pen, and Raine, and leaves them to stride over. Her legs are thin and shaky, but she still walks with the elegance of an elder.

“What do you think of your boyfriend’s plan?” she asks, barely pausing for breath.

“What do you think?” I ask her, hands on my hips.

“You heard me. I agreed to join him.” She looks behind her and Pen and Raine. “We all did, although it has been three days now and still no more progress. So, the Leafborne are starting to doubt your jester’s credentials as a leader.”

“Finn knows what he’s doing. He will share information when he has it.”

“He is relying on the kindness of elves, I hear.” Maura picks a blade of grass and bites it between her front teeth. “A bad idea,” she says, shaking her head. “You can tell him that from me – elves are always a bad idea.”

“Finn has a contact he trusts. He wouldn’t put us in jeopardy. Look at what he’s done to get us out.”

“From what I remember, it was you who did most of the work.” She quirks an eyebrow at me. “What precisely did the jester do?”

“His name is Finn.” Indignation blooms in my chest. Does she always have to be so objectionable?

“Are you still having the visions?” she asks the question so slowly that I’m not sure I’ve heard her correctly. When she meets my eyes, she lowers her voice and asks the same question again. “I’ve heard you at night.” She tilts her head in the direction of the others, who are gathered in small groups, talking, playing runes, waiting – always waiting. “They think they’re hearing the sounds of a fae and her lover, but I know different. Those are the cries of someone having nightmares. Dreams. Visions.” She fixes her gaze on mine. Her eyes are like cut diamonds. Sharp. Shining. “What do you see, Alana?”

For the first time since the day she told me I could stay in the village after my brother died, I see something verging on empathy in Maura’s eyes. I am tempted to drop my gates and search her to see whether I am right. But this is not the moment to break her trust.

“I see...” My hands are trembling. Could I tell her what I saw? Could I finally release the knowledge that has been kept in my head all these long weeks? Could she help me make sense of it? “I see Kayan.” I lie to her. A brazen, barefaced lie.

And she knows it.

With a sigh, she shakes her head. Then she turns and walks away. Was that it? Was she giving me a chance to bridge the gap between us and did I just waste it?

“Are you all right?” Briony appears at my side, as she always seems to when I’m in need of a friendly face, and offers me a piece of dandelion bread. “I made it this morning,” she says proudly. She seems to be enjoying her turn in the kitchen, and – like several of the others – looks as if she’d be content to stay here in the woods rather than stage the rebellion Finn is hoping for.

“Fine. Things are just tense since Finn showed us those visions.” I accept the bread, take a bite, and pretend that I’m enjoying it even though my stomach is churning.

“You’re going to help us?” Briony asks as we walk away, back in the direction of the lake. Above us, sunlight trickles through the canopy, casting golden freckles on the forest floor.

“Of course.” I lace my fingers together behind my back. “How could I not, after what Finn showed us?”

Briony nods slowly. She pauses and scuffs her foot against the floor. “I’m not sure I want to.” She speaks quietly, and meets my eyes with a look that is swimming with guilt. A tear escapes and rolls down her pale cheek. “Alana, I’m not brave or strong. I was in the castle because I had nothing to lose. After Henrik died...” She inhales sharply. We haven’t spoken of the fact that my friend killed her lover, and that she was the one who reported Kayan to Eldrion, since we got here.

I do not blame her.

But she blames herself.

“Here, though...” She gestures to the forest surrounding us. “It’s peaceful, Alana. Perhaps we’re foolish for wanting more.”

“But Finn is right, Briony.” I rub my temple and try to shift the thoughts of Eldrion that are starting to cloud my mind once more. “He will never truly let us go. We’ll never really be free. And don’t you think we have a duty to make sure no one has to suffer at the hands of that man ever again?”

Briony sighs a heavy sigh. “I just want a simple life.” She stops and sits down, crossing her legs. She picks a daisy and smells it, smiling. “A husband, and some children. A vegetable patch.”

“That sounds delightful.” I sit, too, and smile at her. “But none of that will happen if Eldrion stays in power. He will never let it.”

I hesitate. For the second time today, I am tempted to share the truth about my visions. The future I have seen if Eldrion remains in power. Because now, more than ever, I am convinced that is what I’ve been seeing.

