11 Cylene

Sneaking up on critters is kind of my thing. But when I overheard Lanos tell Vitus that his problem was that he was basically in love with me, I had to leave. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that I lost.

I shudder where I sit on the railing, remembering the gray-violet alien with a gigantic set of horns on his head and the way he cornered and sniffed me as I left the stairwell.

"Are you taken?" he'd asked.

I'm still not sure. "Nytheralian bit me."

I'm glad he's back inside the bar. I hope he tells the other singles to leave me alone. But Vitus' warning about others having their eye on me has been proven true.

Needing a quiet space to think about this new course my life has taken, I wandered until I found the balcony.

A few others are out here with me, most couples, a few loners like me. I hear the announcement over the speakers regarding the plans for the ropes course in the morning. But nothing can spoil the view of the stars from here. It's strangely beautiful yet disorienting to look out across the lunar landscape to Earth and know that my brother and father are down there somewhere.

How do they still have so much pull on me when I'm so far away? That isn't right.

They reprogrammed my instincts over the last decade. I need to let go.

Thinking back on my life on Earth, I know I never want to go back. There's nothing for me there.

A warm breeze curls through my hair. Most of the women here have been pampered and prepped for this week with manicured nails and freshly dyed hair. I just feel lucky to be clean and, for the moment, free.

But there is emptiness in me as I look out at the stars from the sheltered surface of the moon. Vitus saved me twice. Then, he gave me the ride of my life. And all I have done is push him away.

I just didn't want to go right into serving someone else. Signing up for Abr was my mistake. Even if I go on alone and broke, I will be free. I guess I still got what I wanted.

But it doesn't fill that void like I want it to.

Not like Vitus' tongue.

I tense involuntarily from the memory.

Beside me, the little brown bird pecks at the bite of bread I didn't finish, then flutters away.

Warm breath falls over my shoulder, and a pair of green arms brace the railing, locking me in the corner. "Heard you and the blue man split."

"He was recently injured in battle and needed to rest." I look him in his yellow eyes, fearing his intent and hoping he can see mine. "Why'd your pick leave you?"

He stretches upright, puffing out his chest. "She didn't leave me. It was a mutual parting."

"Uh-huh. She probably saw your wandering eyes and decided she wanted someone more loyal. Nothing worse than being someone's second choice."

As he storms off, I notice Vitus watching me from beside the door. He doesn't come closer, though his spread feet suggest he wants to.

I'm tired after the race and the rush Vitus gave me. So I get down and walk to the doors.

"General," I say.

His cheek twitches. Vitus shifts uncomfortably. "Cylene."

"I just wanted to thank you for saving me—and for the other thing."

A faint smile touches his mouth.

"I would not have been here to see this without what you did." I motion to Earth. "There's a lot more to this galaxy than I ever realized."

He laces his fingers together and gives me a wary look. "You would like the view from Nytheria. We have three moons close to us, many further out. It is quite the spectacle."

"Sounds pretty."

"It never truly gets dark on my planet. There is always a moon in the sky, shining with the light of our sun, Eiol. I hope you get to see it someday."

"Me too."

This makes him smile.

"I'm going to head to my room and get some rest."

His jaw muscles dance, and he hangs his head with a nod.

His sadness makes me stop. "Vitus."

He drags his eyes to mine.

"See you tomorrow?"

A soft light fills his gaze. "Definitely."

"Are you going to be okay?"

He takes a deep, somewhat startled breath. "There is no other option."

I have never had such power over anyone for simply existing. I'm not sure what to do about it. My heart wants me to comfort him, but instinct trained into me over the last few years tells me to run.

"I need time to wrap my head around this."

His brows knit in confusion.

"To think," I clarify.

"Ah." He shifts between his feet reminding me of just how powerful and controlled his is. "Just know you can come to me if you need anything. I won't hurt you. That's the opposite of what I want."

"I appreciate that." I take another long look at the Earth in the sky, then give him a half-smile and walk inside. It feels wrong to walk away from him when we should be dancing together or spending the night in heated bliss. But I hadn't prepared myself to lose the race. I was caught up in the hope and the promise of my own independent life. And while it's still mine, and I have the right to choose either way, I also know that I'm inexperienced with having such power over my life.

My first choice, to save up for the race, got me heartbroken. I'm not sure I trust myself to make better decisions. So right now, I'm making none.