17

Beth

I pick up the pace on my early morning walk.

"Don't expect me to take it easy on you, mister," I say, accelerating my stride. "You've had two days to recover from basking in the glory of winning the Stanley Cup."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Milo mutters, catching up to me.

With his long hair tied up in a neat man bun, he looks great in a light blue athletic shirt and black shorts. The material is light and breathable and clings to his muscular frame. I am definitely not checking him out any chance I get.

We hike up the trail to Cuddle Cove Cliff briskly.

And quietly.

I've got a lot on my mind.

Actually, no, that's not true.

I've got one thing and one thing only on my mind—Milo, and specifically, what his plans for the future are.

Because I'll be honest, I don't know how Evie does it with Fraser being away for so long. I have even more respect for her now because I've experienced how hard and lonely it can be. These past few months since the earthquake at Evie and Fraser's second wedding have draaagged.

Milo and the kids have only been to Comfort Bay three times, and even though we hung out, it was never long enough. Last time they were back, Jonah proudly showed me he could count to ten, and Josie talked about the "Berenstain Bears" series I recommended Milo buy her. Then, they were off again way too quickly.

I've become attached to Josie and Jonah faster than I thought I would, and I miss them so much when they're gone. I've managed to catch a few games in LA, but the time we spend together is never enough. And if it's this difficult when Milo and I aren't even officially together, what will it be like if—when?—we are?

I like him a lot.

I trust him a lot.

But his career is…a lot, too.

And as strong as my feelings for him are, I'm not sure if that's something I can handle. I know hockey players have relationships, but I don't know if I'm cut out for the long-distance thing.

It's different with Evie and Fraser, and even Hannah and Culver because they all had a history before they started dating. Yes, Milo and I have only known each other for almost a year, but most of that time was spent apart, and the time we had together I was busy trying to keep distance between us because I was scared to let anyone in.

But Milo isn't just some guy.

Discovering he's a fantastic person, full of wit, intellect, and a refreshingly humble attitude. Observing his heartfelt devotion and unwavering commitment to his children. Witnessing his bravery as he risked his life and ran into a crumbling building to help save others.

Milo is the best guy I've ever met.

But do I have it in me to be a hockey player's girlfriend?

Maybe I do. Maybe we could find a way to make it work.

But do I have it in me to be a hockey player's girlfriend when said hockey player also has two kids?

I've been giving it a lot of thought. Josie and Jonah are always going to be a huge part of Milo's life, and if things between us develop, they'll also be a huge part of my life, too.

And I'm good with that. I really am.

So maybe we can try?

What's the worst thing that can happen? Oh, I know. I strike out in love again, making it three for three.

These thoughts have been whirring in my brain nonstop for weeks now. It's exhausting, and it's clear that Milo and I need to do the thing we'd said we'd do and communicate.

We reach the summit right on schedule—five minutes before the sun is set to rise.

The sounds of birds chirping and Milo glugging down some water from his bottle fill my ears.

I settle on the bench, my eyes sweeping over the charming town of Comfort Bay.

"This is my favorite part of the day," I tell Milo as he takes a seat beside me.

"Why do you like it?"

"Because it's so peaceful and quiet. People are friendly. All the craziness of the day hasn't started yet. It'd be nice if this was how life was all the time."

"Friendly people and less crazy does sound good."

"Makes it worth getting outside the house for."

He smiles, setting off a wave of flutters in my tummy.

"This okay?" he asks, clasping his fingers around mine.

"Yeah." Our eyes meet. "It's okay."

We watch the sun come up in silence, holding hands, my mind still racing and my stomach tied in knots. I hate that I'm overthinking this.

We need to talk.

Lay it all out there.

Figure out what we're doing so that we can make a plan, and I can stop imagining a million different scenarios that mostly all end in a fireball of hurt and devastation.

And they say romance readers have a tendency to be overly dramatic.

I open my mouth to say something, but Milo beats me to it. "So, I have some news."

"Oh. Is it a man bun update?"

"Yes." His speedy reply catches me off guard, and he laughs. "No. It's not. It's actually something important. Something I haven't told anyone yet. So please, keep this to yourself, okay?"

"Stops scrolling through her contact list looking for NHL Digest Weekly, which is totally the name of a real sports magazine and not something I just made up."

He chuckles. "You really are something else, you know that?" He takes a breath. "I'll make the official announcement in the next few days, but…I'm retiring."

My mouth falls open in shock. "You are?"

He nods. "Yep."

"But you're only twenty-seven. The Swifts just won the Stanley Cup, and you've had the best season of your career with a .920 save percentage and six shutouts."

His forehead wrinkles. "How do you know that?"

"Evie."

"Right. Of course." He lets go of my hand, strolls to the edge of the lookout, and then swiftly steps back.

I get up and join him. "Why are you retiring?"

He smiles, staring off in the distance. "A lot has changed this past year, and I realized that my old life isn't compatible with my new life."

"Are you referring to becoming a dad?"

"I am." He turns to face me. "Amongst other things."

A warm shiver races through me as I stare up into his green eyes. "Other things?"

"Yeah." His thick fingers slide softly down my cheek. "One thing in particular. She's five-six. As snarky as she is gorgeous. Obsessed with books. Someone I'm lucky to call my friend and am currently in an us-ship with."

I move in a little closer to him. "She sounds amazing."

He wraps his arm around me, tucking me into his side. "She is. There's only one problem."

"Oh."

"I can't get her out of my head. I think about her all the time. And when I'm away from her, I miss her like crazy."

A long beat passes.

"Really?"

