20

Milo

Any fears I may have had that retirement would be boring—or that I'd start wearing velour tracksuits, take up golf, and be overcome by a sudden urge to move somewhere warmer and insist on having dinner at five—have not come to fruition.

Retired life is the best.

Why didn't I do this sooner?

Oh, I know.

Because I didn't have kids or a girl I am crazy, head over heels for.

But now I have both in my life…and I'm the happiest guy on the planet.

Although I'm not happy at how fast the summer is flying by. Josie will be starting school in a few weeks, and I'm not ready to not see her every day. What if she hates it? What if she struggles to make friends? What if the other kids tease her about the lunches I make for her?

I blow out a breath and try to rein in my mini-freakout. We've taken the kids to the beach. And by we, I mean Boden and I, not Beth and I, as I would have preferred, since unfortunately, one of us is not retired.

Since making it official last week, we've continued spending every spare moment we have together. For logistical reasons, Beth comes over to my place and we just hang out, play with the kids, make dinner, talk out in the backyard, and go for early morning walks.

I don't really care what we do, all that matters is that we're together, and that she's my girlfriend. Every time I think about it, I smile, and I think about it all the freaking time. I swear my cheek muscles are going to go on strike and demand a break.

I cherish every moment I get to spend with Beth, but I did comment yesterday that I hoped I wasn't taking up too much of her time, and that if she had other things to do, I wouldn't mind.

I would have minded, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

She simply shrugged and made an adorable noise, before rolling out her joke about how she only stays for the free food. Plus, she's too invested in the magical unicorn-themed puzzle she's doing with Josie and Jonah to stop coming over.

I love that she gets on so well with the kids, and they've really taken to her, too. Jonah, obviously, because he loves anyone after spending five minutes with them, but Josie as well, even if it's in her somewhat more reserved way.

I'm not placing any expectations on Beth when it comes to the kids. I'm just going to relax and see what happens. Everything's gone smoothly up to this point, and I hope it'll stay that way.

"Daddy, look!"

I'm sitting in the shallow water keeping a close eye on Josie who's in front of me, cautiously playing in the waves.

I raise my hands in the air. "You're doing great, sweetie."

She really is.

At the start of the summer, she'd barely venture into the water. Gradually, over time, she would only go in with me, sticking right by my side. Now, she's jumping and splashing about in the gentle waves all by herself.

I do the let's swap kids gesture to Boden who comes over to keep an eye on Josie while Jonah shows me the sandcastle he's building.

I had a fleeting thought that when I retired, I might not need a nanny, but that isn't happening. I have no idea how single parents manage, but I have all the respect in the world for them. I would not be able to cope on my own.

"Wike my castle?" Jonah asks, tapping his palm against my leg.

"I do. Good job, buddy."

I kneel in the sand, and he looks over at me and smiles. "Daddy, you watching?"

I nod. "I'm watching."

He takes a deep, solemn breath—something he's copying from the close up shots of the divers we've been watching at the national diving championships on TV every night—then he spins on his small heels and marches away from his sandcastles, arms winding up and down, counting out his paces until eight, which is where he gets confused and winds up at five again.

He turns back around with the most serious expression on his little face. And then, with all his strength and might, he races toward the sandcastle, flicking up sand everywhere, and stomps all over it, putting his whole body into it.

I cheer him on. "You show that sandcastle who's boss."

"Help me, Daddy," he says, kicking his leg out toward a section that hasn't crumbled yet.

"Want me to smash it?"

He squeals in delight. "Smash! Smash! Smash!"

I make a loud roaring sound, then lift my foot, slowly, menacingly.

Jonah is beside himself with giggles, eagerly anticipating what's to come.

I stomp my foot down, demolishing the last remaining part.

He hollers in glee and starts jumping up and down, using my shoulders for leverage. I roll over onto my back, grab him by his middle, and fly him over me.

He loves this, and I do, too.

I fell in love with the little guy immediately, but in the back of my mind, I had a fear I was too scared to even voice—that I would have a problem loving Jonah or that I wouldn't feel as connected to him as I would to Josie.

Those concerns haven't materialized. I feel so close to him. And it's not forced or something I try to make happen. It just is. He is one hundred percent my son, and no one can tell me otherwise.

"Let's go watch your sister in the water."

"Oh-tay."

I take his small hand in mine, and we walk over to Boden. "How's she doing?" I ask as Jonah splashes around in the shallow water beside me.

"Good. She's talking to some girls…" I look out and see the girls he means. There's three of them, and they look to be about the same age as Josie. "I think they're trying to get her to go out a little deeper so she can catch the waves like they are."

"Should I go out and see if she needs help?"

"And embarrass her in front of her new friends?" he asks with a friendly smile.

"Good point. I'll watch nervously from the sidelines, feeling completely helpless."

"Welcome to parenthood."

The next stretch of time is nerve wracking. For me. Jonah is having a great time running through the water, but in addition to watching him, I'm also keeping an eye on Josie, who is pushing herself out of her comfort zone—and into deeper water.

