19. Benji

BENJI

I sat there in Doc Morgan’s waiting room, my leg bouncing nervously, while my mother rubbed by back and Connie stroked my arm. For once I didn’t mind her hand on me. In fact, her touch reassured me that I wasn’t alone, and neither was Bastian. We were all there—Mom, Dad, Connie, Aunt Bea, and Great Nan, all lined up in a row, side by side, sitting in the waiting room chairs.

The only one sitting alone was Sterling, legs crossed tightly and fingers tapping away at his phone. “There’s no need to get all dramatic, you know. I’ve been through this a million times.” He said it almost as though he was bragging. “He’s always fine after one of these infusions. Hell, he’s better than fine. Full of energy. Happy as a puppy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to ask the doctors to plug me into that shit. Just stick a PICC line in my arm and fill the tank to the top. Just sayin’.”

None of us said anything in response. We were all too shaken and anxious to waste our energy on Sterling at this point.

A moment later, a door opened and Doc Morgan stepped out of his office.

“How is he? Is he okay? Please tell me he’s gonna be okay.” My voice quivered on the brink of more tears.

“He’s gonna be fine. At least for now,” Doc Morgan said, cutting straight to the chase. “He’s awake, and the plasma top-up will give his platelet count a solid boost. In a few hours he’ll be full of beans. But we need to keep an eye on him. I’m recommending a blood test every second day for the next week to monitor those levels, and I’d like to order in another delivery of plasma from Eau Claire. That is, if he’s staying here in Mulligan’s Mill.”

Sterling scoffed so loudly his voice echoed. “Ah… no! I’ve already booked us on the first flight from Eau Claire to Chicago in the morning. Do you have any idea how insanely expensive a last-minute flight on Christmas morning is? I’ll tell him he’s welcome when I talk to him. Now can you please let me in to see my boyfriend? The company out here is about as fun as a funeral.”

“You’re not taking him anywhere,” I said boldly. “And you’re not going to be the first to talk to him. I will.”

Doc Morgan cleared his throat awkwardly. “Actually, Benji. Bastian wants to talk to Sterling.” Doc turned to Sterling and said, “You can go in and see him now.”

I felt my heart drop through a trapdoor in my chest.

Like a six-year-old, Sterling poked his tongue out at me and snapped himself out of his chair, strutting into Doc’s office and slamming the door behind him.

“And I thought I was a lot,” muttered Bea. “That boy takes the definition of ‘diva’ to a whole new level.”

“What the heck is Bastian even doing with him?” Connie asked. “He throws my chakras into turmoil just looking at him.”

“Now, now,” said Mom. “Maybe it’s the Mrs. Claus costume talking, but everyone has a good side. I’m sure Sterling just struggles to express his.”

I looked at her in shock. “Mom, he’s an asshole.”

“Oh, who am I kidding. You’re right dear, he’s a total asshole. It’s been a big day, I guess I’m too tired to think straight. We should get Great Nan home, just look at the poor dear.”

We all looked at Great Nan to see Doc Morgan was kneeling before her with his stethoscope out, moving it urgently over her chest.

“Oh dear,” he said with sudden concern. “I’m afraid I can’t find a heartbeat.”

Mom waved his words casually away. “Oh, she’s fine.” Getting up from her seat, Mom took Great Nan by the shoulders and gave her a good shake. “Great Nan, wake up! Step away from the light!”

With a snort and a splutter, Great Nan came back to life. “What’s going on? Where am I? Who the fuck ate my Christmas turkey?”

“Great Nan, we’re having the turkey for lunch tomorrow,” Dad reminded her, pulling the fake white Santa’s beard under his chin in the hope she might recognize him. “In the meantime, we need to get you to bed otherwise you’ll end up sleeping the whole way through Christmas.”

Mom turned to me. “Darling, will you be okay if we leave you here?”

“I’ll be fine. Everyone, please go. It’s late and like Mom said, it’s been a big day. Doc said Bastian’s going to be fine. I’ll give him your love and fill you in on how he’s doing later.”

Connie patted my leg. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay a little longer, Cuz? Really, I don’t mind.”

“It’s fine. Go to bed, everyone. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

Exhausted, my family shuffled their way out of Doc Morgan’s clinic, Mom blowing me one final kiss over her shoulder as they left.

With a long sigh, Doc Morgan plonked himself down in the seat next to mine. “How are you doing, my boy? You okay?”

“Not really. Before Bastian came back, I was just angry all the time. Now I’m confused and angry… and it feels like I’m on the verge of having my heart broken all over again.”

Doc Morgan reached into the pocket of his doctor’s coat. “You know, when you were a little kid, I used to give you one of these and it’d magically make everything better.” He pulled out a lollipop in a clear plastic wrapper.

I looked at it, full of nostalgia, instantly missing those childhood days when everything seemed so much easier. “Will it still work?”

Doc shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

He handed me the lollipop, then pulled one out for himself. “Don’t mind if I join you.”

Together we tore open the plastic wrappers and popped the lollipops into our mouths.