"Really. I don't want to be away from you anymore, Beth. What's the point of buying a house in Comfort Bay if I'm never here? With Josie starting school soon, I want to make sure she and Jonah are settled and having a normal childhood. I want to do dad things like school drop offs and pickups."

"For gossiping with other parents?"

"Of course. Why else?" He grins. "I want to watch a million YouTube videos and learn how to build Jonah a treehouse. I want to have dinner at the same place at the same time every day, not room service from a different hotel in whatever city we're staying at."

"That's amazing of you."

"Actually, it's not," he replies. "Women give up their careers all the time. It's expected of them. My kids don't have a mom, so I want, no, I need to do this for them."

I'm at a loss for words as I so often am around him.

He goes on. "I'm lucky. I got to achieve my dreams. I made a successful career doing something that I love. And I went out on a winning high. I'm also in the very privileged financial position where I can take a few years off paid work to do, well, only the most important job in the world."

I smile and resist the urge to argue with him that he is amazing, despite what he says. He's right. Women make these sorts of sacrifices all the time, but it's still rare for men to do the same.

He braces my shoulders. "And I'd like a chance to see where things with us go. I'm not putting any pressure on you. But I would like to take you out on a first date, and who knows, see if you can tolerate being around me more often."

I brush my fingers over his stubbled jaw. "That doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world."

I cut off his chuckle with a kiss.

That evening, I'm messaging with my girlfriends, telling them about what Milo said on our morning walk.

I've been floating on air all day. Courtland kept checking in on me at work, convinced I've come down with something.

And I have.

It's called Milo-itis, and there's no known cure for it.

Beth: And then he said how women give up their careers all the time and tried to downplay what he was doing.

Summer: Way to come through, Milo.

Evie: It's always the quiet ones who surprise you.

Hannah: Or the loud ones.

Evie: True. So…men in general.

Summer:

Beth:

Hannah:

Amiel: Why am I always the last one?

Amiel: And no one else knows?

Beth: Nope. He's only told me.

My heart swells, thinking back to him telling me about the situation with Josie and Jonah before he shared that with anyone else, too. He does trust me, and he has right from the very start.

Which reminds me…

Beth: I cleared it with him to tell you guys, but obviously, this doesn't go anywhere.

I'm hit with four Of courses and smile when poor Amiel responds last as usual.

Hannah: So…

Beth: Yes?

Hannah: Just curious about a little something.

I grin to myself.

It's equally wonderful and alarming when one of your closest friends can be thousands of miles away, typing out a vague message, and yet you know exactly what she's getting at.

I save her the hassle of having to spell it out.

Beth: No. We haven't had sex.

Beth: Yet.

Summer: But you want to?

Beth: I do. I feel safe with him and that's super important for me. But we're not rushing things. He's been amazing and is letting me control how fast things go.

Amiel: I wish all guys were like that.

Beth: Milo has definitely salvaged my faith in men. He's a good guy.

Evie: I can vouch for that. He and Fraser have gotten close lately. He's 100% trustworthy.

Hannah: Speaking of your fiancé, any update on the wedding front?

Evie: Yes! Apparently it is possible to have wedding-related PTSD. Fraser and I are currently taking part in a world-first study group.

Beth: Using humor to deflect is MY thing, thank you very much.

Evie: x 3

Evie: We're taking a break from wedding plans which is annoying the life out of both our mothers. Eloping is looking VERY attractive right about now.

Summer: If it's what you guys want to do, go for it!

Hannah: Exactly. But please record it since we would like to see the ceremony.

Evie: I'm, like, 60% kidding. But I'll keep you all updated.

Amiel: What about you, Hannah? Any news from Italy?

Hannah: Actually, yes, I do have an announcement to make.

Beth: Good or bad? I need to prepare myself.

Hannah: Good. Very good.

Hannah: Culver and I are returning to Comfort Bay at the end of the summer!

Evie: Woohoooooooooo!!!!

Summer:

Beth: It's going to be so good to have you back!!

I've missed Hannah so much, I'm glad she's coming home.

Summer: Circling back to Beth, what's next for you and Milo and your us-ship (which I love, btw)?

Beth: He's taking me on our first official date this Friday.

Evie: Ooh, exciting! Where?

Beth: I have no idea. He won't tell me.

Amiel: Isn't the Comfort Bay Fair happening this weekend?

Evie: It is!

Amiel: He might take you there. That'd be cute.

Beth: It would be.

Beth: I'm looking forward to it.

Hannah: I'm happy for you. Also happy that you have FINALLY settled on whether you like him or hate him. I think you've made the right choice.

I frown at her message, not liking the guilt that bubbles up inside me.

Did I ever really hate Milo?

That's a very strong word.

I made assumptions about who he was, pre-judged him, which is an unfair thing to do to anyone, and treated him more harshly than he deserved, but I never outright hated him.

Beth: I'm not putting any expectations on it. It is only a first date, ladies.

Summer: True. But you've been in each other's orbits for around a year now, so it's not like an actual first date where you know nothing about the person.

Amiel: That's a good point. It's been a very long slow burn enemies-to-lovers situation with you guys.

Beth: Yeah. I guess it has.

Evie: Are you nervous?

Beth: Oddly, no.

Summer: That might have something to do with the fact that you know him.

Beth: I think you may be right about that.

Amiel: OMG, you guys! I just had a wild thought.

Hannah: What?

Amiel: What if Beth does something that's never been done in all of human history?

Evie: Which is?…

Amiel: What if she's able to enjoy her first date with a guy? No pre-date nerves, no trying on every article of clothing to see what looks best, no spiraling into anxiety. What if she's able to just chill and relax and actually have a really good time.

Hannah: That would be AMAZING!

I smile to myself.

Beth: Yeah. It would be.