I keep telling myself that it's not that deep, and that in a pinch, I could reach her in a few seconds, but still, my brain is braining.

She's a strong swimmer, she's wearing a swim vest, and the conditions are relatively calm, but it's seeing her do something new for the first time. I want her to do well because if she doesn't, will that destroy her confidence and prevent her from trying new things again?

Children are fragile like that.

I glance over at Jonah, who has picked up his inflatable toy turtle, but instead of riding it, he's wrestling it.

Okay, so maybe children are fragile, toddlers not so much.

Josie goes out deeper and attempts to catch some waves. The first few times, her timing is off and she ends up in the churn.

The other girls come over to her after each attempt. I can't hear what they're telling her, but I assume it's something positive because she doesn't give up. She keeps trying, and after about five or six attempts, she finally succeeds and body surfs all the way to the shoreline.

Her new friends hug and high five her.

I'm filled with pride.

She runs over to us. "Did you see that?"

"I did, sweetie. You were awesome."

She practically jumps on top of me, wraps her arms around my shoulders, and says the four words I've been dying to hear her say all this time.

"I love you, Daddy."

My throat tightens with emotion. "I love you, too, Josie."

She gives me one final squeeze before returning to her friends.

I'm glad I'm wearing dark sunglasses to mask the tear that falls from my eye.

She finally said it.

It's taken a lot longer than I thought it would. So long I was beginning to doubt it would ever happen.

In addition to being cautious, she also takes her time to open up to people. Guess she gets that from me.

But now that she's said it, I know that she means it.

And there's no better feeling in the world than that.

I step into the bookstore and head toward the counter.

Once a week, I take Beth out on a lunch date. It's become a thing she lets me do—indulging her love of free food. That's what she likes to say, anyway, but I know she enjoys it as much as I do.

Hanging out at my house with the kids is great, but it's also nice to have a little alone time, too.

And we're going to have even more alone time this afternoon. I've cleared it with her boss, even though she probably doesn't remember what today is.

"Hey," she says, smiling warmly as I approach the counter.

"Hey, yourself."

She looks great. A fitted, burgundy blouse offsets her porcelain complexion beautifully, and a pair of high-waisted, dark wash jeans highlight her figure.

"I'll grab my purse and let Courtland know I'm going."

"Sure. No worries. You know where to find me."

She smiles knowingly as I make my way over to the thriller section. Despite retiring, I have absolutely zero time to read. But it's nice to see all the new releases I'm missing out on.

I really don't mind.

I'll take Josie telling me she loves me for the first time on the beach last week, or Jonah proudly trudging into my bedroom yesterday morning having dressed himself for the very first time, over the latest release from John Marrs, Harlan Coben, or Frieda McFadden.

Books aren't going anywhere. They'll still be there in twenty years when I may finally have some spare time.

But kids, they grow up way too fast, and I don't want to miss a thing. I want to be there for all of it.

"All right. You ready?" Beth asks when she reappears.

"Let's do it."

I take her hand in mine, but rather than turning right once we leave the store and head toward one of the nice restaurants by the marina, this time we turn left.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"You'll find out in less than a minute."

Less than a minute later, I'm opening the door to Bear's diner for her. She looks at me with a curious look in her eye but doesn't say anything as Bear tips his head to the corner booth he's reserved for me.

We sit down.

"So…" As I steeple my fingers, a jolt of nervous energy crashes into me, much like the nerves I experienced before our first date.

Does Hokeyville need a new president? Because I have no idea how Beth is going to react to this.

I ran what I'm about to do past Boden yesterday, who assured me she'd love it and that it was just the right level of cutesy, so that's the reaction I'm hoping for from her.

"So?" Beth prompts when I don't follow up my opening with anything.

Right.

Talking.

One word followed by another.

Yep. I can do this.

"Do you know what today is?"

"Wednesday?"

"Uh-huh. And the date?"

"August tenth."

"Uh-huh. And do you remember what happened on August tenth last year?"

She shakes her head. "No. I can't say that I do."

"Here's a clue. You were a little mean to me."

"That doesn't really narrow it down, does it?"

I grin. "I suppose not. Okay, then. Spice Girls."

"Excuse me?"

"And Taylor Swift. Plus a few Bruno Mars tracks."

"Wait…Was that the night we went to karaoke?"

"Bingo." I pull out a rectangular box under the table where I asked Bear to stash it for me and slide it over to her. "Happy one year anniversary."

"Anniversary," she murmurs quietly, staring at the box before lifting her eyes to me. "You…you remembered?"

"Uh, yeah. I think I'd remember meeting my favorite person. Also, I do have the whole photographic memory thing."

"Right." She slowly shakes her head, looking a little dazed. "From what I recall—and I may have consumed a few too many glasses of wine that night, so my memory might be a little foggy—but I pretty much ignored you the whole time."

"You did."

"And as you pointed out, I was a little mean to you."

I shrug. "You were."

"So, how do I go from that to being your favorite person?"

"Firstly, I'll remind you that I'm a weirdo. And secondly…I honestly don't know. But I was intrigued by you from the moment you squinted at me from across the diner and muttered something I'm assuming was disparaging about me to your friends."

