14. Bastian

BASTIAN

I watched him leave.

I let him go.

Just as he asked.

When all I wanted to do was beg him to stay… and scream at Sterling to leave instead.

But I didn’t.

I was shell-shocked by all the emotion in the room and my floundering excuses to explain away why I had done what I’d done to Benji.

But my attempt to pour reason over my actions, my attempt to smooth out what had been tussled and torn between us for far too long, became a mishandled wreck in my retelling of events.

Of course, Sterling’s arrival had done nothing to help.

“Why did you come?” I asked again now that Benji was gone, leaving me, Lonnie, and Ronnie standing in the living room while Sterling slouched in Great Nan’s chair like a lazy teenager. “What possible reason could you have for coming here, Sterling?”

My pretty blond boyfriend flopped his hands out as if to show he had no hidden agenda. “What? I told you. I want you to take me away from here. Away from everywhere . If you’ve done what you came here to do, then let’s go.” He glanced at Lonnie. “No offence, darling. And your hair looks fabulous, by the way. But you understand. It’s time Bastian and I had a little boyfriend time. Alone.”

Ronnie cleared his throat. “Actually, Lonnie and I have somewhere else to be in half an hour. If it’s okay with the pair of you, we’re just going to clear lunch away and leave you two alone.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t expect any of this to go the way it—”

“Oh sweetheart, you’ve got nothing to apologize for,” said Lonnie, squeezing my hand. “You two chat for as long as you need… but Bastian, I hope you’ll stay. Sterling, darling, you’re most welcome to stay too if you can bear a wintery Mulligan’s Mill Christmas. In the meantime, I’d like everyone to attend the Christmas Eve parade tonight. It would mean the world to Ronnie and I if you could all come. Do you think you can do that?”

I smiled and squeezed Lonnie’s hand right back. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Lonnie kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you, darling.”

With that, she and Ronnie hurried into the dining room to start clearing away the lunch that none of us had touched.

“You’ve got that totally annoyed look on your face,” Sterling said, brushing his nails with the pads of his fingers to try and bolster the shine. “Can you please just drop the negativity? You’re making everything feel totally toxic right now.”

“I’m making things toxic? Are you serious? Sterling, you’re the one who just barged into a Christmas celebration that you weren’t invited to with the intention of dragging me away.”

“Celebration? Really? It didn’t feel like much of a celebration when I walked in. Had Benji been crying? Because it totally looked like he’d been crying. In fact, it kinda looked like he was on his way out the door.”

I fumed and started pacing. “Yes, he might have been crying. And yes, he might have been leaving. So what? We were in the middle of unpacking a lot of shit. We didn’t need you here to complicate things.”

“There you go again, calling me a complication… again! Do you honestly believe that’s what I am to you?”

“Well, you don’t exactly make things easier now, do you Sterling?”

“Says the man who threw up on my vintage Persian rug like a sick old cat! Twice!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “You know what… maybe this isn’t working anymore.”

“Maybe what isn’t working anymore?”

“This. You and me. Maybe it never really did.”

Sterling laughed. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. And you call me the drama queen. Now, are you going to show me where the bathroom is? It took four flights to get here, and I need a shower. Oh, and if we’re going to attend this Hicksville Christmas Eve parade, I’m going to need to raid your suitcase. Apart from the clothes I left Chicago in, everything in my suitcase is pink, floral, and very skimpy. I assume the guest rooms are this way?”

Without another word he headed straight for the stairs.

I rubbed my temples, wondering how the fuck things just went from bad to worse.