Royal Hastings, University of London Multimedia Art MA Final Project

Candidate name: Jonathan Danners

Candidate number: 0883482

As project leader I take some responsibility. But throwing blame around never solved anything – when something’s done, we have to move forward, neutralise the problem and get things back oncourse. In our case, literally get ourselves back on the course.

If I were to blame anyone, it would be Patrick. What was he thinking? Even if he believed Cameron was attacking Ludya, Suzie and I were there; we wouldn’t have let him.

Cameron wasn’t attacking Ludya. He was trying to get the unit back. We would later realise he was a private investigator shadowing us for RD 8. Even Gela knew that much. He got a call when we were in the room, and that call changed everything. We’d later discover it was Mae Blackwell, his boss at RD 8. She told him to retrieve the unit immediately. He rang off and said, ‘OK, game’s up, give it back.’

When Suzie pulled the old radio from her coat, that was when Ludya and I realised she’d stolen the tech, not just photographed it. Cameron tried to grab it from her, but she threw it to Ludya. I shouted at Luds to keep hold of it. Suzie leapt to help, tripped and hit the floor instead. Cameron was totally focused on the unit; Ludya looked to me. Her eyes asked if she should let it go. Mine told her to keep it … Patrick came out of the bathroom and, before any of us knew it, he’d swung the iron. Cameron staggered to the wall, then slid down it to the floor.

Patrick, Ludya and I stood there, stunned … But Suzie wasn’t frozen at all. She jumped up, ran to Cameron, rolled him into the recovery position, sat back and watched to see if he came round. Patrick staggered backwards, dropped the iron, sank down onto the double bed and began to wail with his head in his hands. Eventually Ludya whispered, ‘Shall I dial 999?’

‘No!’ Suzie checked Cameron’s pulse, eyes, breath. She looked at me, and that look told me all I needed to know. He was dead and there was no way we could have the emergency services here. Ludya reeled away and sat on a bunkbed, turned her back on the whole scene. Patrick joined Suzie on the floor by Cameron’s side and tapped his cheek as if to wake him up. Kept saying, ‘Sorry, Cameron, sorry’ over and over. Eventually Pat realised we hadn’t called anyone. It could only have been a matter of minutes – four at most – but it felt like an hour. The phone alarm. When it first went off, we all remembered it from that day in the studio. Again it was Suzie who had the presence of mind to act. She grabbed it from Cameron’s pocket and held it in front of his face. Silence. And from that moment on, we’ve had to do the same thing every five minutes, day and night.

As team leader, I must distribute responsibilities according to individual strengths and weaknesses. Well, only Suzie was strong enough for this task. Ludya refused, Patrick tried, but he had to keep Jem busy. So when Suzie has to sleep, it’s down to me.