She drops her head. "Oh."

"And thirdly…" I reach across the table and take her hand in mine. "I'm a weirdo."

"You already said that."

"Weirdos have a tendency to repeat themselves."

She draws in a breath, and when she looks up at me, her hazel eyes are glistening. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For…for completely misjudging you and for acting like…Well, I won't say the word, but it rhymes with witch."

"A stitch?"

That brings a small smile to her lips. "Yeah. Sorry for being such a massive stitch."

"Well, thank you. But to be honest with you, I like it." I pause and take her in for a moment. "You've always been real with me, Beth. You've never hidden your feelings or been dishonest about what you want from me. I appreciate that. I respect that. I respect you."

"There's a difference between being open about your feelings and being downright mean and not nice."

"Eh, it's a fine line. I knew you'd come around eventually."

"You did?"

"Uh-huh."

"How?"

I've got two options here.

Option one, I make some crack about how my charming personality and good looks were bound to win her over. But that would set us off on another round of inevitable sparring, which, as much as I love, that's not what this moment calls for.

So I go with option two.

Honesty.

"Life is unexpected. I never thought I'd wind up with two kids. Or that I fall for someone snarky, who hates hockey and man buns, and teases me mercilessly. But both things have happened." I reach across the table and slide my gift out of the way for the moment. "May I?"

"Yes."

I wrap my fingers around hers and instantly feel my chest expand. "Something happened the night we met, Beth. I was struck with a feeling…I…I can't explain it very well. All I know is that it's the same feeling I got when I saw Josie and Jonah for the first time. It felt right even though I didn't know you. Maybe it's…"

I trail off.

There is no way I can say what I was about to say. Forget cutesy, this would be hurtling into cheesy territory at a thousand miles an hour.

"What? Say it?" She aims those hazel eyes I'm a sucker for at me and murmurs, "Please."

I take a breath. "Promise you won't tease me about it?"

"Never."

"That's what I thought." Okay, here goes my dignity. "I was going to say, maybe it's the feeling you get when you meet your soulmate. You see someone you've never met before but your soul knows. It knows they're a good person. It knows they're the right fit for you. It knows they're worth all the roadblocks and challenges they put up in your way."

She's not laughing at me, so I finish with, "I had that feeling when I met you, Beth. And it's only grown the more we've gotten to know each other."

"I'm…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." I nudge my gift closer to her. "Here."

She delicately opens the rectangular jewelry box, her fingers trembling slightly. Inside, nestled on a soft velvet cushion, rests a gleaming necklace with multiple charms, including a book and a heart.

"Open the locket," I suggest, pointing to the heart-shaped locket.

She does, and she reads out the inscription. "MP."

"Maverick Pendleton. Your ultimate book boyfriend, remember?"

"But, wait…I never told you what he bought her."

"Yeah, well, I read the book. Okay, skimmed the book, found the grand gesture part, and took inspiration from it."

She keeps staring at the inscription for a while. A long while. And then she looks up, her expression unreadable. "MP?"

"Yeah. MP."

"And it's just a coincidence that MP happen to be your initials, too?"

"Oh. Are they? I hadn't even realized."

"You did so."

I grin. "Okay. So maybe I wasn't too mad at the universe for the fortunate coincidence."

She gets up out of the seat, sits next to me, and plants the biggest kiss on my lips.

When it ends, I mutter, "Note to self, buy Beth a necklace every day."

"That kiss wasn't for the necklace, even though I love it and will wear it all the time," she says, locking her earnest gaze on mine. "It's for you being you. You've always seen something in me, Milo, even when I didn't treat you well. And somehow, you managed to break through all the walls I've built up without applying any pressure or making me feel uncomfortable. You said we could do things on my timeframe, and you stayed true to your word. Only a strong man can manage a complicated woman, and believe me, I'm very complicated."

"Oh, I know," I murmur, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. "You're the most complicated, challenging, stubborn woman I've ever met."

Her breath hitches.

I mean it as a compliment. It takes her a few seconds to register that, and when she does, her shoulders visibly loosen.

"Yeah, well, that makes you the strongest man I've ever met."

I grin again. "Looks like we're a perfect match."

After we finish lunch, and I settle the bill—leaving Bear an extra-large tip for breaking his no-reservations-ever rule and saving me the best booth in the house—we step out of the diner, but instead of walking Beth back to the bookstore, I lead her in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?"

"I have another surprise for you."

"But I have to get back to the shop."

"No you don't."

"Uh, yes I do. Courtland is a pretty chill boss, but he's not cool with me skipping out on work."

"Courtland knows you won't be back at work this afternoon."

Beth stops walking. "What are you talking about? You've prearranged this?"

"I have."

"Without telling me?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if you knew."

I resume walking, and after a few moments, Beth catches up to me. "Am I going to like this surprise?"

My hand finds its way to hers.

She's been waiting for me to do this since the night she laid eyes on me at karaoke night last year.

"Yeah," I say, grinning big. "I think you're going to like the surprise."