Before I can decide whether to burden Briony with my truth, a familiar bell chimes in the distance. Finn... Finn is back.

I rise quickly, helping Briony to her feet, and pad quickly through the forest, grass cool beneath my feet despite the warm sun above us.

When we reach him, he waves, and smiles. He runs towards me and scoops me into his arms, kissing me with a strength I haven’t felt in weeks. “I know how we’ll do it.” He looks into my eyes, then kisses my forehead. “Alana, I know exactly how we will win.”

Finn is pacing up and down. We are by the lake, alone. He asked Briony to leave us, and he’s speaking so quickly I can hardly keep up. “It all makes sense now,” he says, grinning at me.

His wings flutter as he speaks.

“Garratt, the elf, sent me to an ancient library. I read a text. A long, detailed text. It was in old elvish.”

“You speak old elvish?” I frown at him, almost smiling because of the energy fizzing on his skin but struggling to make sense of what he’s saying.

“We all do. All Shadowkind,” he says dismissively. “But that’s not the point, Alana. It told me his weakness.”

“Whose weakness?”

“Eldrion’s... Well, it didn’t tell me. Garratt told me before I even got to the library. But the text made it all make sense.”

“Finn, please slow down. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He takes a deep breath, clutching my hands. “He has shadow magic.” Finn’s eyes brighten.

Shadow magic... I shake my head. “No living fae has shadow magic.”

“Eldrion does. There have always been rumours, but one of Garratt’s contacts in the castle saw it with her own eyes. Saw him using it. Garratt, too. Clearly, Eldrion’s losing control.”

Ice-like dread settles in the base of my stomach. “Finn, how is this a good thing? Shadow magic is one of the most powerful...” I inhale sharply. “I can’t fight him. I can’t win against a fae who can command that kind of darkness.”

“But you can if you can also command the darkness.”

“I don’t understand.” I let go of his hands and put some space between us. Over Finn’s shoulder, Kayan appears. He is watching us. He does not speak to me, but his words echo in my head. Do not trust what they say.

I try to dislodge them, so I can think clearly.

“Alana, you already took some of his powers. If you can make him use his shadow magic, and then take it from him – you can end him.” Finn looks at my hands, and I realise I am holding them out in front of me, palms up, as if they might start glowing at any moment. “And then you can use it to destroy them all.” Finn’s lips stretch into a grin. “Alana, if you can take Eldrion’s shadow magic, we can right centuries of wrongs, and truly free the kingdom. We can make Luminael what it once was.” He stretches out his arms and raises his voice. “We really can end them all, Alana. You can end them all.”

Finn doesn’t wait for my response, just squeezes my hands, and tells me he has to go and talk to Yarrow. “Do not speak of the shadow magic, though,” he says as he jogs away. “We have to keep that between us. The others won’t understand. They won’t trust your power.”

As soon as he is out of sight, Kayan appears in front of me.

I am still reeling from Finn’s revelation. “Is he speaking the truth?” I ask, annoyance flashing in my tone as I wait for Kayan to tell me that he cannot answer my question.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.

“The visions I’ve seen, do they show what will happen if Eldrion lives? Will he use his shadow magic to destroy the kingdom?”

Again, Kayan says nothing.

“If you cannot answer me, how can you be here to guide me?” I yell at him, striding away to the edge of the lake. Fury bubbles inside me. I project my anger towards the water and bring a wave rushing towards the shore. It explodes at my feet, turning into a million raindrops that pelt down upon me.

“Alana . . .”

“Go...” I turn around, glaring at him. “I don’t want you here. You are not helping. I cannot think straight with you here. How do I know he didn’t send you? How do I know you’re not part of Eldrion’s game, trying to make me distrust my friends, my instincts.”

“You should always trust your instincts,” Kayan says quietly. “What do they tell you, Alana? Think. What do they really tell you?”

“They tell me I don’t want to see you right now. They tell me I want you gone.” I fling out my arms, pull another wave of water to the shore, and throw it at Kayan. It engulfs him, swallowing up his light.

As it disappears, guilt washes over me.

But it is too late.

He’s gone.